Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai

At my back, a cushion made for sleeping, a comfortable softness coming from Iroha’s cleavage on my chest. My head couldn’t even keep up and separate whose heartbeat I felt so painfully apparent now. Maybe it was a mix of the both of ours.

In the midst of that, I could hear the sound of a ribbon loosening. Iroha opened up her previously bound-together hair, growing even more defenseles than before. Almost like a maiden who had made up her determination. While realizing that my body was starting to burn up in intense heat, I had Iroha’s face right at my neck, revealing her reddened cheeks, intoxicated eyes, as we perfectly met in eye contact.

What is that look? Just what are your eyes trying to tell me? Which one is it?

It’s like I’m forced to haggle my doubts. I have two cards in my hands now. [Love] and [Lie], and if I catch the right one, it’s my win. If not, it’s my complete defeat. Right now, the card Iroha is clearly teasing me with is [Love]. What would happen if I took her serious, and tried finding a response for myself?

[Just kidding! I was teasing you~ Ehehe, did I make your heart beat faster~?]

She would bombard me with her annoying behaviour, using this as material to tease me for the next month, leaving me completely defenseless.

However, what if the impossible happened, and she was actually serious?

React to it with utmost seriousness, and finding a proper response would be the way of a proper man. Even if it was all just a ruse to play with me, I would know for myself that I made the right choice as a human, and could live with the embarrassment. I mean, if she really went ‘Just kidding~’ after all this, I’d definitely be irritated, and I’d make sure to have her pay by giving her a barrage of 18 hits on her acupuncture points.

That takes me back to the time when I barged into Iroha’s room to apologize. The day when the confession of Mashiro arrived at my phone, the day Iroha’s mood got wrecked the most, even though it was just a detrimental event for the [5th Floor Alliance].

Even if it cost me my own youth, I would become Iroha’s own producer–and create the best possible work environment for the comrades in our group—on that day, I yet again renewed this promise to none other than Iroha herself.

That’s why I cannot be swept along this time either. However Iroha’s own feelings may be, for me, who has given up on my own youth, I cannot give in. Until now, every time I was about to find one piece of my youth in something, I could cut that away with calm objective thinking, giving myself a reason to avert myself from it. Everything is for my promise with Ozu, Iroha, as well as Sumire.

But, the only thing that made this possible was the reality of me not having someone I was interested in, or had feelings for. On the other side, I never felt any serious affection coming from the people around me either. That being said, none of this had ever happened, so I would not know if that premise would break, and my iron will would crumble, or not.

…Huh? You don’t understand what I’m getting at? Alright, then let’s take all this reasoning and logical arguments off, and let me give you a straight ball.

I might actually have feelings for Iroha.

I could feel the blood of my entire body boil, this lone hypothesis seemingly holding an insane amount of cogency. If that was actually the case, then there was no need to go to the extreme and try to guess Iroha’s real feelings. No matter how she feels about me, I am me. This is about my own feelings, and I have to deal with them. If I really had feelings for Iroha, then—

“I would be very much troubled!”

“……Eh?”

Keeping my eyes shut tightly, I softly forced away Iroha’s body. Even while trying to tear her off, the soft sensation of her two bulges on my chest was poison for my brain, but it was far better than having to endure this obscene situation for a second longer.

“Let me be straight! Being locked in her with you in this indecent atmosphere is very troublesome for me!”

“I…Is that so…”

Being taken aback by my words, it took Iroha a second to grasp them, as she showed a disheartened expression. Suppressing the desire to embrace her right now and push her down once again, I spoke up.

“D-Don’t get the wrong idea. I’m not saying that you have no charm as a woman or anything. Rather, the desire to embrace you keeps tickling my limbs that it’s getting close to the past of no return—”

“O-Okay?”

“—This is just a common opinion, okay! Every normal boy in Japan would feel that way, see!”

I seemed to have overdone it with the praise there, as even Iroha was visibly bewildered. In a panic, I tried to fix my misstep.

“H-Huh, so Senpai, you’re saying that, [in a general sense], I am cute.”

“Y-Yeah, just generally speaking, okay?”

“That my cuteness is high enough to exceedingly affect society.”

“I never said anything high-brow like that.”

“Cuteness having received definition from the field of political administrative theory!”

“Never said that. What’s with this forced intelligent linkage.”

“H-Huh, is that so~ So you like Iroha-chan that much, Senpai? But it can’t be helped, my cuteness accounts as the infrastructure of public works.”

“…Why have you been acting all weird for a while now?”

Her tone sounds close to her usual annoying attitude, but her choice of words is greatly off from the usual Iroha. That being said, being at the top of her year in terms of grades, Iroha’s brain could probably keep up with a conversation on such level.

Still, looking at the contents of what she’s even saying, it makes it apparent that the question from before really was just an extension of her annoying behaviour…right? Yeah, that must be it, without a doubt. Though, her eyes are looking like they’re spinning…is this?

“Are you…flustered?”

“Fuah?! W-What are you talking about, Senpai, you’re just excessively self-conscious!”

“Is that so? That…might be it, yeah.”

Iroha is definitely acting weird. Normally, she wasn’t the type to bring up such an argument. However, seeing her in this state of confusion, I managed to get my own cool back, able to calmly think again. I could still feel an oddly accelerated heartbeat inside my chest, but this was enough to get my thoughts under control again—

“To be completely honest, for a second, no, for a fragment of a second, I thought ‘It might be fine to get swept along this atmosphere’ you know…”

“Senpai…so, you actually…”

“But, that is no good. Absolutely no good.”

Because I am undoubtedly unexperienced in this sort of thing, and I would have been done in by Iroha’s [Presence of a Woman], without a second needed to rethink this. I normally try to hide it with my reasoning power, but I still am an adolescent boy, certain desires slumbering inside my head. Needless to say, this is completely unrelated to how I actually feel about Iroha, so calm down.

“In order to get the [5th Floor Alliance] under the wings of HoneyPlay, I made a promise with President Tsukinomori that I have to keep at all costs. Until Mashiro graduates from high school, I am her lover. I cannot do anything irresponsible here with you…Moving only at the desire to help the [5th Floor Alliance] is also a promise I made to you, after all.”

Taking our current relationship and situation into consideration, this is the expected conclusion. Throwing away my youth, not living my days like a normal student would, filled with love affairs, I just headed towards my goal at full force. That was for Ozu’s sake, for Iroha’s sake, for Sumire’s sake—and most importantly, for my own sake. Not to mention that I rejected Mashiro with this exact logic in mind. If I were to give in now, I would be insulting the confession she mustered up all her courage for. That’s why this time around, I have to move accordingly to protocol, just like an AI would when encountering a bug. If there was one different thing from usual, then—

“You really are cute. Ending up with someone as cute as you, in a place like this, of course I’d get horny, and I’d get close to just giving in to the flow—But, rather than a moment of pleasure, I have something much more important.”

“…Ahaha~ Well, that’s what I figured.”

“I know that it’s the worst a man can say to a woman though.”

“And right you are with that. A man who doesn’t understand a woman’s heart should just die! is probably what Mashiro-senpai would tell you.”

“She actually does rather frequently.”

“Ahahaha~ But, seeing that you prioritize your promise with me, I will praise you this once.”

“Quite the complicated feeling to be praised and patted on the head by you, I can’t lie.”

“Like I was your mother? I heard that men who are good at their job love this sort of baby-playing with their loved ones.”

“I didn’t need to hear such a statistic…”

Though to be honest, the warmth transmitted from Iroha’s hand is actually awfully calming, and I could see myself giving in to just being spoiled. For a while, Iroha continued to pat me on the head, when she suddenly brought her mouth to my ear.

“What a helpless Senpai you are. Though, that’s what I like about you~”

“…!”

Iroha said so in a teasing manner, showing a heartfelt grin. From that annoying laugh, I could see signs of her normal condition again, but the way it sounded was entirely off.

‘Like’. Often thrown around easily, words as thin as paper. With a high probability, she didn’t mean it in all earnesty, but it still is a dose lethal enough to have my emotions shake. To put it in less eloquent terms, my heart skipped a beat. This has never happened before, so how? Why now? Is it really because I actually have feelings for this annoying woman?

…No, it’s too early. I can’t say for sure. My hypothesis that I like Iroha still stands, but there’s no definite proof to it, nothing to ascertain this. And, if that was really the case, then I’d feel really bad for Mashiro, like seriously.

Think about it.

It’s true that my heart is beating like crazy for quite some time now, but does a person’s heart only beat this fast during a romantic situation? Riding on Japan’s fastest roller coaster would get everyone’s heart pumping, and what about some high quality haunted house experience? Of course your heart would beat faster than usual. With just this sensation alone, you could not proof that there is any romantic emotion evolved. Otherwise it would mean that all amusement parks would create one-type couples.

What if some old man, wearing full-body tights, were to jump out in front of you as you walked down a street at night? At first, you’d definitely feel your heartbeat accelerate, but that is just a reaction induced by the shock, followed by a sensation of fear. Hence, just taking a slightly accelerated heartbeat as a sign of romantic feelings is highly inappropriate.

“D-Don’t tease me too much, okay…This atmosphere really is no laughing matter…”

“Ehehe, I managed to trouble Senpai~”

“Y-You…”

“What’s the big deal~ You could show me a Senpai like just now a bit more often, you know. What comes around, goes around, right?” Iroha stuck out her tongue at me, and showed a teasing smile.

Seeing that I spot weird sparkling effects with every single annoying action of hers clearly shows that I’m seriously ill.

“Anyway, give it up now. We’re gonna spend our night normally here…Alright?”

“Okaaay~”

As Iroha separated her body with a disappointed pout, she sat on one corner of the bed, flipping her legs up and down. Seeing that I avoided a first bridal night, I was relieved. Seriously, I’m so glad nothing happened.

“Still…Now I’m wide awake.”

“Can’t exactly have a sound sleep in a situation like this~ My eyes aren’t tired at all. Take responsibility, and do something interesting~”

“Don’t ask for the impossible. I’m not some entertainer on TV, so I don’t have a skill like that.”

Holding a worthless conversation like this, we got back into our normal groove, allowing me to relax again. Though Iroha’s fragrance was still carried over to my nose with every motion she took, it couldn’t be compared to the lush stream of emotions that assaulted me before. The two of us were just sitting in this unusual residence, side by side, exchanging words in this atmosphere.

“That reminds me, Senpai. There is one thing I was wondering about Sumire-chansensei and the [5th Floor Alliance].” Iroha spoke up.

“Ohh, that’s unexpected. What is it?”

“You persuaded every member to join the [5th Floor Alliance], I know that much, but…”

“Phrasing. That makes me sound some some shitty bastard who threatened everybody.”

“Thinking about it, I never heard what kind of promises you formed with everyone. I do know that you promised Sumire-chansensei she would be able to work as a full-fledged illustrator under HoneyPlay, not forced to work as a teacher anymore. But, why would she even be able to stop working as a teacher after she joined HoneyPlay? Isn’t she being restricted by her family?”

“Ahh, now that you say it, I tried to avoid that topic for a while.”

Built on an unreliable, and also uncertain ground, a rather worrisome castle, that is the [5th Floor Alliance]. Leaving aside Makigai Namako, everyone is carrying quite the heavy background circumstances. Well, they might not seem as heavy from an outsider’s perspective. That being said, for the people involved, they are something to completely break down their way of desired living, harboring various dangers, so I was avoiding it.

“I guess I can tell you about Sumire-sensei. Whatever the result may be, the conclusion will come today.”

“So you’re going to take care of the problem that is coming from the main family?”

“No, not that. I’ll take care of Sumire-sensei’s own problem.”

“…Is there a difference in that?”

“What do you think her biggest problem is?”

I returned a question with one of my own. Iroha didn’t complain about it, and just fell into a deep thought, only to lift up her head and give an immediate response.

“She’s a teacher on top of being a shotacon!”

“Correct! …But this time I’m serious, so that’s not quite it.”

“Ehhh?”

“It’s her habit of running away. Instead of facing difficulty, she tries to get away from the problem.” f𝙧𝒆𝚎𝑤e𝚋𝓷o𝘷𝗲l.c𝐨m

“Murasaki Shikibu-sensei’s favorite party trick [I’ll get serious after the deadline passed!]…wait, so it’s still a gag! What was that about being serious this time?!”

“Now now, wait a second. It’s true that this is mostly acting as a daily comedic relief.”

Just by imagining the currently on-going household search of the Kageishi main residence makes me narrow my eyes in worry. It’s true that you might think I’m talking about something ridiculous. The gods watching our story up from above would probably agree on that opinion. That being said—

“That’s the essence of it. The problem Sumire-sensei has to deal with.”

“Senpai, no matter how I think about it, I can’t see anything serious in there!”

“Basically, the idea that her family has this code, which forces her to become a teacher, is actually just her assumption.”

“Ehhh?! But, her family was really strict in that regard, wasn’t it? They had me wear these clothes, and force the two of us to participate in this ritual.” Iroha lifted up her long, white sleeves to proof her point.

“Protecting the Kageishi Family’s tradition and Sumire-sensei obeying that isn’t the same, right?”

“Hmmmm?”

“Who cares about the idea and tradition of the family. In today’s Japan, where human rights are valued highly, there is no need to be restricted to some old traditions of a family who has roots a few hundred years back.”

“No no no. History and tradition and family circumstances aren’t something that you can just easily abandon.”

“This is a country with a constitutional government. Nothing has more value than the laws we have.”

“It hurts me to admit that it’s absolutely logical. I mean, you’re right, but still…”

Even though it’s reasonably easy to understand, your emotions are fighting against it—is what Iroha probably wanted to say, but couldn’t find the right words. I can’t blame her. Even if what I’m saying is entirely correct, it can be hard to accept such a dry truth.

“That being said, Sumire-sensei is failing to easily make that distinction. She probably knows that. We’re just talking based on logic here. The legal side of things.”

“So then…”

“What makes this difficult is that it turned into an emotional problem. What if Sumire-sensei, who had a bad habit of running away out of fear and being frightened—No, even Murasaki Shikibu-sensei—what if she had a giant supporter behind her?”

“Ah…! It would make her feel more safe and relaxed! If it was an offer from a company working on a global scale like HoneyPlay, then…!”

“Exactly. This is a treatment.”

Give her a big chance that held enough worth for her to bet her life on it. Laying the table for her, she can make up her mind herself. With this chance, Kageishi Sumire can fight against the essential problem restricting her, the identity of the shackles holding her down.

“So the reason to be strict on her illustrations…”

“One important lesson to correct her bad habit of running away from things. If she could overcome this problem even without entering HoneyPlay, then that would take care of the case with Shikibu.”

“I see…That takes care of the doubt I had for so long!”

“We weren’t working for that long yet, but…What doubt?”

“About the update on [The Night The Black Goat Screamed]. Even though Sumire-chansensei would always butcher the deadlines, the game’s update would always come out on time. I figured you probably just put them in last, but…”

“Ahh, that? We put up the schedule of the deadlines to answer this habit of hers, because I knew she wouldn’t be making it in time. In the comical, as well as the serious sense, she can’t be changed in a day after all.”

Putting buffer on buffer in the schedule. With that, I could fix Sumire’s habit of avoiding things, while also preparing the treatment that is having her work under HoneyPlay at the same time.

“Ohhhh…You really were thinking about this a lot, Senpai…I had no idea.”

“I guess.”

“How do I say it, you’re so amazing. Can’t believe your head still works.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Don’t glare at me~ It’s just, you normally wouldn’t get this invested in someone else’s life.”

“I wasn’t doing any of that. Nor am I being the nice guy here. It’s just that we can both use each other.”

“That’s a bit of an inconsistency, isn’t it? If you’re just going to use her, you could have just kept your current relationship as vague as possible.”

“…Well, it’s that, you know. Uhhh…keeping a monopoly on her like this allows me to get the resources with better confidence, I guess?”

“Doing illustrations as a side-business is pretty much the norm, isn’t it. Even so, you’re going out of your way to fix her bad habit of avoiding trouble, trying to give her [freedom], this really doesn’t sound like it would come from an efficiency freak like you~” Iroha grinned, as she looked up at me.

Really, what an annoying woman. Always trying to read someone else’s heart.

“You’re just too kind, Senpai. Picking this day with such timing to solve Sumire-chansensei’s problem. What if it really works out?”

“Nothing bad about that. If we can solve it right here and now, it means that our RTA (Real Time Attack) was a success.”

“Senpai, do you think I’m an idiot or something? I already caught on, you know?”

“…Tch.”

I really hate clever brats like you.

“If Sumire-chansensei’s problem disappears here and now, then she will lose her reason to aim for HoneyPlay, right? Until now, it was all a side-business, and you managed to get her into the [5th Floor Alliance] because you grabbed her by her weakness. If she becomes a full-time illustrator…if she really becomes free in that sense…isn’t that a problem for you, Senpai?”

“Can you not get so sharp suddenly after acting the airhead all the time…”

That being said, I caught on to this paradox a long time ago. I tried not actively see it, but Makigai Namako’s editor, Kanaria, gave me a strong push and forced me to accept it. Seeing those who hold indefinite talent, yet unable to fully use this potential because of some idiotic circumstances, I get this desire to do something about it. For that, I would take the most efficient method at my disposal, and founded the [5th Floor Alliance] based insane egoism.

However, with these exceedingly egoistic measures, and yet again also working towards the flourishing of someone else’s talents, eventually, my methods and goal would clash.

“Sumire-chansensei’s freedom, or benefit for the [5th Floor Alliance]. Which one is more important, Senpai?”

“That’s…”

Pink rays of light filled this shrine, it’s interior scent typical Japanese. Really not the right mood for a heavy topic like this.

“Even if you hesitate to say it, I already know the answer. Because you are a good person, Senpai.”

“…I just told you that, in this country, human rights are the highest order. That’s not only the case for her family and herself, but for me as well. The one to chose will be Sumire alone. I have no right to speak for her.”

“Basically, it’s Sumire-chansensei first, is it?”

“No, I still prioritize the [5th Floor Alliance]. I told everyone that they shouldn’t expect any excessive goodwill from me, right? …That’s just how it is.”

Don’t expect any reward. I will do the same. If you don’t have any high hopes, any expectations, you can’t be betrayed.

“Really, there’s no need for such a twisted point of view! Trying to look like the bad guy doesn’t get you popular!”

“That’s exactly why I’m not popular.”

“Grrr…Hyau?!”

“I’ve accepted that fact, and—wait, what was that voice just now?”

I felt like I heard the voice of a squashed frog coming from Iroha. I’d love to talk to the person who brought forth this metaphor, and why of all things he had to crush the frog to death, but that’s not important right now.

“Iroha? …What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing at all.”

“? If you say so.”

Iroha showed me a stiff, almost forced smile, as she gazed around the room in a rather frantic manner. And then, her face turned pale.

“N-No way…there is none…!”

“What is?”

“No no no no, they can’t be serious, right? It has to be hidden somewhere. Ah, it might be outside…!”

With rather worrisome speed, Iroha walked around the love shrine to look for something. Putting on her wooden clogs to step outside, she quickly returned, her face even more pale than before.

“It’s…not here…”

Her face was distorted by despair. Sweat ran down her head like a waterfall. Shortly after that, her facial color changed yet again, from red to blue and even purple—Almost like a traffic light.

—Something is definitely off with her.

“Are you not feeling well? Here, let me—”

“D-Don’t touch me!”

“O-Okay? …This actually hurts quite a bit, you know.”

“N-No, it’s not like I hate Senpai or anything…it’s just…well…” Iroha started fidgeting with her entire body, rubbing her thighs together in a rather arousing fashion.

“Seriously, what happened?”

Iroha looked like she was hesitating to speak up, but apparently finally gave up, and slowly opened her mouth.

“We were so serious before…I’m sorry for ruining the mood…”

“I don’t really get it, but this face of despair really doesn’t fit you. You cannot throw away hope until the bitter end. Once you give up, it’s game over, is what was once said in a famous manga.”

“Senpai…!”

Iroha sunk to the ground, with both her hands on the floor, as she spoke in a requesting tone.

“I need to…visit the toilet…”

…No, isn’t that actually pretty serious of a problem?

「I heard that girls often get the desire to urinate when they are together with the person they like. Is this enough to put you at ease? You always look for a physical proof of her affection after all」

「A love starting from a realization born through such a stupid fact is too shitty for my taste, so I’m gonna act like I didn’t hear that」