The Abandoned Empress

‘Huh? What is this sound?’

As I turned around the corner, I suddenly heard somebody screaming and walking quickly. I craned my neck to see what happened, but I couldn’t because my view was obstructed by the wall. I felt uncomfortable, but I thought that it was not a big deal because there was no big disturbance.

***

I visited my father’s office as the captain of the knights. It was not very different from the office in my memories. Documents were stacked on a large desk. There were chairs and simple tea sets for his aides and visitors. It was a typical office.

Although I told him several times that I was okay, my father called the royal doctor as soon as he arrived at the office. When the doctor said I was okay, but I felt dizzy because I was too weak, he was relieved and went back to work.

When I noticed the mounds of documents, one thing flashed my mind.

In the past, I always handled a lot of documents in a dreamy state. If my memory was true, could I understand and deal with my father’s documents, too?

I picked up a document on his aide’s table. My father gave me a look, but didn’t care.

Contrary to my expectation that it was difficult, the thick paper was surprisingly easy to understand.

If so, are things in my memories not a dream?

Or am I dreaming now?

I looked up at my father with trembling eyes. I looked at him very briefly, but he immediately met my gaze, so I lowered my head in a hurry. Pretending to be casual, I was reading the documents. I tilted my head, thought.

Something was not correct.

“Are you sure? Huh? Oh, you’re right.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

Suddenly, the door opened wide and two men came in. One man with blazing red hair and the other man looked intelligent had green hair. I stood up at the appearance of these two familiar men.

They were Duke Lars and Duke Verita. They were the masters who taught me a lot in my dreamy memories.

“How are you, Duke Lars and Duke Verita?”

“Long time no see, lady. Did you learn everything I taught you last time? ”

Did he teach me anything last time? What did he teach me? I knew I hadn’t yet started the empress course. I was puzzled a bit, but nodded because of my faint memories.

Yes, that’s right. My empress classed started after I turned ten, but I was taught before.

When I came home to see my father, he used to tell me lots of things.

When I nodded, Duke Lars approached my father with a faint smile. I looked up instead of focusing on the document because Duke Verita was staring at me intently. He asked me, pointing to the document with interest, “Have you prepared this document?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Why did you come to this conclusion?”

“It’s because…”

What I thought was rather strange was the expenses for the meal kits for the knights. The document stated that next month some of the 2nd Knights Division would leave to inspect the border. If so, the number of knights stationed in the capital would be reduced, and the expenses of their meal kits had to be reduced proportionally, but the document didn’t reflect the necessary decrease in the original expenses. So, I searched for the last budget proposal and compared the cost of the meal kits and their cost after adjusting inflation. I found that the meal kits were being overcharged.

When I explained this in detail, Duke Veritas looked at the document carefully.

“If that’s true, I think I have to find out the man responsible for the overcharge and punish him.”

“No, you shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Well, he could have made a mistake. Even if he did it deliberately, I don’t think it’s right for you to punish him without finding out the exact reason.”

He nodded again and asked again, “How about calling the budget guy right now and asking for his explanation?”

“No, that is not good.”

“Why is that?”

“If he made a mistake, you could forgive him with a light warning, but if he did it on purpose, he might lie to avoid punishment. How can you determine if he is telling the truth or not by simply listening to him? If you are not tactful enough, he might feel scared and run away at your question. So you had better investigate whether he had any reason to overcharge the meal kit expenses.”

“I think your explanation makes sense.”

I didn’t know when he overheard our conversation, but Duke Lars cut in.

“So, you discovered the overcharged items to reduce costs, right? But you have to take into the cost of investigation if you follow the lady’s recommendation. Instead, call the guy responsible for the overcharges and punish him. Why should you bother about it?”

“Because we are aristocrats.”

“What does that mean?” Veritas asked back quickly.

“We are nobles serving the Emperor above while ruling 20 million people in the empire.

It is the duty of the nobles to support the empire sincerely, so he can make choices to enhance the people’s lives.”

“So what?”

“As you know, nobles rely on the taxes collected from the people in the empire. In that sense, saving the budget is very important, but it should not be done by sacrificing innocent people. ”

“Great.”

Duke Lars nodded silently. With a slight smile, Duke Verita looked back at her father.

I recalled something that was too vivid for me to call it a dream.

The emperor’s eyes, which were cold from the first meeting, and his cold smile at me, but kind smile at another woman, hurt my feelings.

My heart was racing when I recalled my father’s promise that he would come back soon to take me back home, the emperor’s brutal laughing after telling me my father had been beheaded, his distorted smile after I stabbed him with the hairpin, and his laughter even when I was beheaded.

“Ouch!”

I plucked my chest. I could hardly breathe. I broke out into a cold sweat, and I felt dizzy. My head was spinning with a mix of green and silver before my eyes.

I heard somebody shouting something.

The whole world turned black for the last time I felt like someone was picking me up.

***

I opened my eyes. It was dark.

‘Where am I now? Am I awake from my dream?’

Although I couldn’t see anything, I looked around and held back the urge to scream.

Was I dead? Was the brief happy moment as well as a shred of conscience God’s last gift to me? Where am I now?!’

The moment I tried to scream like crazy, my heart sank when I heard something familiar.

As I reached out my trembling hand, I felt a thin thread. What is this?

“You’re awake.”

I heard somebody saying with a subdued voice. I felt relieved at the moment. How fortunate! It seems like I haven’t yet woken from my dream. Or I might have had a terrible nightmare.

But was that memory a nightmare? It’s so vivid. No matter how hard I thought about it, I could not be sure if it was a dream or if my bitter memory was a dream. I was very confused.

“Daddy.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Oh, Dad.”

“Okay.”

“Daddy, Dad, Dad… ”

“Okay.”

I called and called my father for fear that he might disappear again.

My anxiety began to disappear gradually when he kept responding to my repeated crying “Daddy” and his tight grip on my hands. As I was getting familiar with the dark, I began to see my father’s eyes now, which were full of affection for me that I had not noticed. His navy blue eyes full of worries and anxieties looked so warm.

I was choked with emotions. I did not want to miss this moment.

“Dad.”

“Well.”

“I want to go to the temple.”

“Temple?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, if you feel better, let’s go together.”

“No. I want to go there alone tomorrow. Would it be okay?”

Only

If this moment was a dream to me, there may be no tomorrow for me. But if that terrible memory was a dream, I felt I needed to go to the temple at least once because it may have been the revelation from God for my future.

I wouldn’t care if it was a common dream, but the appearance of a mysterious girl who appeared from nowhere was certainly unusual. If it’s a prophecy, wouldn’t it be God’s prophecy? As they have to disclose it unless it’s very important, I could hear about it if there was God’s prophecy to be heard.

“Yes, you can go there.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“Think about it tomorrow and sleep more.”

“Will you be here when I sleep?”

Because I may have no tomorrow, I played baby as if this was the last moment I was with him.