The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Xie Cheng looked at the shy grass that he had raised for seven years, now cruelly destroyed by poisonous hands. In that moment, he suddenly realized why Xie Jing had brought this woman here.

Perhaps Xie Jing had finally grown impatient and was too lazy to keep up the surveillance. He changed his style and intended to anger Xie Cheng to death, eliminating trouble for the future. And fearing that he might not anger Xie Cheng enough, he had this woman appear in front of Xie Cheng's eyes repeatedly, even before she officially started work.

Furthermore, Xie Jing was clearly going all in this time, finding someone who would act completely unpredictably, so that Xie Cheng could not anticipate her next freakish move. All of Xie Cheng's usual tactics for dealing with Xie Jing's spies were rendered useless.

Xie Cheng stared at the bare flower pot, fury churning within him.

Meanwhile, the instigator's expression was full of self-satisfaction, as if waiting to be praised for her work. She continued to arrogantly display her vexing skills: "I can go pull out all the grass in the other floors of this building right away!"

Xie Cheng closed his eyes briefly to calm his anger. "You..."

Before he could say anything, Chen Jie, the general manager of the government affairs department, interrupted him.

Chen Jie held a stack of reports and pushed up his glasses. "Director Xie, we'll definitely need to add to the reception budget for my department. Just waiting for your signature to approve..."

His words were polite, but his tone was arrogant.

Xie Cheng knew that Chen Jie was one of Xie Jing's plants. That's why he had assigned Chen Jie to an insignificant role. f𝚛𝚎𝗲we𝗯𝗻ovel.𝐜om

The government affairs department was mainly responsible for interfacing with the government for research, receptions, and visits. It was a logistical department. The business-friendly environment in Rui City meant the government wouldn't arbitrarily conduct frequent research. But Chen Jie had abused his role, secretly spending the money on his own entertainment and meals. Then he shamelessly passed it off as "research reception fees." Before even reaching mid-year, he had already spent the entire annual budget. Now he brazenly came to ask for more funds.

Cao An stood behind Chen Jie, his expression ugly. "Director Xie, Manager Chen insisted on coming to see you."

Xie Cheng's face darkened. "Increasing the budget is out of the question."

Chen Jie refused to give up. "But what if there's a need for receptions..."

"The company cafeteria can arrange simple meals."

"But..."

"No buts. You can leave now." Xie Cheng said expressionlessly, "Or does Manager Chen want to discuss halving next year's budget with me?"

"..."

Cao An watched Chen Jie's retreating back worriedly. He lowered his voice, "Don't you think your attitude toward him was a bit too harsh? He's probably going to tattle to Xie Jing again and cause you more trouble."

Xie Cheng said coldly, "I think I was polite enough. Frankly, I should have told him to get lost."

Lan Xi pricked up her ears.

Although she didn't know the context, she could see that Xie Cheng and Chen Jie did not get along.

Xie Cheng seemed quite angry.

The workplace section of Guide to Conquering Earthlings said that people who can share their superiors' worries often excel in the workplace.

Think from the superior's perspective, share their concerns, and solve their problems. Take initiative to do the unpleasant or tiring tasks that the superior can't or doesn't have time to do!

Flattery knows no bounds. Although Lan Xi had just helped Xie Cheng pull out weeds, she decided to press her advantage while the iron was hot.

She dashed out after Chen Jie. Luckily he hadn't left yet, just standing at the emergency stairwell smoking. Hearing Lan Xi's footsteps, he looked up at her confusedly...

...Ten minutes later, Lan Xi returned to Xie Cheng's office—

"Director Xie, it's done."

Xie Cheng had been discussing something with Cao An and was interrupted by Lan Xi. He glanced at her impatiently, "You're still here?"

"I just came to report about my work. I'll leave after reporting."

Xie Cheng frowned, "What work? I didn't assign you any work."

"Chen Jie. Manager Chen." Lan Xi adopted a professional stance. "I just kicked him down the stairs."

???

Not just Xie Cheng, even Cao An who normally maintained a poker face, showed a dazed expression.

Xie Cheng raised his voice, "What did you say?"

"I just kicked Manager Chen Jie down the stairs."

Xie Cheng's eyes widened in disbelief. He enunciated slowly, "You, kicked, Chen, Jie, down, the, stairs?"

Lan Xi nodded proudly, "Yes!"

"Why did you kick him?!"

"Didn't you just say it would please you if he got lost?" Lan Xi helpfully explained, "He happened to be standing at the emergency stairwell and hadn't left yet. So I gave him a kick from behind. He wasn't paying attention and lost his balance. Sure enough, he tumbled down the stairs. Since his weight is on the heavier side, he rolled down quite quickly without stopping. I didn't even have time to react before he had already rolled down to the next floor..."

Here, Lan Xi smiled bashfully, "As your subordinate, it's my duty to share your concerns and solve your problems. I happen to have great strength after a full meal, so I just made use of my skills. Since you wanted him to get lost, I made sure he rolled away. "

Xie Cheng's expression was very complex. "He didn't come back to cause you trouble?"

"No, why would he cause me trouble?" Lan Xi didn't really understand.

"Because you inexplicably kicked him down the stairs!"

"It wasn't inexplicable." Lan Xi felt she had been very prudent, thorough and detailed. "Before kicking him, I told him that you asked him to get lost. So he knew the reason. He shouldn't cause me trouble."

"..."

**

"President Xie, you must uphold justice for me! Xie Cheng's female assistant deliberately chased me out of the office and kicked me down the stairs. She even arrogantly told me it was on Xie Cheng's orders..."

Ten minutes later, Chen Jie leaned on his waist and cried to Xie Jing.

However, this painful experience did not elicit Xie Jing's sympathy. He only gave two inscrutable, profound responses—

"Don't touch this assistant."

"She's one of us."

One of us?! Then why did she kick him down the stairs?!

After tumbling down the stairs white, Chen Jie was utterly confused. But Xie Jing was in an excellent mood.

As expected of someone highly educated. Her perceptiveness is outstanding!

Unlike those previous assistants he had planted by Xie Cheng's side who only knew to work by the book, Lan Xi was different. She took a completely different approach!

Even for Xie Cheng's outrageous idea of kicking Chen Jie out, she executed it without hesitation.

Despite it being only her first day on the job, she had already quickly gained Xie Cheng's trust, hadn't she?

Someone like Xie Cheng with a cold personality and guarded heart most needed an assistant who would obey his every command, not someone polite and restrained.

With this move, Lan Xi could swiftly make Xie Cheng look at her in a new light and close the distance between them.

This kick not only demonstrated her deferential attitude toward Xie Cheng, but also severed her relationship with Xie Jing and Chen Jie, drawing a clear line to show she was not Chen Jie or Xie Jing's person. Only then could she deliver this kick without the slightest hesitation, unafraid of offending Chen Jie.

And Xie Cheng, who casually ordered people kicked down stairs, was clearly not only unstable and irritable, but also arrogant and overbearing. This was completely different from the image reported by the spies he had previously planted.

Indeed, this was the real Xie Cheng! Those previous spies had been undercover for so long yet hadn't even scratched the surface of his true personality!

Whereas now, Lan Xi who helped Xie Cheng carry out such arrogant behavior was completely a sycophant by the emperor's side, unknowingly pushing Xie Cheng step by step toward the abyss of committing many unrighteous acts that would lead to self-destruction.

Brilliant. She was truly brilliant.

No wonder she could obtain so many certificates at such a young age. Her handling of matters and emotional intelligence completely crushed ordinary people by a hundred times!

This person was truly invaluable!

**

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng did not appreciate this "talent" Lan Xi the way Xie Jing did.

He hated unpredictable people and events. He did not look forward to surprises in life, and especially despised "shocks."

Upon learning that Lan Xi still had other onboarding paperwork not yet completed, Xie Cheng immediately sent her away like the plague.

"I don't know where your uncle found you. Your resume is outstanding but your actions are indescribable. Or is this some alternative mad routine to attract your attention?"

Cao An was still immersed in the aftershock of astonishment: “Or is this a strategy of winning without fighting, by kicking Chen Jie down the stairs but acting ignorant and saying it was on your orders, clearly trying to intensify the contradictions between you and Chen Jie? Was Xie Jing trying to make Chen Jie and you fight each other internally?”

Only now did Cao An realize where the intense sense of discomfort upon entering the office came from.

He looked at the bare office and said: “How come your floor’s plants are...”

“She kindly helped me weed them out,” Xie Cheng said expressionlessly, “She pulled them all out.”

“...”

Xie Cheng's mood had calmed down again, his voice was light: “Let's replace them all with cacti. The kind with the hardest and most thorns.”

“What about her then? How to deal with her?”

“No need to handle her specially. I gave her last year's entire year of Ran City's meteorological data files and asked her to organize and analyze them, then come report to me in person after finishing, before that, don't come looking for me. Based on the amount of work, she won't show up in front of me for at least a month.”

Driving away this one, the next might be even worse. Between predictable bad and unpredictable worse, Xie Cheng chose the former.

Out of sight, out of mind, that's all that mattered.

Cao An understood. Organizing and analyzing meteorological data archives was a huge project, the process cumbersome and tedious. None of the previous assistants had endured the hardship and loneliness, they had all ran away midway. He didn't know how long this Lan Xi could hold out either.

**

Lan Xi went through some more formalities with the HR personnel, then was assigned a dorm room. Thanks to Wang Zhiqiang's connections, she got a single room dorm, small but fully equipped. The company also provided canteen food and meal subsidies, even a clinic and gym, Lan Xi was very satisfied.

This working environment could barely match her princess status.

After earning money, she could start conquering Earth step by step.

Work hard for now!

The work ability she had initially displayed evidently soon made Xie Cheng look at her with new eyes.

Lan Xi looked at the tall stacks of data in front of her, recalling Xie Cheng's repeated reminders when assigning her this data archiving task.

"Focus on organizing and analyzing, don't come see me until it's done, don't come report other work, and don't be responsible for other work."

To this day, Lan Xi could still vividly recall his solemnity and seriousness when he said those words.

"What about after I finish organizing it?"

She clearly remembered his answer.

He swiftly reviewed documents on his desk without even lifting his head: "Come report to me in person immediately after finishing."

Being able to answer without hesitation showed the importance of this task in Xie Cheng's mind, so important that he had long planned every detail of the work flow.

Thinking of this, Lan Xi buried her head in organizing the data with renewed vigor.

As long as she ate full meals to replenish enough energy, the Mu Yi Star People didn't need to sleep every night like Earth people. Their data processing abilities also far exceeded Earth people's.

**

Xie Cheng heard the knocks on his door at 3am.

The door of the villa was banged loudly enough to shake the heavens.

Xie Cheng opened the door bleary-eyed and irritated, then saw Lan Xi's face -

"Boss Xie! I'm here to report work to you!"

In that moment, Xie Cheng vaguely felt like he was dreaming -

"It's still dark." He looked at Lan Xi expressionlessly, "Do you know what time it is now?"

"I know! 3:12:08!" Lan Xi's eyes were bright, not a hint of drowsiness, full of passion, "It's the time I completed the work you assigned! A time that can go down in history!"

The chill pre-dawn wind blew Xie Cheng, wearing only a robe, wide awake.

His face darkened: "So at 3am, why did you run to my door? Who sent you here?"

"You did!" Lan Xi was oblivious, brimming with zeal, "Didn't you say to come report to you in person immediately after completing the work? I called but you didn't pick up, so I came myself!"

Xie Cheng felt like his logic had been blown numb by the wind, he was stunned for a moment before recalling an important question -

His standalone villa had a huge yard, to get to his door and knock, one had to first go through the front gate.

Xie Cheng's front gate was made with heavy investment, not just bulletproof materials, even the door lock was specially customized, and only Xie Cheng and people very close to him knew the lock code.

Looking at Lan Xi in front of him, Xie Cheng felt the issue was somewhat serious, so who had leaked his door lock code?

He asked solemnly: "How did you get into the yard?"

Lan Xi replied matter-of-factly: "I just opened the door and went in!"

"Impossible."

Xie Cheng put on a coat and walked to the yard gate.

Then he saw his heavily invested gate - the edges of the gate had been warped, the door lock twisted off to one side, recounting the violence it had suffered...

Xie Cheng looked expressionlessly at Lan Xi: "What did you use to twist it open?"

"My hands!" As if recalling something, Lan Xi explained: "Oh right, your door lock was pretty tight, not easy to twist, took me 3-4 tries to get it open."

"..."

Under Xie Cheng's dumbfounded gaze, Lan Xi glowed vibrantly, full of work passion: "Can I come in and report now?"