How To Raise Your Regressor

"Goddamnit. Not another shirt," Samur sighed exasperatedly.

How many white shirts had he ruined by now? At this rate, half of his salary would go in buying new white shirts.

Perhaps he should get some black, or maybe crimson shirts to use in missions which require him to bathe in blood.

"…"

'His shirt is what he's worried about?' Tristan stared at him dumbfoundedly.

What about the fact that he literally coughed out blood from overexerting himself?

"Anyway, she should be here soon…" Samur rubbed his chin.

According to his calculations, Neia, after sensing the casting of his mighty magic spell, should be making her way towards this hall right now; she would kick that door open in about 10 seconds.

That in itself was fine- he didn't have any right to judge other people's fetishes. The problem was that she would scream something like, 'Samur! *insert a random quote here*'.

That would raise Lecia's suspicion, and he couldn't have that.

What should he do then?

Teleport everyone out of here?

Or maybe stop time itself?

Nope. He was supposed to use only ice spears today.

So, the only option he was left with was to isolate Lecia with so many ice spears that she couldn't possibly hear anything they might talk about.

Or, you know, he could just wait for Neia outside the hall, but that would be the same as admitting defeat.

And his mamma didn't raise no defeatist.

Not to mention that he wasn't in any condition to walk right now, courtesy of his shit body's shit magic calculation area.

With that in mind, Samur conjured several thick ice spears with such a shape that they could interlock with each other.

"?!" Mr. Confused Kidnapper.

Using them, he created an 'igloo' around Lecia, the walls of which were 3 metres thick.

"?!?!?!?!" Mr. Even More Confused Kidnapper.

Just as he did that, Neia barged into the room and exclaimed, "Samur, are you alright!?"

"Glad to see that you are still the same," Samur smirked as he looked at the igloo.

Kind of a weird expression to use with someone he had talked to just minutes ago, but hey, to each their own.

"What? No, wait, what the hell is that?" She pointed to the huge ass igloo surrounding Lecia.

"A surprise apparatus that will be of great help."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Anyway, Lecia is inside that thing," he pointed to the igloo behind him.

"Why is she there!?" Neia exclaimed.

"Some things happened," Samur shrugged. "It'll melt after some time. When that happens, I want you to take Lecia and return."

"…And what about you?" Neia scowled.

"I still have some business left to finish," Samur smiled thinly.

That's when Neia remembered his promise that he'll finish this today.

"Will you be alright?" She asked worriedly.

"You think anything can happen to me?"

"There's still some blood there," Neia sighed as she touched the corner of her lips.

"That's just cranberry juice," Samur replied while wiping the blood off of his lips.

"And where did you even get cranberry juice, hmm?"

"I always keep some with me, in case I ever crave some. It's my favourite drink, you know."

"I thought your favourite drink was Chocolate Shakes?" Neia raised her eyebrows, all the while staring at him suspiciously.

"New day, new me."

"…Are you really going to be alright?"

"Oh, come on, I'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

"You'd blow up your arms again?"

"Jeez, what kind of manic barbarian do you take me to be? Why the fuck would I blow up my arms?"

"…" Neia scowled as she remembered the time when he managed to lose both of his arms during his first dungeon expedition.

"If I wanted to get rid of my arms, I'd simply cut them using a sharp sword, just like all normal people do."

"Normal people don't think about getting rid of their arms!"

"Sed."

There's nothing Samur could do about those Neanderthals.

"Haaa," Neia sighed. "So, I just have to take her home?"

"Yup," Samur nodded. "Oh, right now, Lecia's under the impression that the one who saved her, aka moi, is actually Azell."

"I wonder why she thinks that," Neia replied with a deadpan tone.

"That's a mystery none of us can ever hope to solve. Anyway, I just want you to play along with her."

"Why would I do that?" Neia asked confusedly.

"Because this is your assignment. Or test, if that's the term you prefer."

"Huh?"

"I've been teaching you about lying for quite some time. It's about time I tested you, no?"

"No, no, no, but why would you let Lecia believe that you are Azell?!"

"Why wouldn't I?" Samur furrowed his brows.

Anyone who knew the type of person Lecia was would do their very best to hide their identity from her.

That was like, the basics of Saving Lecia 101.

"Why would you!?" Neia exclaimed.

She simply couldn't wrap her head around why Samur would try to hide his identity here.

"I could tell you, but I think it'll be better to show you. As they say, show, not tell."

"I'm not looking for writing advice."

"Just watch closely, and you'll understand why exactly I don't want Lecia to know that I had a hand in saving her."

"The reason better be good, or I'll tell her the truth."

"Sure."

'Neia, you fool,' Samur smiled in his heart.

She had just fallen victim to his manipulations.

"I'll leave this room for some moments. Use that time to take Lecia away."

"What about that?" Neia pointed to the igloo in which Lecia was trapped.

"It'll melt 10 seconds after I leave the room. Oh, and there will be a smaller… igloo inside the bigger one. That's where the kidnapper is, so don't touch it."

"…What do you plan to do with the kidnapper?" Neia asked a bit apprehensively.

"Oh, you know, the classic stuff. I'll just heal his injuries, give him new clothes to wear and send him home with a postcard," Samur smiled.

"…"

"Anything else?"

"…No."

"Perfect," Samur made his way towards the exit of this hall (he had secretly healed himself enough to walk while talking to Neia). "And your time starts… now," with that, he left.

True to his words, the igloo around Lecia melted after 10 seconds, revealing the victim of this kidnapping. She was still bound to the chair and her eyes were still covered. f𝓇𝘦𝒆𝘄𝑒𝗯𝑛𝗼ѵ𝙚l.𝒄𝘰𝓶

There was a smaller igloo behind her, confining Tristan.

"…" Neia took a deep breath to prepare herself to lie, then walked towards Lecia. "Lecia."

"…Ms. Neia?" Lecia asked confusedly.

"Hold on a moment. I'll free you," Neia said as she took off Lecia's blindfold.

Next, she untied the ropes binding her to the chair, thus freeing Lecia.

"W-why are you here?" Lecia asked, still a bit confused.

Perhaps she was under the impression that Azell had come to save her alone.

What a dumbass.

"I'm here for you obviously," Neia smiled as she checked her body for any injuries. "Does it hurt anywhere?"

"N-no, it doesn't."

"Good," Neia heaved a sigh of relief. "But just to be sure, I'll conduct a full body checkup after we return home."

"…Home?" Lecia stared at Neia in stupefaction.

"Uh-huh. The New Dawn Guild is our home, remember?"

"Oh…" Lecia slowly nodded.

Then, as the meaning behind Neia's words truly dawned on her, her vision became slightly hazy.

"E-eh?" Lecia sputtered as tears fell down her face. "W-why…"

"It's alright," Neia embraced Lecia and patted her head.

"Hic," Lecia buried her face in Neia.

"It's alright," Neia repeated herself as hugged her even tighter.