The Decade of Deep Love

Chapter 39: An Uninvited Guest

Translator: Ruriko & Claire.KK

Zhishu He woke up very early when it was still dark. Looking outside from the window, there were still street lights and shop signs lighting. Zhishu He had not slept well for a long time, especially recently, when he suffered from habitual insomnia. So he often woke up after falling asleep. It was even rare for him to sleep for three or four hours continuously.

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and looking at the pale and morbid person reflected on it, he asked lightly, “Have you ever lived a happy life in your life?”

No one answered him. Then Zhishu He smiled and spat a sink of blood.

Zhishu He knew that his disease began to worsen. When he first saw the internal bleeding under his eyelids through the mirror, he even felt sick of looking in the mirror. But even though he did not look at himself, there were more and more bruise marks on his body, most of which were on his ribs under the armpit. At first glance, he really seemed to have suffered domestic violence.

Sometimes, Zhishu He didn’t want to think too much, but he couldn’t control himself. He always told himself that it was normal for Wenxu Jiang to play outside. So it was good enough for him to be willing to go home. ‘What else do I want?’ But self-consolation had no use now. He became more and more sensitive and out of control. The physical and mental torture let him gradually lose himself who was ever gentle and cultured. 𝒇𝑟e𝙚𝑤𝙚𝐛𝗻𝐨ν𝚎𝘭.c𝐨m

As things had developed to this point, Zhishu He told himself that it was time to give up. After fourteen years, the two men lost the good side of themselves after seeing too much of the reality. And the last bit of romance between them were going to disappear in the completely shattering life. At last, someone finally woke up and it was time to be over.

Giving up didn’t mean that he didn’t love Jiang anymore. It’s just that he was too tired to love the person, so he should spare some respect for himself. That’s it. Whether it was a secret crush or mutual gratification, if there was still a glimmer of hope for them at last, he would never be willing to give up.

The gauze on the finger was already soaked in blood. Luckily, the blood had been stopped after the night. He changed a piece of clean gauze for himself while thinking that he shouldn’t get himself injured again otherwise it would be inconvenient to do anything like now.

He had no appetite, but his cats needed to be fed. These cats had been spoiled so badly by Zhishu that they didn’t eat the packaged cat food. As soon as they were hungry, they would pester Zhishu He like brats to ask for freshly made food.

So he just had to make some food for these cats after taking the medicine. Zhishu He was stunned and doubted whether he had been a wrong place when he heard the doorbell. After a few more knocks at the door, he realized that it was his home indeed.

He turned off the heat and opened the door, thinking it was the day that the clerk of the property company came to check the water meter again. But he didn’t expect that it was a strange boy standing outside the door.

This boy was really good-looking. He had delicate features, with white skin, a pointed chin, and sentimental eyes. But his eyes were still red and swollen. There was a thought flashing across his mind, but he didn’t catch it.

“…Who are you looking for?”

“Are you Zhishu He? My name is Zui Shen. I’m coming here to see you.” The vague shadow in the mind of Zhishu He finally appeared clearly. And the idea he just had was that the appearance type of this boy was Wenxu Jiang’s favorite.

Zhishu He never thought Jiang’s lover would take the initiative to come to him. He didn’t know how to solve this kind of issue that happened between two men. Normally, a hostess could kick up a row to catch adultery aboveboard. While such a thing was difficult for him to deal with when Jiang’s lover came to himself, whether it was humiliating or not. The dull pain in his heart made him rather slower in reaction. He was truly afraid of losing face, even though he had been laughed at by the other now.

“Let me in and have a seat, will you?” It was a melodious voice, which was full of pure and young vigor, even the last sound.

Zhishu He leaned to one side slightly, unable to raise his head, because he had been suppressed by the this boy’s young radiance that he had already lost long ago. “Well, come in.” He said.

In fact, Zui Shen had been sizing up Zhishu He too. He knew that this man was irreplaceable for Wenxu Jiang. And he had also been curious about Zhishu He. But he was warned by a few of Wenxu Jiang’s friends who had known Jiang for seven years or so that he must not mess with Zhishu He if he wanted to stay a long time with Wenxu Jiang.

Later on, he heard that he looked like young Zhishu He, which he remembered all the time. So he always thought that this man must be good-looking. But today he was surprised when he saw Zhishu He.

This was a pale and haggard man, who couldn’t even be regarded to be good-looking.

Zhishu He went to pour a cup of hot water for Zui Shen, “It’s a cold day. Drink some water to warm yourself first.”

Zui Shen looked at Zhishu He with amazement. Zhishu He must know his identity according to He’s reaction just now. It was quite rare for normal people not to be acrimonious toward a lover. However, he did not expect that Zhishu He would let him enter the house for a cup of hot water.

Zui Shen was not a bad boy. He just wanted to stay with the man he loved. But who didn’t?

“I’ve been with Brother Jiang for a long time,” Shen Zui looked at Zhishu He with a trace of unexplainable imploration in his eyes. “Can you leave him?”

Sitting aside, after a while Zhishu He realized that this boy was hoping he could give up Wenxu Jiang. But the key was what he could do to help this boy. He was not the man dominating this matter.

“You have to talk with him yourself. But according to his temperament, you can’t keep him.” Zhishu said as if he was soothing himself, as well as persuading Zui Shen.

Zui Shen kept silent. He seemed not at all to stir up trouble here as a lover usually did. Instead, he was like a child falling in love with his father. So Zhishu He was helpless while feeling hatred and angry.

Zhishu He could not stand such a silent situation. But he couldn’t kick Zui Shen out by his nature. Then he asked by touching his own sore spot, “How long have you been with him?”

“I’ve been with him since I haven’t graduated from the college. It has been three years.” He answered, his tone full of self-satisfaction and pride, as if it was a great thing that he could stay with Wenxu Jiang as long as for three years.

Zhishu He did not feel more sorrow. He had prepared for this day. So he only responded softly, “Three years? Three years...”

“Let me think about it. On the third year we were together...” Zhishu He pressed his lips slightly. He really hated this masochistic behavior to recall the memory.

“The third year we were together is 2003, when SARS broke out.” Zhishu He smiled, “Maybe you were just over ten years old, right? At that time, it was lucky to be young. At least, the less you knew, the less panic you would be in.”

“That year Wenxu Jiang was not Boss Jiang, not even Mr. Jiang. He was still young Jiang working in a small electronic technology company. At the time of the full outbreak of SARS, Beijing was completely blocked, when people realized that hospitals were absolutely the last place on the earth to enter.”

“Hospitals in Beijing were so crowded that the isolated areas just had one more tightly closed glass door than the general ward and infusion was even performed in the courtyard. It was such a terrible period that every day some people died. Most of them were patients and many were medical staff. Even the Minister of Public Health was infected and died after he made a visit.”

“I was in a hospital then,” Zhishu He said gently and calmly.

“My boss, his wife and child were all infected. He was very kind to me. But he died firstly. I think I needed to take care of his families in the hospital. And I had even thought of the content of my will in case someday I also got infected. I just hoped that Wenxu Jiang would not be sad but forget me. However, I didn’t expect that one night Wenxu Jiang secretly crossed the isolation belt and dragged me home.”

Zhishu He said off and on, being afraid that he would be crushed by the memory that had been forcedly sealed, “He was never angrier and never less terrifying than that in my memory. He was going to hit me with his hand up, but finally he slapped his own face hard. He said nothing but kept crying. I had to pacify him. I said, “What has happened to you? I haven’t bullied you!”

He said, “If you die, how can I live alone?”

“At last, my boss’ wife and daughter were dead soon, while I’m fine. Later on, a lawyer came to tell me that my boss had given his company to me.” Zhishu He smiled, “It is right the one Wenxu Jiang is running now.”