Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai

“I’m at my limit. My willpower is about to run out, so let me take a break.”

“It’s too early to talk like some sumo grand champion who has fought for 21 years, Senpai. Aren’t you just lacking endurance because you’re constantly working?”

“It’s because you’re heavy.”

“Again with zero delicacy at all, you failure of a man, haha!”

Having been carrying Iroha on my back as we went our way down the mountain, I saw a rocky place nearby that looked perfect to take a break, so I had Iroha sit down there. Though I would have loved to retort on Iroha’s assumption that my endurance was the problem of it all, getting angry now would drain my energy even further, so I just ignored her instead.

Opening a bottle I bought from the love shrine before we separated, I had the mineral water run down my dry throat. That alone made me feel much more vitalized again. Water really is the greatest beverage to us humans.

On a side note, this vending machine at the love shrine actually had other drinks inside of it, but I thoughtfully chose water. I mean, there’s basically only water in my fridge besides the tomato juice packs for Iroha. I tend to drink coffee or black tea from time to time, but water is cheaper, and has a better effect on my body.

Taking the theory of hamburgers being the most delicious food, water would be the most delicious beverage…Well, I’m aware that not everybody might agree with me.

“Mm.”

“Mm? Ahh…you want some as well?”

Naturally, considerate how I was, I wanted to hand her an unopened bottle.

“Mmm~ Mmm!”

“So you don’t want a sip? What the hell is going on with you…”

Completely ignoring the hand with the bottle I stretched out towards her, she instead stared at my left hand. Or to be precise, the bottle I had just used to fill my body with some more water.

“…You want this one?”

“Mm.”

Her lips tightly pursed together, Iroha didn’t speak a word, but I still kinda figured out what she was aiming at.

“Why? A fresh one is better, isn’t it.”

“Mmm…Mufufufufu~”

“C-Can you stop acting so gross.”

Being creeped out, I only carefully moved my left hand to hand over the bottle. But, wait? Wouldn’t this be an indirect kiss then? Is she trying to tease me about that? Like ‘You wanted to have an indirect kiss with me that badly, Senpai?!’ or something?

But, my thoughts were lacking behind my actions, and I had already handed the bottle to Iroha.

“Thank you very much~ Mmm…Phew, that felt good~”

“…Huh?”

I mentally prepared myself for her annoying act, but that never came. So it was just a normal indirect kiss, but neither of us were conscious of it?

N-No, don’t get careless. What did she do? She…didn’t want to have an indirect kiss with me, did she? Ah, crap, I just unconsciously gulped. Shit, as of right now, I’m in no condition for this. I get emotional by every small thing.

For now, I’ll take another sip and try to calm down, I thought to myself, as I opened the new bottle, moving it to my mouth.

“Senpai~ Mm.”

“Huh?”

Iroha used her body to cover the bottle she had just used to take a sip, and now stretched out her hand for the other one. Is she telling me to hand over the new one I just opened?

“I mean, I just gave you one, didn’t I?”

“But I want to drink from that one as well~”

“It’s both water though?”

“I know that? But I want to drink from that one now, so please~”

“Ehhhhh?”

I don’t get it. I really don’t, but I’ve been acting off the entire day, so it might just be a problem with me. Normally, I would probably just tell that idiot off, and gulp down the water in one go. Watching over myself with an outsider’s perspective, knowing the algorithm I operate on, I can say with absolute certainty that I would proceed like that.

But for some reason, I can’t do that right now. Clearly, there is an error somewhere in my brain that negatively influences my emotions or actions. I find myself unable to lecture this teasing girl Iroha, who grinned at me, as she held her hand towards the bottle in my hand.

On the contrary…on the contrary…though it brings me unbelievable humiliation…

Isn’t she actually really cute?

And so on, and so on! Weird thoughts are suddenly appearing inside of my head!

“An opening! Thanks for that!”

“Ah.”

Realizing the paradox inside of me provided Iroha enough of a slim opening to steal the bottle from me. Gulping down some water, Iroha showed a satisfied sigh. With this, she had both bottles in both her hands like Wolverine, showing no signs of willingly returning them.

“Fufufufufu~”

“Just what is wrong with you…”

“I mean, I just wanted to bother Senpai by not allowing you to drink~”

“Wha…that’s the only reason?!”

“Yup!”

“Yup, my ass! I’m thirsty, so give me at least one.”

“Ehhh…Hmmm, what should I do…”

Iroha moved her lips towards the lid of one bottle, softly kissing it. Flashing an arrogant smile, Iroha showed me a provocative gaze—

“A-f-t-e-r all, my mouth has touched both of them~”

“?!”

“Senpai, you surely hate the idea of drinking from the same bottle that I used before, right~”

“No, that’s…”

“If you were to openly announce that you wanted to take a drink from the bottle Iroha-chan has used before, I would be relieved, and returned the bottle to you~”

“Ugh…!”

So you’re saying I should beg for an indirect kiss, huh!

I bit my lip to endure the humiliation, both my arms shaking in anger. Not to mention that Iroha came closer to take a peek at my face, clearly feeling that she has the upper hand.

“Senpai, your retorts have been slacking for a while, haven’t they?”

“N-No, that’s just…your imagination?”

“No, I’m sure of it. You would never let me be this annoying without blowing a fuse. Poke poke.” Iroha poked at my cheek with one of the bottles, still in a Wolverine hold.

“S-Stop it…you’re tickling me…”

“See! What is that flustered reaction! So unlike Senpai!”

“S-Shut it. I’m just tired from walking down the mountain with luggage on my back.”

“Ehhh, is that so? I feel like you’re hiding something though~? Why aren’t you looking at me? Come on, come on~”

I didn’t even have to look in a mirror to guess how red my face was, as I tried to avoid meeting eyes with Iroha, prepared to keep this going even if it killed me. However, that very act seemed to have tickled her curiosity even further, as Iroha slowly but steadily approached me on this rocky place, softly jumping up and down, trying to gain a view of my face.

So annoying…! But, her actions make her look like a cute small animal.

…

A-Again!! Why do you keep adding [cute] after every time you call her [annoying], me?!

“—Let me quickly change the topic, but Ozu might actually meet us halfway to help us.”

“Ah, that really was sudden!”

If this continued for any longer, I might have fallen into her trap, so I forcefully changed the topic at hand. Though Iroha’s reaction was like she read off a script in a monotone voice, I didn’t pay that any mind, and instead hung onto the new topic for dear life.

“This is very important, you know. Ozu has life-or-death power over us right now.”

“That kinda leaves me scared that he would take this as a chance to enjoy himself…”

“Just what image do you have of your older brother?”

“A fully-automatic cool-headed malicious machine who enjoys crimes for fun.”

“That’s some harsh description.”

“Ah, excuse me. A fully-automatic cool-headed malicious machine who enjoys crimes for fun version 2.”

“Don’t improve it. Though it’s true that the current Ozu went through a lot of remodelling.”

In Ozu’s case, the version before the remodelling was more resilient in a certain sense.

“But, is this really fine? The path here on the mountain seems pretty complicated, so what if we miss each other?”

“Ahh, about that.”

Naturally, her question was perfectly reasonable. In a normal situation, in this mountain path that hasn’t been tended to for god knows how long, it would be very difficult, even close to impossible to meet up intentionally with someone else here, where you can barely see in front of your own legs.

However, if you depend on this genius, who has calculation skills comparing to a high-class computer at his disposal, enough to rival Steve Wo*niak1, or an equal to Tony S*ark if he existed in reality, called Kohinata Ozuma, then—

“Ozu will calculate what kind of thoughts I would take and which route I would decide on, and together with the data of the area around here, he would probably simulate at which location I would be waiting for him.”

“Woah, that is some crazy trust you have in him.”

“Of course. It’s exactly because a fellow like that which made me get charmed by him.”

“Ah, could you say that phrase one more time once we’re back together with Sumire-chansensei?”

“Stop telling me to answer her requests already.”

“Was just a joke~ I guess this is what a male friendship is about~ From my point of view as a little sister, Senpai and Onii-chan have perfect compatibility.”

Could you not give me such a suggestive gaze? I have to deal with Sumire telling me about it day in, day out, so it’s slowly getting annoying. The two of us really aren’t like that…Well, just recently, I happened to have a lesbian fantasy with Iroha and Sumire’s little sister, Midori, so I can’t exactly blame her.

“But, Onii-chan will come to our rescue, huh~”

“You implying something?”

“I mean. We’re talking about the person who didn’t even reach out a hand towards his crying little sister in the past, you know?”

“That’s…”

Iroha stretched her back like a cat as she laid down on the rocks, saying it without any deeper meaning to it. She made it sound like a memory you’d laugh about at a class reunion. But, the contents of it were as gruesome as it could be. Just by imagining what kind of emotional wound she received from that, I could feel a sharp pain in my chest, as I bit my lip. Seemingly having caught on to my reaction, Iroha panicked a bit as she flapped her hands at me.

“No, it’s all better now, you know? All thanks to Senpai.”

“Ahh…I’m glad that I could be of help.”

“Onii-chan really changed after he met you, Senpai. I still can’t tell what he’s thinking, sure, but—He truly started wishing for my happiness…That’s what it feels like.”

—A serious topic about a cruel past, normal banned from the [5th Floor Alliance] to keep the mood as light as possible.

Iroha had to keep her hobby and dream as a secret, forced to act as a harmless honor student, but not only because of the one-sided education of her mother Otoha-san. I mean, with Otoha-san being the top of the family caste, the queen in this household, even other family members would have found it difficult to rebel against her.

That being said, however.

If there had been someone in her family, who had unconditionally acted as her ally, knowing Iroha’s true wish and keeping that to themselves. Then there wouldn’t have been any need to rely only on me, as merely the friend of her brother, betting her life on the plan that I came up with. Then she would not have been forced into this situation, into this castle of sand, about to collapse at any second.

“Well, it’s not like I was hated by Onii-chan or anything.”

“…Ozu back then didn’t hate anybody. He just didn’t have any affection for the people around him.”

“Yes. Not being hated nor liked by anybody. Always indifferent towards everyone around him. It felt like I was talking to a robot.”

“He didn’t know the co in communication after all. Like, unable to even understand someone else’s feelings.”

“He got a clean perfect score on maths and any subject related to physics, but in Japanese, he’d always bring home a flat 0.”

“I say that couldn’t be helped. Ozu saw the world in a different light from us, breathed in different air from ours. You can’t properly understand what foreigners say, right? Because you don’t have the fitting words for a cultural exchange.”

“And, the first time this cultural exchange succeeded was—”

“I didn’t act like the black ships did then if you mean to say that. All I did was become his friend.”

If you had to compare it to something, then Ozu’s brain works like a computer. An array of zeros and ones. Whether the event happening in front of him has emotions involved, or stirred up by a difficult-to-read atmosphere, he would always go along his own set of rules, giving the correct, logical conclusion.

As someone who thrives for efficiency in every matter, I have similar tendencies, but even I can be aware of things like emotions and mood. I can never completely exclude emotions and the substance of a human, the soul, whenever bringing down an absolute decision. Basically, I praise efficiency, while still considering circumstances around me, a half-assed opportunistic bastard. Hence, to me, a perfect existence like Ozu was so dazzling.

For having such genius, he couldn’t fit into the class at all, and even was treated in that way. It was beyond me. That’s why I kept on and on, consistently, forcefully approaching him.

“The first time Onii-chan told me he’d be bringing over a friend had me dumbfounded. I was dubious if he wasn’t being used by some fishy religious group.”

“Ahh, well, the ones with a good academic background tend to get wrapped up in this sort of thing.”

Not me though, never.

“Ever since Senpai came to our house, I could feel more warmth building up inside Onii-chan. Talking with him became easier as well. That’s why I was really shocked. At first I thought you were some kind of magician, aha~”

“So I was a magician in your eyes. I see…Quite the unrefined magic, if I had to categorize it.”

“How did you even do that?”

“Ain’t telling you.”

“Hmpf. I think you could tell me now, the contents of Onii-chan’s personality reformation programm.”

“You shouldn’t dig too deep. It’s a secret between men.”

“Ah, that phrase would certainly be a delicious snack for Murasaki Shikibu-sensei!”

“What did I just say?”

To be honest, teaching normal conversation with his classmates to Ozu was no easy feat. Visiting the library on a frequent basis, looking it up online and search through various research papers, teaching him human values and psychology by disguising it as science—

Starting with romcoms, turning human relationships as a principal axis to get it more across to him, making him more conscious by calling it [Understanding of patterns] instead of emotions—

Having him play galge that required him to understand a character’s psychology and forcing him to pick the right choice in order to move forward, aiming for a cleared game after cleared game—

Through these various methods, the current Kohinata Ozuma was born. But, I can’t tell Iroha or other people the details of this entire process. How could I, because—

“It sure is weird~”

“What is?”

“Back then, I was only aware of Senpai as someone I would cross in the hallway of the flat from time to time. To think that we ended up close enough to share a bed, I would have never imagined that~”

“D-Don’t phrase it weirdly to induce a misunderstanding like that. We just slept in the same room in that inn, nothing more.”

To be fair, we did end up sleeping in the same futon because of a sleepy Iroha moving over, but I’ll hold back on retorting on that.

“Either way, I really didn’t think that we would end up this close.”

“Agreed on that.”

To me, Iroha was just someone who would from time to time enter my field of view when I came over to visit Ozu, or barely hearing her voice whenever she called out to him, nothing more than a friend’s little sister. No, past tense doesn’t quite fit, I guess. Even now, Iroha is still nothing but a friend’s little sister. After all—

Creating the [5th Floor Alliance], aiming for HoneyPlay, preserving the [5th Floor Alliance] as a comfortable place, helping Iroha, aiming to set Murasaki Shikibu-sensei free, everything. All of it.

All of it was just for Ozu’s sake. Only for his sake, this ego trip of mine started, where I wrapped everybody up in my scheming.

I could feel a sharp pain stabbing into my chest. If I had to guess, it was probably guilt coming to haunt me. Being praised by Iroha, called a nice guy, every time I’m being reminded of my sins. I’m not looking after Iroha because it’s her. I’m looking after her because she’s Ozu’s little sister, because she’s my friend’s little sister. That’s all there is to it.

Honestly, Iroha acting this annoying towards me actually kind of saved me, though I wish she’d hold back from time to time…But anyway, if she were to take what I did as a trigger to fall in love with me, then I probably wouldn’t be able to handle the guilt. Everything happening is for Ozu’s sake, and if my actions were to induce positive affection for me, direct feelings of love towards me…I don’t even want to think about it.

Hence, thinking efficiently, Iroha not developing any romantic feelings for me, and making me assume that because of her actions, is actually acting as a saving grace.

—I mean, having Iroha fall in love with me normally, imagine that. Impossible. No matter how I think about it.

The wind blew. The sound of the leaves rustling sounded like they were talking back to me.

That’s right. The [5th Floor Alliance] is just a box you prepared for Ozu’s sake. You’re barely using everybody else. That’s why—

“The same goes for Sumire-sensei. Whether she decides to stay in the [5th Floor Alliance] or not, I cannot push her into the direction I would like her to go…”

“Eh?”

Unconsciously, I blurted out the conclusion to my own thoughts, which had Iroha respond with a puzzled voice.

“I’m merely using her for my own goal.”

“Nah, that can’t be all. You’re properly thinking about Sumire-chansensei as well.”

“Of course, if there’s a way where we both profit, then I will choose that. But, I don’t have the right to restrict, and force her to choose the more beneficial route for me.”

“…Haaa, you really have an annoying personality, Senpai.”

“…I don’t want to hear that from you of all people.”

“Come here for a second.”

“Huh…?”

Sighing in disbelief, Iroha beckoned me over. Not knowing what she was on about, I just followed suit, and walked closer to the rock she sat on.

“Just kneel down right there. You don’t have to lick my feet either.”

“Who would do that? Also, why do I have to act like a knight towards his queen.”

“Just do it, come on!”

“…I get it already…Really, what are you—”

While still mid-complaint, I did as I was told, and kneeled down in front of Iroha.

—There there.

Hm? Wait, what was that onomatopoeia just now? And what is this sensation on the back of my head?

“…What are you doing?”

“For Senpai, who can’t take a breather because of his annoying and pain in the butt personality, I’m giving you some relaxation.”

“I don’t get it.”

“To put it in one word, I’m patting you on the head.”

“I do understand that, but…why?”

I could feel her softly stroking my hair. Just from the palm of her hand, I could feel Iroha’s warmth transmitted on my head, feeling exceptionally comfortable. Just from this small gesture, Iroha looked 3000 times more charming to me. Something really is weird with me right now.

“Didn’t I tell you before. Instead of Senpai, who will never go soft himself, I will be there to spoil you. I will do the exact opposite of what you want, and be as annoying as I can~”

“That logic sure is flawed, you know.”

I couldn’t put any words in my rebuttal. I couldn’t muster up any will to deny her. Right in front of me was Iroha’s body, practically forcing me to grow conscious of her, as her feminine smell tickled my nose.

Ba-dump, ba-dump, I could hear my heart beating up to my ears.

—If I were to embrace her now, what kind of reaction would Iroha show me?

Would she accept it? Or would she push me away?

Not too far, not too close, just staying at a comfortable distance of being my friend’s little sister, I’m now that kind of man who has his heart shaken by that very girl. Would she see me as a man?

…Yeah, no need to argue about that. As if she could.

I don’t know if this sudden change in my heart is because of romantic feelings towards her, but as long as I can’t put my own definition on it, acting recklessly just according to a spontaneous desire would make me nothing short of a cold-hearted bastard.

Arriving at that conclusion, I separated my body. At the same time, I could hear faint rustling of the bushes close to us.

“?!”

Both Iroha and I immediately turned over there. It might be one of the stray dogs I just chased away, I thought. Or some other wild animal entirely. Standing in a fashion to protect Iroha behind my back, I glared towards the direction of the sound. I’ve looked into the countless ways to counter any sort of enemy you could run into in the mountains, so come at me.

So I had steeled my determination, when it revealed itself from the bushes. With the moonlight shining through the leaves above us, I could barely make out the outline of—

“Congratulations! Just what I wanted to see from the ceremony with a 100% chance of turning the participants into a couple! To get you two together this easily. My data really doesn’t betray me!”

Walking towards us was none other than my trusted friend—Kohinata Ozuma, as he flashed a victorious grin.

“Onii-chan?!”

“Ozu! Just normally call out to us if you’re there. You had me scared there for a second.”

“Ah, did I appear too quickly? Maybe 30 clicks later would have been better?”

“This isn’t some eroge, so stuff it.”

Also, that scene won’t come no matter how long you would have waited.

“We wouldn’t have needed 30. If that really happened, I would have defeated Senpai instantly!”

“Don’t just jump in onto his nonsense. There’s no I would be…no way I would be done in by you, yeah.”

“Hmmm? Ohhh? I wonder about that~? Would you really be able to win against Iroha-chan’s bewitching skill?”

“Ugh…don’t bring your face closer like that.”

“See! You’re getting flustered already! So easy!”

“Shut it, or you’ll regret it!”

Click click, she spit at me as she poked me in the stomach. This alone left me irritated that I wanted to return the favor, but I returned back to my senses with a quick breath.

“Fufu, I’m glad to see that you two are as close as ever.”

Naturally, Ozu didn’t miss this chance to throw in his comment with a shit-eating grin.

“Y-You’re wrong, okay?! We weren’t flirting or anything—”

“Seems pretty fishy that you’re so desperate about denying it?”

“Ugh…I get it, I get it already. From an outsider’s perspective, it might have looked like you think it did. But, let me openly state that there was nothing of that sort happening…How about that?!”

“Just trying to fix yourself shows how lovey-dovey you were. I’m glad that you seem able to go through three years without cheating.”

“We’re not married, and don’t just add any absurd material like that.”

A lot of people wouldn’t get that reference. After jesting around for a bit, Ozu gazed down at Iroha’s foot. Seeing the towel around it, he muttered a short ‘Ah, that’s right’.

“Sorry, sorry. You’re hurrying down the mountain because Iroha is hurt, right. This isn’t the time for some idle talk, I guess.”

“A-Ah, yeah. Ozu, lend me your shoulder. With the two of us, we can cover a greater distance.”

“No, I’ll hold off of that.”

“Huh? Why…”

“Well~”

“……”

Ozu looked like he was looking for the right words, as he threw a quick glance over at Iroha, who silently averted her eyes.

“Even if an older brother tried to be nice, a real little sister in puberty would just think of it as a bother. I’m pretty sure that she’d only be happy to be touched by Aki in the first place anyway.”

“Huh?”

“Onii-chan! If you’re being considerate, then pull through with it! Don’t blurt out anything unnecessary.”

“Sorry, sorry. You see, I’m the type of boy who can’t tell what’s unnecessary and what not.”

“I know that, but don’t let me repeat myself.”

Iroha actually sounded quite infuriated for once, to what Ozu only shrugged with his shoulders.

“If you’re not gonna help me carry her, then why did you even come here in the first place?”

“Of course, I prepared something only I could have done. The method to return back to the village as quickly and shortly as possible.”

He responded with a smile like I should have guessed his answer from the very start, as Ozu pointed with one finger, directly into the darkness. It was a different path from the one we had taken during the ceremony. No light to shine the way, it was like a method a potential game master would use to block off progress at all costs, if this was a TRPG. Not to mention that, from where Ozu pointed, I could hear something that sounded similar to an animal’s growling.

I focussed my hearing on that part. As expected, I heard something. Putting it into words was quite difficult, but it sounded like something was rattling almost.

“This sound is…”

“It seemed like it wasn’t used recently, so the security check took me a second, but that was no big deal for me, so I quickly rebooted it.”

“Wha…don’t tell me…?!” I was dumbfounded.

Village Kageishi was located at what felt at the end of the world, like an isolated island left behind during the industrial revolution. Having been under this impression, I ignored the very first possibility that came to me, and didn’t even try to look for that.

But what if it actually existed? If we had used this from the very start, it would have been the most efficient method to get off this mountain. Ignoring this would make me a failure of an efficiency freak!

“Exactly. This is what I had found, the convenient tool of civilization—”

Ozu used the flashlight on his phone to light up the entity he was referring to—

“A new-type lift.”

“I figured as much…”

Not to mention new-type.

“To think they were equipped with this…”

“We were both too busy to check for that, huh~”

I sunk down onto the ground in disbelief, to which Iroha showed me a wry smile. Because I wasn’t attentive enough, I brought big risks onto Iroha. Ultimately, I feel like I was the one who lost the most in that scenario, but let’s leave that aside.

I’m sorry, Iroha. If only I had been more careful of our surroundings, I could have found the shortest route down into the village already. Please forgive your Senpai, who has failed to stick to his efficiency values.

Ozu stepped first into the lift, followed by me, who carried Iroha on my back. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown dependent on civilization, or maybe because I’m a city child, but feeling the mechanical cold sensation on my butt was actually quite comforting.

Being shaken by the lift as it started moving through a click on Ozu’s smartphone (though I don’t know how), we slowly started to descend from the mountain. From the lift, I gazed at the starry sky, and the silver moon—or rather, mostly Iroha’s profile from the side, as she gazed upwards. Supposedly because all the tension was gone now, when I looked at her out of a whim, Iroha realized my stare and returned a gaze of hers. I had prepared myself to get teased about this, but she just kept silent in a calm manner.

“I wonder if Sumire-chansensei is going to be fine.”

“…Haha.”

“Why are you laughing!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Seeing Iroha puff out her cheeks in a pout, I put one hand on my mouth, trying to control my laughter. I just couldn’t help but think that she was actually really kind, and that had me burst out laughing. They really are good people. Both Iroha, and Sumire.

That’s why. Exactly because of that. With the [5th Floor Alliance] that I created for Ozu’s sake, and I do feel bad for pulling into this mess, if they decide to part ways with the [5th Floor Alliance], then I don’t want to stop them.

That’s why, in this case, with Kageishi Sumire’s problem. I tried to solve it with as little self-initiative as possible.

“Sumire-sensei should be fine.”

“You mean that she’ll make it back to the car safely?”

“No, to 98%, she’ll get caught.”

“Eh?”

“But, that’s fine. Kageishi Sumire’s life as a illustrator—”

Iroha was flabbergasted. I however just continued with a grin.

“—By being caught by the head of the family, she will be taking her first step towards it.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

1 Steve Wolzniak

Intermission:

“Hm…Really can’t find it…I did get the loli smell from around here though…”

“Loli smell…”

“Call me forbidden eros hunter Sumire, with my special skill to sniff out any unholy porn.”

“Mashiro has never heard any worse self-introduction than this…”

Currently, we were searching through a refined Japanese room with a sunken fireplace. Even scrolling up the wall scroll with typical old-fashioned idioms written on it, we were greeted by only a normal wall. No secret hidden passage or anything. The room itself resembled those big stages you’d see in historical dramas. A normal tatami room, an inner parlor, a habitual residence—I, Kageishi Sumire, and Mashiro-chan searched through all these various places, but we were left without any success on our child pornography hunt, finding no worthwhile proof.

Panic sweat started to run down my cheek.

I-Isn’t this pretty bad? If we actually don’t find anything, Aki’s and Iroha-chan’s work was all for nothing, and I’d feel horrible for having pulled Mashiro-chan into this mess! This can’t be the end…

“What kind of medium are we talking about anyway, with child porno?”

“Ahh, I didn’t give it much thought to be honest. I figured we’d be able to tell from the covers on it?”

“If we’re talking about loli magazines and so on, it would probably be something of a sublime youth on the cover.”

“Right! I had that happen to me a lot in the past when I couldn’t even guess from the cover what the actual magazine was about!”

“Be it a thin book, or a business magazine…it’s probably a publicated media?”

“That’s what I think. Grandfather is probably still in the age of paper, and thinking about where this village is located, I can’t think that he has them saved somewhere electronically.”

“Is that so. Then, if we adjust our search locations to that assumption…”

Mashiro-chan put one hand on her chin, as she dove into deep thought with a cute gesture.

“Any cardboard boxes in the drawers and lockers might be suspicious. Like this.”

Returning to the tatami room, Mashiro-chan opened the closet, and took out the cardboard box.

“Ho ho ho, ho ho ho, what gave you the idea?”

“If it’s harder to take out, then the family has less of a chance to accidentally find it. Normally, you would put books into bookshelves to not hurt their condition, but in this case, it can’t be helped.”

“I see~ But, wouldn’t they open the cardboard boxes during a big cleaning operation?”

“Perfect countermeasures for that. You put normal books on top…Nobody was reading books in the family besides Mashiro. Her Onii-chan is the type to get an allergy just by looking at them.”

“Quite elaborate countermeasures…Also, you have an Onii-chan, Mashiro-chan?”

“Yup. [I came up with a business idea that can compete against the old man] he said and left the family, never heard from ever since.”

“Is he still alive?”

“Who knows?”

“So indifferent! Even though he’s your family.”

“We haven’t seen each other for years, neither were we in contact, so he’s basically like a stranger. Though he was pretty close with Aki, so he might still be in contact with him.”

Looking through the cardboard box, Mashiro-chan said it with no interest whatsoever, but I didn’t have the time to dwell on it since we had other business.

“Aki said he only had one friend in Ozuma-kun, but there are actually others? …Really complicated as a shipper like me.”

“Probably just cut it? He’d get bad luck if he stayed friends with Onii-chan.”

“That’s quite the harsh statement…”

I wonder what kind of person he is. Still, there’s a lot of families involved in this. Looking from Aki’s point of view, there’s his cousin Mashiro-chan, who’s ironically equally a friend’s little sister, just like Iroha-chan is now. I was never really aware of it, but this is quite the interesting coincidence.

—But, leaving that aside for now. There is some more valuable information I just got!

“You were pretty knowledgeable about places to hide doujinshi and so on, so it sounds like Mashiro-chan has some as well, right?”

“…!”

“Shota? Loli? Or just a favorite artist?! I wasn’t sure how much otaku talk I could bring up with you, but since you have doujinshi and magazines to hide, you’re pretty serious, right?! That’s how I can take it, right?!”

“Ugh…don’t come any closer, idiot.”

“Ahhh, so boring~”

Approaching Mashiro-chan with my face, she pushed it away with one hand.

“L-Listen here…! I just told you, didn’t I. That I am Makigai Namako.”

“? You sure did, what about it?”

“We talked a lot about otaku stuff on LIME, didn’t we? …That should tell you enough, right?”

“…! Ahh, that’s right! Since you’re Makigai Namako-sensei, that explains it!”

Hearing Mashiro-chan in her Makigai Namako male tone, it finally clicked in my head, as I slapped my knee.

“Exactly. That’s why, Mashiro has books like that. And she’s hiding them inside the house.”

“Ohhho~ So even Mashiro-chan has something you can’t tell your parents or family.”

“Mashiro only has things she has to hide…Ah, a miss.”

While I was quite surprised at this sudden piece of information, Mashiro-chan had finished checking through the cardboard box, and put it to its original place.

“Really, so many things to hide. Mashiro-chan has never told anybody that she is Makigai Namako, not even Aki. Sumire-sensei is the only one.”

“You’re scared of doing a coming-out?”

“Of course. But, continuing to hide it will make things more and more awkward. Her chest would hurt, and she would feel awful.”

“So you’re feeling guilty.”

“Probably. Though it’s roughly in balance.”

The feeling of safety by not having your real identity found out. But also the horrible guilt of hiding your real identity from the people you care about. The position in the middle of these two nails, the lull and calm of the sea, in sight, that’s probably the reason why the two of us chose our current situations.

That being said, I know how it feels to be assaulted by the accumulated guilt. I can sympathize with Mashiro-chan’s feelings of blaming herself. But that’s exactly why I decided—

“You damned fools!!”

A voice similar to a roaring wild bear almost pierced my eardrums. At the same time, the room where we were in was suddenly filled by a dazzling white light, banishing the previously reigning darkness.

*

Opening my eyes who had finally gotten used to the light, a giant with the size of a bear stood right in front of me. He had a beard that gave off his raw life force, a wound over his eye, probably a trophy of the battle with a wild animal. His white breath coming out from the mouth made him look like the mysterious person from a splatter horror movie. How is he supposed to be a teacher with this look of this? He’s gotta be scaring all the students away.

As always, my grandfather, Kageishi Kou, had the same amount of an intimidating air to him as the last time I saw him. Not to mention his sharp gaze he’s throwing at me.

“Sumire. You currently should be participating in the ceremony, so why are you here.”

“Grand…father…”

“……!”

A deep voice that made your lower stomach rumble like you’re at a concert. The fear slowly creeping up to me is making my legs shiver. Mashiro-chan next to me seemed to be in a fairly equal condition, as she curled up her back like a scared cat.

—This one’s done for. I can’t. I have to act tough as her teacher.

Calming myself down and putting on my mask as a teacher, I checked the time on my wristwatch, and carefully asked.

“The shrine for the ceremony is at the top of the mountain. You can’t come down this quickly just by foot…So why are you here?”

“I came with my iron horse.”

“Huh?”

Hearing the word that probably referred to a tool belonging to today’s civilization, I blinked at him in confusion. Not good, I have to focus. Having the flustered me in front of him, my grandfather waved the key of a motorbike at me, as a blood vein audibly popped out.

“The way from the village to the shrine is indeed a steep path. However, if you go down the opposite side of the mountain, you arrive at a normal street. Riding on my iron horse, I flashed through the mountain pass, and came back to this highly infuriating sight.”

“How thoroughly prepared…so you were doubting me from the very beginning?!”

If not, there was no need to speed up the process of his return. But, Iroha-chan’s disguise and acting should have been perfect. There should have been absolutely no reason to doubt me!

“Did you think I was unaware?”

“Eh…?”

“Ok Google. Bring out the projector screen.”

—Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?!

I barely held myself back from screaming in disbelief. I mean, how could I not be shocked by this! There’s actually a Google Home automated projector screen coming down in this old-fashioned Japanese home located in the ends of the world! It’s like I’m sitting in a classroom!

Mashiro-chan also went pale, turning her head towards me.

“S-Sumire-sensei…Mashiro can’t keep up with this development, she’s feeling dizzy…”

“A professional author is taking mental damage…?!”

“A mistake like this, happening from a straying author or an inexperienced author, is making Mashiro’s head hurt…”

“You can do this, Mashiro-chan! I know how you feel, so don’t give up!”

In the face of such a world breaking event, I lend Mashiro-chan a shoulder. Ahh, her shoulders are so slim. But as the two of us were trying hard to recover, a LIME chat was shown on the screen. It was the chat of the Kageishi Family, the one I am a member of. Fiddling with the tablet that had appeared in Grandfather’s hands out of nowhere, he lined up several screenshots next to the other.

“This shows the specific time series where you have written in the chat, lined up, and after having an AI analyze the time and contents, we have judged that you don’t have a lover at all, Sumire.”

“I don’t even know what to retort on, but for starters, can I just say that this is seriously scary.”

“We ran the idea of the marriage meeting through the AI data planning, and with this, we could deduce with a very high accuracy that the chance stands, and came up with this talk. This is the proof you were looking for.”

“But, I…”

“Exactly. You said that you had a lover with you, and refused the marriage meeting with the date pictures. For the members of the family, it was like we were dealing with the rebellion of Heihachirou, you know.”

“I know that this is a serious topic, so could you please stop with the JK slang1?”

“Okey~”

He was unexpectedly honest.

“We were left in confusion, but we arrived at a single hypothesis.”

“Hypothesis…?”

“That you had planned this with Ooboshi Akiteru-kun from the very start, spending the time here with him just to avoid the marriage meeting—and thus, our doubts were born.”

No place for me to speak back, I can’t make any excuses. Thank you very much for coming to my TED talk.

Jokes aside…You’re kidding me, right. That would mean that they had seen through my plans from the very start…I’m not an forbidden ero hunter, but a clown2 hunter.

“At the same time as you returned home, we observed a few youngsters appearing in the village. Naturally, we assumed you were planning something during the [Ceremony of Marriage].”

“So the reason you acted like our plan worked…”

“Was all for this moment, for this place. To keep you contained here, Sumire.”

“How did you know that I would be sneaking into the residence?”

“You were looking for it, weren’t you. An opening of mine. That I might be holding a similar hobby to you, Sumire. Expecting that, you went to search for any sort of proof to rebel against me.”

“………”

I can’t say anything. Nothing to counter argue with. He had seen through everything. The way he speaks makes it sound like he even knew about my interests from the very beginning. We came here to look for a proof that would lead us to the child pornography, which would have helped us against him, but this is a complete turn-around, and now I’m the one being cornered.

What should I do? What should I do what should I do what should I do?!

Knowing that my strict grandfather had seen through everything made my head feel numb, and it’s almost like he was forcefully pulling off the mask that I had hanged on for dear life. And, he wasn’t done yet.

He narrowed his eye with the wound, asked with a tone that made my insides quiver.

“Manga…anime…BL…all these various arts. Sumire, you love them, don’t you?”

“That…!”

“Your parents had caught on to you being addicted to this sort of thing, and knew that you were hiding the manga and illustrations. As the head of the family, I have received the reports.”

“Eh?”

“The shallow thinking of a child cannot win against its parents. They’ve seen their child for several hundreds, thousands of days. Be it that you love this Arashima-kun, that you were passionate about this royal tennis manga3, that school is heaven and glasses fiendish, and the sword of lineage—”

“I-I get it, so please stop there.”

How could this happen. He’s revealing every single past of my otaku lifetime. Then, what? My father and mother both—

“Don’t get the wrong idea. Your parents did not sell you out by any means. Rather, it was the opposite. They came to rebel against me with a petition.”

“Petition…?”

“If you actually wanted to become an illustrator instead of a teacher, if that was your real desire, then if I wouldn’t be so kind as to allow that.”

“Wha…my parents would try something as to go against your word…?!”

Flashing up in my head were my father, who basically was the incarnation of diligent, as well as a rather nonchalant Yamato Nadeshiko4 of my mother. I always thought that, just like the rest of our clan, they would honor the rules, as they raised me with the family’s traditions, in order to keep them alive—That’s why, watching their backs, I thought I would have to take the same way as them.

“Naturally, I was enraged at this. However, in order to rebuke them, I first had to understand this path you had chosen. That is the right path of education…Hence!!” Grandfather slammed his finger onto the tablet.

By doing so—A simultaneous emergence occurred. Like a flower bud blooming, or like the foam of the beer building on the top, on the screen—one after another.

Pictures of electrical books and online downloadable doujinshi5 were filling it. I mostly remembered all of the pictures I saw. Books of authors I deeply adored, and even works I just browsed on the web last week. And not just that. In the midst of those were works that were the closest to me, my own pride. Works that I never wanted anybody to know they came from me.

“Murasaki Shikibu-sensei’s…doujinshi…”

“You got that right. Met with this world I hadn’t had the foggiest off, yet also aspiring to understand this way you had chosen, this is what I had arrived at. I found Murasaki Shikibu-sensei’s—No, Kageishi Sumire’s art.”

“…!!!”

“Do not worry. I am the only one who knows of this in the entire family. I haven’t even told your parents.”

Guessing that I probably panicked from this, Grandfather gave me a piece of relief. That being said, it wasn’t nearly enough to heal this feeling of despair plaguing me, as I just stared at the screen in a trance.

“Having been raised under the family’s laws, we don’t need anybody who err in their way. That being said, with the appearance of IT technology, time sped up, and I took it as the law of the world that someone with values unbelievable to me would eventually be born into the family. Hence, I took it as my duty to understand what you felt, what you thought, looking into these scriptures, and talked to youngsters on these social networks—In the process of that, I have acquired these slangs, but that was not entirely a bad thing.”

The scary face of the bear in front of me softened, turning into a smile. However, this expression, which would inquire about a character’s charming gap in a manga world, didn’t last long, as my grandfather quickly narrowed his eyes again.

“However, your determination stayed as a mystery. I wanted to talk with you face to face to try and understand it.”

“Ah…that’s why you called me here with such timing, talking about a marriage meeting…?”

“Exactly. I wanted to have the time and have a proper talk with you. Sumire, tell me your true feelings. You plan on breaking the code of our family, treading the path of art and illustrations, do you not?”

“I…well…”

The words wouldn’t come out. Even though I thought I had prepared myself, my voice was stuck in my throat. As if he had seen through my feelings, my grandfather’s gaze was filled with radiance as he glared down at me, letting out an angry roar.

“Putting on the fake mask of a teacher to dirty the way of being an educator does not make you worthy of a Kageishi descendant. Not forcing your way through with your arts, a failure as a teacher, what else do you have left? A vague ambition is the most embarrassing of all!!”

No. No! It’s true that I’m irresponsible, and I can’t argue against his logic. But, I don’t think my current life is embarrassing! I want to tell him he’s wrong…but the words won’t come out…Maybe he’s right, maybe I really am a failure as both an illustrator and teacher, a failure of a human being. After all, I—

“You’re wrong!”

……………Eh? That…wasn’t my own voice…So, who…?

“Sumire-sensei isn’t a failure of a teacher! Don’t say such selfish things…!”

“…Your name?”

“…Is this also the influence of talking with youngsters?6 Well, it’s fine…Mashiro’s name is Tsukinomori Mashiro. A student of the class Sumire-sensei looks after.”

“Very well. Then, tell me what exactly I am wrong about.”

“It was only Sumire-sensei…She was the only one who protected Mashiro in the truest sense of the word.”

I’m sure that Grandfather’s glare must be terrifying. She held her shaking hand on her chest, trying to hold back the fear. And yet, she would not dare break eye contact, as Mashiro-chan brought forth her words. 𝒇𝑟e𝙚𝑤𝙚𝐛𝗻𝐨ν𝚎𝘭.c𝐨m

“Mashiro’s teacher before her transfer didn’t even bother to side with her. When Mashiro was made fun of in the classroom, when she came to ask for help, they didn’t listen at all, and just gave vague responses as they sipped on their tea. They acted like they didn’t see anything. In the end, they blurted out some useless life advice like [You should have more confidence in yourself, Tsukinomori-san]…and Mashiro hated that.”

“I see. That is indeed a failure of someone who is tasked with educating the youth. Though I hear this happens fairly frequently.”

“But, Sumire-sensei was different. She truly was worried about Mashiro…and together with Aki, she accepted Mashiro into their rounds, creating a place that she belonged to. That’s why—”

Listening to Mashiro-chan’s confession, I was just simply bewildered, hearing how she felt about it all. Of course, as a teacher you try to do your utmost to guide the students you’re responsible for, but very rarely do you receive actual gratitude. That’s why, even more than surprise, I felt happy hearing this.

Following that, Mashiro-chan pushed her body towards, facing the giant in front of her, and strongly declared.

“Don’t…make fun of Mashiro’s ultimate teacher!!”

Her words were filled with determination, almost hostility.

Tsukinomori Mashiro is a weak-willed student. It was written as such in the reports I received when she transferred, and spending the days with her, this [information] changed into [confirmation]. The only time she would be able to speak her mind, with clear hostility in her words if needed, that would mean that she would feel comfortable around them. Be it Aki, or the comrades from the [5th Floor Alliance].

Back when she had barely moved into the flat. I heard that she couldn’t talk back to the girls that made fun of her as she ran into them. Iroha-chan said that she had to chase them away for her, because Mashiro didn’t hold the courage to do so herself.

And yet. She isn’t doing this for herself. She is doing this for me. Being able to stand against an even scarier opponent than those girls, is this proof of her growth?

“Indeed. Even rotten, she is a member of the Kageishi Family, and has the virtues of a teacher resting inside of her.”

“Then…!”

“However, this and that are two different things.”

“Eh.”

Having been given a ray of hope, Mashiro-chan was immediately crushed by despair yet again.

“Know that one lie makes ten thousand virtues invalid. How can you put trust in her, who just wears the fake mask of a teacher?”

“That…is…But, just because she told one lie doesn’t mean that all she says is…”

“With a god able to overlook all, that logic might work out, yes. However, humans aren’t that omnipotent. Just because you forgive her, doesn’t mean that everybody would. In order to gain trust with people, a falsehood is not allowed.”

“Ugh…”

“It’s true that Sumire might have been acting according to the needs of her students, a proper teacher. She might be a fairly skilled teacher. However, hiding her true self, holding something she wishes to do even more than teaching, isn’t that quite the half-baked attitude towards a student such as you are? Does she really have sincere feelings with her words? Just how many people do you think would believe you in that?”

“……”

Mashiro-chan bit her lip. She must have felt like these words could have been pointed at herself, grasping her clothes strong enough to cause wrinkles, and barely held back in averting her eyes, which looked close to breaking out in tears. But, she was now fully unable to find any sort of rebuttal. Because Grandfather’s words stabbed right into Mashiro-chan’s conscience, who has continuously lied to the [5th Floor Alliance].

—I’m sorry, because I’m such a failure, I’m forcing you through this. I really am not fit to be a teacher, for crying out loud. But even so—thank you.

It’s honestly laughable how much of a weakling I am. Not even walking down the way I have decided on, not acting for my own sake. That’s why, thank you. Because you were with me, because you were suffering from the same as me, you gave me confidence.

I’ll do this. As Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, as Kageishi Sumire. I’ll show him that my current way of living is not wrong.

—I took a deep breath, and carefully breathed it out again. That was the sign. My one and only battle stance, where nobody could make fun of me. It was the switch for my [Poisonous Queen] roleplay.

“How much more do you have to insult me before you’re satisfied?”

“What…?”

Having felt the grave turn of atmosphere in the room, my grandfather—No, in this case, he is but Kageishi Kou, looked at me in disbelief. Ever since I could think, I was taught that he was the one entity I should not go against, the chief of our family. Until this day, I had lived under his will, forced to drive down the rails he had laid out to me. But, having my back pushed by Aki, the second I started my search through this mansion, I had mentally prepared myself. We might not have found anything that could assist me in rebelling against Kageishi Kou right here, but ultimately, there was never a need to find any of that.

Most likely, I had already chosen my way. From the very start, the answer was clear to me.

“Aiming for the way of an illustrator? What are you talking about?”

That is why, I will choose this way. Right here.

“I never planned on quitting my position as a teacher.”

“Eh…?”

The first person to react to my words was Mashiro-chan. And, who could blame her. But, I’m sorry. I told you, it won’t end up like the development you’re hoping for.

“I don’t know any Murasaki Shikibu-sensei. The same goes for these vulgar pictures shown on the screen, I have no memory of any of them.”

“You plan on stacking lies now, Sumire? I have watched you participate in this one doujinshi event from afar.”

“Do please remember your age. Your old eyes cannot be trusted anymore.”

“You drew a votive picture for a shrine under the name of Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, right? Comparing your handwriting to the one of that, it perfectly overlaps!”

“You’re starting to come on a little too strong here, you stalker. Just keep on putting out proof after proof, I will not admit it. No matter what anybody says, I am Kageishi Sumire, a teacher.”

“You thick-headed fool! Just admit to it, and live that way to the fullest! I have understood more than enough about this art you admire, so if you truly wish for it, then I—”

“What a terrible misunderstanding. There was no need for me to beg for your acceptance in the first place, Grandfather.” I coldly announced, turning my back towards him for the first time.

“I won’t quit as a teacher, nor will I get married. Don’t expect me to protect the traditions of this family. I don’t need anyone’s permission. I will quit being a teacher whenever I feel like it, and will marry when I find the right person. I will go my own way. If you want to cut ties with me, then do so. That’s why…!”

Seeing the past expressions of my grandfather who would always be strict, yet kind when he needed to be, flash past my eyes, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. But, I cut away this pain, and continued my first, and also last roleplay. I will act as myself in my rebellious phase.

“—Thank you for everything.”

Yet, in the end, I couldn’t completely shake off the genes of being an honor student. Either way, I turned around once, to give a deep bow towards him, only to turn on my heel.

“Sumire…”

I heard a voice from behind my back, a heartrending appeal of my grandfather, but I didn’t stop in my tracks, as I left the residence together with Mashiro-chan.

*

Around ten metres after we stepped out of the residence. At a raised footpath between rice fields, I felt strength leave my legs, as I sunk unto the ground.

“S-Sumire-sensei, are you okay?”

“Ahahah, I’m fine, I’m fine. I mean, that last boss was seriously scary~”

I kindly waved away Mashiro-chan, who was planning on lending me a shoulder. However, in her eyes, yet another emotion resided.

“…Sorry, Sumire-sensei.”

“Why are you apologizing, Mashiro-chan?”

“If you had answered his question honestly, and said that you chose the path of an illustrator, then maybe he would have accepted it…but because Mashiro tried to argue with him…”

Mashiro-chan dropped her slender shoulders, seemingly blaming herself, even though she didn’t do anything wrong. But I guess, that’s just the type of person she is. That’s why she can only speak ill in front of people she really trusts.

“It’s fine~ I was actually really happy, being called the [Ultimate teacher]~”

“D-Don’t get on a high horse because of that.”

“Ahh, being tsundere is so cute~”

“M-Mashiro is talking here, so don’t randomly cuddle her like that.”

I rubbed my cheeks against hers as I had her in my arms, until Mashiro-chan pushed me away with one hand. Her flustered expression really is cute~ Maybe it’s my own egoism that I want her to stay as cute as she is now.

“Fufu, you don’t have to worry. That was probably the only way to solve it.”

“…What do you mean?”

“If I had admitted my hobby there, the whole family would have found out, right?”

“But, with this much proof gathered…”

“Non non. My grandfather is possessed by a very strong sense of duty, so unless the person themselves doesn’t admit to it, he won’t spread it any further. And that is fine…because it would have been really embarrassing to have Midori-chan or other relatives find out.”

“Embarrassing…is that really all? Enough of a reason to cut ties with your family.”

“Yup. Because, I’m scared that they find out who I really am. Is that something weird?”

It clearly isn’t. This is how the people in this world work after all. That’s why I didn’t make that big of a thing out of it.

“Sumire-sensei…”

“Fufufu, now we’re comrades in lies~ Looking forward to working with you~”

In order to erase Mashiro-chan’s complicated expression, I tightly embraced her. With a shell like a sea urchin on the outside, she has the spongy softness of it on the inside, a real Snow White. Now that I’ve become her teacher, I want to see her graduate with all my heart. So I thought, as I felt her warmth during our embrace.

My smartphone inside my pocket vibrated. I was notified that [Sumire] was removed from the Kageishi Family’s LIME chat. Even though I couldn’t check the time line anymore, I oddly enough felt more refreshed than sad, as I showed a wry smile.

“Ahh, now my rebellious phase finally came, huh.”

NamaSake Alliance (2)

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

As you can see, I created a group chat! Yay~!

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

In here, we can talk freely without having to worry about keeping it secret~!

Makigai Namako

Gotchu

Makigai Namako

Also, there was one thing I was wondering about

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

What what? If it’s fine to portray sexual expressions when we’re dealing with yuri?

Makigai Namako

No. Also, that would ignite a heavy discussion, so don’t even start on that

Makigai Namako

I mean, it’s just the two of us, so why is there a need to create an entire LIME group?

Makigai Namako

Normal messages should be fine for some idle talk, right

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

We might as well

Makigai Namako

We might as well

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Also, if we make a room together for this topic, it’ll be easier to add people later!

Makigai Namako

Don’t add people

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Ehhhh?

Makigai Namako

Again, you better not tell anybody about the secret

Makigai Namako

If you do, president Midori will be the one to end up crying

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Illegal intimidation!

Makigai Namako

Guess president Midori really is quite the effective character to have you understand

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Don’t hurt my little sister! Like in some ero doujiin!

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Like in some ero doujin!

Makigai Namako

Why’d you say it twice

Makigai Namako

Ah, I can see the inn

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Hey, Mashiro-chan

Makigai Namako

Hey hey hey! Stop calling me like that in here!

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Ah, oopsie…

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Anyway, I was just wondering

Murasaki Shikibu-sensei

Why are we using LIME as we’re walking right next to each other

Makigai Namako

So annoying

Makigai Namako

Because it’s easier this way

Note:

---------------------------------------------------------------

1 Same with v3, he uses slang here and there, which is practically impossible to implement. Just keep it in mind

2 ero > piero = clown

3 Probably a Prince of Tennis reference?

4 Basically the ancient idea of a perfect woman > long, glossy hair, doing the household, lives for her husband etc

5 Japanese comics made by fans of series for fans

6 Pretty sure she’s referencing the movie ‘Your name’ here, because in the original, he said ‘Kimi no Na wa’