The Strange Adventure of a Broke Mercenary

Proofreader: Xemul

“Are you insane? Do we even have a chance to win?”

After leaving Yuri’s place, Loren’s team gathered in a room at an inn that he had prepared.

After listening to Gula’s countermeasure against Wrath, Yuri had kept his promise and provided them with what he considered the best accommodations he could offer.

Loren wondered why an inn originally used by the nobility of the Empire was located so close to the border where the battlefield was being fought, but he was convinced when Yuri told him that the current battlefield had also been a battlefield several times in the past, and that troops were dispatched there quite frequently. 

Military service was a kind of duty for nobles, and many well-known nobles hold a good position in the military. In other words, this was an inn for high-ranking officers.

“If you’re talking about my head, then yes I’m not in my right mind. But,”

Gula deftly dodged Lapis, who had come at her with such force as soon as they entered the room, then jumped on the bed in the room and laid down. Lapis looked upset, and Gula continued.

“Worst case scenario, we can just drag him in front of Wrath if we can’t convince him.”

“Is that how it is? But I think it’s a little too much to throw Sloth at Wrath.” 

Lapis said and sat down on the edge of another bed.

Loren, who had been watching their exchange at the entrance of the room, finally opened his mouth and looked around the room and asked the question he had been holding in his mind.

“It looks to me like there are three beds.”

“Of course, there are. This seems to be a room for three.”

“I’ll sleep here too…?”

“It’s alright. It’s not like you’ll be eaten or anything.”

While feeling that this was not the place to be concerned, Loren thought it would be futile to try to argue with Lapis’ words. He entered the room, propped the large sword on his back up against the wall, and placed the dagger he had taken out of his luggage near the pillow of the innermost of the three beds.

“Isn’t that usually the opposite of what you’re supposed to do?”

Gula, who had been watching Loren’s actions, commented, but Loren just ignored her. Since he would never voluntarily attack Lapis or Gula, and in fact, the opposite possibility would be much more likely, preparation would be absolutely necessary.

Anyway, Loren could not understand why a room for high-ranking officers would accommodate three people. He thought that a noble would not go to the trouble of sharing a room with others, but then he reconsidered the fact that most nobles who join the military are men, and it might not be unusual for them to invite someone else into their room at night.

“I suppose it’s a good thing it wasn’t just one gigantic bed for three.” 

“I would have been fine with that.”

Lapis, who overheard Loren’s low murmur, said in a matter-of-fact tone. But Loren thought that if such a situation had arisen, he would have had to consider doing something about Yuri, who had prepared the room.

“There’s only one bathroom, so the three of us can all go in together, okay?”

Surprisingly, the room Yuri had prepared for them even had a bath. But although it was a decent size, it was still only one bathroom. Gula suggested this with a wry smile, to which Loren responded with a sigh and downturned mouth corners.

“Why the hell would we do that? Why don’t we use it one at a time, or why don’t I go in after you guys are done?”

“Are you going to waste the chance to take a bath with beautiful girls? Could it be that you are that type of guy? I heard that it’s common on the battlefield, and I’m worried about you.”

Gula said smugly with a smirk. Loren sat down on his bed and glared at her.

“You don’t need to worry about anything…”

Just then, Nig, who had been clinging to Loren’s shoulder, quickly descended to the bed via his arm, moved to the edge of the bed, and began to spin a web. Loren, sensing that he was making a bed for himself, gently patted Nig’s back as he dexterously shaped the threads, he spat out it with his forelegs, and warned him not to make anything too showy.

“Can’t you give in to your desires at least once? Don’t you think you are too stoic?”

“Don’t tease me too much. One of these days I’m going to really give into them.”

As Loren uttered this in a threatening tone, Lapis, who was sitting on the edge of another bed, collapsed onto the bed on her back and silently beckoned Loren to come to her.

Loren let out a sigh, covered his face with his hands, and waved his hand at Lapis as if he were chasing away a dog.

“Rather than that, what is Sloth’s odd against Wrath?”

Loren had only met the Evil God of Sloth once, but he had the impression that, as the title implied, the man found everything to be a chore. He didn’t seem like the kind of Evil God that would be suited to a war, nor did he seem like an effective means of countering Wrath, who they had no choice but to flee from.

However, Gula answered in a strangely confident tone while still lying down.

“In my opinion, Sloth is the most effective countermeasure against Wrath.”

“And what the hell is the logic behind that?”

“I’d happily to explain it to you in the bathtub.”

Gula said with a smug smile. Loren was about to reject her when he noticed Lapis’ eyes fixed on him.

“Isn’t it usually the man who makes those kinds of demands?”

“I don’t expect Loren would make such an exchange offer.”

“What do you guys get from trying to seduce me?”

Loren had never lived in a way that could be described as particularly chaste or pure. 

It was a useless thing on the battlefield, and although he did not like to talk about it, when he was old enough to be a child soldier, he had bathed together with female mercenaries from other mercenary groups. For some reason, the female mercenaries he bathed with at that time were very pleased.

“I’m doing all this because of the goodness in my heart.”

“I’m just a bit curious.”

“You’re way too transparent. At least pretend to be shy.”

Being liked by two girls who were worthy of being called beautiful made Loren very happy. However, if they were too open about it, it would dampen the mood. It was with this in mind that Loren responded to them. 

Lapis and Gula, still lying on their backs, looked at each other and began to wriggle around on their beds. The action seemed to have some meaning, but to Loren, it looked like caterpillars trying to decide which direction to go.

“Just want to ask, but… What the hell are you doing?”

“We’re just trying to be as shy as we can.”

Lapis answered with a straight face. Loren, at a loss for words, looked up at the ceiling.

“Whether it’s a tactic or a trick, what’s the point of being coy if you’re not going to be honest about how you feel?”

“That’s true, Loren. Even an Evil God agrees.”

“If we have eternity, we can dance around each other as much as you like. But time is finite, you know?”

“But there are those who argue that this is the best part.”

“I don’t agree, but if you like such things, then I can cast my eyes down with blushing cheeks and slowly lift my skirt while biting my fingers…”

“Something’s not right there, isn’t it? I mean the skirt part. I can’t do that with my clothes.”

“Do it with your top, then?”

“My top? My top!? If I lift it up, we’ll suddenly go straight to the main part!”

While Loren was at a loss as to what to do as he watched the two girls begin to argue with each other, Shayna appeared in his field of vision, flapping the wings on her back and looking at the two with interest.

As Loren wondered what was interesting, Shayna muttered something in his mind. 

[‘That’s nice, isn’t it? This must be something people call ‘girls’ talk’. I’m a bit jealous.’]

Loren thought that this might not be the case, but he did not convey it to Shayna.

He was not familiar enough with this ‘girls’ talk’ thing to be able to say that it was definitely different, and he did not think it was necessary to go to the trouble of denying the kind of misleading thoughts that Shayna was having.

Moreover, Shayna had been turned into the ‘King of Death’ at a very young age, and before that, she was the daughter of the head of a city-state, so it was unlikely that she would have had the chance to talk with other children her own age. Loren hoped that he could somehow get her back into a human body as soon as possible. 

Perhaps that thought was conveyed to Shayna, as she peered into Loren’s eyes with a somewhat worried expression on her face.

[‘Onii-san?’]

Loren told her that it was nothing, then coughed lightly to attract the attention of Lapis and Gula, who were still noisily arguing with each other.

The conversation stopped at that sound, and they both turned to Loren.

“Anyway, this is just the Commander’s consideration. Stretch your wings when you can, and such.” 

“Hey Loren, I just wondered if you would go with me to persuade Sloth to come along? I’m the one who suggested it, but I don’t really feel like doing it by myself.”

Gula peered into Loren’s face and asked. He wondered what to say for a moment, but then quickly answered.

“I’m inclined to refuse if he’s holing up in some strange place, but since we’re obliged to report to the Commander, I guess I just can’t leave everything to you, can I?”

“That’s true. Whether we succeed or not, we will have to communicate with the Commander, so I guess we’ll have to go with you.”

When Lapis expressed her approval of Loren’s thought despite all the reluctance, Gula stretched out on the bed with a relieved expression.

“If that’s the case, I guess we’d better have a meal and a bath, then I’ll take you back to our place after we’ve had a good night’s sleep.”

“I forgot to mention one condition, that is, you have to stay put tonight. If you try anything strange, I’ll let you handle it on your own.”

Loren put the final nail in the coffin, and Gula’s face became gloomy. She looked extremely disappointed, but nodded after a while, perhaps having come to the conclusion that she had no choice but to accept it, considering that she would have to go alone to persuade Sloth otherwise.

“That means only I have a chance this time.”

“If you don’t behave yourself, I’ll leave you behind alone.”

“That’s too cruel. I can’t allow you to travel alone with the Evil God of Gluttony!”

Lapis half rose up and protested, but Loren had no intention to retract his statement. After a while, she reluctantly nodded as if she understood.

Loren felt a little bitter about the Commander’s consideration and wished that he had prepared a separate room for each of them so that they would not have to go through such troubles, but he was relieved to know that he could rest in peace to some extent.