Save a Failed Idol's Life

‘…’

When I had a bad feeling, it was often the case that my emergency sensor was working properly.

I unknowingly stepped back slowly and accidentally hit a pile of chairs covered with white dust.

‘Ugh.’

Suddenly, my body fell back and I screamed as I struggled to balance.

The sound of sobbing stopped as if someone had noticed that there was someone nearby.

Ah… I really want to disappear. In the awkward and embarrassing atmosphere, I sweated as I curled up my body. Shim Naru raised his head.

‘There, who, who are you?’

What’s that? Why are you asking? Don’t you usually pretend to be absent at times like this? I tried to quietly avoid the place, but I touched the pile of chairs again and made a loud noise.

‘Ah… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there.’

I finally opened my mouth awkwardly. Shim Naru looked up at me with a snort.

What did you expect? Did you think a manager who would comfort and console you would come? Shim Naru, who realized that it was me, turned his head with a disappointed look.

‘Well… I’m sorry, but I think I need to use the vending machine.’

What do you expect from him? I’m annoyed, so don’t fidget and go away. I tried to console myself with a mental victory and put a bill in the vending machine.

Drrr-. Beep, bang… Degurururu… 𝒻𝓻𝘦𝑒𝓌𝑒𝓫𝓷𝑜𝓋𝘦𝓵.𝓬𝘰𝓂

As I pressed the button and the yellow sikhye came out, Shim Naru spoke to me nervously as if something was twisted in his mind.

‘You have nothing to say but that when someone is crying?’

Why are you picking a fight? I felt my pitiful heart drain away like a low tide and looked down at Shim Naru.

If I had a chance to face Cheon Ise before he died, would it have felt like this?

He must have had his own hard times, of course. He felt that his own misfortune, which was only as big as his fingernails, was the biggest in the world, and he thought that everyone should revolve around him and sympathize and comfort him.

He must have been successful as a celebrity from a young age, and everyone would have paid attention to him. He must have been like Cheon Ise, who complained arrogantly, ‘Why doesn’t it go the way I want?’

‘Did I make a mistake to you, Mr. Naru?’

I tried to be considerate and avoided saying ‘Did you leave it to me?’.

He frowned his pretty face in an instant.

‘Did you come to mock me for how pathetic I am?’

Why would I… do such a bothersome and unnecessary thing… Anyway, the people who think that the world revolves around them are the problem.

They have too much self-consciousness and jump to the conclusion of persecution.

People in the world are not as interested in other people’s failures as they think. Of course, the people who talk about it will keep talking as if they had caught a good bait.

No, it’s not all like that. I licked the end of my lips and answered Shim Naru as if to tell him not to misunderstand.

‘It’s not that.’

As I awkwardly picked up the drink from the outlet, I saw Shim Naru’s face stained with resentment.

What does he have to be wronged about? High risk high return. He should have done well if he pushed himself with overconfidence beyond his level. He should have known that he would be ridiculed and treated badly by the cast members inside, even if he avoided the disgrace with the cover of the production team.

I was also tired of doing group assignments alone, so I was quite upset by the risk worries.

‘What’s not that. You look like you think I’m pathetic.’

‘…’

Did I show it on my face? I avoided his gaze and answered. He seemed to be aware of his own situation, so I didn’t see the need to sugarcoat it.

That seemed to be his poison so far.

‘A little bit…’

He snapped at me with a raised voice.

‘Isn’t this the time to lie, even if it’s a lie?’

He must not have tasted the bitterness of life yet, seeing how he still had the energy to get angry. I pulled the tab and opened a can of sikhye, taking a sip.

Ah, the sweet drink filled my dry mouth and made me feel alive.

‘Do you need consolation?’

I didn’t want to argue with this guy. I asked in a dry voice, but he frowned, not liking my response.

‘Is that all you can say?’

It’s not that I can’t. It’s more like I don’t feel the need to. He was young and inexperienced, and couldn’t judge the situation well. And it was partly the fault of the adults around him who had pampered him and found him cute.

‘I honestly think you got what you deserved. I can’t say anything nice to you.’

He had been greedy for the spotlight, and made a mistake. He had to pay the price for that. That was responsibility.

‘Ugh…!’

He glared at me, as if to tell me to get lost. I decided to open the mouth of truth, since I was already meddling in his affairs.

‘You took all the spotlight, but you messed up. You have to take the risk for that. That’s responsibility.’

He couldn’t argue back, but he bit his lips in frustration.

‘Why did you do that? You knew you weren’t good enough to go solo.’

I felt like I had to open a counseling center for him. I looked down at him, wondering why I was getting involved in his business.

He chewed his lips for a while, then answered.

‘I have to… do better than others.’

So what? I didn’t know the situation of his team. They didn’t seem to be so dependent on him, or lack confidence in their skills.

This was just my guess, but maybe they let him have his way because he made such a fuss. Maybe they said, fine, you’re so great, we’ll let you win.

I shot back.

‘Why?’

His expression became even more pitiful. He looked like a madman on the subway.

‘Isn’t it obvious? I have to win, and get attention, and be the best.’

‘So what?’

No one can win every competition. Even if you’re lucky, you’ll encounter some setbacks sooner or later.

Even if you work hard and diligently, you might face a wave of bad luck and sink like a ship.

‘No one can win every competition. No one can get a perfect score in every field. What matters is whether you did your best and achieved a satisfactory result. Always being the most noticed and winning is a meaningless obsession.’

He couldn’t say anything back, but he didn’t like it. He licked his lips and whimpered.

‘I don’t want to hear that kind of righteous talk. You don’t even know.’

I don’t know why these guys from Floss treat Cheon Ise as if he had never faced any hardship or crisis in his life. They seemed to have a collective inferiority complex towards him.

‘What do I not know? I’ve been through much harder things than Floss, who had a smooth start with their debut single.’

I sneered at Shim Naru, who was looking down at me. His face turned red with anger and he raised his voice again.

‘I hate losing. I hate being ignored and disrespected! That’s why I want to win! I think it’s natural to win! Do you know how stressful that is?’

No, I don’t. I’ve never felt that winning was natural. I asked him calmly, without being affected by his words.

‘Do you think you’re worthless if you don’t win?’

Shim Naru flinched and shrugged his shoulders, snapping at me.

‘No, I don’t!’

‘Then why do you have to stress yourself out and take risks to get the most attention?’

He countered my question with another question.

‘Isn’t it obvious that the center is important? You’ve always been the center too.’

Shim Naru tried to catch me on a technicality, sounding defiant. I smiled sarcastically and replied.

‘Oh, did you check out our album? I thought you wouldn’t care since it was such a flop.’

‘No, I didn’t!’

Then he muttered weakly after a pause.

‘Sir.’

He had spoken to me informally, only to realize belatedly that I was five years older than him.

‘Think about it slowly. I understand that people have high expectations of you because you’ve been successful since you were young. But that’s their problem, not mine. There are so many people who are better than me in this world.

‘You always win, no matter what. You need some time to think about how you can succeed even if you don’t win.’

I waved my hand briefly, as if to say I had to go, while my phone rang and interrupted me.

It was a call from the person who had ignited Shim Naru’s inferiority complex, or whatever it was.

‘Hey, I’m on my way back.’

“Yeah, the manager asked me to call you and see where you were.”

‘What about the other members?’

“They’re in an interview.”

I hurried to the set. I had said what I wanted to say, so now it was time to focus on my own work.

When I returned to the shooting site, it was just my turn. I was relieved that I wasn’t late. I finished a brief interview and was about to leave when Shim Naru entered the studio door.

From that angle, he could have run into me… but he quickly turned his head away.

Now, Lee Hwijin had to take him to the third mission.

I was satisfied with the result I had achieved, despite all the twists and turns. I had scored better than I expected. I hugged it to my chest and headed to the dorm.

‘Shim Naru must feel like I’m rubbing salt in his wound.’

I regretted it a bit later. I hoped I would have a chance to talk to him someday. But if he was the type who wouldn’t listen anyway, he would just keep doing what he wanted.

He wasn’t even on our team, so that was enough meddling from me. I nodded to myself.

With a clear mind, I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. I recalled the moment of the ranking announcement for today’s shooting.

[Second Mission Result]

1st place

Everyone, including our kids, opened their eyes wide, as if they couldn’t believe it. That moment.