The Abandoned Empress

Jiun shuddered, watching the old man replying casually that he would convey her request to the marquis. She felt not only the marquis but also the successor and the butler of the Monique family were all heartless men without any emotions.

Was it because she threw tantrums? That evening Jiun was visited by the marquis that she really wanted to see. She was a bit embarrassed because she thought it would take several days to hear from him. The marquis appeared with an expressionless look and asked coldly before she organized her thoughts, “I heard you wanted to see me. Why?”

Seeing him face to face, she got nervous, but she geared up for confronting him, thinking she had been under great stress these days. It was clear that if she failed to speak out, she would end up with nothing.

“I asked to see you because I wanted to ask one thing. What exactly do you want me to do? Do you want me to commit suicide?”

“Why do you think so?”

I felt frustrated at his asking coldly, but she spoke out, controlling her anger. Given his attitude, she felt he would beat around the bush unless she gave it to him straight.

“You were generous to save my life, but I want to know why you are so mean and cruel enough to harass me like this. Not only the butler but also the servants and the knights have been monitoring me and now they don’t allow me to go out of the house. Are you going to kill me by stressing me like this?”

“Don’t you know you were ordered not to go outside?”

“Oh, yes. I admit that I ran into Sir Carsein. But I never intended to see him. And he didn’t find out who I was. Wasn’t it enough? Why are you so bent on stressing me?”

“Are you serious you don’t know the reason?”

When she noticed his straight silvery eyebrows wiggling as if he felt displeased, she got so mad. She thought it was her, not him, who had to show anger at this moment.

“You’re really driving me nuts. If you want to kill me by stressing me out, kill me now! Why are you so mean to me? Why didn’t you kill me from the beginning as you intended to treat me like this? Are you satisfied when you have to treat me like this? Don’t you know I’ve saved your daughter’s life?”

Breathing roughly, Jiun stared at him. She didn’t like Aristia who left the bottle behind, saying she didn’t want to see her dying right before her eyes, and her father who was playing the fool with her and stressing her by confining her to the house.

However, even after seeing Jiun’s anger exploding, he raised his eyebrows a bit, but showed no feelings at all. He might have been offended by her insults, but he looked at her indifferently and said a little later, “Hmm, it seems that I didn’t explain to you enough.”

“… ? ”

“Well, let me explain in detail from the first. First of all, what the emperor wants is Lady Jena’s official death. Therefore, the fact that you are alive should be kept secret until the political situation in the empire is completely stabilized. Do you understand? ”

She felt a little uncomfortable because she thought she was taken for a sucker, but she nodded silently. She thought she should listen to him first.

“Good. Let me move on. I think I know how you’re taking this situation right now, but if the emperor had intended to kill you, he would not have let you out of the border from the beginning. Don’t ever think he let you out because of the empress. In that case, I would not have taken pains to come here to monitor you like this. I would have killed you instead and simply reported to the emperor that I had let you out. Got it?”

“…”

“It won’t take long. Just hang in there for five years. By then, those who know you may not remember you anymore. Then, I’ll set you free.”

“…Really? ”

When Jiun asked, surprised by his unexpected words, he nodded with a blank expression.

“Yes. I promise that under my name. But there is one condition. Until then nobody should find out your identity. Actually, the emperor decided to save you on this condition from the beginning. Got it?”

“Yes sir.”

“Keep it in mind. If you don’t satisfy this condition, I have no choice but to take your life because you are not the only one who gets in trouble when they find out your identity.”

“Oh, I see.”

When she hurriedly replied as if she felt a prick in the heart, he asked coldly, “Good. Do you have anything more to say?”

“… No, nothing. ”

“Good. Hopefully I won’t see you again.”

“Yes, sir. Thank you. Please forgive my rudeness a little while ago. ”

“I’m glad you realized it.”

The marquis paused for a moment, then walked away without saying anything.

After she fixed my eyes on his silvery hair, which resembled Monique’s, for a while, she slowly reflected on what he said after he disappeared completely.

‘Five years.’

Five years could be short, but long. Anyway, she could be completely free after five years.

As the marquis made the promise under his name, obviously he would not eat his words.

If she faithfully satisfied the condition he set out, she had no reason to suffer from sleepless nights, worrying about when she would be killed.

Only then she began to feel his reassurances were such a load off her mind. Although she couldn’t go back to her original world, and although she could not live a splendid life again as a woman of the top-tier class, she thought that now she could take the break that she could never have during the past eight years. She was deeply surrounded by a deep sense of relief for the first time since she left the empire.

She reached out and grabbed the air slowly. The kind of life that she could live as her own without being compared to anybody else’s was within her grasp now. The freedom that she craved for, praying every night before she went to sleep, was just around the corner.

‘Yes, it’s only five years. I can live freely if I can hold out for the next five years well.’

After hearing his reassurances, she felt it took a lot of pressure from her chest. A smile came to her lips when she was turning around.

***

“Sir Carsein, Her Highness wants to see you for a moment.”

I stopped moving the quill suddenly, which caused some ugly stains on my daily journal.

But that was not important.

When I looked around, hardly believing my ears, I noticed a well-dressed maid. Given the color of her clothes and the tiara embroidered on the cuffs, she was certainly the empress’s maid.

Moistening my dry mouth, I asked her, who was lowering her head, “Her Highness wants to see me?”

Only

“Yes, she said she would like to talk to you for a moment before you leave as part of the delegation, so she said you should stop by her palace as soon as you called it a day.”

“Okay, let me come with you then.”

After handing over the daily journal to my colleague who was quick-witted enough to reach out, I followed her to the empress’s palace. Although it was not far from my office to the palace, I could gladly go there, but these days I had mixed feelings about her.

It has already been four months since she got married to the emperor, and half a year since her oath of blood was rejected by the emperor.

From the time I watched that scene that day, and from the time I saw the emperor crying and yelling while holding her who was dying, I keenly realized that I could no longer approach her. My heart ached. I felt heartbroken because I could not have the chance to confess my love to her even if I was rejected.

If I had known this, I would have tried to confess to her. Of course, I tried in one way or another, but if I had known my chance to confess would be missed for good by a twist of fate, I would have confessed when an opportunity came along instead of waiting for the right time.

I regretted it several times a day. It was heartbreaking that I lost her, but I felt more heartbroken that I could not show my affection for her. In the end, when she came to visit me when I was sick in bed, I agonized several times over whether to confess, but I parted with her instead of confessing. I knew I would be selfish if I did so, but I wanted to confess to her at least once, though indirectly, my affection for her that I had cherished for several years. For I felt only then I could have my aching heart comforted a bit.