Stop Bothering Me, Emperor

Chapter 106 - Script

‘Golden Age of Jinghong’ was actually Qu Lao’s best work among his trilogy on the age of prosperity, since the Great Yu dynasty was particularly splendid and vibrant. However, because Emperor Jingyuan married his assistant minister of the Ministry of Revenue, no one had ever dared turn it into a film. That was because anyone with even the least bit of sense would know that the higher-ups wouldn’t approve it.

Seated on the plane, Song Xiao held the copyright agreement that his grandfather had signed and was silent for a long while.

“Don’t worry, zhen will help you.” Yu Tang held his hand under the blankets. Dayu’s influence in China was already beyond extraordinary; it wouldn’t be difficult to get this script approved.

“It’s fine, I have a plan.” Song Xiao turned his head and sighed as he looked at Yu Tang. “This servant was thinking, if it wasn’t because Grandpa Qu wasn’t willing to change the part about Empress Duanhui, this work would have been filmed a long time ago. I…”

“Nonsense.” Yu Tang frowned and immediately cut him off. “All of that is just excuses. What’s not fit to be seen about something recorded in history? They’re just scared of zhen’s accomplishments.”

Song Xiao’s eyes widened in surprise. “What’s there to be afraid of?”

“It seems too much like a fantasy. If it isn’t filmed well, the audience would say that it was made up.” Yu Tang proudly lifted his chin.

“Pfft —” Song Xiao couldn’t help laughing as the gloominess in his heart dissipated. In any case, he couldn’t be blamed; it wasn’t as if he had rushed to marry the emperor. Even if he had dragged down Yu Jintang’s reputation, this was the path both of them had chosen.

“Junzhu…” After joking around, Yu Tang suddenly looked at Song Xiao and slowly called his courtesy name.

“Mn?” Song Xiao looked over with curved eyes.

Yu Tang looked at him, but didn’t say anything else. His empress was so silly. Honestly, if they had to face the facts, he was the one who had implicated Song Xiao. This person had originally been a young genius. Even if Yu Jintang wasn’t the ruler, Song Xiao could have become an important official under any other emperor. However, this was the compromise Yu Tang had chosen between obtaining him and not damaging his reputation.

Song Xiao looked at His Majesty the emperor’s profound gaze, and smiled faintly.

It didn’t matter who implicated whom; this was a choice they had made together. In fact, looking at it another way, if he had become a minister, Song Xiao definitely wouldn’t be remembered for all eternity the way he was as Empress Duanhui, whereas Yu Jintang also wouldn’t have stood out from the multitude of emperors.

Because of her constant appeals, Qiu Mingyan’s case dragged on for half a year before a verdict was reached: Given the conclusive evidence and her awful influence on society, Qiu Mingyan was charged with ‘attempting to hire an assassin’, ‘coercing others to take drugs’, and ‘overdrawing on her credit card with malicious intent’, and was put behind bars.

Qiu Zheng went to visit her in prison. “Mom, who on earth is my real father?”

Qiu Mingyan covered her face. “He’s already dead.”

“Impossible,” Qiu Zheng immediately retorted. “You were a popular film star at the time, so how could you sleep with some random person? Tell me, and I’ll go look for him to support us.”

Accustomed to the life of luxury that Song Zicheng had provided, they had now been swept out the door. Qiu Zheng had sold the share, and her career was in complete shambles, so she wanted to go look for her biological father.

“If he was capable, why would I have to go so far as to rely on Song Zicheng?” Tears streamed down Qiu Mingyan’s face. She now regretted her past deeds. If she had treated Song Xiao better from the start, if everyone minded their own business and she peacefully acted as the Song madam, her career and popularity could have continued to grow.

Everything changed that summer when Song Xiao became clear-headed; it all slipped out of her grasp, and in the end, she fell into an abyss with no hope of salvation.

“You were too greedy; couldn’t you have just continued being a star?” Seeing that there was no hope of relying on her birth father, Qiu Zheng started to criticise Qiu Mingyan. Even if Qiu Zheng was an illegitimate daughter, Qiu Mingyan’s status in the circle wasn’t low, and no one had ever dared say anything. If she relied on her mother’s connections, Qiu Zheng would have become a popular young actress a long time ago. When would she need to mind Song Xiao’s mood?

“Isn’t it because you were always making noise about wanting a dad?!” Qiu Mingyan became angry and started to castigate her daughter as well.

The two of them blamed one another, and after a long argument, they parted on bad terms.

Song Xiao had already tossed this mother and daughter pair to the back of his mind. He was currently busy with promoting ‘Delicacies Fill The Palace Halls’, as well as the preparations for ‘Golden Age of Jinghong’.

The box office for a Hollywood film based on a Chinese novel, even if it was an awful movie, was generally a sure thing. It was because the people of China had always been patriotic like this. As long as it was something to do with their own nation, they would give it their all in support.

A month before the film’s screening, a trailer was released online.

In a grand and majestic imperial palace, a handsome regent sat on a throne as hundreds of officials congratulated him. The scene then changed as the emperor, who had left court to return to his palace, instantly turned into a fluffy, gold-coloured cat, which rolled around on the soft carpet. The vast contrast made viewers cry out repeatedly in surprise.

“Jiang Zhi’er, I made taiyaki.” The fair and adorable chef, who was the main character, carried over a plate of pastries and crouched down.

After that, the scene changed again to an imposing divine tower. A person dressed in a snow-coloured changpao stood at the peak and was deciphering the stars with his eyes closed. Resplendent moonlight turned into a complicated pattern which fell into his hands. This was the state preceptor, whose good looks were beyond compare. His red lips parted and he recited a clear and sweet-sounding prayer: “May the heavens protect Great An.”

For the domestic release, Xinghai Entertainment, as the company that had brought this movie over from America, didn’t invite some untrained celebrity to dub it, but found a voice actor who was famous in the animation world to do so. When the state preceptor’s beautiful voice sounded, the viewers almost choked to death in front of the screen. How many years had it been since they heard such a beautiful voice in a dubbed film?

The trailer came to an abrupt end here. Nothing of the storyline was revealed, but everyone had a vivid sense of how excellent the film’s quality was.

【Yingyingying, the state preceptor’s voice is so charismatic. I originally planned to see the English version, but now I’ve decided to watch the Chinese version!】

【Unexpectedly, there aren’t any broken frames; that really isn’t easy to do. This film should be watched a few dozen times just for this point alone】

【Jiang Zhi’er, aooo, my cat emperor ao ao, too moe】

It was no surprise that the Internet users were excited. Tickets for the film premiere were sold out, and basically no one could grab a single ticket even three days ahead.

The premiere was held at the largest cinema in the capital. Xinghai Entertainment arranged for the original author and the voice actors for the dubs to appear on stage, and invited the film emperor and empress that had a good relationship with Xinghai as well as domestic animation experts to the screening. The original author also invited her good friends from within the circle, namely, Little Butterfly Under The Moon and How Boundlessly Lacking.

Song Xiao didn’t go on stage. He wore a refined suit and sat in the first row with Yu Tang. He smiled faintly as he watched the creators describe the making of the film, and quietly waited for it to start.

The cinema fell into darkness. Then, with the beautiful sound of a guqin, a cat paw print appeared, and walked from one end of the screen to the other with the sound of a “meow”.

After that, an ancient city appeared in splashes of ink in the style of a static scroll painting depicting bickering peddlers, a red marriage palanquin, and a hardworking fishmonger on the street. It then stretched out to magnificent palace walls, an exquisite palace, an ocean with great waves, as well as green bristlegrasswhich covered everything.

Each new scene was a painting, and writing in rough ink appeared before their eyes. This film used 3D technology, and the text was separate to the picture as it was magnified in everyone’s eyes. It then disappeared, like sand blown away by the wind.

After the captions, the scene cut to a simple and unadorned street. The static person in it abruptly started to move, and the colours also started to darken. Holding a scaling knife, the delicate and fair fishmonger skillfully gutted the fish.

One couldn’t help but feel deeply moved. In terms of large-scale animation productions, Hollywood’s technology was much more advanced than China’s. The movements were smooth, and the expressions were also just perfect.

The story started from when the fishmonger decided to sell roasted skewers, and he later encountered a fluffy, gold-coloured kitty. Taking the kitty in as family, he served it with all his heart. Later, he entered the palace by chance and became His Majesty the emperor’s private chef, and the state preceptor also took a fancy to him.

“Ever since I saw you, I knew that you were very suitable to be an offering.” The clear and cold voice sounded like it was from an ancient time, distant and mysterious. His white changpao fluttered despite the fact that there was no wind in the serene yet slightly creepy tower.

The fishmonger was scared witless and took several tumbles over the ground. These were exaggerated movements typical of an American film, and looked rather comical. Everyone couldn’t help bursting out in laughter.

The graceful state preceptor pushed open the door to the offerings storehouse to reveal a glittering and blinding line-up of small dried fish, and the audience became just as thoroughly dazzled as the fishmonger.

No one’s attention wandered throughout the entire movie, and everyone was fully concentrated on it. There was a particular charm in depicting ancient China using American techniques. At the end of the film, during the war on the East Sea, an exaggerated pirate style was used, and the audience nearly split their sides laughing.

The story then came to a spontaneous end after everyone defeated the sea monster.

“Ah, how can this be? Isn’t there anything after?” Those who had read the original work cried out on the spot.

Everyone was feeling regret that the film had come to an end, but the MC smiled and took the mic. “There’s an easter egg after this, please don’t worry.”

As a result, everyone patiently waited for the easter egg after the end credits. Chinese-style music also played during the end credits, and the song was a mix of English and Mandarin. After the end credits, an enormous cat appeared on screen, its fur almost spilling out of the screen. The camera lens zoomed out to gradually reveal the large cat’s entire body.

It was a cat as large as a room, with kittens of various colours and sizes crawling here and there on its body.

“Imperial granduncle, is there a fish as big as this in the East Sea?” A round and plump kitty crouched on the big cat’s head and pawed at a long fish.

“Meow?” The large cat raised its head for a look, but still couldn’t see it.

A few of the especially tiny furballs were playing hide-and-seek in the large cat’s fur on its back, and some also hugged its large tail and used it as a swing.

“Alright, alright, everyone stop moving. Let’s take a family photo.” The protagonist’s voice rang out from the screen, and all the furballs squeezed onto the top of the large cat’s head, shoving and jostling each other.

“Click!” The scene froze on everyone pushing and squeezing into the frame. Only one ear could be seen of the small plump cat that was squished at the very bottom, while the snow-coloured state preceptor cat that stood at the very top was the most graceful.

“Ah — satisfied!” The people in the cinema all felt utterly moved. Song Xiao smiled and gave everyone who had come to the premiere the tie-in dolls.

After the premiere, a lot of celebrities revealed the kitty dolls that they received. Everyone had a different one. Some had the gold-coloured emperor cat, some had the multi-coloured imperial granduncle cat, and some had the snow-white state preceptor cat.

【Asking to be hated ah, ahhhhhh! I really want it, wuwu…】

【I want the state preceptor, I want the state preceptor, I want the state preceptor. Important things have to be said three times!】

【Male god, I’ve decided to give up on you. Hand over the state preceptor cat, and we can still be friends!】

The response was unanimously positive, which caused the box office to climb higher and higher, and the tie-in dolls sold out.

Song Xiao grinned as he looked at the profits every day. His mood was good when he earned money; he even forgave the emperor who had come over to bother him while he read the reports, and even gave him a resounding kiss.

The dolls weren’t sold on their own, and could only be bought with each movie ticket. Everyone worked hard to collect a complete set. At this time, Yu Tang posted a photo on his blog.

The backdrop was a beautiful, dark blue carpet, and a dozen or so kitties were arranged on top of it. They were in various sizes, but the most eye-catching thing was that behind these kitties, there was also an imperial granduncle cat that was large enough to be a bed. There was no caption for the image, merely a proud dog face.

The Internet users who loved being lively now had a habit: When they saw Yu Tang publish a post, regardless of the content, they paid their respects first.

【Wishing Your Majesty hundreds of blessings and riches — what’s this?】

After everyone paid their respects and clicked on the photo, there was only…

【Ahhhhhh, he’s asking to be hated very badly!】

【Your Majesty, you’re so cocky, does His Majesty the empress know?】

【This huge cat, it’s not even on the market, ahhhh!】

【Delicacies has already been filmed, Your Majesty — when are you going to persuade the empress to film Xiaotang Under The Moon ah?!】

Seeing the rows of “ahhhh” online, Yu Tang closed the webpage, pleased. He reached out to pull Song Xiao, who was reading the manuscript, into his embrace. “You also upload a photo ba/”

Yu Tang hadn’t wanted anyone to see his treasure in the past because he was afraid that some people would hurt Song Xiao. It was different now, and the times had changed. Internet users now were friendly, and urged them to get together every day. Yu Tang especially wanted to show off to everyone that such a beautiful person was his wife of two lifetimes. No one could snatch him away, and no one was as blessed as Yu Tang.

Song Xiao glanced at the emperor. “I don’t have any photos of myself.”

“I do.” Without further ado, Yu Tang took out his handphone and sent him a few.

“When did you take these?” Song Xiao was astonished when he saw the exquisite composition and perfect lighting in the photos. There were pictures of him drinking tea, approving documents, reading the script, and even one of him asleep.

“Dugu An took them.” Yu Tang pointed at the photo of him reading the script and indicated that Song Xiao should post that one. As Song Xiao didn’t like to take photos, Yu Tang had Dugu An carry a camera on him at all times. When he saw his wife’s beautiful appearance, he would have the secret guard quickly take a photo. This was like the feeling of raising an adorable pet at home and being unable to help capturing a photo of its cute appearance.

Actually, Yu Tang himself had taken a lot as well, but none of them were as good as the ones Dugu An took, so he quietly admired them on his own.

Pestered by Yu Tang, Song Xiao had no choice but to post a photo: Did everyone like the film? We’re currently preparing for a TV series, can everyone guess what?

Below was a photo of the young chairman reading a script. The light blue, long-sleeved shirt was buttoned up fastidiously. That delicate and handsome side profile seemed even more enchanting in the sunlight. Most importantly, those slender and fair hands were holding a script in black and white.

Little Theater

‘Advertisements Give People A Headache’

Xiaoxiao: We hope that the author can cooperate in promoting the new work

Huangye Wanhe: Ok ok, how do you want me to cooperate?

Xiaoxiao: Just sign an authorisation form, and the advertisement will be broadcast on the main streets

Huangye Wanhe: Ok ok, broadcasting on the main streets can raise its fame ne

Advertisement: Huangye, you bastard, running away with sister-in-law. Now we have no choice but to turn the script into a TV show

Huangye Wanhe: …

Baobao Notes (Edit)

If you came back to reread, surprise! As an animation student, I was worried I would spread misinformation even though I was rather frustrated over the ‘broken frames’ issue, but I did find a twitter link that succinctly explained everything I felt in one minute. So linking it would be a catharsis for me. Here’s the link.