Tomodachi no Imouto ga Ore ni Dake Uzai

The promised day arrived. The summer festival would begin in the evening, but the preparations inside the shopping district and near the shrine were already working at full speed. In the corner of this cheerful and energetic street was a small passage that didn’t reach anybody’s eyes. In this passage, two suspicious individuals walked on fast feet. Wearing deer-hunting hats, sunglasses, mouth masks, and full-body coats even in this summer heat, they looked like the type of people you shouldn’t approach at any costs.

—As you might have guessed, one person was me, and the other was Iroha. Walking down the hill road at the other side of the train station, we made our way to a calm high-class residential district. Careful of the fact that nobody was following us, we headed to our destination inside this district that made us look awfully out of place, yet could be fitting for someone suspicious like us.

The nameplate of the ancient and honorable Japanese house read [Otoi]. We slipped past the gate, and headed on site…Naturally, with permission of the resident. Because it apparently was too much effort, that resident didn’t come to greet us. We walked through the garden, and headed to the storehouse a bit further away. Inside, we walked down the stairs.

“Sup~ …Uhhh, why are you wearing these clothes now?”

Sitting nonchalantly on a luxurious chair that looked like it came from overseas, Otoi-san raised one eyebrow as she inspected our clothes.

“Well, there was a reason we had to sneak around.” I gave a wry smile.

“…Phew! So hoooooot! Why is it so hot?!”

“You can put on the A/C. Remote’s over there.”

“Otoi-san, I love you! Time to put it down to induce the next ice age!”

“Stop it, moron. You’ll get a cold if you cool down this quickly!”

“Ahhh, why are you lifting it up like this?!” Iroha desperately jumped in an attempt to steal the remote back from me.

You darned spoiled child.

“And, why was there a need to sneak around? Must have been something crazy for Aki to risk getting a fever~”

“Ahh, that. Because of my contract with President Tsukinomori—”

As long as he still is suspicious about me being close with another girl besides Mashiro, I can’t just walk outside with Iroha in broad daylight. At least until we have any information on who the spy could be, we have to take utmost care. And, just the fact of Iroha and me heading to Otoi-san’s studio is something I would like to hide.

“…And this is why we had to come here like this.”

“Ahh, I totally get it~ That did happen~”

“Didn’t I tell you about it just a while ago…?”

“I really don’t care~ I’m not part of the [5th Floor Alliance] after all, so I don’t really feel anything towards that contract you keep talking about.”

“Well, that is true…As dry as always, I see.”

It is hard to remember at times, but Otoi-san isn’t a member of the [5th Floor Alliance]. She’s just responsible for the background music and sound effects, helping with Iroha’s recordings. Even if I fulfil the promise with President Tsukinomori, she won’t get employed at HoneyPlay. Though, she didn’t want it herself, so I can’t help it.

“Working in a company is too much of a pain, and I want to work with sounds and music, so the people from the company feel like a bother~”

“That’s why you created your own studio, working like a king in his own castle…”

“A slow life is the best life. Ah, Kohinata. You can eat the sweets in that box over there. They’re a souvenir from Aomori.” 𝘧r𝗲𝑒𝔀𝘦𝙗𝓃oν𝑒l.𝐜𝗼m

“Ohhh, how generous of you, Otoi-san! The kindness of your heart is as profound as a lake!”

“Alright, landmine.”

“Hueh?!” Iroha couldn’t hide her shock.

Although Otoi-san didn’t show any reaction whatsoever, her mood must have dropped low really far if that was a landmine. Normally I’m always the one stepping on landmines all the time, but now Iroha was the victim, huh. Probably because she wasn’t exactly used to it, Iroha was at a loss.

“Eh? Which one? The generous part? Heart? Lake?”

“Explaining it is too much of a bother, so I ain’t going to tell you. Just be careful judgemental phrases like that~”

“Senpaaaaai…!”

“Even if you look at me with tears in your eyes, I can’t do anything…”

I constantly keep stepping on landmines myself. All I can do is write down the words that are dangerous, and stop myself from repeating the same mistake. Though, since I know that ‘The Five Lakes of Mt. Fuji’ is a landmine, I could imagine that it is the ‘Profound as a lake’ this time…But, I’m lacking some critical information in order to fully judge that. It feels like I’m a Ytuber trying not to get banned. At the very least, I should probably change the subject.

“That reminds me, how is your progress with your songwriting?”

“I have an attempt~”

“Ohh, I’d love to listen to that!” Iroha’s expression lit up.

“Same here. If you have anything ready, please let us listen to it!” I jumped in as well.

In order to move away from the subject of landmines—Or rather, in order to show our full admiration for Otoi-san’s creativity, the two of us raised our hands. Though, I really am interested in what kind of song Otoi-san made.

“Seriously~ Well, I guess I can give you a small taste before the recording~”

“Please do!” Iroha looked excited beyond belief, as I could almost see an invisible tail wagging from her behind.

Seeing this, Otoi-san faced her PC, and started operating it. She uploaded the vocal files, and played the music. It was a song created by Otoi-san, who was always calm, collected, almost disinterested in everything. Expecting some soothing and healing music, I focussed on my ears—

“Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!”

—When my eardrums were murdered.

“A death…metal…voice?!”

“Gyaaa?! My ears, my ears?!”

“Did I never tell you? My favorite genre is rock, so I wanted my first song to be a rock song~”

The speakers vibrated like an earthquake was currently happening, as a hellish sound came from them. It was the melody of a ruffian, the tune of hell. Me and Iroha were forced to suffer through this overwhelming melody that started with a death metal voice. However, the song had barely started.

“Gaaaah something weird is coming out of my ears……Hm?”

“Oh? T-This is…!”

Both Iroha and I felt our expressions change. With the loud volume that greeted us right from the start, we had prepared ourselves to suffer a gruesome death, but that stimulus started to feel better and better.

“Huh? Isn’t this…a pretty good song?”

“All sorts of singular substances are creating music inside of my head!”

“Exactly. With the high tempo, it’ll turn your brain cells into mush, robbing you of any rational thinking, because that’s the key point~”

She apparently felt happy having her song praised, as I sensed a bit of joy coming from her monotone voice. What a heart-warming sight…if you take away the fact that this is basically about brainwashing.

“Also, if this is just a test song, then who is singing for it?”

“Ah, I was wondering about that myself.”

Iroha mentioned the question I had in my mind the entire time, which earned her a confused gaze from Otoi-san.

“It’s me though?”

““Eh?””

Iroha’s voice and mine overlapped. Even now, the husky voice sang along the high-tempo rock music. Although it definitely wasn’t something on the level of a pro, not a single note was missed, as the voice possessed a certain charm that made me want to listen more. Utterly confused, I stared blankly at Otoi-san in front of me. As always, she had a lax gaze and posture.

“Well…how can you even make a voice like that?”

“Something weird about it?”

“Not really, it’s pretty great actually…”

It just does not fit your character in the slightest. Thinking about her usual vocal volume, isn’t she using a lifetime’s worth of lung capacity?

—And, after we learned about this unexpected side of Otoi-san, the song played for a few more minutes. Once it came to an end…

“Bravoooooo! Bravo, Otoi-san!”

“That…was great. I’m impressed.”

Iroha gave a round of applause, and I voiced my surprise.

“At this rate, wouldn’t becoming a singer songwriter be a possible feat?!”

“Kohinata…No, you’re saying too much now~”

“I’m clearly not! You can aim for the world, Otoi! A perfect singer OTOI! Your CDs will sell in masses, I can tell! Ehehe.” Iroha kept talking and talking, grabbing Otoi-san’s shoulders.

Shaken side to side inside her chair, Otoi-san looked over at me.

“So annoying…Hey, Aki? Is this her rumoured annoying attitude? I fully understand your feelings now…”

“I’m glad to hear that someone understands my pain. But, even this annoying side of hers—”

—Isn’t half bad, right? I was about to blurt that out carelessly.

Otoi-san caressed the head of Iroha like a caring mother.

“Well, you’re right~” She showed a satisfied response.

Gently pushing Iroha away, who rubbed her cheeks on her, Otoi-san returned to her business mode…Well, I guess you wouldn’t be able to tell since her expression barely changed, so just trust me.

“This isn’t the time for a boring sub-event like this, right~? Let’s get this recording started, and you go inside the booth~”

“Okaaay~ I’ll show you my outstanding talent, and that I won’t lose against Otoi-san!” Iroha grinned, showing her white teeth.

She took out the script from her bag, and energetically stepped into the booth. I watched her off, and spoke up.

“I know that the way she praised you must have seemed over the top, but she was really moved. And, you should know that I’m not the type to make up praise that I don’t mean…You really are amazing, Otoi-san.”

“…Is that so.”

Her response was short, and her expression showed no change. But, having been with her for such a long time, I could tell that she was really happy.

*

‘A scent reigns. Poisonous like a rose, fragrant such wine…A truly exquisite scent.’

The recording of Kokuryuuinkugetsu’s lines went smoothly. Together with the help and advice of the super idol editor Kiraboshi Kanaria, it feels like this character is the magnum opus of the [5th Floor Alliance].

‘Let us begin this banquet of darkness! Be drunk of the alcohol that I has poured, and expose thyself~’

Together with the charm of being a girl with middle-schooler syndrome, and an annoying attitude on top, she became the strongest character with both light and shadow mixed together, and adding Iroha’s acting, her entire being was even more fleshed out.

‘No soul enjoys solitude. All that has led I to treasure solitude is the reality of mine crossing any human intellect on strength.’

Otoi-san on her end started to get serious as well, as she leaned forward in her seat. So much that she started to look like a cat.

‘Let me bestow mine praise upon thee. Thou art the first to touch the deep shards of mine. Upon this pledge, I shall offer mine all to thee.’

The time of the recording felt thick, stimulating, as if the time in the world started passing more slowly, the laws of physics being ignored.

‘—I jest~ What hast thou anticipated, mine adorable pervert~’

Yeah, that’s exactly it. That’s the charming point of that character. Watching this, I can yet again confirm that my hopes, my aspirations as of late, aren’t wrong in the slightest. I want to share this annoying yet cute charm with lots of people. I want her to make friends that accept her exactly for what she is…It’s just me and my ego, meddling with other people’s affairs. Although my acting can be taken in a negative way, I have no plans of stopping, because that’s what I am. Sorry about this, Iroha. I’ll have to ignore whatever your opinion may be, and continue to annoyingly, thoroughly, and forcefully make you grow like the producer I am.

*

The recording ended safely. The time of day showed that it was turning towards 5pm. Being underground like this, losing your sense of time is an easy feat, but the second we would step outside, we’d surely be greeted by a sky turning red.

Iroha stepped out of the booth, looking refreshed, as she had a beaming smile. I myself felt like today was one of her best days, but apparently the person herself was pretty much aware of it. She swiftly picked up her belongings, and turned towards us.

“Alright, I’ll be going on ahead then. I’m meeting up with my friends after all.”

“Yeah, enjoy yourself.”

“You too, Senpai. Will a virgin like you be able to properly escort Mashiro-senpai, I wonder?”

“No need for you to worry about that. I finished all my preparations with movies and manga as my basis.”

“Wah, this one’s done for (LOL).”

“Zip it…Just head out already.”

As if I had any confidence in going on a date like this. Not to mention that Mashiro was taking care of this fake date to begin with, so I’m the one being escorted if anything. For some reason, I got really bad vibes from this…

“Yeah yeah~ I’m going ahead then!”

“Yeah, see you.”

“Bye~”

Otoi-san and I softly waved our hands, and watched Iroha leave the studio.

“You’re not going Aki? You have a promise with Tsukinomori, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I still have a bit of time left until the meeting. Also, it would be trouble to follow Iroha now without a disguise since President Tsukinomori might spot us.”

“I see~ That’s why you’re taking your time.” Otoi-san said with a satisfied tone, reaching out for the sweets box to take out a chupadrop.

Peeling off the plastic wrapping, she stuffed it into her mouth, and licked it…Or I think she does, her expression isn’t changing at all so I don’t have any evidence.

“Lying is such a pain~ You gotta think about all sorts of stuff.”

“Well, it’s just a ‘What if’ thinking, I guess. Also, I memorized most of the faces in Iroha’s class so I can easily spot her at the festival.”

“Hmm? So you’re going to tail her after all?”

“If I don’t find her during the festival, I’ll give up on that, but if I do spot her, then I might as well…”

“Phew, you’re turning into a great bastard alright.”

“Ouch…? Weren’t you the one who told me to stalk her?”

“No, not that~” Otoi-san pulled the chupadrop out of her mouth, and drew a circle into the air. “Tsukinomori is in love with you, right? Tailing another girl while she’s with you is quite the shitty bastard move you’re pulling here~”

“Ugh…” Her comment was as sharp as it could have been.

“Yeah…I guess that’s true. Although it’s a fake date, she probably enjoys her time with me…”

“Very likely~” ƒ𝑟𝐞𝗲𝘄𝙚𝚋𝑛ｏ𝙫𝒆𝒍.𝒄𝘰𝓂

“Then should I just go on the date with Mashiro as she wants me to, and not worry about Iroha…?”

“That is just as awful~ That would mean that you don’t really care about Kohinata after all~”

“So what should I do about this…”

“I feel like you got yourself stuck the second you created this entire situation~”

“Ugh…”

—In reality, it’s just as Otoi-san says. Be it my plans of getting the [5th Floor Alliance] employed in Honey Plays Works, or my desire for Iroha to get friends, all of it was something I decided to do, leaving me no room to make excuses. Even though I rejected Mashiro’s confession, I continued this fake lovers relationship for my own convenience. And, what makes matters worse, Mashiro herself wishes for this relationship to continue as well. In the end, am I just relying on this relationship?

“You rejected her confession, right?”

“Yes. Because I have my promise with Iroha and you. So I will throw away my youth.”

“I see~ So it’s a super half-baked relationship.”

“To be honest, I feel horrible, and horribly guilty for this towards Mashiro. But, when I ask her what to do, she doesn’t give me any worthwhile response.”

She can’t be my lover, and I can’t think about love right now—although it’s pathetic of me, that’s the answer I gave her. But, Mashiro said she wouldn’t give up like that, and won’t cancel the fake lover relationship either because of her own contract with her father.

Finally, once we made it into summer break, the entire mess happened at Village Kageishi, and I even started feeling something suspicious towards Iroha, so much that I don’t even understand my own feelings anymore. Even if I know of Mashiro’s feelings, and try to face it, I still need to keep everything the same because of my own convenience. Of course, I’m not doing this because I want to. It just sounds like feeble excuses because of the circumstances.

“I guess it really depends on how I deal with Mashiro. Should I act like the confession never happened after all? Or should I be careful that I don’t hurt her any more than this?”

“Hmmm…Well, I don’t really understand a lot about love and all that~” Otoi-san watched the chuadrop reflecting the light, as she started thinking.

With her usual loose tone, no intonation whatsoever inside of it, her following words still possessed unmeasurable impact.

“Wouldn’t it show that chivalrous spirit more if you just silently accepted the label of a shitty dirty bastard?”

It’s been a while since I heard words that made me feel as if I had been hit on the head by a hammer. I grew silent, just chewing on those words, where Otoi-san apparently sought for some other words to explain her thoughts, as an ‘Ahhh’ voice came out of her mouth. Did she turn into a zombie?

“You’re stuck, I guess. Now you’re going to be the shitty bastard either way, right~”

“Yeah…That makes sense.”

“Then, why not at least show a good face while being one.”

“…Well…yeah…”

I don’t want to hurt Mashiro. I want to have a sincere relationship. But, I don’t see any way to fulfill this wish. Now that I know of Mashiro’s actual feelings, if I want to continue this fake relationship for my own sake, I’m truly the worst kind of shitty bastard. If I can at least act like a proper human being in the midst of that… If I really feel bad for Mashiro, then the only thing I can do is move for my own sake, do what I need to do, and be as honest as I can with Mashiro. That is my own and only possible answer.

“Thanks, Otoi-san. I feel like I’m starting the stance that I should take in all of this.” I don’t have much confidence in it though.

I’ve lived ten years without touching the principle of youth or romantic feelings, so how would I have confidence in that.

“That’s what I expect from the girl who improved her songwriting at Mount Osore. Your words are so profound.”

“Are you making fun of me~?”

“Of course not. I wouldn’t dare do such a thing.” I returned a smile, whilst fearing for my life.

…I don’t know what kind of emotion I will end up holding during my fake date with Mashiro. Neither do I know what emotion is the correct one to have. But, now that I have learned that even inefficient feelings and desires, the concept of youth, is important in order to properly act as a producer for the [5th Floor Alliance]…I probably have to look at Mashiro even more directly, look at the girl that she is. Even if we can’t start dating because of the contract with President Tsukinomori. At the very least, I want to find out my own feelings.

“But, even if you’re a shitty bastard, you better not be doing it bareback, alright?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, okay!”

*

「I’ll gather your bones, okay」

「Don’t just decide that I’ll die」

「Unless you’ll end up on a boat, then I probably won’t be able to1」

「I want to believe that being blinded by love to such a level won’t happen in today’s world…maybe」

1 Possibly a School Days reference? Way too obscure to tell for sure