Second Try Idol

This content is taken from 𝐟𝗿𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝗯𝐧𝗼𝘃𝐞𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝐦

‘Ah, is this perhaps the afterlife?’

It was calm, quiet, and warm. I wondered if I had ended up dying miserably after struggling and enduring so much in life. If there really was a god in the afterlife, I wanted to grab him by the collar and demand an explanation. Why the hell did he crash the plane when all I had wished for was to return to the past?

Crazy bastard.

“Go back... go back...”

“What is wrong with him? Why is he talking in his sleep like that?”

‘What?’ I opened my eyes wide at the familiar voice. ‘Where is this?’

Ignoring the gazes of my ex-colleagues who were looking at me, I looked around. Then, a sudden chill coursed through my body.

‘Am I... in a car?’

'What? I'm not dead?'

Was this a dream? Or was the plane crash a dream? There seemed to be no discernible link between the current situation and my memories. Meanwhile, the sharp gaze of my colleagues, especially Goh Yoo-Joon's...

"Goh Yoo-Joon?"

"What?"

"...Hey, why are you here?"

"What are you talking about? Are you out of your mind?"

Why was Goh Yoo-Jon in front of me? And why was he looking so young? I clearly recalled the plane spinning out of control and crashing.

Had he undergone some procedure to look younger? He appeared much younger than the last time I’d seen him. His temper also seemed worse.

‘Is this a dream? Is heaven a place that shows me what I wish to see? Or did I somehow survive the plane crash? No, that’s almost impossible.’

If I had survived a plane crash, I'd be in a hospital, not sitting in a car with the ex-colleagues I hadn’t seen all year. Moreover, my entire body was perfectly fine, without a single scratch.

When I pinched my cheeks, Goh Yoo-Joon turned his head away, definitely annoyed.

"Ouch!"

The pinch stung. After that, when I slapped my face and pinched my thigh, it hurt like crazy.

"Hyung, what kind of dream did you have? You kept saying, 'go back, go back.’"

I couldn't answer Lee Jin-Sung's question. Had I been dreaming? Actually, this situation felt more like a dream.

"Hyun-Woo, what's wrong with you? You've been acting weird."

As the traffic light switched to red, the car came to a halt, and the manager looked at me.

‘Gosh. ...Oh my god.’

"Hyung, your hair..." I pointed.

"Huh? What about my hair?"

"You have hair..."

Now that I thought about it, he seemed to have shed some weight since I last saw him, and his skin looked better too. Hearing my words, the manager frowned and my ex-colleagues started to laugh and tease him.

"Hey, I told you to stop making fun of me! I've been worried about my receding hairline!"

"What are you talking about? It's been receding for the past two years.... Did you get hair implants?" I asked.

In truth, the last time I saw him, the top of his head gleamed because of baldness. My comment triggered a burst of laughter from my former colleagues, and the manager, face turning red, gave us the middle finger.

"Why are you talking nonsense? It's not noticeable yet! Something's off with him today. Put him to bed when we get to the dorm."

"Okay."

No, this situation was weird. All four members, whom I had rarely seen since I quit training, had black hair, and they all looked strangely younger. Moreover, their eyes and the way they spoke were as familiar and comfortable as before, and even the manager had not lost his hair yet.

I had been in a plane crash, so this had to be a dream, but the pinched cheek still stung so vividly.

The car came to a halt. novelbuddy. com

"Good job, everyone. Now, get out and take some rest."

"Yup."

The members started to get off one by one. Pushed by Lee Jin-Sung, I got out of the car. When I checked the surroundings, I frowned again.

"This... is Korea. What about New York..."

"Huh? Why are you suddenly talking about New York?"

"No, my mentees’ concert..."

‘What is going on? Did I miss something? Why am I here?’

Lee Jin-Sung tilted his head in confusion.

Goh Yoo-Joon passed by and said, "Jin-Sung, just drag him inside. He's acting weird today."

"Well, the training was tough."

Joo-Han backed up Goh Yoo-Joon's words. It seemed like they found my behavior quite weird as they kept saying that I acted strange.

"Ah, I always have to drag him. Hyung, aren't you coming?" Lee Jin-Sung asked with an annoyed look.

‘...Is Jin-Sung annoyed by me?’ But hadn't Jin-Sung been the one taking such good care of me after the incident?

I almost felt dragged as I headed to the dormitory. Yes, even the dormitory itself seemed strange. I had heard that they had been living separately since they renewed their contracts, but this was the same villa where we, as trainees, had once resided and crammed with about fourteen people.

Moreover, there were no fans lingering around the villa. It felt as if, unbelievably, I had gone back to the past.

"Hey, why did you bring me here...?"

"Good night."

With a forceful push, Lee Jin-Sung shoved me into the room and left. What on earth was he thinking?

"The room looks the same as it was back then."

Two bunk beds and piles of clothes with a musty smell occupied every inch of the room, leaving no space to move. I absentmindedly scanned the room and suddenly froze, my eyes locking onto a reflection in the mirror on top of a dresser. It was a face both unfamiliar and hauntingly familiar.

For a long while, I stared at the reflection and then took a step closer. As I moved, the reflection in the mirror also drew closer.

"What is this..."

The face staring back at me was clearly my own from five years ago, or perhaps even earlier, prior to the burns. I touched my face and felt around for the rough scars. However, they were gone, and the same was true for my hair.

While still looking at my reflection, I instinctively reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

'A flip phone.'

It was a spare phone I used to discreetly carry during my trainee days when smartphones were prohibited. I slowly started to piece the situation together. Upon flipping the phone open, the date and time were displayed.

"Of course."

The date was from a distant past.

The next moment, I burst into laughter and couldn’t resist giving my cheek a hard slap.

"It hurts. It really does."

It wasn’t a dream. The abruptly severed memories weren’t a product of my imagination. I had truly returned to the past. It was a chance to get rid of the regrets I carried.

***

I scoured through my phone and came to realize that I had gone back in time about six years—two months or so before the lighting accident. It was a time when all the trainees were on edge, wondering who would make it to the debut lineup.

Back then, I had been preoccupied with choosing the safest song due to my ambiguous ranking in monthly evaluations. Though I wasn't necessarily lacking in skills, I often opted for familiar songs and dances, eventually scoring a spot in the debut group. However, the final evaluation not only determined the debut group but also the positions within it.

As I lay on the bed, contemplating my future, the door swung open, and Goh Yoo-Joon peered inside.

"Suh Hyun-Woo, are you sleeping?"

"No, why?"

"Come eat, dumbass."

Goh Yoo-Joon approached and started to teasingly poke my thigh.

"Hey! Stop that."

"Get up."

The playful tone in Goh Yoo-Joon’s voice was evident. I giggled and, like any high schooler, reached out to grab his ankle and playfully punched it. It had been a long time since Goh Yoo-Joon and I had joked around like this.

Before the accident, we had been close friends, but after my facial burns, our relationship had become distant, marked by his cautiousness around me. If it weren’t for the accident, we would have been still joking around like this.

“Come eat, you two. I am going to clean it up soon.”

“Oh, okay.”

As I was joking around with Goh Yoo-Joon, Joo-Han hyung entered and gave us a scolding, just like he used to do in the past. Goh Yoo-Joon giggled at me as if it was my fault and then went to his chair.

As we sat down for a meal, the atmosphere was filled with nostalgia. While it felt good to reunite with them, being able to chat with them comfortably felt even more precious to me.

"Where are the others?"

"In the practice room. They rushed in as soon as they heard it was available. They must've been waiting outside," replied Lee Jin-Sung.

Upon reflection, it occurred to me that only four out of the fourteen trainees were left in the dorm. However, it was understandable. The limited practice rooms always led to disputes over access. We always had to play games of rock-paper-scissors to decide who would use the room first. The four of us had likely just finished our session and returned to the dorm.

As I ate, casually nodding at their conversation, I caught Goh Yoo-Joon staring at me.

"What?"

"You're unusually quiet today, Hyun-Woo. Just yesterday, you practiced dance moves even while eating."

Was that so? I laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, well, that upset my stomach."

"Are you practicing in secret?"

"Leave him alone, Goh Yoo-Joon. Don't pick on Hyun-Woo," said Joo-Han.

Back then, I was never assured of my position. After all, the debuting group only had five spots, and I hovered between the fifth and sixth ranks. My middling rank was perhaps due to my conservative song choices, but now was not the time to showcase my vulnerabilities. During this period, comradeship had yet to develop between us, as we were considered competitors. My nervousness would somehow provide them with relief.

Picking up on my mood, Joo-Han asked, "You seem off today. Not feeling well? Or is there something else?"

"No, but I do have a favor to ask."

"Oh?"

I had been thinking about the debut audition ever since it was mentioned.

"I want to change my song."

***

My mindset had undergone a transformation from the version of myself who lacked confidence. Regret had transformed into ambition, and my skills had improved immensely during my time working as a trainer. I was now confident to tackle songs I had once deemed challenging.

I hummed a tune softly, making sure none of the members could hear me, as I rifled through my drawer.

'I'm sure I left it here.'

My lack of organization back then made it hard to recall its exact location.

Back then, I had taken the safe route, debuting with a song I was confident in. However, this safe choice led to a less-than-ideal position within the group. After all, the position of a sub-vocalist was always on the corner of the formation, and I tended to stand out of the spotlight even during practice. Even so, I wasn’t the type to openly voice out my complaints, so I managed to maintain my position without any major issues.

Nonetheless, I often regretted things, thinking deep down, ‘I should have tried a bit harder.’ Well, after quitting as a trainee, I even cried and missed that position. But now that I had returned as a trainee...

“Ah, found it.”

I pulled out a transparent CD from the drawer. This signified a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me, as the CD contained a song that I had hesitated to pursue and eventually shoved into the corner of the drawer. A smile appeared on my lips. Since I had returned to the past, it wouldn’t hurt to be a bit more ambitious.