There Was No Secret Organization to Fight with the World's Darkness so I Made One (In Exasperation)

Welcome to Underground

This 'Defeat Event' is a Service so Please Give it Your All

Part 1

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"Try giving him a verbal warning first."

Kaburagi-san said while blowing on her latte (which had a clumsily made dog for the art) to cool it down. She'd come to Amanoiwato on a weekday during the day to help me work out the details of the 'defeat event'. I tilted my head at her and rebutted her statement.

"He wouldn't have gotten so carried away in the first place if he had a good grasp on things and could be convinced with just words. Yesterday, he froze the water in the school's pond and turned part of it into a sword. Fortunately, Touka-chan immediately melted it. Touka-chan's warnings also go from right to left¹."

"Touka-chan is his classmate. Of course it's impossible for him to listen to her and take her seriously. It makes more sense for him to be told by an adult."

"It won't make him defiant – that is, he won't disapprove of an adult warning him?"

"He'll be more reluctant if he isn't told, but he'll still be reluctant even if told. Hey, Sago-san. When you were a child, wouldn't you have been fed up with an unpleasant adult who shouted at you without listening to your side of the story or listening to your opinion?"

"Ugh!"

It's Kaburagi-san's verbal attack! My heart has been fatally wounded!

Really though. Have I become a despicable adult who hates children that much without even realizing it? That's it. First and foremost, I must, in words, admonish Shouta-kun, and then lend an ear to his opinion. My apologies, Shouta-kun. It was wrong of me to not think things through and try to beat you up. Forgive me…

Well, if words are useless, then I won't hesitate will break his long nose² into pieces. There are no objections from Kaburagi-san.

◊

After school, as usual, Shouta-kun and Touka-chan arrived at Amanoiwato at the same time. Kaburagi-san called out,

"Shouta-kun, is everything alright?"

"… What?"

Kaburagi-san beckoned to him a little. It seems that Shouta-kun could sense a lecture incoming, so he cautiously sat at the table on the side facing Kaburagi-san. He poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table, and, with a loud *crack*, unhesitatingly used the cold air emitted from his hands to freeze half of it. This kid, he's become fucking addicted to using his superpower. Even if he didn't freeze it, the water in the pitcher already has ice in it, so it should be cold.

Kaburagi-san calmly admonished him, earnestly trying to get him to understand. Even teachers and parents wouldn't have been as kind and polite as she was. However, even though it makes things become a little awkward, Shouta-kun doesn't utter a single word of apology. Instead, he starts making excuses.

"I don't understand; why aren't we allowed to reveal our superpowers to the general public? Couldn't we become famous? We may get to appear on TV! Wouldn't we make money by charging appearance fees? We would be a really big deal, you know. After all, we're ESP'ers, real ESP'ers."

◊

That's your reasoning?

Watch the news more often. You don't know about the 'fame tax', do you? Your old classmates from elementary school could leak your embarrassing secrets to be broadcasted over the radio, you know? You'll absolutely want to die. Or at the very least, become unable to attend school. The reason that actors and other talent can appear to be dazzling is that they have an office supporting them from beneath. If Shouta-kun brazenly "comes out", he'll be ideal fodder. The secret organization Amaterasu will not provide backup for Shouta-kun if he becomes famous.

◊

Kaburagi-san started to open her mouth to argue against Shouta-kun's sloppy theory, but Shouta-kun quickly changed the subject to his favorite topic.

"Please listen to this; I did some calculations, you know? Since I started at 0.2°C and have a growth rate of 1.4 times every other day, so it’s possible for me to reach absolute zero in 44 days. Isn't that amazing? Isn't it the strongest superpower?"

As one would expect, this caused Kaburagi-san to smile wryly. I also got a good chuckle out of it. The strongest? What a joke. You can say that after you're able to at least do something like create a new ice age on Earth. Even if you're able to reach absolute zero, if you fight Kaburagi-san, for example, your heart will be stopped in 0 seconds. And if he fought me, he'd be worse than mincemeat. I'm at the very top, you know.

After that, Shouta-kun had no more decent excuses, but it also seemed that he was no longer seriously listening when Kaburagi-san tried multiple times to return to the discussion of his recent behavior. Since it seemed useless, Kaburagi-san eventually gave up.

Shouta-kun was unable to avoid the defeat event.

If he's going to be that way, fine then. There's an old Chinese saying that “hearing a hundred times is not as good as seeing once”³. Shall I go ahead and get a little violent from now on then?

Let's head right into the 'defeat confirmation event', otherwise known as the 'defeat event'.

◊

◊

Early October. On a chilly day when the leaves on the roadside trees have changed color and have started to fall, Touka-chan and Shouta-kun arrive at Amanoiwato as usual. Recently, Shouta-kun has started to increasingly get carried away and is acting like a delinquent that extorts money from underclassmen, though he (mostly) behaves himself when Touka-chan is nearby. While Shouta-kun is acting like an idiot, Touka-chan ignores him and reads her sutras. Even when things are unpleasant, she keeps a cool head and works on increasing her virtue. How resilient.

When the two people entered the bar, there was no one inside. I was rolling around on the bed of the hotel room in the nearby hotel I had evacuated to for the time being while monitoring their progress in the usual manner. Shouta-kun finally notices that Amanoiwato is empty today. Looking around in puzzlement, he asked Touka-chan,

"Why is no one here? Where's the bar-master?"

"He's gone to a fire insurance consultation."

"And Kaburagi-san?"

"She'll be gone for about three days, she's attending her conferment ceremony for becoming the Duchess of the duchy of Marineland."

"… Huh? What?"

"The conferment ceremony. She's becoming the Duchess of Marineland."

It took Shouta-kun 10 seconds to fully comprehend the words he was hearing. It wasn't something you would generally hear if you lived an ordinary life, after all.

"*Eto*, in other words, she's going to become a noble, right?"

"Yes."

"*Eeeeh*… isn't she Japanese? Are you kidding me…?"

Kaburagi-san is a hopeless romantic who's never forgotten her childhood dream of being a princess. I respect that. And now, when she returns, she'll be an actual 'princess'.

The mood's become a bit strange, but now it's time for the scene that leads into the event.

◊

Just when the pair were about to pull the wine bottle lever to open the entrance to the basement, the phone rang. The two exchanged glances, then looked at Amanoiwato's old-fashioned black phone⁴. Touka-chan said,

"I wonder if it's OK for us to answer."

"Should we? Isn't it dangerous?"

"But there's currently no one else here, and it may be urgent… 'Hello, this is Amanoiwato.'"

Touka-chan placed her hand on the receiver, then hesitated. But since the phone wouldn't stop ringing, she finally answered it. I made my artificial voice software read out what I had written, and set the timing so it would match without much delay.

"I sensed that the world's darkness had appeared. The location is Katsushika City⁵. It's already hunting those who are predisposed to having superpowers and killing and eating them to absorb their power. Enter into the underground sewer from the manhole behind the Katsushika City ward office. It ran away and is somewhere in that area. It must be killed. It's difficult for me to use my powers underground, so you won't have any backup or support. Well then, I wish you good luck."

There was a mysterious synthetic sound, then the call disconnected. Touka-chan looked at the receiver without a word. Shouta-kun impatiently asked,

"What is it?"

"It was the boss… at least, I think it was. The voice sounded synthetic. He said we need to kill the world's darkness that appeared in Katsushika City. Without any backup."

"Huh? The boss? Doesn't he just watch over everything and order us around?"

"It was faint, but while he was talking, I heard noises that sounded like explosions. I think the boss is fighting as well."

Oh, as expected of Touka-chan, she has excellent hearing. This ojisan is happy that you noticed that small detail. That was also produced synthetically.

◊

Once Touka-chan calmed down, she tried to get in touch with Kaburagi-san, but Kaburagi-san was eagerly looking forward to her conferment ceremony, and she left everything to do with the defeat event to me. She's in the middle of an airplane flight, so her phone is turned off with no connection. The only person left is the bar-master, but neither Touka-chan nor Shouta-kun have his contact info.

The fact that there are already victims (Note: There actually aren't any) is shocking news. And they may be increasing as time passes. Touka-chan and Shouta-kun are both exuding anxiety, but they decided to participate in the subjugation. They know that people need their help. Although Shouta-kun is still in basic training, he has been able to get his freezing ability to reach -10°C. It seems that although their opponent is a high-level being that is devouring ESP'ers in the making in order to make itself stronger, it was decided that they were mature enough to handle it.

Furthermore, Shouta-kun can do an insta-kill! He was overflowing with excitement and unfounded self-confidence. It seems that even if Touka-chan decides to abandon the mission, Shouta-kun will continue forward on his own. It's that sort of scene, you know.

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Footnotes:

1: 右から左へ (migi kara hidari he). Means that it goes in one ear and out the other. Essentially he completely ignores her.

2: 天狗っ鼻 (tengu hana). Means overly prideful or boastful. He's saying that he will forcibly knock Shouta-kun down a peg if he won't listen to him.

3: The original Chinese phrase is 百聞不如一見 (bǎiwén bùrú yījiàn). In Japanese, it's 百聞は一見に如かず (hyakubun wa ikken ni shikazu). Both mean the same thing. Equivalent to the saying "seeing is believing".

4: Probably referring to the "hotline" trope, although it's usually red (black has more of a 'secret agent' kinda vibe though). It's a direct line with no dial mechanism. ⇒

5: Katsushika is a special ward in Tokyo. It's next to Adachi, which is the ward Amanoiwato is in. ⇒ Wikipedia: Katsushika