The Strange Adventure of a Broke Mercenary

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Proofreader: Xemul

“Hey, if you’re awake, why didn’t you say so?”

“Don’t want to. I’m sure Gula will say something troublesome, you know.”

Gula was about to take a bite out of Sloth, who had reacted to Loren even though nothing she had done had gotten him up. But Sloth just yawned and scratched his head without looking at Gula, as if he had no intention to fight with her at all.

Gula repeatedly kicked him with no mercy, but Sloth’s body did not even move or sway with the impact of the kicks, as if it had grown roots on the spot.

“Can we continue our talk now?”

Loren, seeing that Gula’s actions seemed to be completely useless, interrupted her to say that the conversation would not move forward at this point.

When Loren opened his mouth to continue, Sloth raised a hand to stop him.

“I remember you, but I don’t remember hearing your name. If you’re going to talk to me, why don’t you start there?”

“I’m Loren, adventurer.”

“I’m Lapis. I’m Loren’s aspiring bride, a priest of the God of Knowledge and an adventurer, a generally unpleasant demon, Loren’s beautiful partner, and the mastermind behind a lot of things.”

“You just made that up, didn’t you?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m not lying.”

Hearing the self-introduction, Loren stared at Lapis with half-lidded eyes, but she met his gaze head-on with a radiant smile like a sunshine. Loren placed his hand on his forehead, thinking Sloth’s endurance against external stimuli was amazing, but his mental endurance was also considerable.

The Evil God of Sloth, who was watching them, let out a carefree laugh.

“Oho, interesting. I don’t think I can top that introduction. I think I’ve told you my name before, but I’m Dauna, the Evil God of Sloth. Well, nice to meet you again?”

Dauna, who introduced himself somewhat calmly in a rather easy-going tone, waved his hand at Loren and Lapis. Behind him, whereas Gula was still kicking him repeatedly from behind, but there was no sign that Dauna was having any discomfort about it.

“So what is it that you want from me?”

“It’s Gula, actually. We’ve come to ask for your help because she thinks you might be able to stand against the Evil God of Wrath.”

Loren had intended to leave the negotiation to Gula, but seeing how committed Gula she was to kicking the Dauna’s back, he had no choice but to negotiate on his own.

However, he had no idea what kind of conditions would be required for a being called Evil God to lend his power, so he thought he would just have to be honest and tell him why they had come here. But when Dauna heard this, he clearly showed that he didn’t like it with a frown.

“Wrath? Oh… It’s a hassle… It’s true I can deal with Wrath’s power, but…”

Loren could not decide whether Gula had realized that no amount of kicking seemed to make any difference or whether she had given up, but she finally stopped kicking Dauna’s back and said:

“His authority is adversarial to not only other Evil Gods, but also to almost everything in the world.”

“I think he’s also adversarial to Loren.”

Lapis then added a few words to the conversation.

Loren tilted his head, not understanding why Lapis would say such a thing. Even though they had become involved due to a previous incident, they did not know Dauna well enough to come to such a conclusion.

Lapis muttered the reason.

“His name sounds somewhat similar to Magna.”

Loren was about to agree, but then he hurriedly shook his head to get rid of the thought. It would be too much to equate the Evil God in front of them with the guy in black armor who had been causing all kinds of troubles just because their names sounded similar.

Dauna, who was almost classified in the same category as someone he probably didn’t even know, looked at Lapis and Loren with a puzzled look on his face. But then he looked up at the ceiling and muttered quietly.

“I’ve heard that name from somewhere.”

“Let’s leave it aside for now. We have to deal with the problem at hand first. Gula, this loafer… no, this person? What do you mean when you say that Dauna’s authority is adversarial to other Evil Gods’?”

“He’s got this authority called ‘Immovable Stillness’. As you can see, no matter how much we kick, punch, burn, or freeze him, he’s completely impervious to it.”

Gula dropped her fist on Dauna’s head. The action created a sound that made Loren worry if the guy would really be okay, but it was Gula, who had to cradle her hand in pain. Dauna, just smiled to this. It looked as if he felt no impact, at all.

“Authorities that use direct attack are completely ineffective because they do not work, physically or magically. Lust’s authority is also ineffective because his mind is immovable. He finds it too bothersome to go get his things back, so Greed’s authority is also useless. As for Envy, what is to be jealous of in laziness? Same for Pride, how do you look down on laziness in the first place?”

“Sounds invincible when it comes to fighting Evil Gods.”

Although Dauna was a little reluctant to have Luxuria set on him, it was probably a matter of his likes and dislikes, and it did not seem to cause him any real harm. Knowing that much, he indeed possessed an ability that could be described as invincible against Evil Gods, just as Lapis said.

“He’s just too lazy to attack on his own though.”

According to Gula, Dauna, aside from his Evil God’s authority, had no talent in almost any skills, be it swordsmanship, martial arts, or magic.

When he had met Loren’s party before, he had shown abilities such as crossing space and summoning slimes. But Gula explained that these were all abilities possessed by the Evil God of Sloth, and to him, being able to use them was just like a person being able to breathe.

“Gula, after hearing all that, it seems to me that this Evil God is nothing more than a hard and obtrusive figurine.”

“You’re about right.”

“I find it hard to believe that this person could ever be a means of countering the Evil God of Wrath…”

The Evil God of Wrath’s authority was burning down an extensive area. No matter how great the protective power of the Evil God of Sloth was, if only the Evil God himself was saved and the surroundings were burned down, it was indeed hard to believe that it could be a countermeasure as Lapis said.

If Sloth had some kind of plan to defeat Wrath, then that would be a different story. But if Gula’s explanation that he had no means of attack was true, then the chances of that happening were also very slim.

“I’ll need him to cooperate with us to demonstrate the true value of his authority. So, hey there, are you willing to cooperate?”

“I’d prefer not to go through the trouble if I can help it.”

Dauna answered while glancing at Loren’s face.

Loren was unable to gauge the meaning of the look that was directed at him, but Dauna just scratched his head and continued.

“But, that guy there, Loren, right? I feel a little guilty about him.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It’s about when my seal was broken. Even though it was for the sake of my escape, I think it was a little bit too much to make the slime attack you.”

Loren remembered.

The time when Dauna’s seal was broken was when Loren’s party met him for the first time. It was in the labyrinth beneath a certain adventurer training school.

When they tried to keep Dauna from escaping, he had summoned a slime to distract them. It was a very powerful slime, and an ordinary adventurer would likely have been killed by it alone.

“We were hostile too, it couldn’t be helped.”

“Hearing that makes me feel better. After all, we Evil Gods have troubled you guys all the time, haven’t we?”

Loren’s gaze turned to Gula.

Gula, noticing Loren’s gaze, turned around on the spot to escape Loren’s gaze with considerable alacrity and began pretending to be unaware of it with her back turned and attempt to whistle.

“We received some help, too.”

Loren said, thinking that he had to follow up that line of conversation first, and the smile on Dauna’s face turned bitter.

“I’m glad to hear that, but I’d also like to clean up the past, if you know what I mean.”

“What do you mean?”

“Letting bygones be bygones would be very suitable to my title as the Evil God of Sloth, but I’m willing to exert myself this time.”

“I’m fine with it.”

It was true that he had been in a very dangerous situation, but he had also been able to get through it without dying. Loren didn’t even remember the story until he was told, so he readily agreed. He looked at Lapis to asked for her opinion, and she nodded her head in agreement.

“If that’s alright with you, Loren, I have nothing else to add.”

“All right, then, I’ll cooperate with you, even if it’s a hassle… But first, I need you to do something for me.”

When Dauna casually added those few words, Loren and Lapis felt alarmed at the same time.

They thought he was trying to get them to agree to a simple condition and then use that momentum to get them to agree to something troublesome, but Dauna stretched out his hands to Loren from his sitting position and said something that neither of them had anticipated.

“I wonder if you could carry me to the site? Walking is bothersome.”

“You want me to… to carry you?”

“Is that Lapis over there? I think it would be nice to be carried on a woman’s back, but I’m afraid that’ll be much to ask.”

Loren looked at Gula to see if the guy was serious, but Gula shook her head gently as she looked at Dauna with pitiful eyes.

Loren, who saw from the gesture that Dauna was indeed serious, let out a sigh and told him.

“Alright, I’ll have Luxuria carry you. Just wait a minute.”

“Oh, wait, I’m starting to feel like forgetting my title and walking on my own two feet.”

Loren had thought that maybe Dauna couldn’t walk even though he had two legs, but it turned out that the Evil God could if he wanted to. When he saw Dauna standing right up, his shoulders slumped, and he wondered how this Evil God could really be of any help to them.

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