The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"That's quite the unexpected sight..."

Zombie made a bitter expression, reaching out his hand and moving a part of the brush out of his way.

What he was looking at and referring to was an outpost – a fort with a tall wooden outlook tower from atop of which the vast area of the forest entrance could be surveyed.

Since the Dandelions had vaguely recognized the general location - as the terrain hasn't been altered in any major way since the last time they were there - all five of them came to a conclusion that it must have been the first link in the chain of settlements that would lead them to their village.

This was of course a good thing, but it certainly wasn't as great as it could be.

Why?

Mainly because the outpost that they had come into contact with wasn't an abandoned ruin that they expected but a fully fortified, fully manned fort.

Although manned wasn't exactly the correct term to use here considering that the forces that claimed the structure for themselves weren't a part of the intelligent races...

Monsters.

The fort was choc-full of various goblins.

Zombie could easily spot the life signatures of at least one one-hundred and fifty creatures – of which most were surprisingly powerful considering their species, not to mention the good number of actually strong ones that could pose a problem if not taken care of first.

...especially since a peculiar life signature in the building inside the fort - that was originally a command headquarters - seemed to carry some traces of Eternal's energy, although the creature itself wasn't exactly a sigil monster...

"Tsk...! Look at those fuckers... they aren't normal goblins, they look even fucking creepier..."

Lairs clocked her tongue and backed off with a disgusted face.

"Cranberry, let's fucking roast those shits and be done with it!"

The black-haired elven mage scoffed and raised her crystal ball, nodding at the red-haired girl at the blue undead's side and motioning towards the goblin's fort with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"Hm~"

Zombie glanced at her and smirked – Lairs was the first Dandelions who completely dropped her guard and stopped being wary with Cranberry in him even after the initial bad impression and blackmail – and there was no doubt in the blue undead knight's head that it was mostly due to Cranberry's daughter of the elves title.

"Lai-lai... Although I completely agree – we should first investigate."

As everyone could hear, the red-haired girl was also very comfortable with the Lairs, going as far as to call her using the affectionate nickname that elven children would use towards their older siblings.

"Yes. Young miss is right, we need to try and learn as much as possible."

The rat-faced Shanks crouched on Zombie's other side moved back and nodded, agreeing with the red-haired. 𝘧𝒓e𝑒𝑤e𝙗𝚗o𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝐜𝐨ｍ

"Like fucking what...? A good goblin is a dead goblin!"

Lairs made a bitter expression and started playing with her crystal ball with a sulking expression.

"Whether it is just a random base that some random goblins have captured and taken as a base or is it something more. You already noticed that there was something off about those goblins themselves, but to tell you the truth, the outpost doesn't look like it has been used by any low-rank monsters."

"...?"

Shanks shook his head and explained, prompting Lairs to furrow her brows and lean to the side to catch another glimpse of the stronghold.

"Goblins are weak and nowhere near as smart as humans, kobolds, or elves, but they are capable of forming communities and even building some primitive structures. The thing is that their live spawn is far too short to allow them to gain proficiency in, for example, carpentry and masonry that would allow them to build and maintain any structure that's more complicated than a shack or a primitive animal pen – even if they were taught by someone or something much smarter."

Cranberry looked at Lairs and explained, showing off her knowledge on the subject. f𝘳𝚎𝐞we𝐛𝑛𝐨𝘃e𝘭.co𝘮

"That's the reason why they aren't counted amongst the intelligent races – because they live for at most six years their natural attention span deters them from learning any skill above the tier 1 ones? – even the goblin mages. Their rank-up versions, hobgoblins aren't much better in that regard and it's even more outrageous to mention champions, as they are fully offensive-oriented and can think only of destruction, not creation."

The red-haired girl continued, Rotte, In're, and Uresha were listening to her with wide eyes as she mentioned details that they weren't aware of, while Zombie, Shanks, and Lairs nodded, at her words.

"Now, think carefully, from the buildings we've seen when a group of goblins was returning from hunting – which one was the most surprising one?"

Cranberry smirked and suddenly quizzed the black-haired elf.

"W-which one...? Fuck... A-all of them...?"

Lairs flinched and blushed, embarrassed for apparently not paying as much attention to details as she should have.

"They all fucking looked properly maintained and all? As if the fucking goblins had the craftsmen to aid them?"

She looked to the side, nervously rubbing the back of her neck while scrambling for an answer.

"Good observation, but that wasn't the most astounding part."

Cranberry nodded and smiled at the black-haired elf who lowered her head in embarrassment anyway.

"Then, what was it...?"

Lairs fidgetted and asked curiously.

"The outhouse."

The red-haired girl looked the black-haired elven mage in the eyes and declared with a serious face.

"The... the fucking what...?"

Lairs shook her head and asked in disbelief.

"There was an outhouse in there."

Cranberry repeated, smiling at Lairs's confusion.

"The weirdest part about those goblins is how much they care about the hygiene. You noticed that the structures were properly maintained, but they were also clean. And that's not how normal goblins from our world are. Even if by some stroke of luck a goblin or hobgoblin ended up learning high-level construction skills, they would not learn that they should clean themselves and their surroundings. Hell, even king-rank goblins are filthy creatures. Hence, there's no need for them to ever bother constructing an outhouse in their settlement."

The red-haired girl explained.

"And before you ask – no there are no other types of monsters living there, just goblins, hobgoblins, a few champions, and something that might be a lord...? There's a life signature that carries the trace of Eternal's energy, but it is not a sigil monster."

"!!!!"

Zombie noticed Shanks opening his mouth and decided that it was a good place to share his observation.

"You could have started with that, you know...?"

The rat-faced man squinted his eyes and sighed.

"Is it strong?"

Cranberry made a concerned expression and asked – looking as if she was thinking deeply about something, most likely searching through Patience's memories in search of any clue that would be useful in their situation.

"Stronger than a champion marble troll at least. Actually, even the weakest goblin in that fort is around the same level as a moss troll."

"..."

Zombie nodded and said, making others go completely silent.

"...did... did you just say that the weakest goblin is almost as strong as a moss troll – goblin – a single goblin - is comparable to a moss troll?!"

Shanks gasped, taken aback, looking up at the blue undead ads if he lost his mind for spouting such nonsense.

"Yeah. Does that change anything...?"

Zombie smirked and scoffed at the flabbergasted thief.