The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Xie Yunfei was so shocked that he even forgot how to speak for a moment. He just stared at Lan Xi dumbfoundedly, still not willing to believe it. He looked around on the ground desperately - the diamond really was gone. And in the powder that used to be the diamond earring, he could vaguely see the crystalline particles that belonged to his poor earrings...

The indecent thoughts Xie Yunfei originally had towards Lan Xi due to her appearance vanished instantly when faced with her formidable power.

With Lan Xi's capabilities, even if he succeeded in wooing her, what if she wanted to break up one day? Would he even be able to get away from her? What if she got angry because he mentioned splitting up and made him disappear just like she did to the diamond earring on the table...

What's more, she even wanted him to buy her a bigger carat diamond to pound... Although Xie Yunfei was willing to spend some money during the initial pursuit, he did not plan on splurging large amounts...

His surging hormones instantly cooled down. Following his survival instincts, he stammered with some difficulty: "There's no need to demonstrate further, I completely believe that you possess a strength harder than diamond. There is no need to waste time proving yourself again. In my heart, you are already the best!"

Xie Yunfei felt that he needed a long-term strategy to win over Lan Xi. He had to formulate a new "battle plan".

Diamonds were clearly out of the question.

However...

"I came to deliver afternoon tea a few days ago and saw that you really enjoyed eating them. How about after work today, I'll take you out to eat dessert?"

It would be better to keep things normal and go to a dessert shop. That way, he wouldn't have to spend too much money and there wouldn't be any potential danger either. Xie Yunfei felt that would be the safer option compared to extravagant gifts.

As expected, when Lan Xi heard the words "dessert", her face revealed a naive, yearning look like that of a baby deer's: "That would be wonderful! Can I eat until I'm full?"

Seeing such a beauty look at him with eyes like that, Xie Yunfei's heart melted entirely. His hormones rushed to his brain again. Unable to restrain himself, he grasped Lan Xi's hand and stroked it gently. "Of course, eat as much as you want."

They were just going to eat some desserts, how much could that cost?

Xie Yunfei felt that although there were some minor setbacks, his overall strategy to pursue Lan Xi was on the right track.

**

With the launch date of the new weather system drawing near, Xie Cheng had been extremely busy lately. He didn't even have time to eat proper meals. The constant business trips and meetings made even the usually energetic him feel a little worn out.

Luckily it was almost the weekend. He had finished handling everything for this week and could relax a bit.

After visiting a client, Xie Cheng had to rush back to the company because there was a contract at Wan Yan’s desk that required his signature.

It was already past regular office hours and some employees had left. Glancing over, Xie Cheng saw no one at Lan Xi’s desk - she had gone as well.

Wan Yan on the other hand was still working diligently, analyzing data on her computer screen. Seeing Xie Cheng, she immediately got up with the contract in hand and followed him into his office.

"Senior, this is the contract that requires your signature."

Xie Cheng examined the contract closely before signing his name. He gave Wan Yan a smile. "You've worked hard these past few days with the overtime. You should head home early too."

Wan Yan replied with a smile, "It's my duty, Senior. I don't have evening plans to eat at trendy shops like Lan Xi does with Director Xie. As a single woman, I don't have much of a nightlife either, so I might as well stay and work overtime diligently."

After being told off by Xie Jing previously, Wan Yan originally expected him to teach Lan Xi a lesson. Yet despite waiting eagerly, there was no action from Xie Jing’s side. Instead, she witnessed Xie Yunfei frequently coming and going from Cheng Xin these past few days.

What left her speechless was that Lan Xi, who was so focused on seducing Xie Cheng for a promotion previously, had suddenly changed her target. This morning, Wan Yan saw Xie Yunfei take Lan Xi out alone. When she returned, Wan Yan overheard them confirm the dessert shop to meet at that evening.

That shameless woman!

She must inform Xie Cheng about this! Wan Yan refused to believe anyone could tolerate a woman trying to sit on two chairs repeatedly like this.

...

Xie Cheng was aware of Xie Yunfei's actions lately. Given his playboy personality, even if he wanted to fool around with a pretty receptionist or admin staff from Cheng Xin, Xie Cheng didn’t mind. After all, those were very replaceable positions. However, after being reminded by Wan Yan, Xie Cheng realised something.

The most good-looking person in Cheng Xin wasn’t a front desk staff member or admin - it was Lan Xi. Although he didn’t want to admit it, she did possess a face gifted by the heavens. It was only natural for Xie Yunfei to have his eyes on her.

Xie Cheng had rejected Lan Xi clearly. Logically, it was normal for her to start a new relationship and interact with other men - it was a necessary process for her to move on. Yet Xie Cheng couldn’t make himself feel happy about it at all.

But on second thought, it was natural he couldn’t feel happy, because the other person was Xie Yunfei. He knew Xie Yunfei’s character all too well.

One was a seasoned playboy while the other was socially awkward and innocent. What's more, Lan Xi was definitely still heartbroken over his rejection. She was also silly and naive - wasn't this the perfect opportunity for someone to take advantage?

As a good citizen with a strong sense of justice and responsibility, how could he stand by and watch such depravity unfold beside him under the sunlight?

Besides, Lan Xi had such a simple mind and endured so many tragic violations in the past already. She was pitiful enough to be considered a vulnerable group. As her superior now, Xie Cheng felt that he could not, under any circumstances, allow her to continue being mistreated by trash like Xie Yunfei.

Of course, although Wan Yan asserted firmly that Lan Xi would be meeting Xie Yunfei tonight, Xie Cheng knew that it was impossible for two reasons. Firstly, just yesterday Lan Xi had stubbornly given him that meaningful gift - those toy tanks and toy guns meant to fill the void of his deprived childhood. The thought still touched Xie Cheng deeply.

Clearly Lan Xi was very different from ordinary girls, but emotions were universal. Her feelings for him ran evidently deeper than Xie Cheng imagined. He didn’t believe someone with feelings like hers could detach and enter a new relationship so quickly. Hence, no matter how hard Xie Yunfei tried to seduce her now, Xie Cheng believed Lan Xi would give him no reaction or even nice attitude.

Therefore, despite what Wan Yan claimed, Xie Cheng remained composed for he was almost 100% certain that Lan Xi would absolutely not be with Xie Yunfei tonight. Her feelings for himself ran too deep - she still hadn't given up. How could she possibly accept Xie Yunfei's invitation so casually?

Still, knowing Xie Yunfei had set his sights on Lan Xi made Xie Cheng somewhat annoyed. While Lan Xi would steadfastly ignore his pursuit, there was no guaranteeing what underhanded methods Xie Yunfei might use if faced with long-term rejection. After all, being pestered by someone you dislike could be extremely disturbing.

Perhaps it wasn’t urgent for tonight, but Xie Cheng felt he should lend Lan Xi a hand sooner or later - she liked him so much after all. And her fondness for him was surely rooted in both appearances and moral character.

**

Lan Xi followed Xie Yunfei to the trendy dessert shop eagerly, brimming with anticipation. But when they reached the entrance, there was already a long queue present despite having just passed regular office hours.

"This trendy store is wildly popular. Even during office hours, the queue is usually this long. Compared to other dessert shops, their boss doesn't have restrictive purchase limits per customer. Some trendy shops allow one or two items per person, but their shop has no limits. It's entirely based on the individual's discretion. Hence, if people in front buy more, those waiting behind have to wait even longer. However, their desserts have pre-set combinations daily that customers can't choose - shop staff just need to be told the number of sets to purchase. This saves customers' time from selecting, allowing them to sell out every day."

After explaining, Xie Yunfei thoughtfully handed Lan Xi milk tea he had already bought: "Have this first. We'll still have to wait a while."

Among the many trendy dessert shops, Xie Yunfei chose this one in particular after careful consideration. Precisely because this shop had no purchase limits and a consistently long queue, it gave him ample opportunity during the waiting time to get closer to Lan Xi.

And it unfolded exactly as Xie Yunfei planned. Chatting while queueing up to buy desserts, their conversation surprisingly flowed well. Xie Yunfei finally regained his previous enthusiasm, starting to feel they were making good progress.

After buying the desserts, Xie Yunfei felt he could take the opportunity to lead the girl into a bar. After a few drinks got them in the mood, it would be smooth sailing to get a room.

Finally it was their turn in line according to Xie Yunfei's expectations. To make a stand, Xie Yunfei looked at Lan Xi intensely and generously: "You can buy however many you want. Don't worry, even if I had to buy out this whole store, I could afford it. As long as I have money, you can spend however much you want."

He said humorously with a smile to Lan Xi: "It's just a shame the owner won't sell. Otherwise I would definitely buy this place and keep it open only for you from now on. Unlike now where we have to settle for waiting in line."

Women love to hear these seemingly affectionate but empty boasts. Sure enough, Lan Xi couldn't restrain the lively emotion on her face. She stared at Xie Yunfei almost worshipfully: "I can buy as many as I want?"

Stared at by such a beautiful woman, Xie Yunfei was of course emotionally aroused. Besides, how much could a few desserts cost? These women just wanted a stand.

He immediately smiled charmingly: "As many as you can eat. Brother has plenty of money."

...

Hearing this, Lan Xi was overjoyed, and couldn't help but mentally criticize Xie Cheng.

She felt more and more that Xie Yunfei had skill, while she had carefully studied the guidebook before, following it step-by-step, but not only did she fail to conquer Xie Cheng, but Xie Cheng, that blind man, even mistook her, such a noble princess, as a bodyguard! There must be something wrong with that man and his terrible judgement. This Xie Yunfei on the other hand, her moves were very effective on, with his hot eager gaze, wasn't that exactly the description in the guidebook of an earthling male falling to conquest?

Since he'd already said buy as much as she wanted, then she wouldn't stand on ceremony!

Lan Xi looked at the dessert shop clerk: "How many desserts do you have left now?"

The clerk was stunned, then checked the inventory on the computer: "There's 154 left."

Lan Xi had clearly asked a question that the people lined up behind her cared about too. Hearing the clerk's answer, many people relaxed, there were still 154 left, surely they would get some after waiting in line so long.

But very quickly, they realized nothing could be happily assumed too soon -

Lan Xi excitedly announced loudly: "Then I want all 154!"

She was completely oblivious to the resentful angry looks behind her. Her eyes saw only the pretty desserts in the display case: "Pack up half for me to take home, I'll eat the other half here."

After Lan Xi spoke, she looked to Xie Yunfei at her side: "You can pay now!"

But Xie Yunfei, who had boasted so strongly before about buying however much she wanted, now had a very complicated and awkward expression. Just before he seemed to wish to stand as close to Lan Xi as possible, but now his feet were clearly subtly moving away from Lan Xi, as if he wanted nothing more than to pretend he didn't know her. Called out by Lan Xi like this, he had no choice but to face up.

"Um...how about not buying so many after all. You won't be able to eat them all and it'd be wasteful...and too many sweets can make you fat. There's still people waiting to buy things behind us."

"I can eat them! And I won't get fat! It was so nice they don't have a limit! You said I could buy however many I wanted! And that you even wanted to buy this place for me!"

...

Xie Yunfei had planned for countless possibilities, but didn't expect this to happen. The originally sweet and romantic mood of the love story took a sudden plunge downwards into current events...

He didn't know if the girl was really stupid or just pretending to be stupid. With such a long line behind them, she actually wanted to buy out all the remaining stock herself!

This was deliberately causing trouble!

Sure enough, the people lined up behind them got upset -

"No manners at all! Shameless! I know there's no limit, but you should still have some self-awareness. Even if you buy a lot, you can't take all the remaining stock!"

"We waited in line a long time too!"

"Never seen such a shameless couple with no manners!"

"Hey? Isn't that guy the rich playboy rumored to be in a hot romance with Lisa before? Weren't they passionately in love? How is he now here cheating with such an ill-mannered woman?" The speaker took out his phone as he talked. "I'm taking video of you shameless scum to expose online!"

The people lined up behind surrounded Xie Yunfei and Lan Xi: "That's right, show some manners! If you have no manners, don't think about leaving!"

...

**

Xie Cheng rarely didn't work overtime tonight. After a simple dinner, he'd originally planned to relax by reading before going to bed early. There would be nonstop financing and partnerships to handle after the weather analysis software went online, so he had to rest and store up energy during this brief respite from busyness.

It would have been a wonderful night, but Xie Cheng had just gotten into bed when he received a call from Lan Xi -

"Xie Cheng! Come save me quick!"

Her voice carried impatience and helplessness, pitifully. The background was noisy, clearly she was outside somewhere.

Xie Cheng was instantly alert. He rubbed between his brows, unable to keep the urgency from his voice: "What happened? Where are you?"

Unfortunately the signal seemed bad and it was too noisy around Lan Xi. It sounded like some argument happening, a few shrill female voices cursing near Lan Xi. Just in that brief few minutes' call, Xie Cheng caught words like "shameless" "no class" and other insults.

Sure enough, she'd run into trouble.

"Send me your location, I'll come right away." Xie Cheng grimly got out of bed and started changing clothes.

Someone like Lan Xi, born completely socially oblivious and ignorant, if she ran into trouble and got surrounded outside, would probably have no way to resolve it herself. In Rong City without family or friends, the only one who could help her now was himself.

Soon, Xie Cheng finished dressing and rushed out, taking a shortcut and speeding to arrive near the location Lan Xi had sent. It was a shopping district with foot traffic. For this, Xie Cheng had no choice but to park his car in a nearby parking garage, then ran towards the marked location.

The slower he was by every minute, the longer Lan Xi would have to tough it out alone.

He had to hurry.

And so that night in the pedestrian street, many people saw a stern-faced man constantly pushing through the crowd, running inelegantly...

Lan Xi was waiting for him.

That was the only thought in Xie Cheng's mind.

The location she'd sent was a popular dessert shop. Without needing to look for it, he could tell where she was from the packed crowd blocking the shop's entrance completely.

Xie Cheng asked an old lady: "What's happening here?"

The old lady cracked melon seeds as she shook her head: "Kids nowadays have no manners at all. It was just a couple coming to buy things and bullying people."

A couple?

Lan Xi was actually bullied by a couple!

Xie Cheng knew men in the throes of passion could be very protective, and some hotheaded men might even get physical with others over conflicts with their girlfriends, displaying their protective urges and ability. Swept up by mating instincts, these young men might lose restraint on their force...

Xie Cheng's face darkened as he pushed through the crowd towards the center. Sure enough, Lan Xi stood there looking blank and frustrated, arguing something with another woman.

Seeing Xie Cheng, her face lit up with a "saved" expression and she immediately rushed over to grab Xie Cheng's sleeve: "Xie Cheng! Great you're here!"

Of course, with her deep infatuation for him, his coming to her rescue despite rejecting her must have moved her deeply.

But before Xie Cheng could ask just what had happened and which couple had bullied her, Lan Xi went ahead and spoke first, pulling his hand -

"Xie Cheng! Quick, lend me some class!"

"What?" Xie Cheng thought he misheard.

"Quality! I have no quality!" Lan Xi looked very eager, "I remember you said that not lining up is what's lacking in quality, but I didn't cut in line. I lined up properly and was going to pay money to buy desserts. But the people behind me scolded me for lacking quality."

Lan Xi's tone was rather aggrieved: "They all said that if I don't show some quality, they won't let me leave. I must produce some quality in order to get away..."

"Wow! This is really shocking! How can this woman be so shameless, yet still dare to talk as if we bullied them! It's clearly these two who lack boundaries!"

Two...?

Xie Cheng frowned slightly, only now shifting his gaze from Lan Xi to look around them.

It was also then that he noticed an unexpected figure—Xie Yunfei was standing to the side, seeming like he desperately wanted to stay away from this dispute. He stood a bit farther back from Lan Xi, using one hand to pretend to lean against a display cabinet of the dessert shop next to them, when in actuality he was using this pose to successfully cover up half his face.

The surrounding crowd was still pointing fingers at Lan Xi and Xie Yunfei—

"Even when couples are dating, they need to follow basic manners! And to buy out this whole dessert shop? You can't just use 'lacking quality' as an excuse to show off your relationship!"

...

Just bits and pieces, but enough for Xie Cheng to gradually piece together what happened.

Luckily he had wanted to ask which couple bullied Lan Xi. Now there was no need to ask, since it turned out that Lan Xi and Xie Yunfei were the low-quality couple that bullied others.

What happened to the endless devotion they proclaimed? And sending him children's toys to imply they wanted to make up for the emotional trauma of his childhood—don't tell me this is it? Sweet talking him one second then going off with Xie Yunfei to eat desserts the next?

Is this Lan Xi's love? Does she still have any sincerity left?

Xie Cheng's voice was somewhat gnashing of teeth: "Since you didn't come alone but went with Xie Yunfei to enjoy your after work date, then you shouldn't have called me. You can go find your date Xie Yunfei to solve this."

That's right, he was overthinking things.

With a face that attracted bees and butterflies like Lan Xi's, even if she met trouble, there would be no shortage of men willing to charge ahead for her. He didn't need to go so far out of his way to sacrifice his precious sleep to run over here. What's more, even if she was alone, with her abnormally high combat ability, who could be her match?

Xie Cheng, suppressing his emotions, was about to grimly turn and leave when Lan Xi grabbed hold of him.

"That won't do, Xie Cheng." She pointed to Xie Yunfei at the side. "He's useless. I can only find you."

What? Realized he's not up to par after one date and the reliable one is still himself? Found a low-spec substitute only to discover no one can replace the original?

Xie Cheng stopped in his tracks. He did want to hear how Lan Xi would argue her way out of this.

If her explanation was sincere enough, he wasn't against letting it go. After all, finding an emotional rebound after heartbreak was common enough. Being able to rein herself back from the brink after realizing Xie Yunfei truly was unworthy of being a stand-in also showed she had some discernment.

Xie Cheng looked at Xie Yunfei, who wasn't too far away. "So why is he useless?"

"Because they said both he and I lack quality. So I thought about it and called you." Lan Xi looked at Xie Cheng matter-of-factly. "And they clearly knew neither he nor I had any quality, yet still forced us to show quality and be good people. Otherwise they wouldn't let us leave and even threatened to make us trend on social media..."

Lan Xi sounded quite aggrieved and helpless. "I thought and thought about it, and figured you should have some quality on you. Even if you don't have a lot, could you lend me some for an emergency? I'll pay you back later."

"............" Xie Cheng held it in. For a time, he no longer had the energy to correct Lan Xi's misunderstanding about what "quality" was. He only looked expressionlessly at Lan Xi. "Who told you I have any quality?"

"You should have some, right?" Lan Xi mumbled. "And didn't you say that if anything comes up in the future you'd be willing to help? I feel like since you're rich, you should have quality."

Yet Xie Cheng's expression was still very ugly.

Lan Xi had a bad premonition—

"Xie Cheng, you don't have any quality either?!"

Wasn't he full of it before? He even said as long as she kept going, his quality would disappear. Could it be gone now?!

Quality seemed to be something ingrained, representing the elite of humanity on Earth. It appeared to make one more easily accepted and praised by society...

As a princess of the Mu Yi star system, whether she had quality made no difference. But Xie Cheng... To think someone so young already lost all quality.

Perhaps because he lost all quality, Xie Cheng's expression grew increasingly awful. He glanced at Lan Xi, then glanced at Xie Yunfei.

"I don't have any quality either, so don't look for me about things like this in the future."

He coldly threw out this line without another look at Lan Xi, then turned and walked away.

Now they were really done for!

She had no quality, Xie Yunfei had no quality, and even the backup Xie Cheng she called in had no quality!

But since quality could disappear from existence, naturally it could also grow from nothingness!

Now that Xie Cheng was grieving over the loss of his quality to the point that he left of his own accord, she could no longer cling to him.

The surrounding crowd was still denouncing Lan Xi, but she turned a deaf ear. Lan Xi made up her mind, took out her phone, and was forced to be self-reliant to provide for herself. She started to research this "quality" thing...

Things were fine when she didn't check, but once Lan Xi did some research, she discovered this quality did not seem hard to grasp at all!

After a simple search, Lan Xi discovered a way to swiftly obtain quality—

"Xie Cheng, come back quick! There's still a way to save your vanished quality!" She shouted excitedly in Xie Cheng's direction, "There's a secret code here called Quality Three Combo! Just chant it along and you'll immediately gain quality!"

While reminding Xie Cheng, Lan Xi also stumbled through the Quality Three Combo on the net: "CNM! NMB! You SB!"

Although she didn't understand what these English letters were doing here, since it was called Quality Three Combo, she'd chant it first. Chant it a couple more times and quality surely wouldn't be able to resist coming back!

Sure enough, right after Lan Xi finished speaking, Xie Cheng, who had categorically turned and left just earlier, seemed to have reached his limit. Grim-faced, he walked back over to Lan Xi—

"Stay quiet."

How could she do that!

"I need to chant it a couple more times to bring back even more quality!"

Xie Cheng, the focus of public attention, revealed a forlorn expression. "Lan Xi, the most quality thing to do right now is stay quiet."

After speaking, he grabbed Lan Xi's hand and dragged her outside. "Come with me."

Looks like this Quality Three Combo really worked! See how Xie Cheng couldn't wait to drag her away alone! Clearly wanting to secretly work on the quality issue together, growing their quality hand-in-hand!!