The Silly Alchemist

I am online right now on the alchemist Discord channel here (8th Nov 2020, 12am to 1am GMT 8+ (or 12pm -1pm 7th Nov- New York Time) to celebrate the end of The Silly Alchemist. Come say hi! See ya!

Soaring Sky Empire’s intentions were clear now. They were holding the entire city hostage.Ye Lang could run, the Ye family could run- but what about the rest of the citizens?

Ye Lang had many friends here. The Romantic Floor was a good example. Could he care for so many people? He couldn’t. It would be impossible.

At the same time, how could he let the rest of the civilians die? That was unforgivable.

That voice was not the Soaring Sky Emperor’s, but everyone knew it was a representative of his instructions. Who else could mobilise such a huge force?

“What do you want?” asked Ye Lang, looking up at the sky. His voice rang across the entire city and up into the sky.

“Same thing. You join Soaring Sky and you shall enjoy riches and power! It’ll be good for you, good for me, good for everyone. It’s not even a difficult thing. You’ll live a good life and get to save the entire city,” said the voice.

“Sounds like a fair trade. I enjoy life, everyone gets to live,” said Ye Lang mildly.

“Yes, it is!”

“Alright! I agree with your terms!” said Ye Lang.

“Ye Lang…”

“Thirteen…”

“Your Majesty…”

…

“You don’t have to say a word. This is the best way, and the only way. They just want me. It doesn’t matter,” said Ye Lang.

“I’ll go with you!” Zhao Yarou was the first to speak. Not only because she didn’t want to leave him, but also because she wanted to take responsibility for such an outcome too.

“Me too!”

The rest of the girls also wanted to come with.

Their message was clear- they were willing to die alongside Ye Lang if it came to that!

“Why would you all come with me? I’ll go alone!” said Ye Lang, shaking his head.

“No, I must go with you! The last time we let you leave alone, you disappeared for ten years! We don’t want to lose you for another ten years! I cannot afford another heartbreak!” The seventh princess clung to Ye Lang tightly, as if she was clinging to life itself.

“…”

“Don’t say that! I’ll think of a way to solve the problem after I go!” Ye Lang’s brows were furrowed.

“What can you do? Stop lying to us! You may be an alchemy prodigy, you may be Lady Luck’s son but you’re still powerless right now! You’re going against the military of an entire empire!” Zhao Yarou grabbed Ye Lang’s hand and said calmly. There was a terrifying rage hiding behind this calm facade.

“Don’t worry about me, I have many tricks up my sleeve. Little Xin can help me…”

“Right, you still have Little Xin. She can control those…”

Everyone seemed to see a ray of hope. Although they hadn’t witnessed her in action before, they chose to believe him.

But another message came from the skies that killed their hopes and dreams.

“Don’t even think of using that reanimated spirit on us! We have explosives on every ship! If anything happens, we will shut down all alchemy appliances and crash our ships into your city! The explosives will make your city blow up beautifully.”

“…”

“Fine, looks like I have to use my ultimate weapon. Just enjoy the show, you will witness unprecedented magnificence! Be safe and activate the defense systems!” Ye Lang grinned and prepared to leave. It sounded like a pep talk before a battle.

But before he could take two steps, he stopped because the group of girls followed him.

“Don’t follow me, I’m really going to unleash my ultimate trick. With you all here, I’d be distracted looking out for you,” said Ye Lang.

“No!”

“Do you trust me!”

“Yes!”

“Then wait here!”

“No!”

“…”

“Look, a flying boat!”

“The sky’s filled with them, don’t think you can trick us!”

“…”

“Fine, I’m begging you. Let me go alone. I will come back. If I am captured and brought to Soaring Sky, you can come with. We’ll all be traitors of Soaring Sky together!” said Ye Lang exasperatedly.

“…”

The crowd fell silent. It was true. If Ye Lang went over to Soaring Sky’s side, it could be a safer option. When Soaring Sky unified the world, it did not matter who was from which empire. They all belonged to Soaring Sky.

Ye City had always been neutral, it didn’t matter which side they ended up with.

As for Vermilion Bird and Ai La, at this point, they would not blame Ye Lang if that happened. They would also want Ye Lang to have some peace living in Soaring Sky.

“Then we’ll all be the traitors of Soaring Sky together…” said Zhao Yarou.

“…”

Were they really so proud of being traitors? Also, they both came from Soaring Sky. And Zhao Yarou used to be the empress.

“Alright, will you let me go now? Just enjoy the show. Remember to take care of Fatty, she’s not like you guys, she isn’t strong enough to protect herself… Oh, take care of Sha Lan too, my new student.” Ye Lang mentioned Sha Lan when she gestured, reminding him of her presence.

Hmmph, who are you calling your new student? I’m here to learn about alchemy, not become your student.

“What are you going to do?” Zhao Yarou sensed that Ye Lang was going to do something drastic.

“You’ll see!” Ye Lang grinned and left in a flash. He stepped onto the spare capsule on the flying back and lifted off alone once again.

“Uh, where is the emperor of Soaring Sky? Come out if you’re here! I need to talk to you!” announced Ye Lang when he was up in the air.

“…”

“Quite hiding, I know you’re here. I can sense it,” said Ye Lang.

“Why can you sense it?” came the Soaring Sky emperor’s voice. He did not attempt to hide.

“Because you’re Little Seven’s father, also my father’s friend. I’m very familiar with your aura,” said Ye Lang with a smile. He looked out at the emperor, who was standing on an airship that was identical to every other ship in the horde.

Although this emperor’s antics were crazy, at least he had the courage to stand in the frontlines.

“There’s no need to talk to me about that. It’s useless for you to suck up to me now. Do you know what I had to sacrifice because of you?!” said the emperor.

“Your sacrifices will be worth it! Let’s not talk up here. Why not we just land our ships. I will go with you to Soaring Sky,” said Ye Lang.

“Little Ye Lang, don’t you dare try pulling a stunt! Don’t think I don’t know that with your abilities, if I get close to you, you’ll take me down.” The emperor eyed him cautiously.

“You knew that too? Hehe, then you can just get your guards to get me. But I think you should land too. There’s too much wind up here,” said Ye Lang with a grin.

“There, Chu Jiu will be waiting for you. He has something to tell you anyway,” said the emperor, pointing at a point on the ground. It was a space not far from the city. There was a crowd of Soaring Sky people here.

“Also, you’ve got to swear that you’ll go with me to Soaring Sky and behave yourself.”

“I swear I’ll go with you all to Soaring Sky and I will behave myself!” said Ye Lang immediately, though everyone felt like it was rather useless.

No one would suspect Ye Lang’s words because he never broke his promises. If he said it, he would do it.

“??”

Everyone realised the situation had taken a turn. It meant Ye Lang was willing to work with Soaring Sky to sacrifice himself for the good of everyone.

He said he had a trick up his sleeve. Was this it?

Everyone was upset but at this point of the plot, they were helpless!

“Alright, time for you to get down. I will then make my soldiers retreat!” Since he’d already gotten what he wanted, the emperor did not continue to threaten Ye City. It was not a good idea for him to do that either.

“You don’t have to do that now, I haven’t left yet,” said Ye Lang. “We’ll talk when both of us are on the ground. I won’t do anything to you, don’t worry.”

“…Alright.” The emperor felt like Ye Lang was acting suspicious but also thought there was nothing for him to fear because if Ye Lang changed his mind, the emperor could invade Ye City immediately.

However, the emperor still maintained a distance between them. He landed one hundred metres away from Ye Lang. At that point, Ye Lang was talking to Chu Jiu.

“Uh, Chu Jiu? What did you want to tell me?” asked Ye Lang after landing as he watched the emperor land.

“I want to talk to you about something. Something that will create peace for the world. You’re the only who can do it,” said Chu Jiu.

“I’m not that important, don’t say that!” Ye Lang furrowed his brows.

“But it is true. You’re the only one who has close ties with every side, and can rally support from everyone. This matter will not be impossible as long as you’re the one speaking to them,” said Chu Jiu. He was about to say something when Ye Lang turned and said something surprising to the emperor.

“Your Majesty, there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about! Do you know that alchemy is a magical thing? Everything in the world can be a precursor for an alchemy reaction, just like the ground…”

Ye Lang moved his hand subtly and a gigantic pillar grew beneath his feet. It was made of the essence of the earth, robust as ever!

The pillar lifted him high up in the air to a spot where no one could approach for the moment.

Not sure out of luck or misfortune, Chu Jiu, who was next to him, also ended up high in the air on the pillar…

“What are you doing… Don’t you think of it… My men will invade immediately…” The emperor sensed that something bad was going to happen.

Zhao Yarou and the rest were watching Ye Lang intently, eyes gleaming with anticipation. They were waiting for Ye Lang and his miracles to eliminate all these people.

Although it seemed unbelievable, with Ye Lang, they felt like everything was possible.

“Calm down, this is just the beginning. This is just a change in physical form of matter. The next part’s more exciting. Alchemy can also change the qualities of matter, for example, air…” said Ye Lang.

Air? What did he mean? What could air do?

They stared in confusion as Ye Lang quickly drew an alchemy formation in the air. The formation expanded with every stroke. Forgetting about everything else, just this sight was magnificent. It was a beautifully unforgettable moment.

A glittering formation rose into the air. To everyone, it felt like the process was slow but all this actually happened in a very short period.

Up in the sky, when the formation arrived at the designated point, powerful rays of light shot out of it. Space seemed to contort and rip at the point!

“Boom!” whispered Ye Lang.

Perhaps from his tone, everyone thought the explosion would be gentle…

But to their shock, the scale of the explosion was of an unfathomable magnitude!

When the alchemy formation exploded, in the beginning, it did not explode outwards but implode inwards so everything nearby was sucked inside. Everyone was horrified at how the airships were dragged inside.

Then, the formation exploded on the magnitude of a natural disaster. It looked like the end of the world.

A blinding white light destroyed everything around it. A small portion of airships was vaporised in an instant. The next shockwave was worse.

A strong explosion must bring with it a blast of shockwaves. And it was also a display of how powerful the explosion was!

The shockwaves seemed to roll across the skies like a blanket in all directions, a hundred times stronger than any windstorm they had witnessed. In a second, the concentrated horde of airships in the sky was sent tumbling at high speed in all directions.

In the face of such strong impact, each airship would definitely meet the fate of crashing into the ground! And the people on them all died the instant the shockwaves hit!

The shockwaves did not affect the airships in the sky. The people on the ground felt it too. Dust and the Soaring Sky foot soldiers surrounding the city were blown far backwards, landing far from the city.

Anyone who was slightly weaker died crashing into the ground!

It was… terrifying!

When the cloud of dust dissipated, everyone watched in stunned silence. If they hadn’t seen it with their own eyes, they would not have believed one person could destroy one empire’s entire military in one moment.

At the same time, if Ye City hadn’t activated its defense mechanisms, it would’ve been flattened too. Everyone had chills just thinking about it!

What formation was that? Did it only use air? Questions raced through their minds, especially driving Sha Lan and the rest of the alchemists mad.

Ye Lang’s alchemy was enough to annihilate the world. From today on, no one would dare call an alchemist weak.

“Where’s Ye Lang?”

They realised the tall pillar had been broken by the blast too. Ye Lang was missing.

“That troublemaker!”

The crowd of Tian Heavenly Level girls got into action, rushing towards where Ye Lang had been at lightning speed. They also calculated the strength of the blast to search for where Ye Lang could be.

Ye City’s soldiers were also mobilised. Some to look for Ye Lang, at the same time cleaning up the battlefield, rescuing anyone who still could be saved…

“Ye Lang!”

“Little brother!

“Young Master!”

“Brother-in-law…”

…

The girls screamed in panic as they searched…

“Cough, cough… I’m here! It’s all Chu Jiu’s fault! Why did you grab me like that for no reason? It made me grab the Water Moon Mirror a moment too late and got blasted all the way here!”

Ye Lang appeared before everyone, with an embarrassed Chu Jiu by his side.

“…”

The girls were silent, then immediately rushed to hug him. Ye Lang had limited surface area so only two girls could hug him but the rest did not care. They all ended up in a group hug.

Ye Lang, who could not withstand the force, collapsed on the ground and they all piled on him.

Everyone was jealous, for this was a group of the most beautiful girls on the mainland hugging Ye Lang…

…

‘It’s all done! The mainland should be at peace now, and I can go play again!’ thought Ye Lang. Soaring Sky no longer had any power. The outcome was obvious- the mainland would return to its peaceful state.

Peace across the mainland was supposed to be the end result anyway, though Ye Lang put a twist in the ending! He introduced a whole new power balance!

…

“Ew, I’m not doing that! Let someone else do it! Cousin, you can do it. Also, Zhao Yarou, you can do it too! You’ve done it before!”

Ye Lang was adamant in refusing it. He did not accept the unanimous decision.

“I could but other people would not be satisfied! You’re the only one who will be the most suited for this!” said Princess Longji with a smile.

Then, Zhao Yarou said, “I have done it before, I can help you deal with this but it’s still best you take the seat. Other people would not be satisfied with me either.”

“You think they’d be satisfied if it were me?” Ye Lang furrowed his brows.

“Yep! You’re the only person everyone agrees on!” said everyone at the same time.

What were they talking about?

It was about the emperor’s position! The emperor of the human race across the mainland!

Every major power had discussed it and they thought the most suitable person was still Ye Lang. He was the only one everybody supported.

Returning to the original state was also possible but problems still remained. War could still happen!

After many years of war, Vermilion Bird, Ai La and other small kingdoms had already merged together. If they split now, there would be conflict. This was the funny part. Merging wasn’t the problem, splitting was what would cause fights.

It was just like splitting inheritance. Everything must be split equally, but everyone had different standards of what ‘equal’ meant. That was the start of conflict.

The person who analysed all of this was Chu Jiu.

Additionally, he pointed out that some kingdoms had already disappeared under Soaring Sky’s rule. Who would these areas belong to? Soaring Sky did not have any military power now, other powers would start to fight them for it.

Ye Lang had performed a true extermination, solving Ye City’s problems but bringing more problems to the entire mainland. An empire with no ability to defend itself would be the target of war for everyone else.

That meant there would never be peace!

The only solution was for the entire mainland to become one empire, treating the outcome as Soaring Sky having swallowed and merged with Vermilion Bird and Ai La. Then, they must choose an emperor now. Should they choose Vermilion Bird’s emperor? Or Ai La? Or someone else?

They made many suggestions but there was never unanimous agreement!

No one would yield and the discussion became meaningless. Any resentment now would just result in future wars. Might as well return all the land back to their respective countries, following the initial map and ignoring everything else.

Someone suddenly thought of Ye Lang. And when his name was mentioned, no one opposed it. They had always been in support of him anyway. Also, if you didn’t like Ye Lang, he could just destroy you with his alchemy.

It was a surprising result!

They did not think Ye Lang would be a good emperor but he was the most suitable candidate for now. If he could take the throne, then there would be a stabilising period for nations to return to peace.

The empire would be divided into three regions: Soaring Sky, Vermilion Bird and Ai La. These three places would be ruled by their original nobles but without the ‘emperor’ title. They would be called the Soaring Sky Lord, Vermilion Bird Lord and Ai La Lord.

Although the essence of the situation hadn’t changed, it would curb major conflicts across the mainland. That as itself the best outcome!

Then, all they had to do was convince Ye Lang for him to be emperor.

It was obvious he wouldn’t be willing. He did not want to take on more responsibility…

They explained and promised that Ye Lang did not need to handle any trivial matters, he just had to be the emperor on paper. Everything would be dealt with.

Ye Lang accepted the title begrudgingly in the end, which made everyone want to punch him!

…

Ye City had the most interesting celebration in its history— the coronation of Ye Lang to be the only emperor of the entire human race, also the first emperor who unified the entire mainland.

Although it was just a theoretical concept, it was also reality.

That day, Ye City was deeply immersed in the ecstasy of celebration. People from all over the mainland congregated in one area to witness this historical moment!

“Long live the emperor…”

…

“My little brother, you really are Lady Luck’s son! You’re so lucky!” Ye Lanyu was very emotional with Ye Lang being the emperor. She loved that her little brother was such a lucky guy.

Just as she thought, it was undeniable that Ye Lang was very lucky. Without his childhood ramblings, Zhao Yarou wouldn’t have launched a war; if he didn’t disappear with Zhao Yarou for ten years to complicate the power dynamics of the mainland, this entire place would’ve been under Soaring Sky’s rule now. Then he wouldn’t be emperor.

If the Soaring Sky Emperor wasn’t greedy enough to attempt to unify the world, the outcome wouldn’t be the same…

If it wasn’t for…

There were too many ‘what ifs’, too many coincidences, in the end leading to Ye Lang being the luckiest emperor…

He wasn’t just the first emperor to unify the mainland, he was also the most carefree emperor to exist! He continued having a lot of fun, passing his days happily with the girls around him without worry!

…

“Brother-in-law, what do you want to do next?” asked Zhao Yarou after Ye Lang‘s coronation.

“Now that I am the emperor, I want to build a palace, then have three thousand concubines…”

“SHUT UP!”

…

—-End—–

DOGE’s Note:

The Silly Alchemist is the first project I’ve ever picked up, and it will forever have a special place in my heart. Hilarious, heartwarming, quirky… It is a nice break from other more adult-themed stories I often see (a little harem, but no one sleeps with each other so it’s still fine). This wholesome story led to a wholesome community, you’ve all been so nice to me. I am so lucky. 778 chapters, 1.5 years.

Thank you to Lynic & veratales for supporting this journey. Thank you to the readers. Thank you to the patrons, especially! You don’t know how much you’ve helped with my life financially and as a result, my confidence as a person. With the pandemic going on, I am so lucky to be able to help out my family through my earnings from here, e.g. paying for rent and food and everything else. Truly, this project has, in a way, changed my life for the better.

I am online right now on the alchemist Discord channel here to celebrate the end of The Silly Alchemist. Come say hi! See ya! (if you’re reading this within an hour of chapter release)

What next?

I picked up a novel called ‘Breaking The Day’, a cultivation comedy. I had been looking for something like The Silly Alchemist and so far this seems like it. It’s a heartwarming & funny story about the adventures of Young Master Li Chengfeng and his various servants as his stupidity (and ingenuity) gets him into trouble as well as out of it. It has more cultivation themes than The Silly Alchemist.

Update 7th Nov: I am half-dead rushing the first hundred chaps of this novel for you guys in time for the last Alchemist chapter release, reading just the first 10 chaps of this story will be enough to repay me 😛 (actually that’s when the plot becomes very interesting)

I also have another novel on veratales called ‘Chronicles of Primordial Wars’, an adventure/comedy about tribal politics and supernatural strength. I picked up the novel from chapter 300+ but honestly I don’t think you’ve got to read c1-300 to understand what is going on. You can just start from my first chap on veratales. The concept of this story is unique because of MC’s diplomatic skills to handle different characters & fight beasts and i genuinely enjoy it.

Patrons:

Note that your ‘The Silly Alchemist’ subscription carries forward to ‘Breaking The Day’ too! You get both Breaking The Day and The Silly Alchemist advanced chapters!

Bork wishes,

DOGE.

I love you!