You Boys Play Games Very Well

Chapter 19

The Three Kingdoms model in “Legend of the Galaxy” upgraded the confrontation between the two armies to the three-army melee, adding one alien invasion force. Unlike the Federation-Empire conflict, which was human infighting, all members of the alien faction were not human.

“My hope is the Empire and the Federation is passable.” While fetching the map, Ling Meng shook his legs out of habit. Triggering the hubris flag with his next words, “I don’t like to play with aliens. They eat too much lotus root.”

[System] The battle begins! Lead the alien army to victory!

Ling Meng: …

— Lemon Dad has to smile through his anger~

— Don’t you know you can’t say such things before a match?

— It doesn’t matter, Mang God is there to carry you!

Ling Meng didn’t like the aliens. In addition to being ugly, there was also the very important reason that the aliens were only very powerful in the latter half of the match, which resulted in combo targeting by the Federation and Empire forces in the early period. If you wanted to play the alien faction well, you had to deal with a rough start, which wasn’t consistent with Lemon Daddy’s usual style of playing aggressively from beginning to end.

However, Shan Zhu’s style was suitable for this faction, so the water friends in his broadcast room were very happy. After all, there weren’t many chances to see Mang God play the alien faction. At the same time, they also expressed concern for Lemon Dad’s aliens.

— Lemon Dad’s aliens, lighting a candle.

— Congratulations to the Federation empire for getting Lemon Daddy’s strong BUFF!

— It doesn’t matter, our Mang God is in good condition!

After scrolling around the map, Ling Meng first looked at his position, then located Shan Zhu’s area; he found that they were tragically divided into the far sides of the continent. For the time being, he couldn’t see the position of their opponents, but based on the topography, Shan Zhu was destined for more grim circumstances.

“The Federation or Empire must have someone very close to me,” Shan Zhu sent scouts to explore the map. “It’s not possible for us to share mining resources.”

“I should be safe here, surrounded by mountains.”

“Then you should give priority to mining, I think the fighting will start soon.”

“I don’t want to mine, I just want to wave,” Ling Meng pouted. “Didn’t you say you’re responsible for carrying me and I’m responsible for doing as I wish?”

“Go ahead, you can freely do as you please, but first upgrade the transmission technology.”

Ling Meng upgraded the technology tree, with priority assigned to the transmission portal. The portal began construction and Ling Meng drove the exploration ship to inspect the surrounding area.

“Wow, I have a selenium-rich mine here!”

“Excellent.”

Ling Meng cleared the nearby wild monsters, built his own mine station nearby, then built three mine cars to completely occupy the mining area.

“La la la, la la la, I’m a little mining expert ~”

Ling Meng proudly sang and continued to explore the map while singing. To his surprise, his reconnaissance found an asteroid belt in his territorial airspace. His random spawn point was rich in resources and had no enemies. It could be called a golden development zone.

After discovering this, Ling Meng happily dispatched five unmanned excavators and the resources at the top of the screen rose sharply.

— Didn’t you say you wanted to wave, not mine?

— The anchor’s mouth lacks integrity.

In order to compete for resources, Shan Zhu had to fully focus on fighting his neighbors. In contrast, there was no pressure on Ling Meng’s side and so he had time to interact with his water friends.

“When did I fall into the pit? Well, the national server had been open for about three months and I was then pulled into the pit by my classmates. Some of them had played since the public beta.”

He was using the in-game voice chat and Shan Zhu could hear it, so he asked: “You started sending hospice care that early?”

“How could that be? At first, I only played online matches with my classmates. They had entered the pit early so I couldn’t beat anyone. I couldn’t give hospice care to those people.”

He added another mining station: “Then one day I finally turned the tables and won a game. I lost dozens of sets but then suddenly won a game. Do you understand that kind of feeling? And in that match, the other side couldn’t hit back at all. When the game-over countdown was running, I happily typed a line, ‘Do you know how good Daddy is?””

“And then?”

“The classmates who were online with me lived in the next room, and they came over and beat me up.”

— Hahahahahaha

— 666666

— Lemon Dad’s mysterious origin story is revealed!

Shan Zhu recalled Ling Meng’s small body. He guessed that he was beaten up without fighting back. His brain filled in the entire scene at that time and he could hardly contain his laughter.

“Later, I figured that I could send it online and the netizens wouldn’t be able to reach me. But now I am top in our department, no, no one in our college can beat me. Now they can only dream of beating me, unless it is a real person PK.”

— No match for fighting real person PK; no one is a fighting match in Legend of the Galaxy.

— Is it okay to say Lemon Dad’s strength is more than the whole school?

“The whole school? Hehe…”

— That chuckle speaks volumes…

— Seems like there’s something he’s not telling us.

— or some unspeakable details.

“The portal is ready!” Ling Meng suddenly shouted.

— This way of changing the topic is very lame.

— Very deliberate.

— Very suspicious.

“I’m coming.” Shan Zhu sent the troops to Ling Meng’s territory to retain their strength, leaving only a small mobile unit, Ling Meng’s home base was quickly occupied by a large group of lizards.

“Why do you like lizards so much?”

“Do you prefer big bugs?”

The big bug Shan Zhu mentioned was one of the most disgusting infantry in the Galaxy game. Although the attack power was weak, the health was very large, and after being killed, the body will rot into pulp. Stepping on it would cause a bleed effect. It was therefore annoying to kill and also annoying not to kill.

Ling Meng thought of the disgusting bug and shook his head: “No, the lizard is better.”

[System]: Your allies are being attacked.

“Need support?” Hearing the system prompt, Ling Meng asked the question symbolically. In fact, he was looking for minerals and mining at this time and he didn’t actually want to join in the battle.

“No need, I can handle it on my own,” Shan Zhu’s focus spiked to a new level. If his camera had been on just then, the audience would have discovered that his expression didn’t quite match his words.

“It’s been a long time since we had a broadcast for the alien faction. Today, I’ll show you the combat capabilities of the basic alien units.”

The lizards at Ling Meng’s base were split in half the blink of an eye and teams of dozens of lizards snaked along the map on the other side of the continent. The target of the lizard assault was the base camp of the Empire’s AnchorB. Of the star diamond ranking broadcasters, he unfortunately was the breakthrough point for Mang God.

AnchorB’s powder had long been accustomed to opponents practicing food abuse on their anchor. That was the fun of watching his live streams, just listening to AnchorB’s continuous flow of words in the broadcast room, “I shot!” “I shot high, la!” “I’ll shoot again!” “Fuck, missed again!” “I don’t believe that I can’t shoot!” “Did the distinguished Mang God smear Indian god oil all over his body?!”

Everyone taunted 666, advising AnchorB: since it was Mang God who came, it was better to lie down flat in a corpse pose as soon as possible. Although he was nationally ranked in the top 30, this level of alien faction was enough to place in the top three.

AnchorA was a long way off, incapable of rescuing him, and could only anxiously scream out: “Did you back-up the base?! Hurry up, back-up the base!”

“There’s not enough time! He’s already beating me! Don’t, ah! It hurts, ah! Save me, ah!”

On one screen, Shan Zhu made that Imperial base shed blood like water; on the other screen, Ling Meng discovered that light mining wasn’t enough to satisfy his craving and put on Lin Hai’s “Happy”, shaking his head to the beat of the cheerful pipa rhythm. []

“I am submerged in a mine, I’m at a loss. Daddy will teach you~~ humble~~ development~~

” I am addicted to mining, I can’t extricate myself. There is dignity of work in mining and it’s not~~ fool~~ ish~~

“Mining in the east, ah, digging in the west, picking up a cartful of ore and happily~~ returning~~ home~~

“He kills by homicide, ah, I just want to dig the mine. When the mining cart is full, I will support~~ him~~ again~~”

His roommate also returned and started an Indian-style dance behind Ling Meng. These two people, one rocking in front, one shaking behind, were cooperating flawlessly.

— I seem to be following a fake game anchor.

— Welcome to the Fighting Cat Entertainment Channel.

— Unscrupulous anchor, mining live stream, swindling my money, wasting my time.

— The spirit behind him…how was it summoned?

The Federation homed in on the battle between the Mang God and the Empire and sent troops to raid his empty home base. When the Federation fleet arrived, they were unexpectedly wiped out by lizard troops that came from who knew where.

At first, people thought it was Lemon Dad’s support. Then, it was discovered that this was just the other half of the army Mang God had left at Lemon Dad’s base that had rushed back through the portal. Attacking and defending, it was amazing how Mang God could operate on two fronts.

— So handsome that people can’t keep their legs closed!

— I’m knocked senseless watching the screen cutaways. I’m afraid there’s a gap of 100 Lemon Dads between Mang God and me.

— It’s hard to imagine that Lemon Dad is still mining…mining…ore…

Most of the water friends in Ling Meng’s broadcast room were Mang God powder. In order not to miss the live stream on both sides, many people had two open windows, so they had the privilege of witnessing this unprecedented scene: one side devastatingly slaughtering, one side joyfully living it up, coordinated with a strange BGM – the audience was forced into schizophrenia.

— Unbelievable, the two anchors I follow, actually playing the same game [NothingToLove.jpg]

— No! Mang God and Lemon Dad have never played the same game!

— On The Disparity Between Boys and Non-Boys in Playing Games.

— Now do you realize how there is a dimensional wall between these two people? 𝘧r𝗲𝑒𝔀𝘦𝙗𝓃oν𝑒l.𝐜𝗼m

Shan Zhu leveled AnchorB and the intruder AnchorC, who came around, was beaten half to death. He took a look at Ling Meng’s territory and found that he was working the veins of a small portion of the map in the southwest, recklessly playing a strategy game as if it were a economic simulator.

“Your resources are overflowing, still want to fight? If you won’t fight, I’m going to bulldoze them.”

Poor AnchorC was still in his death throes, wait for his teammate to come to the rescue, but unfortunately Shan Zhu wasn’t going to give him a chance to make a comeback.

Ling Meng was loathe to part from his mine: “Wait a minute, wait until I finish digging this mine.”

“As long as you’re happy.”

AnchorD, who had been standing aloof from the world and quietly developing, discovered that Lemon had actually established a mine near his base.

AnchorD: …this is treating others with too much contempt.

AnchorD solved this with only one spy – the spy was a unique ground unit for the Federation, extremely frail but able to steal enemy buildings.

Because the Empire and the alien faction don’t have espionage corps, if they didn’t find the spies in advance, they could only watch their own buildings get stolen by the Federation, not able to be recovered but only destroyed.

However, this was the most grievous error AnchorD made in the whole match. When Ling Meng, who had mined thoughtlessly the whole time, discovered that his mine had been invaded, the blazing fury of Lemon Daddy burst forth.

“You can blow up my home base, but you can’t steal my mine!”

In a violent rage, Lemon Daddy dispatched an upgraded version of the queen ant, leading the alien army in a large-scale attack, and instantly leveled AnchorD’s home base. AnchorD was also a face cam anchor; he had no idea what was going on and his face showed an expression full of shame.

AnchorD: Who am I? Where is my home base? What did I do wrong?

After leveling the opponent, Ling Meng’s flames of fury were still burning. He commanded the troops to press north and the army left not a blade of grass untouched as they passed through the land. It reaped AnchorC’s remaining base health without any effort and marched toward the only survivor, AnchorA. The audience experienced Lemon Daddy’s bloodlust through the screen.

The Shan Zhu who had been active from beginning but now switched to getting soy sauce leisurely sat back to watch Ling Meng and commented: “Who said that Lemon’s play style wasn’t suitable for the alien faction, isn’t this good?”

— Yes, yes, you’re handsome, you both were right.

— Lemon Dad is really super fierce right now!

— A tragedy triggered by a vein.

— Are there any little comrades who have two windows open like me? Lemon Daddy’s broadcast room is still putting on the song of the peerless little bottom. He himself is running amuck murderously. The person in the back is doing the “Pen Pineapple Apple Pen” dance, I…

[System] After a fierce battle, the aliens achieved the final victory!

[Universe] [Aliens] Lemon: Under my BGM, no one can take Daddy’s mine!

[Universe] [Federation] AnchorD: Lemon Dad, I was wrong, you boys play games very well QAQ

—

Footnotes:

1. eat lotus root (吃藕): an internet slang meme meaning ugly from a typo on a forum

2. lighting a candle: jokingly offering up a prayer of remembrance, implies death/failure is about to occur

3. the mouth lacks integrity (口嫌体正直): saying meaning the mouth may lie but the body is honest freℯ𝓌e𝚋𝐧𝘰vℯl.𝐜𝚘𝗺

4. Indian god oil (印度神油): essential oil produced by a Chinese company that a man smears on his tool to decrease nerve sensitivity and last longer than usual

5. “Pleasures” by Lin Hai: used as background music for humorous clips (movies, shows)

6. humble development (猥琐发育): a saying from the game King of Glory, meaning to keep a cool head and not to challenge stronger enemies

7. dignity of work (劳动光荣): socialist concept introduced in Tommaso Campanella’s City of the Sun

8. seamless heavenly robes (天衣无缝): idiom from the story of the Weaver Goddess, metaphorically describes the flawless handling of something, usually a written work

9. [生无可恋.jpg]: a meme template for images that show “life is no longer meaningful”

10. getting soy sauce: to be a bystander/mind your own business/not be involved

11. Peerless Little Shou (绝世小受): a banned BL song from 2015, this line seems to be saying the Lemon chat are writing a cover of the song lyrics about Ling Meng (shou = bottom) —