Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

There was a dancing girl at the door again.

This time, it was a woman with fair skin. She had long red hair and plain features, but her breasts were about the same size as Rana's. Her legs were neither thin nor fat.

She gives off an air of normalcy, the kind that gives rise to a feeling of approachability.

Even though I've never seen her before, I feel no tension nor a sense of distance. It's like we've been friends for decades.

Even though gods are generally not very approachable………

Hmm? Why did I peg her as a god?

「Souya-sama, I'm sorry, is my elder sister intruding on you?」

「Could it be that you’re Meltouvius-sama?」

She's the god of an allied merchant company.

「Ara~ You can tell?」

「Yes, for some reason」

I just had a feeling.

Or rather, it’s because this is the second time.

「I've thought this for a while now, but you and I are a "good match", don't you think? Do you also have this feeling that we're destined to be together?」

「Eh, yes」

It doesn't feel bad to hear a god say that to me.

After all, back in the day, every god in the city refused to contract with me.

「So, what do you think? How about you contract with me as well? It's not often that someone gets to contract with two of the Minerva sister gods. It's an honor that all the riches and treasures in the world can't buy. And if you agree to it right now, I'll even include a special offer that cannot be disclosed to my elder sister」

We Japanese are very susceptible to the words "special offer".

「Can you tell me more about that special offer?」

「Fufu, let's go somewhere quiet, just the two of us, and then――――――」

There was a strange glint in Meltouvius-sama's eyes, then……

「Ahhnnn!」

……she let out a lovely moan when Misuranika-sama appeared from below her and squeezed her breasts.

「Souya, for future reference, let me teach you something. If you bring a woman like this to your bed, she'll wring you out until you're all dried up. So beware」

「G, got it」

So that's what the special offer entails………

That only makes me even more interested.

「Ah, ahnnn! I, I don't know who you are, but I really did come here to retrieve my elder sister!」

「I'll take care of this one. Well, why don't you make her something to eat?」

「Understood」

For the newly arrived god, I went back into the kitchen.

It would be boring to serve ramen again. Now that the number of people has increased, I suppose nabe would be good.

I added dried shiitake mushrooms from the alternate world into the vegetable broth meant for ramen to make the stock for the nabe. Taking some slightly shriveled cabbage, I sandwiched some pork belly between them and filled the pot with them. It was simple, but I covered it with a lid and put it on the fire.

I glanced over at the gods and saw that they were chatting and laughing among themselves.

It makes me smile to see the gods getting along with each other.

But, well, the all-female lineup is simply magnificent.

I want to join them. I want to be sandwiched between them.

As I waited for the nabe to heat up……

「Souya, there's another visitor」

「Alright~」

There was another knock at the door.

I opened it again and found a male elf standing there. He was wearing the same white robe that Rana used to wear. He was an elf, so he was as good-looking as one would expect elves to be, but somehow, he seemed to be just an alright-looking elf.

To put it bluntly, he was quite the unremarkable elf.

「Hey there, Husband-dono」

「Could it be that you're Ezusu-sama?」

「That’s right」

It was my wife's god.

「I noticed gods gathering around you, Husband-dono, so I thought I'd join in. I've brought you some gifts」

He handed me the basket he was carrying on his back.

There were many wild vegetables and mushrooms inside.

「Thank you so much for these. Please come in, the food will be ready soon」

「No, it's no problem. Excuse me for intruding」

I led Ezusu-sama to the kotatsu that was crowded with goddesses.

「Hey~, you elf~. Pour me a drinkk~」

「Hi there, elf. I believe you're the protector of the forest's bedchambers. What kind of lovemaking techniques do the elves use in the forest? I'm very curious」

Is everything going to be alright, I wonder. Particularly with the Minerva sisters……

Leaving that aside, I went to check on the nabe.

Since Ezusu-sama had gone out of his way to give them as a gift, I added the mushrooms and wild vegetables into the nabe.

「Good sir, how about these?」

「Oh, tomatoes, huh? That's a good idea, Lars. Let's add some cheese as well」

The golem that had been sleeping in its flowerpot handed me some magnificent-looking tomatoes. There were six of them, each one bigger than my fist.

Did we have such tomatoes growing in our basement garden? Hmm? Wait, rather than that………

「Is something the matter?」

「You……you're talking normally……」

Lars had talked normally. Upon closer inspection, it looked different than usual. There was a big sprout growing on top of its head. It looked almost like a samurai's chonmage.

「Could it be that you’re Ukazor-sama?」

He's a god who contracted with some of my party members.

Apparently, he was originally a Japanese samurai.

「Yeah, that's right. I smelled a very nostalgic aroma, you see? Mind if I join in and have some?」

「You’re welcome to, of course」

「Much obliged」

Did I summon him with miso and soy sauce?

Ukazor-sama, in the body of Lars, pottered over to the kotatsu.

Ezusu-sama was being mobbed by the Minerva sisters.

I'm not going to go too deep into it because it might turn into a religious war. I didn't see anything.

I added the tomatoes and cheese into the nabe and watched over it.

「Souya, you got a minute?」

「Yes, do you need more snacks?」

Okaa-sama had come to the kitchen.

「I wanted to try something that Ea had mentioned before. It's called udon, I believe. If it's not too much trouble, can you make some?」

「Udon, huh………」

It's not like I can't, but I'm busy watching over the nabe at the moment.

「I'll teach you how to make it. Then you can make it yourself」

「Ooh. That sounds good」

Misuranika-sama also came over and made a suggestion, which Okaa-sama accepted readily.

My god, when did you learn how to make udon? You always seemed to be sleeping, but have you actually been observing closely when we cooked?

Misuranika-sama took out some flour, water, salt, and a rolling pin, then mixed them together swiftly on the countertop.

My god is a god who gets things done when she puts her mind to it. She sleeps all the time when she doesn't though. In other words, it should be safe to leave that to her.

When the nabe came to a boil, I took it off the fire and added some miso. I adjusted its taste until it had the right level of saltiness, and then added a pinch more.

The nabe was completed.

I grabbed the pot and brought it to the kotatsu. I laid out serving plates, spoons, and forks on top of the kotatsu and it was ready to be eaten.

「It's hodgepodge nabe of the alternate world. Please feel free to eat it as you like」

「Ohhh, so this is the dish my children made using the thing called miso」

Ezusu-sama cheered.

「Nabe with miso, huh? How I've missed this」

Ukazor-sama spoke in a solemn voice. Since his body was a golem, I couldn't really read his expression.

Actually, can he even eat with that body?

「Another meager dishh~? Souya, why are most of the dishes you cook so humblee~?」

「Now now, Onee-sama. If you have a problem with it, you don't have to eat it」

Leaving the plastered Gravius-sama to her own devices, Meltouvius-sama portioned out and served the nabe to the other gods.

This god is the type who takes initiative at drinking parties. She's the capable type.

「Husband-dono, Husband-dono, come sit next to me」

「Eh? What is it?」

I was called over by Ezusu-sama, so I took a seat at the kotatsu.

「So, how are things? How's Rauaryuna? She's a late-bloomer and lacking in self-confidence on top of it, so there weren't any men in the forest who were interested in her. She may be an ugly woman to the elves, who are blind to her charms, but in the eyes of Hemu, she's beautiful enough, am I right?」

「Even if you ask me that, I can only say that things are going well……」

Are you a close uncle or something?

「"Going well", huh? I'm glad to hear that. You look like you might be a late-bloomer too, Husband-dono, so I thought you might not be ready yet. No matter what happens in the future, it would be a pity for a woman to have nothing to look forward to」

This topic is kinda troubling for me.

「Elff~, I'm out of boozee~!」

「Hahahaha, you should take it easy or it will harm your reputation」

Ezusu-sama filled Gravius-sama's cup for her again.

I'm really sorry for the actions of the god I'm contracted with, Ezusu-sama.

「Here, Souya-sama, you should have some too」

Meltouvius-sama handed me a serving plate with a portion of the nabe.

In a different way, I feel bad.

「Alright, here you go, little dwarf god from the sticks」

「Mmm, thanks, servant lady」

For a split second, I thought I felt a surge of killing intent. Meltouvius-sama also handed Ulazor-sama a plate. With that, everyone had been served.

There were still some ingredients left in the nabe, but for now………

『Itadakimasu』

Ukazor-sama and I put our palms together and got ready to dig into the nabe.

『………………』

My chopsticks stopped when I noticed the indebted sisters and the elven bedchamber protector staring at us.

Ukazor-sama ignored them and ate with gusto.

「Husband-dono, to which god did you offer that prayer?」

「Huh?」

「Obviously, it's to me rightt~?」

Gravius-sama snuggled up against me.

She's being a nuisance. Also, she reeks of alcohol.

「Souya-sama, could it be that it was to me?」

「No, you’re wrong」

Meltouvius-sama, don't you have almost nothing to do with me?

Unable to bear it any longer, Ukazor-sama stopped eating for the moment and spoke to the other gods.

「That was not a prayer. It's an expression of gratitude. Gratitude for all the animals and plants that have given us their flesh and blood, for those who procured them, for those who raised them, for those who cooked them, and for those who served them to us. It's a way of saying thanks for everything that went into bringing the food to our mouths. Even if we can feign to be gods, we can't do everything that's involved ourselves. That is why we must always live with humility and gratitude」

『Hmmm~』

The gods of the alternate world exclaimed………

『What a strange way of thinking』

………and said that in unison.

「I knew it………」

With a resigned sigh, Ukazor-sama went back to gulping down the nabe.

While eating the nabe, Ezusu-sama turned to Ukazor-sama.

「Little god, that's weird. If you're going to give thanks, you should give it to the original god」

「But if I did that, I would fail to show appreciation for the labor of those beneath us, isn’t it?」

「People do not make progress by looking at the worms crawling on the ground. It’s only by looking upwards that civilizations advance and prosper」

「So, are you experiencing any of that prosperity you speak of today, long-eared one?」

The conversation was turning toward a bit of a dicey subject.

「Prosperity and decline are as the waxing and waning of the moon. My race shall flourish once more」

「It's because of their hubris that the elves are in decline. All those who live eventually die and all those who prosper eventually fall into decline, but those who cannot let go of their foolishness will never prosper again」

「Little god………are you calling my race foolish?」

The atmosphere was getting worse.

By the way, even though the mood was so tense, neither of them slowed the speed at which they ate. They were gobbling up the nabe.

Are you guys even tasting it? I want to hear your impressions of it though.

「Come come~ Elves can be like that sometimes~ Right?」

Meltouvius-sama intervened and tried to be a peacemaker.

That’s a great help. She's the type who's indispensable at banquets.

「Don't get too carried away, you indebted goddess」

But Ezuzu-sama responded completely out of character.

「How many years and human sacrifices did it take to pay off the debt you left behind? Don't think that you can act all familiar with me just because you're acting subserviently, you former servant girl」

Please calm down! Please return to being a congenial elf!

But Meltouvius-sama won’t be bothered by such words………

「………………Hey, what did you just call me? Indebted goddess? Former servant girl?」

………It seems that she's really bothered by them.

「In the first place, "protector of the bedchamber" sounds nice, but aren't you just watching over the mating of long-ears in heat, you voyeur god?」

「………………Hmm」

「Fufufu」

This is the worst.

「Good grief」

Said Ukazor-sama, acting like it had nothing to do with him.

「ZZZ, ZZ」

Gravius-sama had fallen asleep with her upper body across my lap. Because of that, I couldn't escape.

Amid the tense air, Meltouvius-sama and Ezusu-sama started eating the nabe like they were competing with each other. With Ukazor-sama in the mix, the ingredients in the nabe were disappearing at light speed.

My share also got snatched away by Meltouvius-sama.

『………………』

This is bad

The moment the ingredients run out, the religious war is going to resume.

「Souya, the udon is done」

「Okaa-sama!」

You're the best!

The udon to wrap up the meal came at the perfect time.

「Ohh, so this is the "udon" that Ea talked about」

In a lucky turn of events, Ezusu-sama's interest shifted to the udon. My sister's habit of bragging had saved the day.

「Udon, huh? I've missed this too」

Ukazor-sama's interest was also piqued.

「………………」

Meltouvius-sama still looked peeved.

She's the type whose anger takes a while to subside once she has lost her temper, I see.

「I'm supposed to add it to the nabe, right?」

Okaa-sama dropped the freshly boiled udon into the remaining stock in the pot.

「Misuranika, I've added it」

「Umu」

Misuranika-sama brought over a steaming-hot pot. She then cracked six raw eggs into the stock that filled the pot, stirred them in, added soy sauce, and then taste-tasted it.

「Mm-hmm, that should do it」

A collaboration between the god of misdeeds and the god of martial arts. The udon to wrap up the meal was completed.

The expressions on the faces of the gods who were at each others' throats softened.

「Ah, where am I? Where is this place? What was I doing? Hey, Souya, you're being awfully familiar with me. You should know better than cling so closely to gods like this」

Gravius-sama woke up too.

The delicious aroma was making me hungry.

I didn't get to eat any of the nabe, so at the very least――――――

Another visitor, or rather, god?

「Please start without me」

Leaving the gods to eat the udon, I got out of the kotatsu.

「I’m coming~ Who is it?」

I opened the door.

There was a young girl whom I didn't recognize standing there. She had a tattered piece of cloth pulled over her head, so I couldn't see her face. The skin on her exposed arms and legs was as pale as that of drowned corpses. When I tried to look directly at her, my vision blurred and the outline of her figure grew indistinct.

Who is this?

「Excuse me, umm………」

I have no clue whatsoever who she is.

From her pale lips………

My………

Name was………

When I came to………

………I found myself lying beside the kotatsu with my head resting on Misuranika-sama's lap.

It seems that I had fallen asleep.

「Huh, what happened to the other gods?」

「They've gone home. Those guys………every single one of them fished around for souvenirs unreservedly before they went」

The sprout on top of Lar's head was gone and it was back in its usual spot in the corner of the room.

From the kotatsu, I could faintly smell the scents the various gods had left behind. 𝐟re𝐞w𝐞𝒃𝓃𝒐𝐯𝚎𝒍.c૦𝚖

The plates and pots had been neatly put away.

Did someone wash up and put them back in place?

「Misuranika-sama, what time is it now?」

「It'll be noon soon」

「Huh?」

It's not yet noon? I feel like I've spent quite a long time with the gods though.

「But well, you’re a man who's surrounded by strange gods, aren't you?」

「That………」

「Hmm?」

「No, it's nothing.」

I almost slipped up and said, “That includes you.”

「Who'd have thought that the guy who was standing in the streets at night with the Horns girl, completely at his wit’s end, would attract such a lively bunch of gods?」

「That's true, but the first to pick me up was you」

I reached out and touched Misuranika-sama's cheek.

She then lowered her head and brought her lips close to mine.

No, this wasn't what I had in mind, and I don't particularly hate it either, but I never even thought of having such a relationship with my god.

「Do you really think that I was the first?」

The lips I was looking forward to slipped by and whispered that into my ear. 𝗳𝘳𝐞e𝙬𝙚𝚋𝗻𝚘𝚟𝗲l.𝑐𝑜ｍ

「What do you mean by that?」

「You'll find out. In time, eventually」

Her lips pulled back, but she made no move to separate herself from me. I turned, burying my face in her thighs and wrapping my hands around her narrow waist.

I felt an irresistible urge to be spoiled by her.

「You may be too good of a follower for me」

「You're kidding, right?」

「I’m kidding」

She stroked my hair, and even though I had just woken up, I almost fell back into slumber right away.

I want to have a dream from which I never awaken.

When I closed my eyes, a dim memory came back to me in the darkness.

The noisy howling of the wind. The empty perpetual darkness. A vast space, wriggling―――――――

In wait for the day when I remember it all again.

I don’t need to tell you about how big of a deal the end of this chapter is, do I? See how the sneaky author lulled you with the ridiculously long and, while fun, largely inconsequential chapter only to drop a humongous nuclear bomb at the end? This is the biggest hint to one of the biggest mysteries that the author is going to give. Even if you can’t figure it out right away, you should at least have a suspicion now that something is very wrong with a certain very important part of the story. And that’s unfortunately all I can say without going into spoiler territory……

And that’s it for this volume! Thanks for hanging out with me so far! Next time, it’s going to be a serious volume with much laughter and tears, so stay tuned!!!

And in case anyone wants the ebooks for offline reading, this is just a gentle reminder that I do make them for my patrons. So if you're interested, I would really appreciate it if you would consider supporting me. Every little bit means a lot to me. Thank you in advance!