Wedding Impossible

I was lost for words. Lee JiHan’s eyes, which were looking into mine, looked so desperate that my heart became heavy. I wanted to tell him immediately that I would do as he asked. Oh! Is this guy trying to gain my sympathy? To get away from his brother. The sudden suspicion brought me back to my senses.

“Of course not!”

“Why not?” Lee JiHan asked, looking even more unnerved after he saw me get offended.

I was right. With that face and those sad eyes, he knows no girl could say no to him. That’s what he was after.

To not get sucked into his ploy, I gathered myself and replied firmly, “Why not? Because it’s impossible to stop your heart with your mind.”

JiHan looked at me quizzically.

“However much you want to stop it, you can’t stop what the heart wants. You can stop or move your hands or feet with your head, but that’s not possible with your heart.”

I put my right hand over heart and continued. “And because love is already in here, I can’t stop it. Neither with my head nor my will.”

While I’m at, should I do this too? I put up my left hand also, and with both hands at my heart, I made the shape of a heart. “As long as my heart is beating, my love will never stop.”

My heart beat erratically as if laughing at the ridiculousness of it all, but without a single change in expression, I continued my act as if this was my truth and I really hoped this truth could be seen by JiHan.

JiHan looked at me pathetically.

“If you really are in love...then you can’t possibly say those kinds of things with a clear head,” he muttered to himself.

“What?”

Lee JiHan shook his head as I questioned him, and instead of a response, he asked me another question.

“If you stop, do you think you will die?”

It didn’t sound like he was being sarcastic or demanding. It sounded like he was sincerely and carefully asking me if that was the case. It was as if he was worried about me.

“Of course!”

I wasn’t sure why he was asking this, but I answered confidently anyways. At my response, Lee JiHan’s head drooped.

“I really don’t know what I should do.”

You’re saying you don’t know what you have to do to me to get me to stay away from your brother, right? Now that annoying me is not working, did he change tactics to try to gain my sympathy instead? I’m not falling for that.

With a positive spirit, I scooped up a spoonful of abalone porridge and gave it to Lee JiHan.

“You must be contemplating how to get rid of me, but before you do that, eat the porridge first. You have to get back your energy. What could you possibly do in this state? First, eat this, regain your energy, then you can continue thinking about it.”

I crouched down to try to get a look at JiHan’s lowered face. I then put the spoon to his mouth. He hesitated, but surprisingly, took it without a fight. He was like a stray cat that had finally decided to lower his guard and take the food I was offering. I was not only surprised but ecstatic.

After swallowing, Lee JiHan opened his mouth and said, “It’s tasty.”

“Really?!” I knew it would taste good, but I didn’t expect him to actually say it out loud and so nicely.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked.

I really didn’t think he would have the courtesy to take me into consideration. I was so taken aback that the surprise I was feeling crept into my voice.

“Me?”

“I’m not in a state to cook today. I can’t make a meal for you so let’s just share this,” he said.

“Oh, no, it’s okay! I can just eat the abalone porridge that I made. You should eat all the porridge made from the famous chef. It’s not like there is a lot, you don’t have to share with the likes of me,” I said as I sat down across from him.

I went to pour myself a bowl of my abalone porridge, which had been pushed aside by the hotel porridge, but JiHan grabbed my wrist with one hand and my porridge in the other.

“Then I’ll eat this,” he said.

“What?”

“You can eat this one.” Lee JiHan let go of my hand and pushed the hotel abalone porridge over to me.

“You don’t have to, you said it didn’t taste good.”

“The bitter one is probably better for my health.” Lee JiHan answered and scooped up my version of the abalone porridge.

He went on to take a spoonful and put it to his mouth but stopped his motion. He must have been unable to go through with it. Eventually, Lee JiHan let the spoon slip into the bowl of porridge, and in the next moment, he lifted the entire bowl with his two hands. With a scrunched up face, he squeezed his eyes shut and drank the entire abalone porridge in one go.

If it was that disgusting, why is he even bothering to finish it off? I stared at him, blinking in confusion, while JiHan emptied the bowl and slammed it back onto the table. With his face scrunched up even more, he let out a plea for help. ƒ𝑟𝙚e𝔀𝗲𝒃n𝒐𝘷𝗲Ɩ.c𝗼𝚖

“Something sweet!

“What?”

Lee JiHan shot up from his seat and headed for the refrigerator. He picked up the cider from the fridge and drank it straight out of the bottle.

***

After the strange dinner, Lee JiHan stayed locked up in his room and didn’t think to come out. This morning he had followed me around all day during my day off to watch me, but now he was nowhere to be found.

Is he preparing an even more excruciating test? When this calm is over, is he going to come back with a vengeance blowing his whistle in full force? Like a newly freed bird that was afraid to venture outside, I paced nervously around the living room chewing on my fingernails.

I texted JiKyung to discuss the situation with him.

[We don’t know when Lim DaeChul will show up so it might be better to move.]

“Can’t you just tell him that you’re abroad and no one is at home?” f𝒓𝗲𝗲𝒘𝑒𝚋ｎoѵ𝒆𝗹.co𝗺

[We might be able to avoid it for a while, but if he comes over once we’re married, it will be a pain. Let’s just move to a new house.]

“But if we move all of a sudden to a new house, wouldn’t your brother think it’s weird? There’s no real reason.”

JiKyung didn’t reply back to my message for a long time.

[Just tell him that I told you to do it.]

“You can’t think of a good enough excuse either, can you?”

[Yea. If I was to tell him I have a stalker, then he will want to catch him and make the situation worse. If I say I don’t like the feel of the house, he will find some professional to pick out a house for us....]

“The feel of the house? Your brother believes in that stuff also?”

[Yep. All the lucky talismans stuck around the house were put there by JiHan.]

Is Lee JiHan in his room right now sticking pins into a voodoo doll that has my name on it? I glared at the bedroom suspiciously.

[For now, just tell him it was my request and switch houses. If JiHan asks for a reason, just beat around the bush until you can think of one.]

“All right. Although if I come out like this, I’m the one that’s going to get pounded. The Korean daughter-in-laws’ fate is that they are always at fault even if the husband makes the mistake. But I’m fine with that.”

I’m fine. But when you return, you’ll be dead meat by hand. I sent this deep meaning message to JiKyung.

[....I’ll bring a present.]

This guy, he knows how to gain love from a girl. The downside is that he doesn’t know how to give love to a girl.

“Don’t we also have to change the reception venue? DaeChul sunbae saw the wedding invitation.”

Even if it was a contract wedding, I was not looking forward to unwelcome guests, so I suggested this to JiKyung.

[Yea. We probably should. If we change the venue, we should edit the wedding invitation too. I’m sorry for causing such a hassle.]

“No, it’s my fault I dropped the invitation. Dating that jerk was not your fault.”

I had gotten so used to JiHan’s criticizing style that I too was using sophisticated sarcasm to bring to light the other’s faults. After sending the message, I sat and waited for JiKyung’s reply. Suddenly, I heard the sound of the door opening from the bedroom. I jumped in surprise and reflexively laid down on my makeshift bed. With my eyes closed, I pretended to sleep and honed my senses to feel Lee JiHan’s presence. If I hear the whistle, I will wake up, I told myself as I continued to feign sleep.

JiHan’s footsteps ominously started coming toward my direction. *Thump, thump, thump*

His footsteps stopped above my head. My day off has ended, let hell begin. The whistle will now wake me up. I waited in preparation to hear the whistle. But the sound of the whistle never came. Instead, I heard Lee JiHan’s footsteps coming toward me, and soon his arms were wrapped around my shoulders. What is this?! Lee JiHan’s other arm supported my legs. Slowly, without any faltering, he lifted me up and started taking me somewhere.

Why is he doing this? Why isn’t he waking me up? Is he going to throw me away? Outside? Anxiously, I peeked through my eyelashes, thinking that if I got caught, I could just pretend that I was waking up. JiHan was not heading for the front door; he was taking me to the guest room, where I had originally wanted to reside. Why is he bringing me here? If he’s not intending to throw me away, why is he acting like this? I grew more and more curious of JiHan’s motives, so I continued to feign sleep. He walked a few more steps and slowly put me down.

What the...I was baffled to find my body caught by the soft bed below me. JiHan even tucked a blanket over me. Ah ha. I must be dreaming, although I can’t tell where the dream started and where it ended. But anyways this was a dream. It could only be a dream, this situation.

As I was trying to make sense of it, I heard a sigh that seemed too real to be a dream. Then I heard his footsteps move farther and farther away. Finally, I heard the door close carefully behind him.

After the door closed, not a single sound could be heard, so I slowly opened my eyes. I was in the guest room alone, lying serenely on the bed. Confused, I looked around the dark room, to make sure that this wasn’t a dream. Why did he move me to the guest room while I was sleeping? I tried to understand Lee JiHan’s actions. I thought and thought about it.

He is definitely planning something. It can’t be anything good, can it? This is just a new way he is planning to bother me. I remembered sitting on this bed a month ago and being forced to move to the living room, just to hear the sound of that damn whistle. This room had been too far to hear the whistle being blown from his bedroom, and if I couldn’t hear the whistle, JiHan would deduct points from me.

Ah! That jerk! He is planning to blow his whistle from his room after moving me to the guest room so I can’t hear it! It finally felt like the puzzle pieces were coming together. Ha, you think I won’t be able to hear if you do that? I tiptoed away from the bed toward the door. Sneakily, without making any noise, I peeked my head outside the door. Past the dark living room, I could see the light on in the bedroom as the door closed. JiHan must have just gone into his bedroom.

Just in case, I tiptoed like a thief and carefully, while holding my breath, snuck back to the living room. You just blow that whistle. I’ll run to you like the wind and knock you off your feet! I sat with my arms crossed and listened intently for the sound coming from the bedroom, but even when morning came, no sound ever came from the bedroom.

I had been nodding off to sleep in a crouched position when a voice woke me up. I forced my eyes open and turned my head to the bedroom. There, I saw Lee JiHan coming out of his bedroom. He stepped into the living room without thinking, and his eyes widened upon finding me there. Lee JiHan blinked with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Why are you here?”

“Because this is my spot. I’m supposed to be here.”

“No, I moved you to the guest room last night, so why are you here.”

Lee JiHan revealed that he moved me last night instead of hiding it. I had thought that he would hide that fact and make me look stupid. But with the unexpected turn of events, I swallowed dryly and tried to figure out what to do next.

“You moved me last night? I thought I was sleepwalking when I found myself on top of the bed.”

I pretended to not know what happened. I explained that I didn’t want to be accused of faking sleep when I wasn’t, so I came back out to the living room. It’s not like I could tell him the truth.

“I moved you. Watching you sleep in the living room didn’t seem right,” JiHan replied without any sort of secrecy.

“You should have just woken me up. You didn’t have to move me yourself,” I replied.

“I couldn’t really keep track of time yesterday, and I just happened to see you when I came out to the living room. It was a bit late to wake you up, but I didn’t want you to continue sleeping there. So I moved you.”

At his articulate and sincere words, my mind drew a blank. He moved me because he was worried about me?

“You can keep using that room from now on,” he added.

“Uh, why?!” I was so shocked by his act of kindness that I practically yelled the question.

“The living room is uncomfortable.”

When did you ever worry about my comfort? The more I heard, the less I could trust him, and my suspicions rose. I’m certain. He knows I can’t hear the whistle if I use the guest room, so that’s what he’s after.

“No, it’s okay. The living room is comfortable enough. I lived in the living room at my old house too. And plus, this living room is ten or twenty times bigger! I’ll just keep using it. I like it here.”

“How long have you been living in a living room?” asked JiHan.

“Huh?”

“You said you always used the living room. How long did you use the living room for?”

I searched my memory to find the answer to JiHan’s question. When I was in middle school, we had gone bankrupt. We moved from place to place, trying to avoid the loan collectors. We weren’t able to finally buy a house until I was in high school. By the time my stepmother, father, and my two step-siblings had claimed their rooms, there was nowhere left except the living room and the bathroom.

“About 15 years...Yeah. It’s been about that long. 15 years.”

“Then it must be because you haven’t used a room in 15 years, but if you try using it, you’ll find that it is much more comfortable. Stop fighting it and just use it.” After saying that much, Lee JiHan headed to the kitchen.

“But If I stay there, It will be hard to hear...that whistle,” I mumbled, getting up quickly.

Lee JiHan stopped to turn and look at me. “The whistle, I threw it away,” he said.

“What?”

“You will no longer have to see that.”

I stared at him in shock.

“Just go to your room and sleep. Your face looks like you definitely need it. Go and comfortably sleep some more, and when you wake up, come out to eat breakfast.” JiHan walked swiftly to the kitchen as if there was nothing else left to say.

Seeing that, I was at a loss for words. Nothing seemed to come to mind. While my mind was drawing a blank, JiHan put on an apron and opened the fridge. As if he really wasn’t going to tell me to do anything, he took the ingredients and concentrated on prepping them. Is he testing me? “I’m going to see how well you do without me commanding you to.” Is that it? No, no, it’s not! It’s isn’t!

I gathered my mental capabilities and followed Lee JiHan.

“I want to work, I want to work! What should I do? Cleaning? Laundry?” I asked.

“It’s okay, just rest.” JiHan didn’t even spare me a look and continued to cut the vegetables.

“No, I really want to work. That’s what will make me comfortable. Oh! Should I pull out the weeds? I rested yesterday, so new weeds might have come out.”

“I told you to rest! Why can’t you just rest?!” Lee JiHan yelled, his face flushed in anger. “Go rest in your room!”

I jumped and stepped back. If I didn’t rest, I felt like I would get in big trouble. I checked his reaction and slowly continued to step back until I passed the living room and arrived at the guest room.