Because I Cannot Hurt You

Caihong gritted her teeth and hit his chest hard though to Xiaosi, it felt as light as a feather.

"Who told you that you are like your father!? You are an idiot! You are a big idiot, Xiaosi! How can you even compare yourself to that man? Do you have any respect for yourself!?"

She grabbed his arms. "You didn't end up like him, Xiaosi. He was a bastard who abused your mother. You are a man who has always respected women. You vowed not to become like your father. That in itself distinguishes you from him! Xiaosi, how long are you going to blame yourself for the past? The one who was supposed to be the victim here doesn't! Even before knowing the whole truth at the reunion gathering night, I felt something must have gone wrong. The revelation just proved me right!"

Xiaosi quickly interrupted. "Y-you are only saying this because you are confused. There is no way I can be forgiven." 𝗳𝗿𝐞ℯ𝙬𝗲𝗯n𝗼νel.𝒄𝑜𝘮

She stared at him. "If that is so, then why did I sleep with you? I should be traumatized because of you. So why do you think I let you touch me that night? Why do you think that you don't deserve me?"

Xiaosi trembled and looked away. But she grabbed his head and forced him to face her. "Xiaosi, forget that night ever happened for once. Assume that it didn't. Would you still have never confessed to me?"

He stiffened. "H-How can I? You loved Zhiyuan. I can never think of putting you in a difficult position."

"But Grandpa made Zhiyuan marry Xinyi. I would have been helpless and alone. Then?"

Xiaosi blinked and didn't know what to respond.

"I mean surely, I would be heartbroken. But if the night hadn't happened, if Zhiyuan was going to be snatched away from me, then would you have never told your feelings?" She narrowed her eyes which made him avert his gaze.

"Look at me, Xiaosi," she warned. He quickly did as told but avoided to answer her question.

Caihong let out an exasperated sigh. "Grandpa was so right in everything. I was an idiot."

Xiaosi frowned. "He called you an idiot? He cannot."

"No! I feel like an idiot!"

He jolted and shut his mouth.

"Gosh, we have known each other since college days, but I feel like I really don't know you at all. How can you be…like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like treating me some Goddess!" She exhaled and let go of him. "Listen to me, Xiaosi."

Her gaze faced him straight. "I don't want to be your Goddess. I just want to be your wife."

Xiaosi trembled.

"I just want to live a happy life with my husband and child. I just want to spend my life like any other married couple. I have always wanted that. I don't want you to put me on some high place where you worship me. I want you to stand beside me like equals. Like a couple. I feel honored that you love me so much. But it makes me feel lonely too as if you are somewhere very far away from me. Chyou and I don't want that."

He panicked seeing her beautiful irises get wet tears. "D-don't cry, Caihong!"

"You are the one making me cry!" She burst into tears and accused him. "You are the one making Chyou sad! How could you decide to leave your family all by yourself? Did you ever once think about us? Forget about me. Did you even think about Chyou? Do you realize how much she loves you? Even more than me. You are her favorite among us because you have always been with her when I wasn't. Sometimes I feel jealous that she prefers to cling to you…" she sniffled.

Xiaosi looked left and right but didn't know how to console her. "No, no! Chyou loves you more than me! It's the truth. E-ever since your relationship has improved, she only wants to be with her mother. After all, you were distant for all these years…"

"Shut up! You don't know anything because you choose to be blind to others' love for you. Did you ever wonder how Chyou would feel not seeing her father one day? She just got her complete family. I wasn't there for her in these years, and when I decided to become a good mother, you want to break apart her family once again by snatching her father away from her. Zhu Xiaosi, whether you deserve to be in our lives is not something for you to decide! It's your wife and daughter's decision! And they don't want you to leave, so you won't leave or I will kill you!"

Caihong wiped her tears. "You have thought about us enough for now. You have always put us first before your own happiness. We don't want this anymore, and I know that you don't either. Tell me the truth. Do you really, really want to separate from Chyou and me?"

Xiaosi shook, and he lowered his gaze.

"You have to tell the truth and nothing else! If you lied then…then consider that I will die soon-"

"Caihong!" He pushed her back to the wall and covered her lips. "Don't talk about your death like that," his voice held a warning.

She shook off his hand. "It's because you don't leave me a choice. I am giving you the last chance, Xiaosi. If you are still stubborn over leaving me and Chyou, then I will kiss that man who flirted with me right in front of you!"

Xiaosi froze.

"If you find no problem watching me in another man's arms and passionately kissing him, then sure! Go ahead and leave us!" Her nostrils flared. "I am walking towards that man right now. It's your decision now!"

She pushed him and walked towards the dance floor in haste. She was almost there when a hand pulled her back as it caught her wrist.

Before she could furiously protest, Xiaosi grabbed her head and pressed his lips against her hard.