The Abandoned Empress

If this was really a dream, I could not know when I would wake up. So, I wanted to do all things I couldn’t do even for a short time while I was dreaming.

I broke out in a cold sweat when I thought of seeing his face again.

How could I have a meal with him when I showed my ugliness? I tried not to go anyway, but I eventually got up at Lina’s repeated persuasion.

“Come on in!”

My father was already waiting for me. I sat down, still feeling awkward.

“I’m sorry for being late, daddy.”

Huh? Did he wince at me? As his motion was so small, I did not know if I had seen it well.

I tilted my head while moving my fork in silence. Why is he making such an expression? Is he displeased with behavior?

“You don’t look good. Are you okay, daddy?”

This time his motion was rather big. Didn’t he really like the food?

“Oh, no.”

“You look uncomfortable. Are you really alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“Then, what’s the matter with you? If you tell me, let me tell them to correct it immediately. ”

I asked him again why he was acting unnaturally today. He was silent for a long time, with his face hardened, and then said finally, “Why don’t you call me like you did before?”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, why don’t you call me like you did in the training field?”

Huh? Training field? What did I call you then?

“Daddy…” My face blushed. Oh My God. What did I do there?

I realized that I was doing something that I wouldn’t have even imagined normally.

Although I vowed that I would act freely as I wished, I was very embarrassed.

As I couldn’t see him face to face, I looked down. As if he felt the same way, he cleared his throat several times and said, “Yeah, that’s the thing.”

“… ”

“Call me like that in the future.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hummm… let me leave first as I have got something to do.”

I blankly stared at my father as he quickly left the dining room.

Does he mean I have to call him daddy in the future? Oh, no way. I think I heard it wrong.

As someone who is notorious for being blunt, he wouldn’t want me to do that.

When I stood up, shaking my head, I suddenly saw the attendant and maids looking at me blankly. I was suspicious of their puzzled look. Wasn’t it that I heard wrong? Then, he wanted me to call him daddy from now on?

I broke into laughter unconsciously. If this was a dream, I never wanted to wake up because unlike the harsh reality I had lived in, I was happy in my dream.

I thought of my father, who tightened his grip on his hands holding me in his arms, for fear that I had fallen. I also recalled his strong chest and fast heartbeat. The warmth of my father that I felt for the first time soothed my tired mind.

If this moment could continue, if I could enjoy this happiness, I could sleep and die forever.

I prayed with all my strength that if this was a dream, I would never wake up.

***

“Good bye, daddy.”

As the Captain of the 2nd Knights, my father went to work every other day with Duke Lars, the Captain of the 1st Knights, unless something special happened. Every time my father went to the imperial palace, I showed him the basic manners out of courtesy for him. The relationship between me and my father was chilly.

But today it was different. When my father nodded, I often saw his face overlapped with when told me he would come back soon to pick me up. I grabbed his blue uniform with my trembling hands. I was afraid he would suddenly disappear. If I let go of his hands now, I felt like I would wake up from a cozy dream and be thrown into a cold reality.

“What’s wrong with you, Tia? Do you have anything to say to me? ”

“Oh no, daddy.”

“Well, are you sick?”

“No, daddy.”

“Then, what’s the matter with you? You look so different today. ”

He extended his hand to touch my forehead. When I met his deep blue eyes filled with anxiety, I felt as if the anxiety weighing on me seemed to go away a bit.

I knew that doing as I wished was different from troubling somebody. So, I felt that I should not trouble my father anymore. I was still scared, but I released my grip on his uniform and said reluctantly, “It’s nothing special. Please take care, daddy. ”

“Hmm.”

I smiled as brightly as possible, but my father frowned. There was a moment of silence.

When I was about to tell him I was okay, he held out his big hands and said, “You want to go with me?”

“Pardon? To the palace? ”

“Yes.”

“Can I?”

“Of course, you can.”

“Thank you, Dad!”

I brightly smiled at his unexpected response, and clung to his arms.

I heard somebody murmuring behind my back. Looking back, I saw the knights staring at my father and me sharply.

Why were they staring at us like that?

Tilting my head, I met a middle aged knight’s eyes. I also smiled unconsciously when he smiled at me. Then, their whispering became louder. What the hell were they doing?

Their long whispering stopped only after my father ordered them to leave.

I was puzzled, watching them going back to their place as if nothing happened. Was it because of me? Because I acted differently today? If that’s the case, it’s too realistic for a dream.

Then, am I in the real world now? Was the long and painful pain of mine just a nightmare?

I headed for the palace with such doubt.

***

“Let’s get down, sweetheart.”

“Yes, dad.”

Get out of the carriage, I looked around. The sunlit white building shone golden, and the thick green trees cast shadows over those who hid there from the hot sun. There were servants and maids walking briskly, officials talking to each other holding a handful of paperwork, and knights trading places with each other, dressed in fancy uniforms. All these were the same familiar images that I had in my past memories when I entered the palace cautiously.

I could see a magnificent palace towering over lots of buildings. Unusually large, it was the Central Palace, the center of the imperial palace as well as the residence of the emperor. When I was looking at the white building, I was troubled by anxiety again. I didn’t know if it was a dream or a reality, but all kinds of miserable memories came to my mind.

I felt as if the emperor appeared before me right away and sneered at me, so I grabbed my father’s sleeves with my trembling hands. My father’s face hardened when he looked at me strangely.

“What’s wrong with you, Tia? Are you sick?”

“Ah… ”

“I can’t stand it anymore. Let me take you to the royal doctor.”

Without giving me any time to respond, he moved quickly. I put my arm around my father’s neck and leaned on his shoulder. It felt like the warmth I felt from his broad chest whispered to me that I would be okay, so I could feel relieved. Only then did my trembling subside. My anxiety subsided little by little.

“Your Majesty?”

“Captain?”

I came to my senses when I heard them exchanging greetings with each other.

Where am I now?

When I turned and looked around carefully, the knights in indigo uniforms were standing stiffly nearby. They were looking at my father in surprise. In fact, they were staring at me in his arms.

Oh My God! I whispered small, hiding my blushing face.

“Please put me down, daddy.”

“We’re almost there. So, hang on a minute.”

“No, I still don’t like it. Please put me down, Dad. ”

“No way.”

I asked him to put me down several times, but he was very determined. Although I was ashamed when they were looking at me, I gave up and buried my face in his shoulder rather than asking again. I was speechless when I met his blue eyes.

“I’m honored to see you, Captain!”

“Welcome, sir.”

“Well, nice job, man.”

When I turned my head slightly, I saw a couple of knights bowing to my father.

I stiffened at their burdensome look.

Why are they making such expressions? It looks like they are looking at their puppies!

Only

“Well Captain.”

“What’s up?”

“Can I hold her? You look tired…”

“No, sir. I can do it because this guy is very tired because of heavy training today…”

“No thanks, guys. Just go back to your work.”

I saw lots of wistfulness in their eyes when my father rejected their request.

After rejecting them out of hand, my father began to walk again.