Running Away From The Hero! (Remake)

RATH 21

TL: Eevee

TLN: Let the chaos begin.

3. And so the story begins. (5)

“In, Instructor! Please!”

Yep. Not happening. This is your punishment for trying to blindside your benevolent instructor.

Repent as you scream in pain!

“Kuaaaaaaaagh!”

“He, help me!”

“No, no just kill me!”

I bat away his hand that was reaching for his sword as he crawled towards it.

“I will not permit you to die.”

“No, noooo!”

-Yes! Ahhh, that’s the feeling… I wanted to feel this so much…

It feels like my mind’s getting polluted by the metal bat’s ecstatic moans. At this rate I’ll become a sadist.

This is why I didn’t want to use this thing. But it can’t be helped now.

“Ple, please… kill me…”

“Kuaaaaaaah, no, nooooo!”

I mainly focus on beating the ones who are crawling around drooling on the ground.

Since the ones who have already been hit enough are the ones going “uuuuuhhhhhh” while plastered to the ground like a wad of chewed gum all I have to do is hit the ones that are still moving.

Ah especially, I need to give my disciple a special extra beating. Since he’s a beastkin as well as being sturdy as hell he holds on well.

“Kuaaaaaak! Stop, please stop!”

-Haaang, it’s been a while oppa.(1) I see you still have that nice meaty texture you did back in the day!

Since a brat’s shouts of joy and a brat’s shouts of pain are both ringing in my ears it’s giving me a headache.

In that case I should reduce the sources of noise by one at least.

“Kuaaaaaaak!”

-A perfect 17 consecutive hits! Owner’s combo is perfect!

One by one I reduce the numbers.

I did consider finishing them off, but I’ll leave them here to tie up the empire’s forces.

-Owner? Why aren’t you hitting them more? Hurry, hurry! Aru is, feeling really good right now, so now’s the best time to hit them!

Ahh, this goddamn sadist. Its voice ringing in my head is making my head hurt but I still have work to do.

Since it seems like the organization’s washed their hands of me, I scattered the AER evidence that I didn’t need any more and fired a signal flare that I’d secretly pocketed.

-Owner, owner! If you play with fire at night then you’ll piss your pants!

Is this thing serious. But if I get caught by the princess then I’ll piss even more so it doesn’t matter!

Due to all my weird-ass experiments the fact that this thing has an ego was a stroke of fortune but the personality that got in it is the worst.

It’s said the sword the emperor uses is silent and stoic, and it’s also knowledgeable of a thousand styles, so even if you’re just wielding it then it’ll even act as a swordsmanship teacher, but this thing goes haakhaak and tries to turn its wielder to the path of the sadist.

-Eh? Owner, did you just diss me? You’re telling me that I’m worse the empire’s sword? This cute and beautiful goddess Arcadia, is worse than that old sword?!

And our minds are linked disgustingly well it reads my mind every now and then, so it’s annoying as hell.

Even though I want to craft another one, the dwarves are refusing to, plus this is the only success among countless failures, the general consensus among the craftsmen that made it is that its creation might as well be a miracle.

And since I need to find a new workplace too…

Even if I try to make another one with the gold I pinched from the empire and pinched from the organization the cost is a problem.

I chucked in all sorts of legendary metals to the point that mithril was the cheapest metal present, and the alloy produced underwent painstaking engraving work to link together hundreds of sorcery and magic formations, to create an ego sword, no an ego bat with 108 curses and 256 blessings, the production costs involved in that was massive enough to be able to compare it with the imperial budget.

Thankfully since I was on pretty good terms with other races so even if they dropped the price to the manufacturing cost, the price was still astronomical!

Thankfully during the great war I pawned off all the other expensive things the nobility of other kingdoms had on hand and so I barely became free of debt.

Although it didn’t take too long for me to fall into debt again.

“No, you’re the best.”

-Haang, of course.

Now, since it’s about time for the empire’s soldiers to arrive let’s get away.

Even if the Darksword is caught, whatever happens, happens. The princess could kill them for letting me get away, or she could just lock them in the dungeons because she never trusted them in the first place.

Or she could take them in secretly and use them as hunting dogs to track me.

Hm. Should I have just killed them right here right now?

But the signal flare’s already been shot.

So no matter what happens,

That’s also musubi.(1)

#5 Their story: A certain empire’s story.

“Your Majesty, please enlighten your lowly subjects.”

“Please enlighten your lowly subjects.”

“Ah, even the local market would be quieter than this.”

“Your Majesty, being discreet with your words in these meetings would be…”

“It’s not like you haven’t already cast silence spells around us anyway.”

“Ahh, your little shit. If you know then shut up before I have to use it.”

“Hoho, look at this buddy. I’m the emperor?”

“Then do I just need to start a revolution?”

“I’m sorry.”

Seeing the emperor who had his head bowed and looking absolutely not like an emperor at all, his head of security and long-time friend Arten sighed.

“So why did you poke Howling which was sitting nice and fine. We left that place alone because it was too annoying to bring down.”

“My scary daughter said she was going to destroy it just to kidnap a single man.”

“Like father like daughter. Why the heck are both of your scales of imagination so damn massive. To think she’d destroy the empire’s biggest organization all because she wanted to kidnap a man.”

“Dunno. I don’t know about the other kids, but since it’s Atia I need to listen.”

“Mmnn… to think she’d still be alive.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think she’d survive either. Although my heart hurts as a dad it can’t be helped as an emperor.”

“Do you even bother taking care of your kids? In that case you might as well sort out that damn successor problem already.”

“The empire’s right to the throne has always been a bloodbath with plenty of history and tradition behind it. I beat the crap out of all my brothers for this seat. But unlike my time I still minimized the number of massacres, you know?”

“Yes yes, no need to be so humble.”

“I was always a pretty talented guy.”

For a moment Arten was tempted to throw a punch but barely held onto the limits of his patience.

“It’s the emperor. The one in front of you is the emperor. No matter how trash he is, and he’s a wretch that deserves to be thrown out in the burnable trash, but he’s still the emperor,” he muttered as he clenched onto his staff tightly.

“Alright then you talented asshole. So your talented daughter threw a fit to get rid of Howling, and the morons that got nice and fat off Howling are crying for an explanation so what are you going to do.”

“What else. Leave them. My boy has already listened to his sister and taken the army out. So what.”

“The fuck you just say you retard?”

“Hey, I’m the emperor?”

Arten’s face suddenly contorted in fury that even took the emperor aback.

“Oi, does it make any sense at all that the Crown Prince left and I didn’t know about it? I’m the chief of security for the imperial family. My subordinates are guarding this place like a fortress and the damn Crown Prince of all things can slip by without even a word in my ear? And where the hell did he get those soldiers from?”

“Ah, if you mean that, that’s easily solved if he takes the soldiers that guard the imperial palace. They can leave without you none the wiser, highly experienced and usable without anyone knowing anything!”

“Oh, that’s it.”

Listening to those words Arten made an expression that said ‘Ah, I didn’t think of that!’

And he said to the emperor who looked very proud of himself.

“So, that your last will and testament?”

“Oi, hold on?”

Looking at Arten who was steadfastly ignoring the shocked emperor and continued to cast his incantation, the emperor hurriedly grabbed onto Arten’s legs and begged.

“Um, Lord Arten? Um, could you please listen to me?”

“You’re interrupting my cast. Go sit down in that corner over there and wait for a comfortable death.”

“Excuse me? This is treason?”

“Hm? So what. So today’s the day that I get to tick treason off my bucket list!”

“Kuaaak! To think there was a villain so close that aimed for the emperor’s throne!”

The moment the emperor stood up and shouted, the incantation was complete.

“Now, burn, Death’s Hellfire.”

“Eh, wait up, this is no joke!”

Kang!

The emperor shouted while instantly drawing his sword and slicing the white flame into two, but all Arten did was click his tongue and mutter “tch, it failed.” under his breath.

“Oi, even though we’re friends this is still treason?”

“From a very long time ago, they said the whip was the cure for stupidity.”

“Oi, even if I used your subordinates willfully, they’re still my subordinates in the end as well?”

“And if you take away all the palace guards before that, who’s going to stop a potential actual treasonous plot.”

“You and me?”

“You think that’s possible?!”

“It isn’t?”

For a moment Arten’s mouth closed. Now that he thought about it it actually did seem possible.

He was a archmagician who was one of the best in the continent, and aside from assorted lords of Magic Towers of a significantly large scale there were few that could match him.

And the emperor in front of him wasn’t just some moron that seemed like a crazy punk, he actually was a crazy little fuck, and back when he was still the Crown Prince he was known with one of the five greatest titles of swordsmanship in the continent, the Sword King.

In terms of pure skill, he was stronger than the most famous of them all, the Sword Star.

“We could?”

“See?”

Seeing Arten nod his head and lower his staff, the emperor relaxed and sheathed his sword.

The friend in front of him was a very excellent talent. Disregarding his title as the strongest magician in the imperial palace he also dealt with all sorts of the imperial family’s problems big and small, a splendid talent that could even do the emperor’s work for him!

So from now and in the future, he would need to work hard for him-no, the empire.

If only for the sake of his free time!

“Haa… since you’ve already gone and done it, it can’t be helped.”

“There we go, that’s my buddy.”

“Your friend’s specialties are giving up quickly and sorting out messes.”

“Alright then. Now. The demonstrations.”

“Do we need to just call it a riot and beat them down again?”

Looking at Arten who sighed as he lifted up his staff, and the emperor who brushed the sheath of his sword, there was only one other person that was beside the emperor who had been listening in on the entire conversation.

As the substitute for the imperial family’s personal knight order’s captain who was currently on duty protecting the Crown Prince, the vice-captain of the imperial knight order who was there for the first time thought.

‘Is the empire really going to be alright like this!’

As a loyal subject of the empire, he began to sincerely worry about the empire’s future.

***

“The criminal always returns to the scene of the crime!”

-Owner, owner. Even if no one’s around don’t make it obvious that owner’s crazy. I’m blushy blushy.

“Even I wouldn’t want to hear I’m crazy from you.”

I lightly retort back to the metal bat as I stuffed magic stones into a bag with dimensional storage magic.

If you wondered where we were, then answering would be human nature!

The cave where I chucked those trainees into!

Retrieve all the magic stones from here first, then move back to my office and destroy the important documents.

From there I can collect the important gear and items and either gap it from the empire, or operation dark under the lantern, I need to think which one I’ll be using.

Ah that reminds me. I haven’t done something important.

“Hello, juniors?”

“Wanna get hit?”

“No sir!”

When I lifted the metal bat in front of the homunculi that were still holding JoXX poses as always they immediately bowed down.

As expected of existences that had the memories of my former disciples.

“The promised contract is over. Ah, except you.”

With those words the figures turned wavy and vanished into the silver.

-Damn it, it’s finally over.

-I did this seeing the blasted payment and I thought I was gonna die of irritation.

-We can say goodbye to those monsters.

-Haha, goodbye, hell!

-Wait, we’re going back to hell though?

-That’s our home so that’s okay.

“Ah, wait! Take, take me too!”

I heard a grumbling from a doppelganger that was contracted at the same time but I ignored it and collected up the metal.

Even if they look like this they’re oddities that were created in the process of making the metal bat.

Although I can see quite significant damage and cracks on them, with a bit of repairs they should be reusable.

“Shut up and for now, turn back to your normal form. Your job’s nearly over anyway.”

“Really? Really?”

“Really.”

I packed away the other one that faded wavily back to its normal form, and once I opened the hidden passage that led to my office, hm? Hello?

“Was there still some bastards left?”

Kang!

A sword’s flying my way?