To Love You Again

With the help of the little light coming from the slit of the blackout curtain, the child approached the bed carefully.

The room was in a mess. It was like a beast passed by in this room and wreak havoc. The child mentally noted to have the maids come here and clean the place up.

He arrived beside the bed and stared at the sleeping woman in the bed. Only when his mother was deep asleep could the child approach her closer like this.

His mother's hair was in disarray. Her face was pale, clearly anemic. Her brows were furrowed. Even she was sleeping, she was still troubled and having nightmares.

The beauty that this lady had in the past could not be seen in her fatigue face anymore.

The child slowly raised his hand and pushed the hair that blocked her mother's face. But in that process, his soft and small hand grazed his mother's cold skin.

It was then that he saw a purple mark on his mother's neck.

He tried to get closer to check. But a? pair of cold eyes suddenly opened. It was dazed at first, but recognizing the child who was only less than a meter away from her, she screamed.

"Why are you here?! Who let you in?!" She shouted like the child in front of her was not hers but a criminal who locked her here.

The child put down his hand and calmly speak, "I am here to check on you, Mother."

"I told you not to call me that! Get out!"

The child was unfazed. He seemed to be used to his other's outburst to him. He stared at the purple marks on his mother's neck.

He could not help but curiously ask, "Why do you have a bruise on your neck?"

The woman touched her neck. She shrieked like she had learned some cruel truth.

"I am alive?! Why I am alive?! Why?!"

The child suddenly understood what had transpired. He looked around the room.

He saw the upturned chair and the rope not far away.

His mother...had done it again.

His mother seemed to have a hobby of playing with death.

How many times was it that his mother tried to die?

When he was three, he witnessed for the first time how his mother loved to seek death.

Since it was his first time, he was taken aback and had nightmares about it for several days. But he got used to it now. He understood that his mother just loved chasing after death. Like how his grandfather and father expressed their love in a strange way. It might be painful at first, but he would get used to it later.

The child understood it then. This was 'love' and 'interest.'

After that incident, the child was sent here to check on her mother every certain time. He always witnessed how his mother would seek death every time he visits. However, his mother was a Qian whose instinct to survive was stronger than anyone.

His mother must have tied the rope on her neck and tried to hang herself. But when death was already looming, her instinct must have kicked in and helped her escape from death.

And every time his mother realized that she failed, she would wail and vent it out on him.

The young Ming Zhi Yi knew that his mother wanted death the most. And since she failed, she must be really in a bad mood.

The child thought about it for a while. He then walked towards the chair and the rope then picked them up. His little body dragged the chair with the rope in his little hands. It took him a while to complete the process. But with great effort, he was able to bring them in front of his mother.

The young Ming Zhi Yi's intentions were good. That was to help her mother achieve what she desire.

"Mother...If you are having a hard time, I will help you." He handed the rope back to her. "I can watch over you and make sure you don't fail this time around."

He was prepared to help his mother, his mother would appreciate it, right?

But instead of appreciating him, his mother's eyes turned crazed.

"Don't come here! You are disgusting! I never bore a monster like you!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, spreading her saliva on the child's face.

The child just stayed rooted. He did not understand why his mother got angry again. He just intended to help. Was it wrong?

What he could do to make his mother happy?

"...I was wrong. I just want to help mothe- you." The child was obedient, he changed his address of her in the middle.

"You want to help me? You can't help me! If you really want to help me, then disappear! Or get me back the engagement I have with the Young Master Lu!"

The child did not understand. He just looked dumbly at his mother.

Suddenly, like someone turned a switch, the woman stopped yelling.

"...Right. I still have you. I still have you...." Her tone was a bit doubtful at first, then it become a confirmation.

The look in her eyes changed. The gaze that she directed at him that always had a hint of disgust turned bright. Like she found an oasis in her hellish world.

Her crazed face suddenly showed a smile. But that smile somewhat looked deranged.

With her hair in a mess, she beckoned to her child to come closer, "Come here, my child. Come here." Her voice was sickeningly sweet.

The child was taken aback first. This was the first time his mother talked to him without shouting. He did not hesitate and come closer to her.

The woman smelled a bit. But he did not care. His mother's cold finger brushed on his hair.

"Mother shouted on you a lot, right? Don't be too upset about it. Mother loves you that's why she shouted at you. You love your mother, right? You want to help me, right?"

The child did not feel any warmth from her gestures or from her words. However, those words brought a realization to him.

His mother actually loved him?

It was great news. He thought his mother despised him. It turned out, his mother had different ways to express her love.

"I understand. I will not be upset. I want to help mother." The child's voice was childish but dull.

"Good. Good." The woman brushed the young child's tender neck. "I want to tell you a story. Listen well and behave, hmm?"

"Yes, mother. Ming Zhi Yi listens well."

Thus his mother recounted her sickening love story and how she was betrayed and got cheated. She deeply emphasized how a witch cursed her to be unwell and suffered a life worst than hell.

The sickening story was repeated many times during his visit. It was like she wanted to engrave this story into her child's memory. At the end of her story, she would always remind him.

"That's why child, you have to grow up fast and help your mother take revenge. If I can't gain his love, then he and his wife should not be happy either!"

Then the woman would continue to suggest different ways to torture the couple to her child. 𝒇𝑟e𝙚𝑤𝙚𝐛𝗻𝐨ν𝚎𝘭.c𝐨m

The young Ming Zhi Yi listens well. His memory was good, so whenever his mother asked him to retell the story and what he would do once he grow up, he would recite her words like a robot. This earned him a cold pat on his head and dull words.

"You listened well. Remember to fulfill it in the future."

This bonding between the mother and child was going well at first. But sometimes, like the switch was flipped, his mother would become deranged and would suddenly lash out at him. Either choking him or squeezing his shoulders with anger and hatred.

She switched many times. Sometimes, she was like a loving mother who would tell stories and plan for his future. Oftentimes, she would become insane and attacked him.

But even though she left bruises on the child's body, the child did not show any remorse or complaints. He understood and accepted it.

This was how his mother showed her love to him. Like how his grandfather and father showed their love through the heavy strike of their hands.

Ah, it was great to know that his mother loved him.

He does really have a perfect loving family.