The Loner Who Conquers the Other World

Chapter 255: Middle-Aged men needlessly burden themselves with various things in proportion to how long they live, making them incapable of fast travel.

Day 63 – Late Morning, Murimuri Castle.

It probably won’t take them a week, having the capital seized they should move in a hurry.

The initial estimation is seven days… Four days is too much I guess? Maybe five? If six then is it the same thing? What’s the point? But three days are impossible with that slowness.

The prince and the third division have separated. The nobles too.

Splitting into groups of several thousands they are making their way. The army that is following the prince belongs to the great marquis house.

He might be called a prince, but he is a stupid prince that together with his mother, who comes from that great marquis house, is glued to it. I mean, if you are going to stick that close together, you naturally won’t get chosen as a crown prince even if you are the oldest son? A real dumbass.

Even if the army of that prince rushes as much as they can it probably won’t amount to much. I had given Remote Control Armed Reconnaissance Golem-kun to Stalker Girl’s clansmen, so even if they switched to a forced march, they are probably stopped in their tracks every time they get harassed. And it seems that even after reconnaissance in force, there are no signs of a hidden ace for the first prince’ army. At the very least, no hidden units revealed themselves.

I wonder what he was thinking when he decided to attack? Well, probably nothing, in other words, he is being manipulated. But is he a distraction or a disposable pawn used for scouting? Well, probably both.

I don’t know what sort of countermeasures they prepared for the Fake Dungeon, but if he is coming with military might alone then he is a sucker. And not of the good kind that tentacles have, but a completely useless one. Being attached to some sort of an interesting monster could’ve given him at least some merit, but I have no need for him otherwise. Let’s pulverize him into dust and forget.

Even if I reach the capital in one day, I’ll have only five days to demolish the forces of the second prince that holed up there. But to think they’ll shut themselves in before the person with an actual 『Hikikomori』title? Are they looking down on Hikikomori? We are short on time, but the middle-aged men are having another useless chat (meeting)? It wouldn’t take us even one day, the Pres and the others too should be able to easily reach it in two days with time to spare. But armies are slow, even elites on a forced march might barely make it in two days.

And even if they make it there, they definitely aren’t making it back in time.

According to the Stalker Girl clan’s information, the elite royal guard under the direct command of Royal Girl who were driven away by the Fake Dungeon, are currently reorganizing in one of the towns located along the way. Taking into consideration the time required to rearm them, even two days might be not enough. I wish they’d just get moving since we don’t have time.

In that case, maybe I should take the Royal Prince’s idea and have him send me to the first’s place, crush it a bit, and then head to the capital at once. Then I will be able to rejoin others in less than two days. But the first might slow down from that small attack, possibly requiring more than a week to reach the frontier. If he takes too much time, then the hiding main target might make a move. So this is the fastest?

It’s bothersome and will probably complicate things, throwing calculations out the window, but I’d rather take that than be delayed by this. Promptly writing down the plan as E + B + A combination I hand it to the aide person. What’s left is to await the reply. I made it look like a combination of the plans from both middle-aged men, so it should be a good common ground.

Which is just perfect, since even by Stalker Girl’s clan information the prince seems like nothing decent, so it might be better to head out to him by ourselves.

The other party still hasn’t shown themselves, so there is a chance that they aren’t even there. I sent out the geeks to at least get them out there ahead of time, but if it ruins the sequence it would be a problem… Well, giving them instructions is useless anyway, and I gave detailed directions to Slime-san, so let’s just leave them be.

Now it’s the matter of being able to concentrate our forces until their trump card comes into play, if we won’t finish it in seven days it will become a problem, if it takes more than ten days it will probably be too late. And I’ll have to be ready by then too, that’s when the real welcome begins. Everyone does as they please, so I don’t think anyone will complain if I do as I please as well?

「Aah~, I can’t get their hidden trump off my mind. If it’s nothing special then we can take it easy, but underestimating them and getting destroyed by our own negligence is way too foolish. I have some preparations in place, but no matter how much I prepare it will always be far from perfect, in the end, there is no way to fully prepare for everything. In that case, I have to finish them before they make their move or it will be the same as defeat. I mean, I’d totally do it, in that case I need countermeasures in case they’d do it, and a plan to prevent them from doing so~.」

(Nod-Nod)

Librarian was the only one who predicted the war and factored in for that, and yet to think that I’d end up getting a late start, what a blunder. My Affection Rating is currently missing as it is, if I add a slip of my own on top of that, making some sort of error, then Affection Rating-san will vanish into oblivion!

Looks like I have no other choice but to bet everything on bamboo shoots. To think that after finally leaving Mushroom Forest I’ll have to create Bamboo Village with my own hands… Life was unpredictable in the original world, and that didn’t change here.

「So I’ll go bamboo for a bit, when the reply comes relay『Prepare to leave immediately』, okay? Then, I’ll be off, I don’t think it will take even two hours, but I’m counting on you for the rest?」

(Nod-Nod)

Since it is in the castle premises there is no need for the escort, and the setup itself is pretty easy, requiring only to observe the result afterwards, so let’s quickly get done with it. Pres and the others went on dungeon exploration, even inviting Royal Girl and Merimeri-san with them, so I’ll have to check for hidden rooms later. There is so much I have to take care of, and yet I’m stuck waiting for middle-aged men, which kind of pisses me off.

「Unexpected Farming Life in Another World? But since it’s not for harvesting but for Reaping, so this bamboo planting is food waste in a way? But it’s also an energy friendly cost friendly weapon? 」

The main force of the first prince’s army is the third division and nobles’ armies. The core of the army is heavy infantry equipped with enchanted heavy armor, great shields, and more than three-meter-long lances, and mage corps. That’s why they are so slow. Like, really slow. Slow enough that even Turtle-san could easily overtake them, pull off a drift, and leave them in the dust. And Rabbit-san would have to wait for so long that sleep out of boredom will transition into an eternal one. Ignoring them would make it easier, but the Royal Prince is still fixated on negotiating with them. Meripapa-san is also worried about simply letting them pass, so it’s worth messing with them a bit. And also…

Middle-Aged Men needlessly burden themselves with various things in proportion to how long they live, so they seem to be incapable of fast travel. But no matter how much they shoulder, if the weight slows down their movements, then in the end, the destructive power is no different from lightweight but fast. And speed is power. After all, the one who kills the other party first – wins, and with swiftness, one can kill one enemy after another. In war, it’s better to destroy the enemy faster rather than cower under heavy defenses.

One can do only what one is capable of. That’s why, since I can’t protect, I will go around killing, or, in the worst case, intimidate them into behaving themselves. Guerillas are the strongest force. They can only huddle together and walk straight to the Frontier. Welcoming Preparations are such a pain though? Like, bamboo shoots planting? I thought we’d have them with rice, but an unexpected cultivation plan came up, even though they look so delicious.

「Haruka-sama, Omui-sama wishes to talk with you, do you happen to have time? If it suits you we can bring him to you or even have him wait somewhere.」

It’s Aide-san. I wonder if it’s just my imagination, but it feels like every time we meet Meripapa’s treatment gets worse and worse? Well, all he does is have useless meetings all day long, so he definitely has lots of free time. Even though I’m dripping with sweat, working hard at planting bamboo, well, 『Evil Hands』 do.

「I’m done here, so I don’t mind, is it finally over? Middle-aged man vs Middle-aged man useless discussion?」

「A conclusion has been reached. Are you truly fine with this? His Excellency is…」

「He wants to do the same thing as me, so why not? Actually, that is his earnest and desperate attempt at acting with the best intentions. This is the only option he had left. Most likely.」

「Mellotosam-sama surely will not give up on the Kingdom, or his friend the King, or the King’s younger brother, but what about you, Haruka-sama? Do you have a reason to help? Going through with such a nonsensical farce… When you could simply… 」

I see, so he has a problem not with Meripapa-san but with the royal middle-aged man, and so he is displeased with Meripapa-san who is covering for the Royal Prince. And probably displeased with the fact that Meripapa-san doesn’t work at all too. I mean, every time I go to the lord’s mansion he is just sitting in a massage chair?

Well, that royal middle-aged man seems to be universally hated, no matter who you ask. But even so, that is a pitiful powerless and incompetent hero who is very desperate to save the kingdom. A good for nothing hero in motivation alone, who has no ability, no power, and no talent to become one.

A foolish hero, that keeps struggling, thinking 『Let’s do something』 and 『Something must be done』, knowing well enough that he lacks the power or ability to do anything, and keeps blindly fumbling around with the only thing he can offer, his worthless head.

「It’s meaningless, but there might be worth?」

Without anyone counting on him, abandoned and deserted by everyone, without a single ally to speak of, he keeps needlessly wrecking his head for the sake of the kingdom, pointlessly agonizing, and incompetently floundering, sticking to it no matter how helplessly he might get beaten up. The incompetent hero that continues his meaningless lonely fight, likely unable to ever accomplish anything or to see his efforts rewarded.

「Meaningless, useless, powerless, and incompetent, but there was the pride? I guess?」

Inept struggle that worsened the situation the more he struggled, strangling his own neck with his own hands. Even so, he couldn’t find it in himself to give up, even willing to give up his own life. He might’ve been nothing but a useless stand-in substitute for a king who couldn’t but keep sinking deeper into the quagmire with every step he took, and even so, he tried to act the King. Even though he can’t do anything even if he were to throw that head away and crawl his way to the goal, he still keeps crawling.

A ruler on the verge of becoming headless on top of being brainless. Useless, meaningless, worthless, and helpless, but even so, that pitiful thing is the king.

That’s why even if no one acknowledges him and all he has is the ridicule, scorn, and disdain of others, he is still a hero.

Even though he can’t do anything, or rather, it would’ve been better if he didn’t even try, as everything he does is nothing but a nuisance, he keeps fighting. Unable to hold anything, not acknowledged by anyone, he keeps meaninglessly struggling in vain.

「Although his recklessness goes beyond helpless and incompetent futility, and is more of an actual disaster, even if no one knows, even if there is no meaning to it at all, that is a hero (king). I’m pretty sure that’s how heroes are?」

That’s why the kingdom will be saved. To be honest, I couldn’t care less and it would’ve been faster to just smash it. Royal Girl seems to have no interest in the throne too, so there is no merit to keeping this finished kingdom, and getting it over with surely would’ve been quicker and easier.

But even if he seems to possess nothing, it seems there was something. Royal Girl and Futile Hero were both saying the same thing 『For the sake of the people, the turmoil has to be avoided』, even though it’s far too late for that, and armies are marching with weapons in hand, they still tried to jump in front of them to stop it. Astonishingly incompetent, inadequate, inept, and ignorant royalty.

But that is why Meripapa-san, the lord of the frontier, that suffered the most from that incompetency and powerlessness, is trying to fight for the royal family. The recklessness of this royal family is so infinitely great that it’s awe inspiring.

「So inept that they lost to the foreign pressure, were betrayed by nobles, and lost control over the budget. And yet they continued assistance, even if they had to sell the royal family’s heirlooms? Then it can’t be helped, investment (favor) requires repayment? I guess?」

That’s why the kingdom will be saved it seems. As inept, futile, lacking in planning, power, and knowledge, as they might be, they still recklessly tried to stop the civil war, so who can tell them that it’s impossible. That’s why the kingdom will be saved, an inept nuisance that he may be, and likely will remain for the rest of his life, the foolish ruler filling in for the king, unknowingly to anyone, probably even himself, will become an unsung hero that saved the kingdom.

After all, at that point he is on utterly the same level as Meripapa-san. So if both are the same thing, then who cares if that’s how the royal family is. Even if they inherited no ability or talent, as long as they inherited the heart they might as well be inept and helpless. In all their worthless futility, they managed to show the principle, the most priceless thing among all the worthlessness.

That’s why there is no civil, I mean, they ain’t going to fight? With such a pathetic and helpless hero that is so ineptly, unwittingly, and valiantly crawling through the dirt, it wouldn’t be a big deal if a random side character capable of nothing but killing passed by.

A coincidental pass by along-the-way extermination it is.

[TL Notes:

[1] Reference to Mushroom Mountain (Kinoko no Yama(Japanese)/Chocorooms(America)) vs Bamboo Village (Takenoko no Sato(Japanese), Chococones(America)) feud, which was also mentioned in the first chapters.