Toaru Majutsu no Index SS

“I don’t know if it’s due to the Foehn phenomenon or El Niño or what, but nights in summertime London are just so damn hot and humid it feels like I’m gonna die.”

“...You need to watch how you speak, Tanaka-kun.”

“Yeah, but it’s still too fucking hot.”

Kamijou Touya listened wearily to the words of the new employee who looked like the only effort towards professionalism he took was to take out his piercings.

“You’re the one that said you wanted to go for a drink after we finished with our work.”

“Yeah, and we’ve been wandering from place to place cause you keep whining about every bar that has women in it, Kamijou-san.”

“...Have you thought at all about the fact that I’m married? Or are you trying to destroy my relationship, you damn bachelor.”

“Keh. How can you say that after you run into a school girl with wavy blonde hair walking around a corner and then lead a blind nun with ringlet curls by holding hands only to trip and dive straight into her tits? And what was with that girl yesterday? Even if it’s July, that wasn’t very much clothing.”

“Well, that girl was wandering around near the train station, so I called out to her thinking she might be lost. I wonder what was with her.”

Tanaka wasn’t listening to what Touya was muttering. Basically, what he was saying would only infuriate a bachelor. Tanaka couldn’t believe that someone like Touya had such a young and beautiful wife.

“I need a drink because it’s so fucking hot, but finding a bar is just making me even hotter.”

“Fine, let’s just go to the next place we find.”

“Well, it at least has to be somewhere we can sit down.”

The two set off with that vague objective, but the bar they ended up entering as if they were sleepwalking had a surprisingly delicious dark colored local beer. They chugged down the beer with some fried fish and, before they knew it, some drunk was talking to them.

“Yeah and they were saying not to cut down the trees because it was bad for the earth. But those people won’t get paid and can’t support their families if they don’t cut ‘em down. Like hell those people are gonna listen to some ecological moral speech. People do things because of greed! It’s greed! So to protect the environment, you have to make a way that those people can support their families without cutting down the trees! Those dumbasses just don’t understand!!”

“...Um, who are you?”

“Hm?? Misaka. Misaka Tabigake. Ah, fried foods are all about the flavor. Yeah, it’s more of a kid’s kinda flavor, but damn it’s good!”

Misaka-san introduced himself and then stuck his fork in someone else’s fried fish. He looked like the kind of dandy gentleman who would normally be in a high-class black-colored car, but apparently the alcohol in the local beer had done quite a number on him.

“And I’m Japanese! We’re the people who are always yelling to cut down the trees so we can build the wooden houses we love so much! How the hell am I supposed to go up to the workers in the Amazon and tell them they’re wrong!? Quit yelling at me about global warming! Don’t act like you’re better ‘an me when you don’t even change the setting of your air conditioner, much less turn it off altogether! If you don’t like it, find a way to protect everyone while raising your precious trees!!”

“U-um, Kamijou-senpai? What’s with this drunk?”

“...By the way, what jobs do you two have?”

“Oh, we work in the counter measure group that prevents purchases for our company.”

“Ah, what? You’re the company president!? Hey, wait a second, I’m a person that points out what the world lacks. Anyway, the Amazon is a bit hot right now, so will you listen to me?”

Misaka-san kept going on like that and a sigh came from a table farther back. Touya looked back wondering if they were being too much of a disturbance. He saw a blonde-haired blue-eyed lady wearing a tight suit. He didn’t know if it was intentional, but the way she was drinking alone in the dim lighting and her weary expression made her seem to have a pink glow.

Suddenly, Tanaka turned his attention away from Misaka-san and his back straightened.

(Oh, no. I know what that reaction means.)

Tanaka spoke before Touya could do anything.

“I’m gonna talk to her! I’m totally gonna do it!!”

“Don’t. You’ll be shot down in 2 seconds.”

Touya started laughing, but then Misaka-san suddenly spoke up.

“No, he should be fine with her.”

“?”

Touya looked at Misaka-san’s face in wonder and Misaka-san responded with no interest on his face.

“After all, she looks like a whore.”

Touya and Tanaka simultaneously did a spit-take. Touya pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the odd sweat that had suddenly appeared on his face.

“W-well, I suppose you could say he’d be fine, but that also makes it not fine at all. The law is pretty clear here!”

“But this isn’t Japan.”

Touya realized he was right.

That was when Tanaka put on a gentlemanly expression, filled his chest with determination, and stood up.

“I win.”

“You win what!?”

“Heh heh. Kamijou-san, as a married man, you can’t do anything here! But for a bachelor who doesn’t even have a girlfriend, it’s a different story!! I have the complete victory here!! Ha ha ha. Damn, this feels good! I’m gonna get back at you for showing off that young beautiful wife of yours!!”

After shouting that, the new employee dashed for the table in the back. The young beauty looked at the approaching Asian with suspicious eyes and he got right down to the topic at hand without so much as a greeting.

“How much!?” he said in English.

Immediately, the blonde-haired blue-eyed woman with a nice body formed a fist while still sitting in her chair and swung it directly forwards. With a thick noise, her fist sunk into Tanaka’s crotch. He doubled over on the ground. Touya and Misaka-san covered their faces and Tanaka crawled back to them because he couldn’t get up and walk.

Tanaka then yelled at Misaka-san.

“Sh-she was just an OL, you drunk!!”

“Oh? Odd, I was sure she was a whore,” said Misaka-san carelessly and the young beauty glared at him. Apparently she understood Japanese.

For some reason, Touya started bowing down in apology. He felt a cold sweat coming on and drank another beer.

“Ordinary corporate warriors like us shouldn’t be having these kinds of adventures.”

“Is that so?” Tanaka responded.

“Talking to a prostitute in a rundown bar in a stylish city like London seems pretty dangerous to me. Not even the protagonist of a manga that’s always getting in trouble would do something as dangerous as this. It’s like stepping out on a suspension bridge when the ropes are about to snap.”

“Oh, that’s right. Do you guys know about gemstones? It’s a different system from Academy City.” f𝘳ℯℯ𝙬𝒆𝚋𝐧oν𝑒Ɩ.c𝑜𝙢

Touya continued speaking instead of paying any heed to the drunk.

“We shouldn’t be sticking our heads in places that could end up being a lot of trouble. Doing things we aren’t used to is just asking for something to go wrong. You don’t want to get wrapped up in all sorts of trouble, do you? Just look at my son. That’s no laughing matter. It’s quite scary really.”

“But I want to meet someone and that isn’t going to happen if I don’t have a bit of an adventure.”

“You don’t need to make a gamble. You’re young, so you can wait to meet someone in an ordinary way.”

“But meeting a beauty is out of the ordinary in itself. I’m betting you did something to get where you are! It makes me want to punch you.”

Touya laughed and then felt a sudden tug on his sleeve. He looked over and saw a thinly-dressed girl in her late teens. She stared Touya in the eye without speaking.

“Who’s that?”

“Oh, it’s the lost girl that was wandering around the station the other day when you were gone. I called out...to her...and...”

Touya trailed off.

He wasn’t looking at the girl’s oddly sexy face or the feminine body lines that could clearly be seen through the thin material of her clothes. He was looking towards the mysterious girl’s right hand.

There was something shining around her thin wrist.

It was neither a watch nor a bracelet.

It was a pair of handcuffs.

The other end of the handcuffs was connected to the handle of a tough-looking attaché case she was holding in her other hand.

“Oh,” said Misaka-san who had been left alone and he pointed at her. “A gemstone. You don’t see that every day.”

He uttered that mysterious word.

Touya had a bad feeling about what was to come and then the door to the bar was kicked in.

A mysterious group of men dressed in black entered.

However, those men were not the most dangerous ones.

With an amazing noise, the girl took out the entire group of men in one blow.

“Patrons of this bar that has become an area of danger,” calmly spoke the girl in her late teens without turning around. “I seem to have gotten you involved in a worrisome problem, but do not fear. I will ensure that you survive.”

Kamijou Touya didn’t stick around to listen to what she said.

He disappeared through the bar’s back door at Mach speed. This was one of his management strategies as a global corporate warrior who had visited areas of strife in South America. His survival instincts were nothing to laugh at. He was arguing with Tanaka-kun as they ran away together.

“See!? It’s exactly like I said! Ordinary corporate warriors like us shouldn’t try to go beyond our limits! I told you it was dangerous to go for things that are out of the ordinary!!”

“But, Kamijou-san, you were the one that ultimately brought in the trouble! This is why I thought being with you was dangerous! Your wife would cry if she knew about all the delicious trouble you get wrapped up in everywhere you go!!”

“Well, maybe none of this had to do with that girl and that OL you talked to was the daughter of that mysterious group’s boss!”

“If that were the case, it’s possible this could still play out as a lovely romantic comedy, but look! That girl came with us.”

“Damn! So she was definitely the cause!?”

Looking behind him, he saw the mysterious girl with handcuffs and attaché case.

Those corporate warriors continued to get wrapped up in more and more trouble and, in the end, they faked their deaths by blowing up an unmanned Cessna airplane as it flew through the air. However, they had something to say before the story moved that far along.

“Don’t worry!! If we work together, we’ll make it through somehow!!”

“No! There’s no real way we can win this!!”

“Ha ha ha. You’re not with your mommy anymore kid!!”

“No! How can you take this so lightly!?”

And like that the exciting London night wore on.