I Should Have Just Died

After the actual downfall of the royal family became certain, Dania began interacting with her parents. However, it was not difficult for her to reconnect as she cut off contact with them for a while in such a way for the royal family to turn a blind eye anyway.

Perhaps the air was exceptionally fresh and clear today because of the heavy rain yesterday.

The gardens were still dry, but Countess Gerald had a small table for Dania and set it on the balcony. Warm sunlight swept across the garden and filled the balcony.

Countess Geral opened her mouth until it was time for her to tip the teacup, where she had waited silently until Dania had finished her meal.

“You have a bad face.”

She is the daughter she hasn’t seen in a long time.

It was even more difficult to see after Dania got a private room in her royal palace and began to assist the king. She is a precious daughter, and yet she seems to have a shade on her face. It was only then that Dania smiled as if she knew her desperate heart.

“Don’t worry, mother. It’s true that I have concerns, but it’s not my job.”

“Seeing that you are taking care of other people’s troubles, there seems to be something wrong with the king.”

Dania swallowed a sigh and nodded her head.

“Yes, mother.”

Dania rolled her eyes down.

“I … I’m worried about her.”

It was a small voice, like a whisper.

“She’s never had the life she wanted. It’s always been for someone else’s sake or because of someone else. But it was the first decision she made. After five years, she wouldn’t want to live as a king. She said she wanted to live her own life.”

Dania wet her burning throat with tea. Alyssa was an excellent and self-sacrificing person. She’s been like that all her life, so she can’t change all at once. She seemed to have been swept away by the world as it is now, and she would remain there just as she was forced to ascend to the throne.

She thought five years was a short time, but she didn’t want Alyssa to live her life in a position she didn’t want to live in.

“But ….Things don’t always turn out like that. People implicitly assume that she will be king for the rest of her life. It’s definitely something she promised all the nobles, including the temple. But once you go into the meeting, people talk to Alyssa about the future with a completely forgotten face.”

“What do you think the king thinks?”

“Alyssa…”

Dania thought of Alyssa. People don’t hide their hopes for Alyssa. Even though she assumed the position, she was suffocated by that expectation…

‘Still, it’s worth living these days. It’s doable.

‘It’s not bad.’

‘I think my will is important. It’s still too early. There are a lot of problems in the country. I think I’ll feel more comfortable when I finish all of this.’

She was terribly good.

Dania mumbled her words harshly, not like a noble lady. It is sad that Alyssa has taken on the faults of her predecessors herself and is trying to solve them. What is it that keeps her from getting out of her bondage?

“She’s just saying it’s okay. So I’m more worried. She’s happy now……. I’m afraid she’ll lose even that happiness, mother.”

“The king is… a strong person, Dania.”

Countess Gerald smiled faintly.

“Even after enduring all the hardships, she ascended to the throne by her own choice. Even though there was pressure from people, did the king really come to the place by being pushed by it?”

Dania thought carefully.

Revolutionary corps, temples, and knights.

There was external pressure, but Alyssa didn’t budge. She obviously did. Rather, it was her own sense of debt that moved Alyssa.

“Is it…… Is it different? Other people also caused the feeling of debt and guilt that remained in Alyssa’s heart.”

“It’s up to you to think. If she only resents and avoids it, she will lose that feeling. If she accepts it and tries to relieve the debt, she will win, and the king has chosen the path to win.”

Path to win.

“If the king doesn’t want to, she won’t go down that road. Doesn’t the king already know how to overcome those feelings? Whatever path she chooses, she will find happiness in it. Didn’t I say she was strong?”

Have more faith in the person you serve.

Dania thought for a long time.

Then she remembered Alyssa’s smiling face. She’s been looking tired since she took the throne, but did she look tough?

‘It’s worth living…… ’

Dania chewed the same words and shook her head.

“Yes. I think Mother was right.”

Dania’s heart became lighter.

***