The Demon Lord's Bride (BL)

"What...do you mean I..."

Val felt his whole body shaking. There was something ringing in his ear, the sound of hundreds of memory fleeting by—memories that did not belong to him. And when they stopped, he was watching a scene as if it was a video recording.

It almost made his heart stop breathing.

A memory of him, but not him, holding the Spear of Judgment, driving the point down into someone’s flesh. Someone so familiar.

Someone so dear.

His shaking eyes were getting blurry as he looked up, at the back of that familiar someone. The sensation...it wasn’t just his brain—his hand was forced to remember the sensation of stabbing into flesh...

Val clasped his hands over his mouth, feeling a burning sensation in his throat that threatened to come out in a choked gasp.

"Don’t play dumb, you human! What kind of devious trick are you—"

"Dal Caba!" the Demon Lord roared, pushing the green demon away with mana-fueled strength. "You shut your mouth and back off! That’s an order!"

Sliding back for a few meters from the Lord’s push, Caba looked up in shock. He was still surprised that there was a warmongering human priest in the demon realm, but why...why was the Lord glaring at him angrily as if he was doing something wrong.

"I told you that incident was my fault!" Natha swiped his hair back in frustration. It had been so long since he felt this agitated. Of all people, it had to be Dal Caba that found out.

Among his subordinates, Dal Caba was probably the most loyal; but that loyalty came with excessive stubbornness and near-fanatical view. Natha was everything to him, so his grudge toward someone who harmed his Lord ran deep.

This demon was one of the reasons why Natha couldn’t bring Val to Lord Castle right now, and he had decided to tell Caba last. But every calculation he made was thrown out the window right now.

No—this wasn’t the time to think about the future. Val wasn’t in a good condition right now. He better tend to the human before that sweet little head filled with useless worry.

But Natha hadn’t gone more than a step when Caba yelled out. "Why...my Lord...why are you defending that basta—

"Dal Caba," a cold wind blew, colder than the icy realm of sloth. "That man is my bride, the one who held my heart, so watch your mouth."

Caba found himself losing his voice, choking in the invisible cold held by the gleaming silver eyes, when the Lord added in that tone he used when he was furious. "I warn you."

"My...Lord?" Caba held onto his throat, trying to push words out of his mouth.

The Lord’s face was filled with cold fury. "Malta," the Lord called out, and almost instantly, the air distorted to form a dimensional rift. A demoness walked out, stared at the Lord, the shivering human, and then at Caba with a raised brow, before letting out a sigh.

"I shall escort him back, my Lord," she curtsied before walking toward the still-choking demon to drag him away.

"N-no...wai--itkh..."

Ignoring his subordinates, Natha swiftly came into the crouching, trembling figure on the ground. Grasping the pale and wet cheeks, he could hear Val mumbling in a shaky, broken sob.

"I’m sorry...I didn’t...hurt...I’m sorry..."

Natha lifted the man’s face, and his heart clenched in agony. Teardrops were falling out of the emerald eyes, no longer filled with lovely sparkles as they did a few minutes ago, but gut-wrenching anguish. He pulled the man into his embrace, holding tight, pulling Val back.

"No, sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault," he kissed the pale forehead, the wet cheek, stroking Val frantically in the hope of calming the man. "Don’t cry sweetheart—look at me, it’s okay, don’t be sorry,"

But even as those emerald eyes looked at him, they were unfocused and shaking. Val was trembling like a leaf in the wind, choking like he couldn’t breathe. "I’m sorry...I’m sorry..."

It was like that time when he told Natha about whose name he called during his second treatment—he was panicking. He was scared. His mind was in such a messy tangle that Natha couldn’t even sense any coherent thought.

Natha pulled the man closer, wrapping Val in his embrace, whispering soothing words gently, patiently. Since it was clear that the man was plagued with guilt and complicated feeling right now, there was nothing more Natha could do.

"It’s okay," he whispered sincerely, cradling the trembling body, caressing the shaking arms. "...I forgive you, it’s okay sweetheart."

There was nothing to forgive to begin with, but for someone who repeatedly said sorry in a daze, it was the most Natha could do to pull the man back.

Val clutched into his clothes with pale white fingers. Finally, there was a reaction—Natha sighed in relief. "Let’s talk about this after you calm down, mm?" he stroked the back that slowly stopped trembling, pressing his lips into the sorrowful temple. "Would you like that?"

Natha felt a slight nod against his chest, and he embraced Val a little bit tighter, whispering sweet things.

* * *

The memory that I received was of a human that had been observing Valmeier for days. It was during the years he did the mission of eliminating any scouts and spies sent by the demon realm.

What made him swing his weapon was that the spear told him the human was a creature in disguise. With the nature of his mission, Valmeier was quick to brandish his weapon against enemies.

When the disguised human finally approached him, Valmeier stabbed the man without warning, without question. The disguise came undone, and through Valmeier’s eyes, I saw Natha scrunched in pain, blood drenching half his body. freēwēbnovel.com

There were another two demons with him, but before Valmeier could make any move, Natha gave a signal to retreat, and the demons vanished. Valmeier thought they were just another advanced scout sent by the Demon Lord, and deemed it as something insignificant, which was why I couldn’t see it until the green demon’s words triggered the memory.

"I shouldn’t have approached you so casually when you were in the middle of a war with Wrath," Natha stroked my clenched hands, giving me his side of the story. "I didn’t think you’d know right away that I was a demon."

We were on the carriage, waiting for Zia and Angwi to go home. Natha had put our disguise back on, and carried me down all the way to the carriage on his arms like a child.

I did feel like a child.

I felt ashamed for reacting so strongly. I was scared. So scared and confused.

A part of me felt the absurdity of having to feel guilty about something that I didn’t do. And yet this body made me remember, made me feel like I was the one who did it, who drove that spear into his flesh and left that ugly scar, who brought out that pained expression on his face.

I hated it. I hated this.

"So you see, I was the one in the wrong. You don’t have to feel sorry about it, mm?"

I looked at him, who was kneeling in front of me, stroking my hand and my cheek so gently, and I loathed—I loathed the fact that he talked about Valmeier.

I loathed the thought that the one he met in the past was Valmeier.

I loathed the thought that the one Natha had feelings for was him.

I felt this ugly, nasty feeling for a dead man who I never met, who lend me a body that I enjoyed now. I should be thankful for it, and yet, right now, I hold nothing but contempt for him.

The moment I realized this ugly feeling called jealousy, my tears were pooling again, unbidden. I hated myself. I hated that I should feel this petty.

There was a part of me that wanted Natha to hate him for what he had done, for that injury and scar he inflicted. Just so I could feel that the affection he gave me was for me alone and no one else.

But should Natha despise him, would he come to like me? Would he help me at the start at all? Would I be able to enjoy the affection he gave me now?

I knew the answer to that, and it felt so painful, like my heart was being crushed with someone else’s bare hand. I tried to hold it in—this ugly, useless emotion. I tried to hold it in just like I used to do whenever I felt distressed, but it was exceptionally hard nowadays.

This me that was told it was okay to be greedy and selfish didn’t want to concede. Those emotions always tried to jump out before I could even suppress them and now, they just came out however they wanted.

"Don’t hold it in," the cold thumb that caressed my cheek brought my focus back on Natha. "I don’t like you blaming yourself, but I hate seeing you suppressing your feelings more."

As simple as that, the tears I tried to hold back were falling as if a floodgate had been opened. And when I felt his whole body envelop me in safety and affection that I didn’t deserve, I cried harder.

I realized how horrible of a person I was, when I got upset thinking that the one Natha harbored a feeling for was not me, but Valmeier.

When all this time, I was thinking about another man while he was in my presence too.

And yet, even after realizing how much I had wronged him, I still wanted him to comfort me, to embrace me, to not abandon me and to shower me with all of his affection.

The more he caressed me, the more he soothe me, the more I felt how ugly, how selfish, and how horrible of a person I was.

Still, I clung to him, crying my heart out, fervently wishing that he’d never let me go.