I Should Have Just Died

He won’t be able to go back as the years have passed, but he wants Juliana to be happy for the rest of her life. Whenever he thought of Juliana, Seidrick’s eyes were filled with moisture in his sorry heart.

“... Your Excellency? It seems you have become very sentimental since you came to Belgium.”

Pauline held out her handkerchief to Seidrick and clicked his tongue.

“I’m sure it must have been because you have been ill with a serious illness. You will be well soon.”

At the doctor’s words, Pauline asked.

“Is that really possible? I’m worried that this will happen while he’s at work. For the business owner to be so soft...”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I was just thinking of Mother.”

Seidrick smirked and handed the handkerchief back to Pauline. Anyway, what a fuss.

Juliana, next Ophelia.

Ophelia was already weak-hearted.

Because he was ill, he couldn’t do anything right when Ophelia got married. She had to grow up early, and even if Ophelia said it was all right, Seidrick felt more uncomfortable with it.

Besides, Ophelia had just been married and he left for Belgium.

He was sorry that Ophelia shed tears before she was immersed in happy sweet dreams.

And Alyssa.

“What are you thinking this time... Ah, I know! You’re thinking of the Duchess?”

“She won’t be just a Duchess anymore.”

“Are you thinking of the king? When you think of the king, your eyes go down like this.”

“Hey, you’re so interested in me.”

“...because you are surprisingly weak.”

Pauline grunted and stuck her head with the papers. In fact, Pauline had hoped to stay a little longer in Belgium.

There are things she wants to learn to work and learn about Belgium.

Seidrick said that if she came on the next boat, that would be fine. However, if she did, she had to spend a month on the ship because she had to board a regular boat, and Pauline gave up her wish.

Seidrick clicked his tongue frequently.

His eyes droop down when he thinks of Alyssa.

Is it a conditional reflex?

Thinking of Alyssa, he used to be sad. She kept her promise to Seidrick. Of course, since she chose the path to become a king, she wouldn’t have left the way she wanted. Anyway, Alyssa was waiting for Seidrick in the same place.

Alyssa, sincere and kind, would not have been able to meet Seidrick during business hours. He wasn’t upset. He loved Alyssa’s upright and straight disposition.

He just doesn’t know what to say when he meets Alyssa.

‘Hello. I’m back.’

This is so tacky.

‘My wife, how have you been!’

Hooo. It’s not a theater play; what are you doing, Seidrick.

“Alyssa, how have you been?”

Isn’t it too stiff?

“What’s wrong with you this time?”

Pauline asked as if he was weird.

It was for Seidrick, who was in anguish with his head wrapped around. The Duchy doctor was also looking at Seidrick.

“No way, do you have a headache...!”

“No. It’s not like that.”

“Then? Why are you doing this?! It felt like my heart was dropping so much!”

Seidrick laughed awkwardly.

“What should I say to Alyssa?”

“What...?”

Pauline asked stupidly.

“To Alyssa. I want to say hello to her more sophisticated and pleasantly, but I don’t know what to say.”

Seidrick seriously said as if he was facing the trouble of a lifetime.

“Do as you normally do, as usual! Because that’s the most natural and the best. Why are you worrying about that?”

“...Well. It’s because I want to look good to Alyssa.”

“You are still newlyweds.”

Newlyweds....

Have they ever truly enjoyed their newlywed days? Seidrick and Alyssa were more like strangers than newlyweds.

Seidrick smiled with a dark complexion. Of course, it was Seidrick’s fault. If he had told Alyssa everything from the beginning, things wouldn’t have turned out this way.

Seidrick sighed.

Of course.

Seidrick suppressed his fluttering heart with the palm of his hand.

***

Alyssa got out of the carriage with a nervous look on her face. Alyssa, who pressed down on her hood, ran quickly. The handmaids followed behind her.

She still hasn’t decided what words she should use to greet Seidrick even though she thought about it all the time in the carriage.

Alyssa gasped and made her way to the drop-off point. Juliana, who had already arrived, looked at Alyssa in amazement.

“Alyssa?”

“Mother. I came because I couldn’t stay still.”

“Welcome.”

Juliana pulled Alyssa and put her next to her.

Boooowwaaaaanng-

The roar of the express ship can be heard from here as well. Alyssa’s heart raced.