What It's Like Being a Vampire

Chapter 514: Chapter 514: Crosstalk and Hide and Seek

Xiang Kun looked innocently at Yang Lao San, “I really didn’t threaten him, I just honestly pointed out the potential health problems he might face and gave him some health advice. The atmosphere was always friendly and harmonious.”

“So your health advice is to go to bed early, get up early, eat a vegetarian diet, drink water, and practice Tai Chi?” Tang Baona couldn’t help but speak before Yang Zhen Er, then burst into laughter after she finished speaking.

Yang Zhen Er sighed at her best friend: “Nana, your humor standards are quite low!” Then she said to Xiang Kun: “So why would he listen to you? Look at me. I’ve told Nana to keep her health up, to go to bed early, get up early, eat vegetables, drink water and practice Tai Chi, and all she does is laugh. She definitely wouldn’t take these actions seriously.”

Xiang Kun laughed, “I didn’t ask him to practice Tai Chi. I just asked him to go to bed early, get up early, and drink more water, which is a perfectly normal suggestion. As for why he listened, he probably feels there’s something wrong with his health, or maybe my words were sincere and believable.”

“Hmm, you’re sincere and believable? You’re the biggest swindler! Just because you’re bald doesn’t mean you’re a monk, and wearing glasses doesn’t make you a scholar!” Yang Zhen Er retorted.

The three of them bantered and laughed as they entered the elevator.

Suddenly Tang Baona thought of something and said, “By the way, Xiang Kun, all these things about VR social networking that Zhang Qian talked about seem to require a lot of technical reserves. They also involve hardware issues. How could you agree to do them so confidently? Our company doesn’t have these resources, does it…?”

Xiang Kun smiled, “For now, we’re just brainstorming. It’s not like we need to implement everything immediately. We’ll research it and see how far we can go.”

Yang Zhen Er immediately said, “Nana, mark my words, Chef Xiang is just trying to trick our Director Zhang! When Director Zhang asks him later, ‘Mr. Xiang, how are you going to solve these technical issues?’ He’ll probably say, ‘With the support of my secret organization’s technology!’”

Xiang Kun seriously said, “Old Three, don’t be confused! You can’t just go around talking about the secret organization. You need to strengthen your sense of confidentiality!”

Tang Baona laughed, “Alright, you two are really something, it’s like you’re putting on a comedy show.”

When they reached their floor and stepped out of the elevator, Tang Baona sighed, “Time flies. It seems like just recently that we three, along with Old Xia, played cards and board games for the first time, went to the archery range, helped Xiang Kun taste-test his dishes, and then in a blink of an eye, we’re all starting a company together.”

Yang Zhen Er laughed, “That’s because not much time has passed! We met Chef Xiang in July or August of last year. Speaking of Old Xia, I wonder what they’re doing in the village now. I’m going to video call Old Xia and see my baby Xiao Lingdang.”

“Xiao Lingdang and Xiao Pingguo should be napping now, you shouldn’t disturb them,” Tang Baona said.

“It’s okay, if they’re napping, Old Xia won’t answer the video call, she’ll just hang up,” Yang Zhen Er reasoned.

As they arrived at their respective room doors, Old Xia answered the video call.

Instead of going back to his own room, Xiang Kun followed Yang Zhen Er into their room to join the video call with Old Xia. He wanted to tell Liu Shiling about her dad’s situation to calm her down.

“Old Xia, what did you kids have for lunch? Where are Xiao Lingdang and Xiao Pingguo?” Yang Zhen Er asked.

“We had steamed buns from the fridge for lunch. Xiao Lingdang and Xiao Pingguo are getting ready to play hide-and-seek,” Xia Libing answered.

“Steamed buns from the fridge? The ones made by Chef Xiang? What did you have for breakfast then?” Yang Zhen Er couldn’t help but ask.

“We had steamed buns for breakfast too,” Xia Libing replied.

“What about last night? Don’t tell me from the time we left till now, you have been eating steamed buns for every meal?” Yang Zhen Er asked in surprise.

“If that was the case, we wouldn’t have enough buns,” Xia Libing said, “We ate at Youlong Restaurant for lunch and dinner yesterday.”

At this moment, Liu Shiling ran down from the stairs, leaned towards Xia Libing and asked, “Are Sister Chicken Wing and Sister Chicken Wing ready yet?”

Instead of answering, Xia Libing pointed the front camera of her phone at her.

Seeing Yang Zhen’er, Tang Baona, and Xiang Kun on the other side of the mobile screen, Liu Shiling immediately greeted them joyfully: “Old Immortal Sister! Pretty Sister! Uncle Bald!”

Yang Zhen’er didn’t bother to correct Little Fatty Girl’s nicknames anymore. She figured since Old Xia had evolved from “Grilled Chicken Sister” to “Chicken Sister,” she might soon naturally transition from “Old Immortal Sister” to just “Immortal Sister”.

“Little Lingdang, did you miss us? Your Sister Nana and I have bought you so many delicious and fun things!” Yang Zhen’er proudly chimed in.

Liu Shiling nodded repeatedly in confirmation, “Missed!”

Then she looked towards the upper left of the screen, where only half of Xiang Kun’s face was visible behind Yang Zhen’er, and said, “When is Uncle Bald coming back? We’re almost out of dumplings.”

Xiang Kun laughed, “Soon, I’ve almost finished dealing with things here. I should be back tomorrow. Little Lingdang, your dad is basically okay now, he and your mom can probably come and pick you up soon.”

At these words, Liu Shiling’s expression became even brighter. However, as if suddenly thinking of something, she told Xiang Kun: “Uncle Bald, tell my mom and dad to take their time, not to rush, I’m fine.”

Not just Xiang Kun, but Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er also broke into smiles. Seeing the slightly embarrassed expression on Little Fatty Girl, they knew that she was having a blast in Chongyun Village with Xiao Pingguo, and possibly didn’t want to leave yet.

A while later, Xiao Pingguo also came over to greet Xiang Kun and the others.

About ten minutes later, Xia Libing ended the video call and then left the house with Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl.

Just now, she mentioned that Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo were playing hide and seek. Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er naturally assumed they were playing in the house they were staying in.

Even though Xiao Pingguo is blind, she’s very intuitive. With reliable Old Xia watching over, Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er weren’t worried about any problems.

However, what they didn’t know was that “hide and seek” for Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo was not confined to the interior of the house, but spanned the entirety of Chongyun Village, even including a small portion of the nearby woods.

This was “Coin Hide and Seek” or “Coin Treasure Hunt,” a game designed by Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo.

The “Egg Duo” – Little Fatty Girl and Custard Pie, would first hide coins all over the village. Then the “Golden Fruit Duo” – Xiao Pingguo and Gold Glitter, would search for the coins.

Of course, the roles could be reversed too, with Xiao Pingguo and Gold Glitter hiding coins and Little Fatty Girl and Custard Pie searching for them.

The coins couldn’t be Little Fatty Girl’s “Five Little Elf Guardians” or the coins Xiang Kun gave Xiao Pingguo for “Object Sensing” practice – that wouldn’t leave any suspense at all.

Especially the coins belonging to Little Fatty Girl – she could control them remotely. If someone were about to find them, she could simply make them run away – she would never lose.

Thus, the “super-connected objects”, in this case, coins for the game, were supplied by Old Xia.

To prevent cheating, Alice couldn’t assist Xiao Pingguo with sensing her surroundings. She could only act as a referee and ensure the safety of the two girls and their pet cat and bird.

Of course, to be extra sure, whether Little Fatty Girl was hiding coins or Xiao Pingguo was seeking, Old Xia would be by their side, keeping an eye on them.

Chongyun Village was usually empty during the day, as most people were working in the nearby town or fields. Moreover, Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo mainly chose areas near the edge of the village where there were even fewer people, allowing them to fully engage in their game.

Xiao Pingguo could rely on her Minion Wood Carvings to remotely project emotions in preparation mode, which helped her gain a rough awareness of the super-connected object network around her.

She learned this ability a few nights ago while working with Alice to remotely project fear onto the Five Super Masterpieces through hyperstimulation in order to deter a man with bad intentions.

And during her days of practice with Alice, she had become quite familiar with the arrangement of super-connected objects in Chongyun Village. If she encountered a newly placed super-connected object while searching, she could let Gold Glitter check it to see if it was a coin hidden by Little Fatty Girl.

Little Fatty Girl, on the other hand, could rely on Custard Pie’s sense of smell or trace the weak connections between other “super-connected objects” using the five strongly connected coins on her body to search for hidden coins.

As long as she got close enough, she could determine where the super-connected objects were, and then have the Custard Pie to confirm whether it was Old Xia’s.

Using the entire Chongyun Village as a “game map” certainly made the game more fun, the hunt became more interesting. The two girls, one big and one small, and their pet partners were having a great time, drenched in sweat.

To Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl, Chongyun Village was truly the most fun “amusement park” in the world, with countless gameplay possibilities to explore.

At night, although Little Fatty Girl and Xiao Pingguo could still search for super-connected objects, Old Xia wouldn’t allow them to play any longer, taking them home for a bath and dinner.

After dinner, sitting on the first floor sofa, Xiao Pingguo who was studying origami with Liu Shiling suddenly asked, “Xiao Lingdang, do you like listening to cross-talk?”

“Is cross-talk that thing where two people dressed in ancient clothes argue with each other?” Liu Shiling asked uncertainly.

“It’s not arguing, but a performance. Come, Alice, help me find a cross-talk by Yue Yunpeng.” Xiao Pingguo said as she reached for her phone.

The phone then started playing a fairly famous cross-talk performed by Yue Yunpeng and Sun Yue.

After watching for a few minutes, Xiao Pingguo asked, “What do you think?”

Little Fatty Girl, who barely understood, said confusedly, “That Uncle with small eyes seems very impressive.”

Xiao Pingguo knew that Little Fatty Girl probably didn’t quite ‘get’ the humor of the cross-talk, but she didn’t intend to promote cross-talk to Little Fatty Girl in the first place, instead she said, “Xiao Lingdang, let’s perform cross-talk together!”

“Huh?” Little Fatty Girl was taken aback, “I don’t know how to do it, Sister Xiao Pingguo.”

“No worries, you just need to be my stooge, it’s really easy! We can rehearse a show and then perform it for Uncle Xiang, Sister Nana and the others to see. When you go back to kindergarten, you can even pair up with other classmates or even teachers to perform! They’ll be so surprised!” Xiao Pingguo was grinning from ear to ear, already brewing many cross-talk themes that would work well with Little Fatty Girl in her mind. Just thinking about them made her happy. Little Fatty Girl’s misunderstanding of cross-talk humor didn’t interfere with her role as a performer.

“What’s a stooge, is it very hard to be one? Like holding a bowl? Do I just have to stand by and hold it?” Little Fatty Girl asked while scratching her head, still a bit confused.

“No, it’s about helping me extend the conversation,like when I say something, you just add ‘Right!’,’Good!’,’Isn’t it!’,’Never heard of it!’,’Ah!’,’Exactly!’ or something like that.” Xiao Pingguo tried to persuade her gently.

“Just say anything at will? I’m afraid I won’t remember… How about you get Sister roast chicken wing to help you hold it, Sister Xiao Pingguo.” Little Fatty Girl said unconfidently.

Sister Roast Chicken Wing had been sitting with them, watching her notebook computer all the time. It didn’t seem like she was busy, so Little Fatty Girl thought she would be able to hold the ‘bowl’ well for Xiao Pingguo. After all, Sister Roast Chicken Wing is a super-skilled magician, it would be totally normal for her to be proficient in anything.

“Actually, I’ve thought about performing cross-talk with Big Sister Bing before, but now I really want to do it with you. I have so many sketches in mind, come on, it’s not hard, it’s really easy!” Xiao Pingguo got more and more excited as she spoke. Jinshanshan, who was standing on the windowsill, could sense her owner’s excitement, and tilted his head, looking puzzled.

So, under Xiao Pingguo’s persuasive influence, Little Fatty Girl finally agreed to perform cross-talk with her.

Xiao Pingguo, as a cross-talk enthusiast, often thought about various cross-talk plots in her mind, sometimes even dreaming about performing cross-talk, with a bunch of minions as the audience, and even dreaming about Xiang Kun being her stooge.

Therefore, she quickly explained a sketch she had in mind to Little Fatty Girl, rehearsed it in front of Xia Libing, and then sent a video chat request to Yang Zhen’er.

When Tang Baona found out that Xiao Pingguo and Little Fatty Girl were going to broadcast a live cross-talk performance for them, she quickly called Xiang Kun from next door, and the three of them gathered around the phone, watching the two girls expectantly.

“Hello everyone, we are a cross-talk duo ‘Ling Dang Pingguo’, established 45 minutes ago.”

After Xiao Pingguo finished speaking, she lightly nudged Little Fatty Girl with her elbow.

Caught off guard, Little Fatty Girl quickly said, “I’m Xiao Ling Ang!~”

Simply watching Little Fatty Girl being a little flustered and nervous, with her two pudgy hands clutching each other, Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er were already unable to stop laughing. When they heard Little Fatty Girl mispronounce ‘ǎng’ due to nervousness, Tang Baona, with her low sense of humor, started tearing up from laughing so much.

Xiao Pingguo introduced herself as well, “I’m Xiao Pingguo. Hey, Xiao Lingdang, let me ask you a question. Do you know what the four most important skills for a cross-talk performer are?”

“I never heard of it.” Little Fatty Girl reflexively replied.

“That’s wrong! Didn’t I just tell you? What was it? Four words…”

Little Fatty Girl timidly said, “Eat, drink, play, joy…”

“No! It’s Talk, Learn, Tease, Sing! Xiao Lingdang, do you know what they stand for?”

“I never heard of it.”

“Let’s start with ‘learn’. Xiao Lingdang, I heard that you’ve been studying very hard in kindergarten lately and you’re really good at math. Even the teacher complimented you?”

“I never heard of it…”

“Wrong!” Xiao Pingguo gave a gentle nudge with her elbow.

“Isn’t it!” Little Fatty Girl hastily corrected herself.

During their usual video chats, Little Fatty Girl appeared very natural and uninhibited, but perhaps because of the “performance of cross-talk”, even though it was just a video chat with familiar faces like Uncle and Nana on the other side, Little Fatty Girl still couldn’t completely relax. But the appearance of her nervously trying to find the right words while also paying attention to the camera was adorably charming, it was hilarious no matter what she said. Coupled with Xiao Pingguo at the side seriously trying to adapt to a Tianjin accent, they even had Uncle Xiang laughing, leaving Tang Baona and Yang Zhen’er with uncontrolled fits of laughter.

Xiao Pingguo continued, “So Xiao Lingdang, you should be good at reciting multiplication tables, let me test you. What’s three times three?”

“I never heard of it.” Little Fatty Girl replied.

“What? Haven’t you learned ‘three’ yet? Let’s change it, what’s two times two?”

“Four.” Little Fatty Girl replied.

“What about four times four?” Xiao Pingguo asked.

“Sixteen.” Little Fatty Girl answered.

Xiao Pingguo: “See, didn’t you memorize up till ‘four’? So what’s three times three?”

“I never heard of it.”

“What’s three times three?”

“Nine.”

“Four times four?”

“I never heard of it.”

Tang Baona was rolling on the bed from laughter, and Yang Zhen’er was laughing so hard that she tried to tickle Baona’s waist. Xiang Kun was starting to worry. If the “Yin Bell Apple” duo continued to perform, he wasn’t sure if these two women could handle all that laughter.