The Flower Dances and the Wind Sings

70.

Ercella’s heart was empty, just like the vacant seat Vicente had left. Ercella turned her head and dried her tears as she gazed at the stars in the night sky.

“You’re crazy.”

“…”

“You’re really crazy.”

“…”

“You’re so…”

Tap-

Hot tears formed and flowed down the sides of her face. How did this happen? Unable to release her resentment against herself, Ercella stomped the innocent floor with her shoes.

“Mother…” Like a crying child, Ercella wanted to look for her mother at a time like this..

‘Be happy, my daughter.’

The Marchioness, who used to lovingly stroke her hair as if she was very precious, flashed in her hazy vision. She was talking to Ercella with kind eyes.

‘Be happy, my daughter.’

Ercella smiled sadly.

‘You should’ve told me to be well. You should’ve said that everything will be all right, Mother.’

The Marchioness would have wished for her daughter’s happiness, but Ercella was not happy. She thought she was happy, but she wasn’t. She tormented and exhausted so many people. I’ve been living so selfishly. Her heart throbbed as she calmly admitted to the inescapable reality.

“Now…”

…What should I do?

What do I really do now? Ercella murmured in a dejected voice. What should I do? Beg him? I made a mistake, should I beg him to forgive me? She couldn’t see their future as if it was blocked by a high wall. A sense of despair poured over her.

When did it happen? In the past, she stood at the center of the world and believed that she could overcome any adversity.

But not anymore. The road that stretched out far away was full of obstacles and it was hard to jump over each one. She kept falling. She promised herself to get up even after falling down, but she would fall down again after rising up.

The cool night air drifted through every corner of her chest. Feeling cold, she swept her arms. As she almost began falling into despair, she let out a laugh.

At the sound of the terrace door being opened halfway, Ercella’s whole body froze. It was too early for Vicente to return. Then it must be someone else…

Naturally, she didn’t want to show her unsightly appearance to a third party. She broke into a cold sweat while the door was opening. Her heart was pounding.

‘Please…’

Ercella bowed her head and desperately prayed that the terrace door would close. Yet, without exception, the door opened completely. She caught the man’s shoes. As if giving up, Ercella’s gaze went up his long legs. Her pupils grew bigger, as she began to realize who the owner of the shoes was.

“Sir Juan?”

She spoke the man’s name before she could even process it. The person dressed in dark blue and looking at Ercella with a blank expression was undoubtedly Juan.

Why is he here? Then it occurred to her why he was dressed better than the other day. He attended the party at Garten in that outfit. She seemed to have guessed right that he might be an aristocrat. She had guessed it previously, but it was still fascinating to see him here.

Juan was still looking at Ercella with kind eyes, albeit with an expressionless face, and he seemed as perplexed as Ercella.

“As I thought, you were raised preciously.” Ercella smiled triumphantly as if she hit the mark. Nevertheless, Juan didn’t smile, and Ercella thought it strange until she realized her current situation.

“Did you see it?” She was referring to the commotion a while ago.

“Yes, somehow.” Juan looked awkward, dodging her eyes.

Ercella tilted her head because it was the first time seeing him like this. I suppose he’s embarrassed that he unintentionally saw it, but he’s acting quite awkwardly. You don’t have to do that.

“Then you must know who I am.”

“I should leave.”

Both voices sounded at the same time. Juan turned to look at Ercella as he was about to leave. A bitter smile hung over his lips, “Duchess Ercella of Bernhardt.”

“…”

“I just found out today.”

The voice sounded somewhat bitter, yet also suppressing something. Ercella looked at Juan in a cheeky manner and playfully folded her cerulean eyes. “What’s your name, Sir?”

The moment arrived when they would find out each other’s identities. Is it unfair to just not want her to know my identity? So he wondered, but Juan remained silent.

“You really aren’t going to tell me?”

“…”

“Sir?”

What’s wrong? Now that I see it, there seem to be cracks in his straight face. Unable to figure out the reason, Ercella was about to ask one more time.

“Madam, what happened..!”

The terrace door burst open and Adora strode in. Ercella was puzzled by this sudden appearance but soon recalled that she was her lady-in-waiting. Vicente must have called Adora because there was no one else who he could call.

Adora’s vehement movement stopped only after noticing Juan nearby.

“But that’s..?”

Just in time, Vicente entered behind Adora. With four people, the spacious place quickly became crowded. Adora looked at Juan and Ercella alternately, wondering what to do.

Ercella felt awkward. It was fortunate that she was married, otherwise, she’d become the main character of a scandal. However, even if she was married, this scene, where she seemed to be having a tryst with a man, was not a good image to see. All the more so in front of Vicente.

‘I don’t know which family he is from, so I can’t even introduce him.‘

As Ercella pondered for a while, Juan broke his silence, “Pleased to meet you, Lady. I’m the second son of House Robert, Juan.”

…Huh?

“I think I took the wrong way. There is someone waiting for me, so I’ll be on my way. I hope you have a good time with your company.”

The door opened and closed immediately. What just… Her thoughts were interrupted just as abruptly as they started.

“…Robert,” Vicente murmured. And urgently asked Ercella, “Did that guy harm you, Mother?”

Vicente was worried knowing how discomforting an existence Robert was to Ercella.

Ercella shook her head, “No…”

“Did he say anything harsh or uncomfortable?”

“No…” Normally, she would have happily accepted his concern, but Ercella couldn’t do it given the situation.

“I ask you one more time. Did nothing really happen?”

“He didn’t get the chance… And you just saw him being courteous.” Her voice was firm despite looking deathly.

Relieved, Vicente turned to Adora, without asking further questions. It was only then that Adora began to look carefully at Ercella’s condition.

“Madam, why are you here? You should be in the lounge.” Adora caressed Ercella’s eyes with a worried look.

Ercella replied sluggishly, “In this state…”

“Oh…” Adora understood her vague words. The Duchess, roaming the ballroom in tears— something that should not happen.

Adora took out the makeup kit she had hurriedly brought from the carriage. She had to quickly erase the remaining marks of wretchedness on that face. Adora braced herself, groaning, “I’m not good at makeup, but I’ll try.”

“Hmm…” Ercella responded to Adora’s anxious remark as quietly as a mosquito. After all, Adora was a lady-in-waiting who could not comb her hair properly and even scratched her scalp. Ercella was sorry for thinking so, but she didn’t have much faith in her.

However, it was also true that there was no other way but to entrust it to Adora. Ercella tried to be optimistic. How badly could she ruin her makeup? With a bit of positive brainwashing, Ercella waited for Adora to finish putting on her makeup. Suddenly, she thought of Juan unconsciously.

‘So he’s a Robert.’

She didn’t expect that the reason behind him hiding his family would be something like that. Even if it wasn’t in front of Ercella, it would have been difficult for him to introduce his family proudly to anybody. People who knew about Robert would’ve offered him sympathy or consolation.

The second son of House Robert, Juan.

When Ercella heard the name, she could see why she couldn’t associate him with Robert. She knew the name of the eldest son but didn’t remember the name of the second son.

Furthermore, Robert was a family of knights. Juan’s beautiful palms looked as if they had never held a sword. After graduating from Gracivan, he went to Rentua to study… Did he choose to become a scholar instead of a knight?

She could not know the details only through guesswork, but she seemed to have a rough idea. Suddenly, regret gnawed at her.

I should have known. If I had known, I would’ve pretended not to know him for both our sakes. She was born as a member of Visaride, who trampled his family; she had the audacity to shamelessly receive help from a Robert.

Her father pushed out Cecilia Robert, who was nominated as the First Princess Consort, and placed Eshahilde in her position. Had Cecilia Robert become the princess consort, she would have been the queen by now, and the Roberts would have been elevated to a position incomparably high by now.

Her heart pounded deafeningly. Does he now regret the kindness he showed me before? Perhaps. I would, too.

Robert.

The family that her father drove out, Caron trampled upon, and Harsen shoveled. Ercella was unable to remain unconcerned about this matter. Her heart sank heavily.

The discomfort piled up over time revealed its existence. It seemed to be deeply eroded by feelings similar to guilt. Suddenly, Adora brought her back to reality.

“All done.”

Adora straightened the crumpled dress hem and finally held out a mirror to her. “I only applied a little bit… Would you like to check it out?”

Ercella took a deep breath.

“Still, it’s not that weird!”

Not weird? Forgetting about Juan, Ercella stared at the woman in the mirror. The powder was too much and the different tones had been erased. Should she take comfort in the fact that the redness is gone?

“Thank… you.”

“Then, Madam, I shall take my leave first… Come back slowly with Milord.” Realizing that the thank you was not-so grateful, Adora slipped away.

“All… right.”

When Adora darted out like an arrow, there were only Ercella and Vicente left on the terrace again. An awkward silence ensued. She forgot her situation and let go of her anger. All sorts of anguish arose over how to deal with Vicente now.

Ercella thought of the magnificent ball going on inside. The banquet would be in full swing for the second half. But she didn’t want to be here anymore. She had no desire to have fun.

However, it was the Coming-of-Age party for a woman Vicente might get married to. In order to not upset the main character of the party, it would be right for them to keep their seats.

Ercella bit her lips feeling blue. Is it really better to do that? Vicente must want to be there. Even if it is as a courtesy to his future fiancée. I have no choice. So, Ercella tried to sound cheerful, “Shall we go inside?”

Her voice was cheerful as if she had forgotten what had happened earlier. She said it without thinking. He must hate it. Ercella gloomily glanced at Vicente.

It was then.

“No.”

“…”

“It’d be better to go home.”

His completely unexpected answer made Ercella look rather daft. She thought he must’ve made a mistake, but Vicente didn’t correct himself. Ercella blinked like a fool.

Vicente, who looked down at her aloofly, said in his usual tone, “As I thought, parties are flashy, loud, and uncomfortable.”

“…”

“So let’s go back.” He hesitated a little before continuing, “Mother.”

Then, Vicente held out his hand to Ercella. Staring at it, Ercella widened her eyes. For some reason, she felt like crying. She nodded while clutching the hem of her dress so tightly that it crumpled, “Yes, let’s go.”

* * *

Inside the rattling carriage, Ercella was staring into the mirror. She was very worried because the redness, which she thought had subsided, stood out around her eyes.

“No matter how I look at it, it’s clear that I cried.”

“…I’m sorry.”

“Adora, I’m not blaming you.”

This was a problem that could not be solved even by Lianne, let alone Adora. Nevertheless, Adora felt responsible and suggested to Ercella, “How about the Young Duke and I enter first to draw their attention, meanwhile the Duchess gets inside? Milord, will you help me?”

“…I will.”

Adora’s plan was highly likely not going to work. It was inevitable that servants would come to greet Ercella.

Vicente decided that it would be more effective to keep the servants’ mouths shut. As long as that one person doesn’t know. He can’t.

“Go straight up to your bedroom, wash up and retire to your bed. I will talk to the butler separately.”

Adora sure had the guts to believe that this would work even though Bernhard’s butler wouldn’t listen to a lady-in-waiting, who wasn’t even the lady of the house. But for Vicente, it was just a wild idea.

“We could do that.” Ercella didn’t seem to believe it was feasible, but she simply followed Adora’s opinion since there was no other alternative.

“But do you think your eyes will get swollen?”

“…I think so.”

“That’s tough.”

‘How will I face the Baroness?‘ murmured Ercella.

Adora tried to say there was a bigger problem than that, but she stopped. Ercella seemed to know that as well. Because her anxiety wouldn’t dispel.

“You’re pretty even when you cry,” Adora flattered her based on facts as if she was trying to ease her worries.

“Oh you,” Ercella smiled softly. “You can’t win against youth.”

“Goodness, you sound like a fifty-year-old lady!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Please.”

After that, they exchanged simple jokes. Vicente watched them with his chin on his hand. He closed his eyes thinking that it was a little noisy but all right.

* * *

The little scheme of those three failed as badly as it was sloppy. When they arrived at the doorstep of the mansion, the appearance of the two, hiding Ercella behind them, looked quite strange. In the end, three people had to receive the servants’ welcome side by side.

“Welcome back. Did you all have a good tim—?” Clifton’s words came to an abrupt stop. Although he did not speak like a butler who could understand his master’s heart, he seemed to be astonished by Ercella’s reddened eyes.

For a moment, Clifton wondered if the cause was the young lord. However, when he couldn’t spot a single emotion on Vicente’s face, his doubts only increased.

“Master is in the office now.” Clifton indirectly tipped Ercella the news that would help.

Adora and Ercella’s faces brightened. Adora winked as she went up, and Ercella gave a last look at Vicente.

“Then, Vi—”

Oops. Her voice definitely sounded like someone who had cried. Ercella cleared her throat with a cough. Taking a shallow breath, she spoke slowly in a lowered voice, “See you tomorrow.”

“…Yes.”

Perhaps even that was strange because Vicente had an uneasy expression on his face. Ercella hurried up the stairs, forgetting the people around her. Lianne, who had met her in advance, followed her.

Lianne was surprised to see Ercella’s face, but she didn’t express it and helped her mistress prepare to sleep.

Under Lianne’s supervision, Ercella was able to wash, change clothes, and prepare for bed. Her hair was still wet, but it was a luxury to even dry her hair at the moment. Ercella walked to the door to turn off the light, grateful that Harsen had not yet come up.

“…”

What terrible timing!

Ercella felt a sense of shame when she saw the tall man standing outside the door three or four steps away. Anxiety rose up her spine as if she was balancing herself on fine hair. Ercella narrowed their distance and welcomed him with an extremely radiant expression, “Oh, you’re here? I was about to sleep now. You should sleep too. Sweet drea—”

“Tell me what happened first.”

A sharp voice fell into her ears. Ercella pursed her lip so excessively that it began twitching. As I thought, he found out immediately. When Harsen said that with a weary face, it dispirited her, but Ercella was determined to keep her smile.

“What do you mea—”

“I’m too tired to argue.”

Ah, I guess it won’t do with just a smile.

“It’s not what you think it is.”

His black eyes, which seemed to be colored by the night, were cold yet not-so-cool. Ercella began to recede at once. Harsen watched the apparently futile escape. He didn’t budge at all, as if he wanted to see how far she could go.

The pursuit to escape soon ended when her retreating leg got caught by the bed corner. She could feel the texture of mahogany wood that had been well-polished through her thin nightgown.

Ercella flopped onto the bed. A shadow fell on her with his back to the light. Without realizing it, she looked up at Harsen, who was within reach of her hand.

“My neck hurts.” Ercella tapped next to her.

Harsen frowned slightly but sat beside her. Ercella looked at Harsen with mixed feelings. The two sets of eyes met at a close distance. Dejected, Ercella reached for his cold, hardened black eyes. Her slender fingers caressed Harsen’s eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

Ercella’s fingertips swept across his cheek while fiddling with his eyelashes. Her hand gently stroked his jawline, then tenderly brushed his cheek. However, while her temperature remained unchanged, the coldness in Harsen’s eyes gradually receded. Unaware of the change, Ercella was about to close her eyes.

“…You have a bad habit.”

Harsen lowered her arm in an abrupt motion. “I have told you that I don’t want any intentional contact.”

At that, Ercella flinched. His black eyes that captured the fleeting sight softened a bit, but the callousness did not subside. Ercella’s eyes fluttered incessantly.

That’s right. Come to think of it, I think I’ve heard this a few times. It was something he occasionally said when she laughed or hugged him, trying to avoid the situation she was in. It was a habit she wasn’t aware of herself. She didn’t expect it to become a habit. This wasn’t really a good thing, even she herself thought so. Ercella laughed bitterly at the ugly self that she constantly encountered.

“So who is it?” Harsen brought the conversation back to square one.

“At this age, you wouldn’t have fought with the Marquis like you used to. Did you have an argument with the ladies?”

“…”

“Or was it Vicente? Did that boy misbehave?”

“…You know he’s not like that.”

“Then what is it?”

It was a bad day. Ercella feared that if she continued the conversation in this mood she’d make another slip of the tongue. She had to get rid of her current feelings. Moreover, she didn’t want to confess anything.

People’s words lingered in her mind. Some were true, some were not. But those words were thorny enough to hurt her and Vicente.

She didn’t do it out of ill intentions. It was just to please Duchess Garten, who was at the top of the social world.

But that wasn’t the problem. Vicente now knows what sort of rumors surround me. How could I say that myself? I’ll be handing him my weakness, after all!

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then I’ll hear it from Vicente.” Harsen got up without sparing a moment to receive her flustered response.

Instinctively, Ercella grabbed him by the arm, using her full force to bring Harsen back down. For a moment, she was out of breath from exerting her power. Unlike usual, she missed her shot, so lost the strength in her arm. Ercella glared at Harsen with a wheezing breath, “You’re really…”

If you want to know, you can just ask your subordinates. Why do you want to hear from Vicente?

“You’ll be angry then and won’t let it go. I already told you. It’s not something to worry about. I only cried because I was a little sad, but I was embarrassed to say since it isn’t a big deal—”

“Isn’t one excuse enough?”

“When did I—”

Suddenly Ercella’s lips closed.

‘I read a novel.’

‘A novel?’

‘Yes, it was a love story between a noble lady and a commoner knight. Their breakup scene was so sad that I must’ve cried without realizing it.’

That was when she cried her eyes out after talking to Vicente in the back garden. When Harsen asked, she couldn’t bear to name Vicente, so she used the novel she had read a long time ago as an excuse. She wondered why he bought it so easily, but it seems he had fooled her. She blurted nervously, “Why do you know everything? Do I have any secrets left?”

“I feel uneasy if I don’t come to know.”

A soft voice rang in her ears. A pair of eyes that looked at her as if truly they could only contain her. Her melting heart ached. She clenched her hands, but the pain did not go away. Nervous, he says? He’s good at saying words that don’t make sense. She cut his words in a slightly oblique manner, “If you’re so curious, you should’ve come and seen it for yourself?”

“What—”

“I hoped you’d come. But you didn’t.”

Instead of tepid emotions, she poured her tangled, twisted and hot feelings on him.

“You didn’t come even to my Coming-of-Age party.”

You even attended the princess’s yearly birthday party.

Ercella tried to control herself as much as she could, stopping herself from blaming him. She blamed herself, sensing she had made a mistake. That’s why I didn’t want to talk about it…

Sixteen years had passed already. It was too late to bring up that grudge now. So, by now she was being completely childish.

In the silence, regret seeped in quickly. What she said had nothing to do with this conversation. She was merely venting her anger by revealing the grudge. As a result, she just increased the awkwardness that could not be easily resolved.

“So…”

Why the hell did I bring this up…

“What I mean, you went… No…not this.”

I should say I made a mistake… It was hard, as if her mind had gone blank. Even she thought that it was a shameful move. Ercella felt petty and crude. She clearly appeared crazy to him. Really, how old are you..?

‘Is he fed up with me?’

Remorse engulfed her heart. What kind of expression does Harsen have now? Is he disappointed? Is he annoyed? No, no. He’d just be stiffening his face as if he was a little tired. It may be his way of being considerate, but he wasn’t the type of person who could easily show such feelings.

However, at that moment that fact was useless, as a meaningless smile appeared around his lips. “I did go.”

Her slightly open lips froze. Ercella’s shoulders drooped as if he had ripped off her skin. Feeling her chest fill with emptiness, she moved her lips, “Liar.”

He shouldn’t appease her in this way. She really hated being played like this.

“Your name wasn’t on the list of attendees—!”

“The sky blue dress you wore was pretty.”

She looked at Harsen while being stunned.