I Should Have Just Died

In the distance, a figure dressed in a neat suit began to appear.

Alyssa’s heart beat faster as the dotted image drew closer. However, the person who got closer wasn’t Seidrick.

One, two, three people.

Alyssa’s expectations and disappointments repeated as the people who got on the express ship disembarked, and a sigh escaped from her shallowly parted lips. Alyssa groaned and rubbed her forehead.

Has she ever waited so long for someone?

Alyssa was doing things she had never done before because of Seidrick. Also, she was feeling emotions that he had never felt before. Juliana wrapped her arms around Alyssa’s shoulders.

“Why are you shaking so much?”

“...... Mother. I don’t know. I feel like my heart will explode. This is my first time... ”

“Oh gosh.”

Juliana let out a small laugh.

“Is Mother okay?”

“For me... it’s always been a series of waiting. Seidrick has been living on a ship since he grew up. I didn’t like it so much, but Kendrick defended him. He has to learn about the wide world to become a big person. Well, thanks to that, there is no language that Seidrick can’t speak. I think he did it all in Belgium too?”

“Ah... ”

She had never heard of such a story. She knew Seidrick rode the ship frequently but hadn’t heard the details. Juliana continued to open her mouth to appease the boredom of waiting time.

“Kendrick turned inside while Seidrick turned outside. The fame of a war hero doesn’t just come, does it? Actually, I was more worried about Kendrick than about Seidrick. He brushed with death.”

Alyssa nodded her head with tears in her eyes.

It was because she remembered the previous king who casually killed the hero who crossed paths with death. It was a disgraceful task because of only jealousy and inferiority.

“So I am used to waiting. But, even if you’re used to it.......”

Juliana took Alyssa’s hand.

“It is true that I am not very happy. Oh, there’s Pauline.”

Juliana motioned to the express ship. Alyssa’s gaze quickly turned.

“Seidrick.........”

Seidrick was visible behind Pauline. Hearing Pauline’s nagging as if he seemed to have made a mistake. Seidrick was staring at Pauline in annoyance.

And then.

“Seidrick!”

Alyssa called him out loud.

Without realizing it, her voice came out. Alyssa ran past Ophelia, who was at the front. It was the first time she had run with such a desperate heart. Neither Ophelia nor the harbor staff stopped her.

Seidrick, who had his eyes wide open, spread his arms out.

Alyssa jumped into his arms.

“Alyssa...!”

“Huu......How—how have you been? You’re not sick anymore, right?”

At that time. She was as blunt as possible.

At that time, she couldn’t look back at him, reminding herself that she would no longer love Seidrick, and that she would forsake him. But, when Seidrick left, Alyssa remained. Even if Alyssa turned a blind eye, the gaze that had been persistently following her disappeared.

It was empty.

She wanted to see Seidrick.

She missed his constant affection for her.

And...... she missed Seidrick.

Alyssa just realized. She couldn’t end her hatred for Seidrick. Rather, she had to realize love once again by seeing herself trying to justify and understand his actions. Alyssa Was in love with Seidrick.

So she was so sorry.

Because she didn’t know any of her feelings, and it seemed that it made her steps to leave even heavier.

All that remained in Alyssa’s mind was that she would wait for him.

The past of being unable to hug him, who swallowed his medicine and endured the pain, kept treading on her eyes.

Alyssa hugged Seidrick tightly.

Although Seidrick didn’t fully fit into her small, thin arms, Alyssa did her best. Seidrick, still in shock, slowly raised his hand and embraced Alyssa. He’s never touched her in this way.

Alyssa didn’t seem to be aware of it, but Seidrick felt her body temperature fully for the first time.

She was voluntarily giving her body temperature to Seidrick.

Seidrick hugged Alyssa and bowed his back.

A faint scent he had smelled once penetrated his nose. It wasn’t the smell of his old hometown that filled his lungs but the scent of Alyssa. Seidrick sniffed.

As Pauline said, it felt like he was going to cry to see if it was true that she had changed emotionally.

It felt like his heart would explode.