Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai

“? Aki, why are you leaning forward like that?”

“N-No reason. Nothing at all, yeah.”

I gave a vague wry smile, as I answered Ozu’s question.

—How could I tell him!

In one of the Kanaria residence’s (Kanaria’s residence) changing rooms, the boys’ changing room to be exact, where Ozu and I were changing into our swimsuits. As we had already guessed from the outside, the Kanaria residence looked like one of those rich folk’s homes appearing in movies. White walls, white prisms, white sofas with white chairs, a weird chandelier hanging from the ceiling, the windows delivering perfect sight for the outside sandy beach. Can’t forget about the fish prints and stuffed deers on the walls either.

We talked about immediately going to the sea to play around, which is why we split up in between boys and girls, quickly changing into our swimsuits, to group up again. Naturally, that means that I am currently wearing only my swimming trunks. And now, with this appearance that barely offers any defence, queue in that one LIME message from Iroha just now…Excuse me, but this has to be terrorism.

—Add in my weird behaviour ever since the Ceremony of Marriage. Normally, I would have just ignored it. And yet, why is my heart beating so annoyingly loud right now? Sending me such a seductive message via LIME, and thus enjoying my flustered reaction is a classic annoying action. Yes, purely annoying, with no charm whatsoever to be found in there, and yet—Don’t tell me, is it because I actually like it when she….?

No no no. I shook my head to immediately rid myself of that nonsense. Ozu spotted me in that, and clearly misunderstood that reaction as he approached me.

“Are you embarrassed about your appearance? I really think there’s no need for that, looking at how trained your body is.”

“No, that’s not…Also, stop staring at me.”

“It’s your fault for rocking such a body.”

With a phrase that would get you arrested for sexual harassment if I was a woman, Ozu closely inspected my abs.

“I just trained myself with the bare minimum to stay healthy. Illness of any sort can result in the biggest waste of the resource called life…If you neglect your health too much, you’ll die, you know.”

“I guess~” Ozu gave empty words, as he scratched his cheek.

Though he didn’t have much muscle built on his abs, he didn’t have any unnecessary fat on his stomach either, looking more like a dolphin with slippery white skin, really giving off these handsome guy vibes. It’s a mystery why he doesn’t take a bit better care of his body, he could easily become a model—

“Through your pestering, I arrived at this state, but you know how I really am.”

“If you’re aware of it, then fix it. Though it’s definitely better than your state of self-neglectance.”

“Right?”

“Don’t give me that [Praise me] face. It’s your job to take care of yourself.”

“Ahaha, you’re like a father, Aki.”

“Stop it. I already have to deal with Iroha and Mashiro, so don’t you join in as well, otherwise I’ll feel old.”

“It’s fine, you’re still plenty young after all. The proof for that lies in the fact that you got horny from Iroha’s swimsuit look, right.”

“Wha…?!”

“You’ve been staring at a LIME message from her, weren’t you?”

“Ugh…”

“Knowing Iroha, she probably wanted to meddle with you a bit.”

This guy acted like he was checking my body, but instead…Really, sharp people are such a pain…

“Hmmm…Aki, did you finally realize it?”

“W-What exactly?”

“Iroha’s charm, that is.”

“I accept that she has good looks, and a great style.”

“And her personality?”

“…I can understand why people at school would be going crazy over her. She’s hiding her true personality after all.”

Normally, Iroha is always going at high tension, as annoying as possible, whereas at school, she’s an honor student, with a calm smile. Always talking to everyone equally, be it boy or girl, with a kind smile. The incarnation of a cute girl. And I’m fully aware of that.

“I’m not talking about that Iroha.”

“…What do you mean.”

“Don’t you think that the annoying Iroha is also cute?”

“……Huh?”

Unable to comprehend what Ozu just said, I stared blankly at him.

The annoying Iroha is cute as well? Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.

“Kind towards everyone, showing the face of an honor student, but only showing her real personality to you—isn’t that this gap moe today’s otaku love so much.”

“So annoyingly cute? I see that a lot recently.”

“Exactly. I think it’s a popular attribute.”

“Huh…Well, I did look that up on my usual research, but we’re mainly just talking about the 2D dimension.”

“That’s not something I would have expected to hear from the person who taught me communication with galge.”

“That had its own set of circumstances!”

It was the one only method that worked with Ozu, after trying countless others. I’m the type of person who can separate fiction and reality. But, leaving that aside.

“With manga and anime, you have the protagonist filter, right. When hit with some annoying behaviour, there is no direct stress hitting you, you can easily see the affection of the heroine in her actions, almost rubbing it into the reader’s eyes, so that they can take this annoying act without any worries. In reality, it won’t work out like that.”

Think about it rationally. Who’d get happy about having to deal with someone annoying? Damned masochists.

“Of course, Iroha showing her true self is something good. If I can do it, I’ll gladly take your place, or even Otoha-san’s, as a punching bag. Though it’s annoying. If that helps her and everyone else, then I’ll swallow it down. That being said—”

“It’s different from being cute, you say?”

“Exactly. I do think it’s a shame. Her charm as a member of the opposite sex just doesn’t appear in my eyes.”

“Nothing that would make you fall for her?”

“…Probably not.”

I can’t declare it yet. I have no affirmation yet. I have yet to find out the identity of these feelings I had towards Iroha back at Village Kageishi. f𝒓𝑒e𝙬𝒆𝚋𝘯૦𝘷𝐞𝑙.c𝑜𝐦

“…You really don’t think she has feelings for you?”

“…There’s way too many things that speak against hat.”

“Such as?”

“If her annoying act is her real personality, then that clearly speaks against any chance of her having feelings for me.”

“Why do you think like that?”

“If she did, she would try to show me her good traits. We’re not in a stage of ennui either. Since she isn’t afraid to show me her real personality, yet continues to act annoying, this is the proof that she has no romantic feelings for me.”

“You said the same thing before, didn’t you. Well, you might be right about that.”

“Exactly.”

“Talking about a normal boy-girl relationship, that is.”

“…What are you implying?”

“Human relationships are always distorted, so why can’t she just show her romantic affection in a distorted way either? You just take it for what it is, Aki…But, just taking the general ‘This is romantic affection’ idea…why can’t this be a distorted premise as well?”

“…You sure are making this complicated.”

A hypothesis is important. Countless discoveries and inventions have arrived from a hypothesis. However, the verification of a hypothesis eats up time and risks, and with human relationships, you can’t perfectly put experiments into place. And Iroha isn’t an omnipotent god with easy enough of a heart and voice to see through.

“Stop blurting nonsense and let’s go.”

“Aye aye…Oh, can’t forget about this.”

“What is it…?” I asked, as I tilted my head in confusion, as Ozu bashfully scratched his cheek.

“A swim ring. I’m not the best swimmer.”

“You…The gap is getting stronger and stronger, huh.”

With my genius engineer, as well as a perfect fairytale prince friend, who now even can’t swim properly, I left the changing room.

*

As we stepped out on the sandy beach, the girls apparently hadn’t finished changing just yet, so it was just Ozu and me sitting beneath the parasol as we waited. Resting his body on the reclining chair, Ozu was humming as he played around on his smartphone. Though, he wasn’t just playing around even though it might have looked like it, and rather was using some web service prototype, which allowed him to even program from his smartphone, which Ozu used for his convenience, amusing himself now.

Though these applications hold actually quite the high market value, he only holds enough endurance to keep the service going for the [5th Floor Alliance] so they haven’t been publicly revealed. I’m pretty sure they would sell insanely well, but Ozu himself mentioned he hated the idea of someone else fiddling around with his software.

And as you can see, while Ozu was busy with his programming, I passed the time with worthless thoughts.

This private beach sure is great and all, but if Kanaria-san isn’t here to use it, it kind of feels like a waste to have it rot away. She might as well just open it up for the public, seeing how popular this place could be. The charm is surely enough to rail in some customers. Or letting people rent it a certain amount of times a month, to get some money on the side. The higher the price, the higher the society, which enables you to go by without employees here, saving you some money on the side. People love living with the bare minimum, so the demand could actually pretty high—

Well, something like this. I really do feel bad for having thoughts totally unlike to a normal high school student having come to the beach. But I can’t help it, because otherwise, I might actually think about—Gofu?!

“Ahahahaha! He went ‘Gofu’!”

“O-Ohhhh…”

Hysterical laughter disrupted my business thoughts. As I held my stomach in agony, the watermelon that had previously dropped on it rolled to the ground.

“Y-You…What kind of horrible entrance is that…”

“Ahaha~ Since Senpai will be done in by our watermelons, I thought of giving you some resistance out of the goodness of my heart~”

“I don’t get it, what’s with you and watermelons?”

“Well, watermelon cup-size, you know!”

“Wha, you…!”

First, my body stopped to writhe in pain, at the sudden appearance seductive vocabulary, and then I slowly, almost tenderly, lifted up my head. That’s right, as of now, Iroha should be wearing…

“T-Thanks for waiting…Aki.”

“Here we are~! You can look at my swimsuit as much as you want, so let me see Ozu and Aki together in their swimming trunks as well!”

Mashiro was fidgeting bashfully, whereas Sumire had enough tension for the rest of us.

“……?!”

Seeing Iroha, Mashiro, and Sumire, I couldn’t help but stare at them, as I was left speechless.

Starting with Mashiro. Fabric with a mixture of white and blue, together with a see-through skirt coiled around. A so-called pareo, was it. Her slender shoulders were inducing a desire to protect her, with her navel in plain view, giving a charming sight that would seduce every boy looking at her. Finally, together with her shell-formed earrings she always had on her ears, she looked like a siren, seducing the crew of passing ships.

Following that, Sumire…well, I don’t think I have to depict it all too much. It was the same seductive black swimsuit she previously tried on during our date.

Now, for Iroha. The girl who sent me that selfie of hers via LIME, provoking me. Naturally, the girl who should be wearing a swimsuit to emphasize her overwhelming volume, enough to charm every man on this world—

“Did you think I was wearing a swimsuit? Shame, it’s a rash vest!”

“You…that’s…”

You can’t do that—I feel like the hearts of all the boys in the world have spoken through me. As I was left unable to openly complain at her, Iroha had her rash vest zipper pulled tight, her hand in front of her mouth, audibly grinning at me.

“Ohhh? You’re looking like you were expecting something~? I wonder what exactly you were hoping for, Senpai~?”

“…I wasn’t hoping for anything.”

“Huh~?”

“Also, what was that picture on LIME about.”

“I’m properly wearing the swimsuit beneath this. Just the rash vest on top.”

There are times when I see the protagonist of a gambling anime run his fingers through his hair with a ‘Shit, I was deceived!’, and this might be the first time I can sympathize with them.

“Swimsuit…picture…”

For some reason, Mashiro is holding her head in a defeated manner? Did something happen? I don’t really get it. But then, I realized something, and directed my eyes down at my feet. Wearing the normal beach sandals, Iroha’s leg had a bandage around her ankle.

“…So that’s what it was. Does it still hurt?”

“So you’ve noticed.”

“I forgot until now, sorry.”

“Aha~ So honest. Well, it doesn’t hurt that much anymore!”

“Glad to hear that. But I guess you can’t swim with that.”

“It does sting a bit~ But, playing beach volleyball would be fine!”

“Don’t be too reckless, alright.”

“Ehehehe~ Being injured like this, Senpai immediately goes to spoil me, huh~ Maybe I should just keep the bandage on even after it’s healed~”

“You want me to throw you into the sea right now?” I harshly retorted.

While doing so, my smartphone I left to charge beneath the parasol vibrated. What now…?—I thought, when I saw that I received a swimsuit selfie from Mashiro via LIME.

“…Why would you send it now?”

“R-Reading LIME messages out loud in real-time like this is the worst…No delicacy at all…” Mashiro gave me a hurtful glare.

“I mean, I have to retort on that.”

“S-Shut up. Don’t talk back. Die.”

“Ehhhh…”

Was that supposed to be in opposition to Iroha sending me that selfie? Since she continues to show her affection to me wherever she can, it was probably induced by a feeling of jealousy, but the way of doing it still is ridiculously inefficient.

“Ehhh, only Aki?! I also want some swimsuit selfies from Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan! Send them to my LIME as well!”

“Oh, sure. Give me just—”

“Hey, no sending people’s selfies to others, that’s just the worst!”

“Horrible. No conscience of privacy at all.”

I just wanted to have Sumire shut up, but Iroha and Mashiro threw me glares that could kill.

“S-Sorry. I thought it was fine since Shikibu is part of our group.”

“You’re the commander here, Senpai, so you better take good care of other people’s information, and respect other people’s privacy!”

“I don’t want to hear that from the person who keeps invading my personal room.”

“Didn’t you tell me I could stop by whenever!”

“When I am there, okay?! I didn’t tell you to just enter my room whenever you feel like!!”

“…! ~~~!”

As Iroha and I were having our usual banter, Mashiro bumped into my back with her shoulders. Keeping quiet, she just hid in the shadows of my body, and—

[Mashiro]: This really is weird! If you give Iroha-chan a spare key, you should give your girlfriend Mashiro one as well!

She actually sent me a message via LIME.

“I never gave Iroha a key!”

“A-Again, don’t answer your messages in reality.”

“Weren’t you just hiding your embarrassment by giving it to Onii-chan? That you were too flustered to give it to me directly?”

“I’m telling you you’re wrong, stop being so annoying!”

“Exactly, Iroha-chan. Aki says that you’re wrong, so let’s believe him.”

“Sumire-chansensei…”

“Sumire-sensei, you…”

“Aki gave the key to Ozuma-kun—”

Sumire tapped on both mine and Iroha’s shoulders. Like a mother trying to soothe her children.

“To his boyfriend Ozuma-kun.”

Boyfriend my ass. Seriously what is this woman thinking about?

“Haa…Right as you arrive, it’s getting all noisy…”

“You’re just too calm about all of this. It’s the sea, the one and only, you know.”

“I mean, I get that…But, Iroha, what’s with you and that watermelon?”

“My melons?”

Iroha showed a disgusted expression as she hid her chest behind her rash vest, yet nearly not enough to completely remove it from my sight.

“No! The one you dropped on my stomach!”

“Ah, this?”

I pointed at the watermelon lying in the sand. Iroha picked that up, and grinned at me.

“Of course, this is for an event you cannot miss out on if you come to the sea—Watermelon splitting! Good for you that Iroha-chan was here, because if not, you wouldn’t even have had a girl to do this memorable event with, Senpai~”

“…Shut up. Don’t tease me on every little thing.” I averted my face from her.

Iroha was acting the same way as always. Her speech and conduct, voice, and sense of distance, as annoying as usual. And yet, I can’t directly look her in the face. The one who has changed wasn’t Iroha, but me…?

“Ouch?!”

“Aki…Stop acting so lovestruck.”

Eating an elbow into the side of my stomach, I saw Mashiro’s face colored with a pout. It was a glare filled with jealousy.

“W-What are you on about…that’s not what this is.” I returned weak words of denial towards Mashiro.

But of course, Mashiro, who actually had feelings for me, wasn’t satisfied by this at all.

“…Who cares.” She averted her face again with another displeased expression.

Watching her profile, I let out a sigh. I’m fully aware that I’m doing something horrible. Rejecting Mashiro’s confession, and yet still aware that Mashiro has kept her feelings, I’m busy in search of finding out what this weird emotion I have towards Iroha is about, but Mashiro must surely catch on to that.

That being said, I gave Mashiro a clear rejection on that day. If I distanced myself any further, I would be doing something even more cruel.

—I’m so glad Mashiro isn’t a member of the [5th Floor Alliance].

If she was, depending on my feelings for Iroha, I would become the worst kind of circle crusher. If the [5th Floor Alliance] were to break down because of my emotions and actions, I probably wouldn’t be able to push myself up again…Really, this is the only blessing in disguise here.

*

After that, we started spending our (not very ordinary) youthful day here at the beach.

First, the watermelon splitting game.

“Senpai, over here! Yes, a bit more! Just a bit!”

“W-Why are you luring him towards you…! Not there, Aki. You have to go to the left.”

“Now, now, can the two of you at least let him play in peace? To the right, Aki. If you go right, you will hit the jackpot!!”

“That direction is Onii-chan!!”

“Really, you lot are just going along your desires…Aki, you know who to trust, right? Just walk straight, okay?”

“N-Not fair, two working for Iroha-chan’s directions…Sumire-sensei, help.”

“Eh, me?!”

“Shikibu.”

“Y-Yeah! Agreed! Left, Aki! Go left!”

“You all have no intentions of actually telling me where the watermelon is, right?!”

I retorted to the chaos around me, as I was left blindfolded.

Next, beach volleyball.

“Not like it matters much, but the sight of Senpai after a diving receive is similar to a low-angle photographer aiming for the underwear shot of a cosplayer.”

“It really didn’t matter at all! Just hit it over! I went this far to save it!”

“Are you waiting for a spike of mine so that you can see my butt from beneath the rash vest? Really, Senpai is such a pervert~”

“Focus up already! This is a perfect chance for a spike!”

“Aye aye. If you leave it to the great Iroha-chan, this will be an easy…win!!”

“Murasaki Shikibu-sensei. Diagonal right backwards 1.9 meters, angle of incidence, 77. 6°…Spike!”

“Alright, I won’t let your calculations go to—Wah?!”

“She tripped…”

“She sure did…”

“Ugh…Even though it was perfectly planned, my body couldn’t keep up…this is punishment for my lack of exercise…”

“You’re going to let my calculations go to waste again, Murasaki Shikibu-sensei?”

“Eeek…”

“A small hermit crab being washed away by the waves…so cute…”

“Mashiro…you’re the referee, so properly look at the match.”

We enjoyed a chaotic match with no clear winner.

On top of that, making sand castles.

“It’s doooooone! How about this?! It’s Cinderella’s castle!”

“Ohhh! Sumire-chansensei, that’s what I expected!”

“Amazing…Even the small ornaments are perfect…”

“Phew, I didn’t expect that. So she actually has a shaping sense in 3D as well. Right, Aki?”

“Yeah, these are some good news. But, how did you even learn this, Sumire-sensei? Did you study it on your own?”

“Well, I had some character that I really liked before, so I combined that with my hobby of creating lewd MMDs1. And the original of this sand castle was actually in a shota BL called [Cinderella is a Trap].”

“Woah. You really went all the way…I can’t underestimate the passion of a shotacon…!” Iroha showed odd admiration.

“…Wait a second. You had your job at school, together with the illustrations for us, and your hobby was making MMDs? Where did you even get that time?”

“Twitch”

“Don’t tell me, you were slacking on the illustrations to create MMDs, right?”

“Uu…J-Just go ahead and scorn me! I wanted to create a 3D shota! And I don’t ever have and ever will regret holding such feelings! I will never abandon my Path of the Shota!”

“Alright, I understand how important that was to you. Now kneel down in front of me.”

“You don’t understand it at all?!”

“I’ll have you carry a stone after another on your lap. If you really swear your life to the Path of the Shota, you shouldn’t have a problem with that, right?”

“That’s just straight up torture, isn’t it?! …S-Save me, Mashiro-chan!”

“Sumire-sensei…fight.”

“Noooo?!”

Thinking of future use for Sumire’s unexpected talent, I scolded her.

Like this, we spent a normal enjoyable day on the beach. If some third-person party saw us then, they would have probably thought of us as normal high school students enjoying our lives. What you would call one page of our youth. And there I was, thinking something unnecessary. That I barely really enjoyed myself like in such a fashion. Playing, talking with the others, still being awfully conscious of Iroha, while receiving death glares and constant warnings from Mashiro, the guilt stabbing me in the chest.

Iroha, Mashiro, Sumire, and even Ozu, they were all enjoying themselves, but here I was, acting all annoying…Really, I hate acting inefficiently.

*

「I think it’s a good thing that you’re properly thinking about your relationships with Iroha and Tsukinomori-san though」

「You instigated this, right」

「Everyone is hoping for it」

「…Is that so. Then I’ll give it some more proper thought」

「Yeah, that’s fine. But, don’t end up too deep in the dark, okay?」

「…I’ll take it to heart」