The Abandoned Empress

“The empress is sick. Can you check her condition?”

“Really? Then I’ll ask you for a minute. Your Highness. What is ailing you? ”

“In fact, my stomach has been upset for the past few days. Just looking at food makes me feel nauseated, so I can hardly eat anything.”

“Then, may I check your body for a moment?”

“Sure, just go ahead.”

When I slowly nodded, the woman immediately checked my body here and there. Then, she asked me with an expectant expression, “Your Highness, have you ever felt you don’t like the food you used to enjoy anymore or felt nauseated at the smell of food?”

“Yes.”

“Then, are you sleeping a little longer than you did?”

“Well… Come to think of it, I think that’s true. Sometimes I fall asleep while working.”

“Does your mood swing often? For example, have you felt suddenly depressed or shed tears?”

“Yes, I experienced that.”

When I answered, thinking about what had happened before I came to the restaurant, the woman asked with a happy expression, “Finally, I will ask one more thing, Your Highness. When was your last period?”

“Period? Why are you asking that suddenly? Am I then…?”

I opened my eyes wide at the sudden awakening that I might be pregnant. The woman who nodded at me, said with a loud voice, when I hesitated to continue, “Congratulations, Your Highness! You’re pregnant.”

“Really? Did you say I am pregnant?”

“That’s right. I think the palace office didn’t check out your situation correctly because your period was irregular. Given your symptoms and pulse, it’s certain that you are pregnant. Congratulations, Your Highness! Congratulations, Your Majesty!”

“Congratulations, Your Highness! Congratulations, Your Majesty!”

The woman doctor, servants and maids offered congratulations all at once, but I could not say anything. Faced with the unexpected good news that I had been longing for, I just spaced out as if someone hit my head. Only my pounding heart was heard in my ears.

So, I’m pregnant now? Only a year ago wasn’t I stigmatized as an infertile woman by the noble faction?

Tears pricked my eyes suddenly. I couldn’t believe it. Although I heard from the imperial doctor that I could have a baby, I thought it would be very difficult to get pregnant. Above all, I had been poisoned for a long time. Besides, my mother, who had been poisoned like me, got pregnant only seven years after marriage.

Despite this adverse situation, am I pregnant now?

“Oh my God…”

My heart was getting full. Feeling an indescribable joy, I put my trembling hands on my stomach and quickly blinked my tearful eyes.

‘Thank you, my baby. Thank you so much for coming to me like this.’

I felt something like warm energy in my palm as if it conveyed my baby’s body temperature. Although the doctor was saying something to me with a broad smile, I couldn’t hear anything. For me now, it was even very difficult to calm down my thrilled heart.

The moment I took a deep breath to calm down my pounding heart, he suddenly came up and said in a warm voice, “Thank you, Tia.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Look, what did I tell you? Remember I told you that you could still have a baby, so you should not give up? Great! I thought you could make it. Wonderful!”

“…”

When I saw him pouring out words like a waterfall, a smile came to my lips in spite of myself.

I was very happy that as someone who was always rational, he liked my pregnancy so much. Perhaps the reason why I was so happy was not only because he was happy, but also because I was freed from the fear that I might not give birth to a baby who could succeed him. In some respects, he might be the one who was most nervous and worried about my infertility. He might have been distressed a lot because he could not reveal his feelings to me for fear I might be hurt.

When I thought of him who must have been distressed alone, I suddenly got choked up emotionally. So, I said with a wet voice, “What a relief! I’m so happy to live up to your expectations. Actually, I was very worried that I might not have a baby. You were, too, right?”

“…Tia. ”

“Thank you. You might have had a hard time because of that, but you have held out silently and gotten hold of me to the end without giving up. And…I thank you for being happy now.”

“What are you talking about? Who can’t be happy on a great occasion like this? It’s me who really has to say thank you. I wouldn’t have tasted happiness without you. ”

Tears sprang to my ears at his gentle whispering. Now, I had all my wounded feelings of the past healed. I felt so warm and cozy at his kind words.

Wait a minute! Come to think of it…

I was thrilled even more when I suddenly recalled something that I had forgotten for a long time.

On the eighteenth day of the eighth month in the summer of 965 by the imperial calendar, which was exactly today, I was killed at the execution stand, with so much regret and resentment buried in my heart. But on the same day today when I just turned 17, I found myself so happy, held in his arms. I was no more the old me who was not loved or welcomed at all. I earned his love and his baby now, smiling more happily than anyone else.

“Ha…”

When I felt my eyes were full of tears, I tightened my grip on his arms and hid my falling tears. The day of the nightmare when I lost my life suddenly turned into the day of life full of joy, which I had been dreaming of all the time.

“Don’t cry. You shouldn’t cry on a happy day like this.”

“I won’t cry, Your Majesty.”

“Oh my…just stop crying now. Your beautiful face is a mess with tears. As you will have a baby, you look like a baby now. Well, I still like you for that, but as the First Lady of the empire, please don’t give the people the impression that you’re a crybaby…Um?”

While he was trying to soothe me kindly, he suddenly stopped. I was wondering why he did so for a moment, then suddenly I came to realize that I was not in the restaurant, where there were also other people from the palace.

I was embarrassed. Right now in this place there were many others than us two. I was really dumbfounded when I imagined how they would think about us when we were overjoyed, expressing honest feelings to each other. What should I do when I bump into them in the future?

However, contrary to my concerns, there was not a single person except for us in the restaurant. It seemed that all of them left the place after quickly discovering that we were so happy because of my pregnancy.

Suddenly, I felt a great relief, so I sighed, smoothing down my throbbing heart. I didn’t know how long they saw us, but I was glad anyway.

He seemed to have felt the same way. He let out a sigh and said with a smile, “Indeed, every day is new to me if I’m with you. I keep discovering something about myself that I didn’t know. ”

“Same to me, Your Majesty. By the way, what should we do? It seems very awkward if we stay here. I’m embarrassed if I have to go out like this…”

“Well, let’s go out if you don’t have anything to eat. No, I think you should eat a little more. You have a baby now.”

“Um, but I can hardly swallow the food. Sorry, Your Majesty. I really appreciate your warm consideration.”

“Well, I understand. Don’t you want to eat anything? Just let me know. Let me tell the chef to prepare it even tomorrow if you give me the name of the food.”

I nodded slightly, then stopped with a smile. Suddenly, I wanted to play a joke on him when I recalled something, which I was also curious about.

“I don’t have an appetite for any food at the moment, but I’ve got one thing that I want to have. Can you give it to me?”

Only

“Anything you want. Tell me, Tia. What do you want to have? ”

“Well, that bunch of letters I was holding a little while ago.”

“Um? That bunch of letters? ”

While he asked back curiously, he suddenly blushed. Looking at me in embarrassment, who was smiling brightly at him, he said in a hesitant voice, “Um, do you really want them?”

“Yes, you don’t want to give them to me?”

“Well, I’m a bit reluctant… Can I give you something else, Tia? ”

“But I am curious about what’s in the letters… ”