Incurable Pain

Incurable Pain | Chapter 21.2

Throughout her entire sophomore year, she reminded everyone at all times— that Bai Xunyin was mute.

But why bother?

She didn’t need to say it, she knew it herself.

Bai Xunyin smiled indifferently, used a tissue to pick up the core and threw it away, then lowered her head to continue studying, acting as if she didn’t care much.

However, from then on, she had a certain aversion to Christmas celebrations at school.

And a month ago, on that Christmas day, there was still no vacation, and the whole class was cheerfully exchanging apples once again.

The difference was that there was a pile of them on her desk this time.

“Don’t know which kind of apple you like.”

While the noisy classroom paid no attention to them, Yu Luoyin leaned over from his desk behind hers, whispering in Bai Xunyin’s ear, “So I got them all—do you like Ping’an apples?”

He had bought apples of all kinds and types.

Bai Xunyin withdrew her stunned gaze, slightly turned her head, and saw the handsome boy’s dreamy and charming appearance. He was gently curved his eyes as he looked at her.

Back then, Bai Xunyin almost felt like Yu Luoyin’s eyes had stars in them.

How could there be… such a deceiving boy?

And the deceiver at that moment looked at her as if he were still quite sad and asked, “Why didn’t you prepare an apple for me? I went through so much trouble to get you these.”

Little did Yu Luoyin know, Christmas was a bad memory for Bai Xunyin.

He also didn’t know that starting from that Christmas that she had with him, she suddenly felt that this holiday was worth celebrating again.

Unfortunately…

Unfortunately, a deceiver will always be a deceiver. How could he ever become real?

Bai Xunyin snapped out of her memories, her clear eyes slightly dry and reddened.

She stood up, her legs a bit numb from sitting for a long time. She almost stumbled, but managed to steady herself by holding onto the nearby desk—her fingertips happened to touch something smooth and plastic-like.

She looked to the side and saw the colorful packaging of those Ping’an apples from Christmas. Apples can’t be preserved for so long, but she couldn’t bear to throw away the packaging.

It’s all a joke.

These things she cherished so dearly might have just been ‘playthings’ in Yu Luoyin’s eyes.

Yu Luoyin might be the most ruthless executioner in this world, too skilled in making a girl feel hopeless.

Bai Xunyin chuckled lightly, using her hand to sweep all these things into the trash.

On New Year’s Eve, Bai Xunyin was at home.

Throughout her entire holiday, she turned down invitations from everyone, including Ah Mo, and stayed at home all the time, in her room… healing.

On the eve of the Lunar New Year, she helped Ji Huiying prepare some dishes and put up couplets and auspicious characters in the quiet house to barely create a hint of a “New Year” atmosphere.

“Yinyin, I feel like you’ve been through a lot recently. Is the pressure of your studies too much?”

During dinner, Ji Huiying looked at Bai Xunyin’s pale face with some concern. She felt that since the vacation started, her daughter not only did not enjoy a proper break, but also seemed more exhausted.

Bai Xunyin smiled, shook her head at Ji Huiying, and then pointed to where the medicine box was in the living room—indicating that she was just feeling a bit under the weather.

And she had already taken her medicine.

When many “truths” are uncovered, they often feel bitterness transmitted into their hearts.

But why does it matter? The thoughts of the youth were often erratic and capricious, and nobody cared.

Heartache isn’t a disease that can be treated in a hospital. At most, it’s just… a bit of pain.

To the outside world, it seemed insignificant.

They say that it takes twenty-one days to process the pain and polish it into becoming a habit, but it took only three days for Bai Xunyin to adapt.

She got used to the feeling of returning from false brightness to true obscurity, used to the pain of losing someone she never really had.

Not only did she get used to it, but she also learned to ‘utilize’ it. After all, suffering can make a person more sensible, can make them grow faster than comfort ever could.

Bai Xunyin thought, a slightly strange smile unconsciously appeared on her lips.

“Don’t forget to take the medicine again tonight.” Ji Huiying sighed, eating her meal. She was already a middle-aged woman, even though she still looked young—

“Go ahead, finish your meal, and then we’ll go to the hospital together to see your father.”

It was New Year’s Eve, the day of family reunions for the entire nation– so the three of them should also be ‘reuniting’.

Nurses in hospitals were on duty regardless of whether it’s Mid-Autumn Festival or New Year’s Eve, because ‘accidents’ can happen at any time, irrespective of holidays.

The angels in white had long since become emotionally detached from any holiday. Seeing people coming to visit patients on New Year’s Eve was not surprising. They mechanically registered them and allowed them in.

Inside the hospital, the air conditioning was on from all directions, maintaining a comfortable temperature year-round—unlike the cold dampness outside. But when Bai Xunyin walked into Bai Hongsheng’s ward, she suddenly felt cold.

Almost as if every pore opened up and absorbed the coldness from the air, surging in like a wave.

She looked at her father, lying on the hospital bed, surviving on nutritional fluids alone, his once robust and healthy appearance now pale and emaciated. Her eyes reddened instantly, but she bit her lip tightly to prevent the tears from falling.

“A girl’s tears are like golden beans; they shouldn’t be shed lightly.”

Bai Xunyin, through her misty eyes, unintentionally recalled her father’s image from her childhood. When he was tall and healthy, he used to pick her up and hold her on his knee when she fell, coaxing her with a warm and gentle smile.

His smile was radiant and kind, his hands gently rubbing her head, as if he was cherishing every tear on her little apple face.

With him around, she had someone to rely on, someone to lean on, and she could cry without reservations. But after Bai Hongsheng’s accident… Bai Xunyin gradually stopped crying. She preferred to hold back her tears, showing no emotion, because she didn’t want or need anyone wiping her tears away.

“It’s precisely because of your current state that I didn’t want you to come to the hospital.” Ji Huiying, who had entered the room, walked over to Bai Hongsheng and began massaging him proficiently.

She then turned around and saw Bai Xunyin’s desolate expression with red-rimmed eyes. She couldn’t help but sigh. “Xunyin, don’t let it affect you. In reality, your father’s condition hasn’t deteriorated; it has been stable. Who knows, maybe someday…”

As she spoke, her voice suddenly trailed off.

Bai Xunyin knew that it was because Ji Huiying couldn’t provide any assurances, and she didn’t want to deceive her either, so she could only fall silent.

When Bai Hongsheng would wake up was as uncertain as when Bai Xunyin’s voice would return—an unknown concept that no doctor could guarantee.

It could be tomorrow, or it could be a lifetime.

Bai Xunyin just pitied Ji Huiying, a woman who had to shoulder their burden, as heavy as a lead ball, all on her own.

Her mother’s backbone appeared fragile, but it was hard to break.

Lost in thought, Bai Xunyin’s phone hidden in her jeans pocket buzzed.

When she saw those three words now, her pupils involuntarily contracted, a mixture of restlessness and anxiety surged from within.

Bai Xunyin’s delicate fingers tightened, impatiently ending the call, and switched her phone to silent mode. She tossed it onto the table, out of sight, out of mind, then walked over to help Ji Huiying massage Bai Hongsheng along with her.

As for the call from Yu Luoyin whose call had been abruptly cut off, he looked at his phone screen in bewilderment, and after a while, chuckled softly.

The laughter sounded particularly discordant in the deserted corridor.

He felt like a joke.

On New Year’s, despite his family’s admonishments and reproaches, he stubbornly left the house and drove all the way to this shabby building where Bai Xunyin lived… only to find that no one was home.

Could he have guessed wrong?

Had Bai Xunyin really gone to a relative’s house for the New Year?

But even if she had gone to a relative’s house, she wouldn’t just hang up, would she?

Yu Luoyin’s brows slightly furrowed in contemplation as he stared at the phone screen. After a while, he called again.

The ringing tone started and stopped on its own, yet there was still no answer.

Yu Luoyin’s furrowed brows couldn’t help but carry a tinge of annoyance, along with a faint uneasiness.

He even couldn’t resist lighting a cigarette.

In the narrow corridor filled with wisps of smoke, when people passing by saw the strikingly handsome young man, their voices would unconsciously freeze for a moment, then they would lower their voices and move away, muttering to themselves.

After all, Yu Luoyin’s current demeanor was heavy, emitting an aura of ‘keep your distance from me.

He absentmindedly played with the steel lighter in his hand, feeling that something was off with Bai Xunyin.

From not answering calls for the past few days to replying with just a single word on WeChat…

Compared to her previous obedient self, she seemed like a completely different person.

Did he offend her somewhere?

As a cigarette burned out, he still hadn’t figured out anything, and his phone kept ringing incessantly—calls were coming from all directions, with the majority being from his family, urging him to come back.

Feeling restless, Yu Luoyin pressed his phone shut and stamped out the cigarette butt before heading downstairs.

Before leaving in his car, he sent Bai Xunyin a message with a slightly curt tone.

[Give me a reason for not answering the phone.]

However, by the time he arrived home, there was no response to the message.

The girl seemed to have made up her mind to ignore him, which was quite infuriating.

Fire smoldered in Yu Luoyin’s heart, and he unknowingly clenched his fists, causing his joints to make a faint ‘crack’ sound. When he entered with a layer of cold air surrounding him, it contrasted starkly with the ‘warm as spring’ atmosphere inside the house.

He exuded an aura of ‘chilly aggression’.

“Ah Yin, what’s wrong?”

Yu Luoyin’s cousin, Yu Shitian, walked over. She was someone he rarely got along well with.

She asked curiously, “Who made you angry?”

Yu Luoyin shook his head slightly, hesitated for a moment, then lazily tugged at his lips.

“Who could make me angry?”

Yu Luoyin squinted his eyes slightly and arrogantly stated, “It’s always me making others angry.”

Bai Xunyin, too, was included in that; she could never affect him.

With an air of youthful arrogance, he was like a fierce leopard, yet his appearance was as elegant and refined as a lazy cat.

These two contrasting qualities blended together surprisingly harmoniously.

As if he was naturally meant to be this way, and no one had the power to undermine him in the slightest.

Even Yu Luoyin’s cousin found it somewhat unexpected. She looked at him sideways and teased, “Who offended you? Are you in love or chasing after a girl?”

“Neither.”

Thinking about the call that was abruptly hung up and the messages that were ignored these days, Yu Luoyin’s gaze dimmed slightly, and a subtle hint of darkness flickered in his eyes.

He said lightly, “It’s for amusing a pet.”

“What kind of pet? Cousin, are you raising a cat or a dog?” Yu Luoyin’s cousin found it perplexing.

“Do you need to use a bracelet to amuse it? Can’t you just use a cat toy?”

“It’s being temperamental lately.”

Yu Luoyin snorted lightly and smiled casually. “It needs to be coaxed.”

Cats like shiny and shimmering things, and don’t girls also like diamonds?

After a long dinner gathering, Yu Luoyin finally received a response from Bai Xunyin.

The words in the message box were as bland and unexciting as the sumptuous feast from earlier, drowned out by the noise.

Being able to contact her somewhat relieved Yu Luoyin’s inexplicable anxiety. He lowered his eyes and asked when she would return.

Bai Xunyin replied quickly.

[Tomorrow.]

[Okay.]

Yu Luoyin chuckled lightly, “Wait for me at home.”

Afterward, he called his cousin Yu Shitian and spoke lazily—

“Find a way to get the bracelet for me by noon tomorrow.”