The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Recently, many things have happened. Xie Cheng's new weather system was improved and officially launched, taking his career to a new level. Jie Jing was arrested for the crime of stealing trade secrets. Wan Yan walked the path of promotion and salary increase through her own efforts. Wei Yijun suddenly became popular as a "male role model". As for Lan Xi...

"I guarantee that the negative impact of previous rumors has basically eliminated. You can now go out freely again without the danger of your safety or privacy being infringed. Everything will return to the way you used to live."

That was what Xie Cheng said clearly, but Lan Xi did not think so!

In recent days when she went out, she lined up properly, but was suddenly cut in line by two young men who looked like hooligans. Before Lan Xi could seriously admonish them that cutting in line would lose etiquette, they turned pale when they saw Lan Xi’s face. They hurriedly resumed etiquette, muttering "Lord of boxing, spare me! Don't beat me, don't beat me, I'll line up immediately!". Then they really went to line up at the end of queue...

In any case, Lan Xi was very satisfied with her current status.

Not long ago, Xie Cheng gave his bank card to Lan Xi. Although they were not married, Lan Xi already had control over his income and finally owned her first premium card.

Knowing that she had a premium card, her people of Mu Yi Star were very supportive. Lan Xi received transfer reminders almost every day, so much so that due to too frequent large amount operations, she was interviewed by the bank. Lan Xi had to call a halt to these "tributes".

With money, the first thing Lan Xi did was to find several good restaurants and eat until she was full. After staying on Earth for a long time, Lan Xi was also more proficient in Earth's culture and hidden rules. Good food on Earth is not necessarily found in expensive restaurants. Some roadside shops are more authentic, cost-effective and tasty.

I don't know why, after eating in several small restaurants in a row, Lan Xi unexpectedly became popular - someone took a video of her eating 100 pig’s trotters crazily. Thanks to her looks and eating prowess, Lan Xi somehow gained fame in the food vlog circle. The few small restaurants she appeared in were also popularized because of her and jumped into fame, becoming internet celebrity stores.

Since then, she has been receiving endless restaurant invitations - inviting her to eat for free unconditionally, as long as she shoots the whole eating process into videos and posts them online.

For this reason, Lan Xi developed this new side business after work.

Lan Xi was very satisfied with this.

Because Diang Di said that to capture a man’s heart, you can’t stick with him all day long. Feelings are like flying a kite. You have to give the kite some freedom to fly high occasionally, as long as you firmly hold onto the kite string.

"What's more, the more a woman has her own self and her own wonderfulness, the more attractive she is. In short, if you ignore him, he will come on more strongly and take the initiative to find you."

Lan Xi believed what Diang Di said must be reasonable, but the fact was that she had been busy with food vlogs for a week and had not dated Xie Cheng, yet Xie Cheng did not take the initiative to find her. Instead, his whereabouts were very strange!

Lan Xi had recently learned a lot about Earth's emotional knowledge. She knew that after the conquest relationship began on Earth, there would be a three-month honeymoon period. After three months, the emotional intensity would decrease and the freshness would fade. Many people would then think of jumping out of this conquest relationship to see the outside world. If not stopped in time, it would lead to cheating and eventually the breakdown of this conquest relationship.

Thinking of her conquest relationship with Xie Cheng ending and Xie Cheng finding someone else, Lan Xi shuddered all over.

How could this be allowed!

In the Mu Yi Star world, there is no breakup between royals, only widowhood.

If Xie Cheng really cheated... then she would have to beat him to death according to practice...

Peace in the universe is Lan Xi’s greatest wish, especially on Earth. She hadn’t yet eaten enough good food here, so beating Xie Cheng to death would be very bad and illegal! It must be for this reason that Lan Xi would absolutely not beat Xie Cheng to death!

The most urgent task now was to find out what Xie Cheng had been busy with recently and nip the dangerous spark in the bud!

It was fine not to check, but when Lan Xi checked, she couldn’t help but lose face. She discovered that Xie Cheng had secretly contacted her hated cousin Dong Ying.

It should be known that Dong Ying had previously coveted Xie Cheng as well. Plus Dong Ying probably knew about her relationship with Xie Cheng now. Based on the fine tradition of snatching everything that belonged to Lan Xi, Dong Ying must be even more aggressive towards Xie Cheng.

Lan Xi was angry and anxious.

She secretly followed Xie Cheng and found that he had started frequent private meetings with Dong Ying.

He clearly knew my cousin was my arch-enemy!

No! Dong Ying had the ability of subliminal messaging. Was it possible that when she learned Lan Xi didn’t invite her to the previous group date, she resented it in her heart and took the opportunity to trap Xie Cheng and gave him some subliminal messages?

Forget it, rather than entangle and doubt oneself, why not confront cousin directly to find out the truth?

Afraid of being fooled by Dong Ying’s abilities when meeting face to face, Lan Xi threatened Wang Zhiqiang for Dong Ying’s phone number as precaution before deciding to communicate with Dong Ying on the phone. As for the method of communication, Lan Xi also decided to focus on frankness.

As soon as the call connected, Lan Xi decided to open the door and enter the room.

Since they were both now on Earth, they should first do as the Romans do and declare in Earth's way -

"Xie Cheng is the Earth man I conquered. Although he was previously single and ownerless, he is now occupied by me and has become owned, so he belongs to me, Lan Xi's property! If you steal owned objects, you infringe my private property rights! I recently discovered that you have been frequently contacting Xie Cheng privately. If you have malicious intent, I will send you a lawyer's letter! So I am calling now to declare my ownership rights over Xie Cheng!"

As a result, Lan Xi’s passionate speech only exchanged contemptuous ridicule from her cousin -

"On Earth, stealing is a crime, stealing a person is not a crime, at most immoral, but morality in the face of great love is nothing."

"Ownership? Have you married Xie Cheng? How did he become your property? Haven't you heard the saying 'If there is an owner of fine grass, I will loosen the soil'. Everyone is single. Feelings are based on mutual affection. What if I happened to strike some sparks with Xie Cheng during work cooperation and he finally realized that I am the one more suitable for him? Then bye-bye with you, and take refuge in my arms, what's the problem?"

Dong Ying's voice was gloating and annoying: "From an Earth person's perspective, aren't my age and background more evenly matched and compatible with Xie Cheng? Look, we are both very successful in our careers, similar in age, we will have more common topics. I also look good. We should be a perfect match."

"What? You can take the initiative to contact and warn me alone. Are you worried that Xie Cheng may really run away?" Dong Ying's voice became louder and louder, rather smug, "Weren't you always winning against me, very confident? Now what, scared?"

"......"

Lan Xi was so angry that she was speechless, because she found that what Dong Ying said was quite reasonable, and she even had no rebuttal.

So she could only pretend to be calm and retort: "I'm not scared at all! I’m very confident! As such a beautiful and noble princess, Xie Cheng isn’t blind! I'm just...just caring about the fragile Earth man who doesn't understand the sinister alien! What if you take advantage of Xie Cheng and give him a subliminal message! Then Xie Cheng would be innocent!"

Dong Ying's answer didn’t hesitate at all: "I can assure you that I didn't give Xie Cheng any subliminal messages this time. I’m going to win you fair and square this time."

Although Lan Xi’s cousin always snatched things from Lan Xi, there was one thing, she did keep her words. Since she said she didn’t give Xie Cheng any hints, it should be true.

But Lan Xi still pretended to be calm and refuted: "You are so insidious, even without subliminal messages, what if Xie Cheng still falls into your trap! He is a naive Earth man! Fragile, needing protection!"

Unfortunately Dong Ying didn’t care about Lan Xi’s provocation at all: "Anyway, I have dinner with Xie Cheng tonight, and it’s at Jin Xiu Tower Restaurant."

Dong Ying boasted and then arrogantly hung up the phone, leaving Lan Xi standing there, almost exploding with anger.

She rarely felt that kind of feeling again - both grieved and angry, as well as helpless. Her heart felt sour, swollen and uncomfortable, as if she had a stomach disease that could not be cured without medicine.

Lan Xi knew she should be more confident. After all, she was a princess, and had never felt nervous about anything. She had absolute power that could overlook the entire Mu Yi Star, and such power was unmatched on Earth. She was strong, proud, and had always been so.

However, at this moment, even if she didn't want to admit it, Lan Xi also knew that her heart was in turmoil because of what Dong Ying had said, and at this moment, she suddenly understood intuitively what it felt like to fear loss.

As a princess, she should have dismissed Dong Ying's provocation with disdain, because the noble princess should not worry about such trivial matters. If Xie Cheng really left her and fell into Dong Ying's arms, Lan Xi should not be angry either, but should show indifference.

Because a princess should not care about such things.

A princess should always be strong, elegant, and high above, how could she easily fall into love and hatred for an Earthling! Her future and destiny lay among the stars and oceans! She was the woman who would conquer the universe!

But...

Lan Xi decided to give Xie Cheng a chance.

She called Xie Cheng: "Xie Cheng, I want to have dinner with you tonight!"

However, Xie Cheng, who was always at her beck and call, seemed a bit abnormal this time. His voice was unnatural, and then Lan Xi heard him clear his throat: "I have a customer reception for work tonight, I'm afraid I can't have dinner with you."

Lan Xi bit her lip: "Is the customer from work male or female?"

"Male."

Xie Cheng didn't even think about it, not even hesitating for a second, before calmly lying to her.

Lan Xi hung up the phone, incredulously mixed with a strong sense of betrayal, feeling that her whole heart was soaking in the sour hawthorn juice, and if she continued soaking, it would rot and deteriorate. She felt very, very uncomfortable, empty inside.

Dong Ying said that she had an appointment with Xie Cheng tonight, and Xie Cheng also confirmed that he did have an appointment tonight, but he lied to her that the appointment was with a man...

If he had openly admitted that he had an appointment with Dong Ying, to discuss work matters, it would still be considered frank, which would be reassuring. But now he blatantly lied, and Lan Xi felt something was terribly wrong.

She knew she shouldn't care so much. A princess should always be elegant and calm, but she couldn't stop the unease in her heart at all.

Oh well, she would just go and see for herself.

It wasn't because she cared about Xie Cheng, an Earthling. It was just to cherish her own time. After all, if she caught Xie Cheng betraying her on the spot, she would draw the line with him then and there! She wouldn't waste time trying to conquer him anymore! Resolve it quickly, and quickly find another Earthling man to conquer!

This was how Lan Xi convinced herself all the way.

She almost flew to Jin Yu Lou, then pretended to be calm and went to the front desk.

"Miss, do you have a reservation?"

"Yes," Lan Xi said coldly, "Under Dong, Miss Dong's reservation." She pretended to be troubled, "It might be under Xie, Mr. Xie's reservation. Can you check it for me?"

The front desk clerk quickly confirmed the private room: "It’s under Miss Dong's reservation, in Room 204. I'll take you there."

Lan Xi’s heart was beating very fast, but she steadied her mind and followed the clerk to the door of Room 204.

Taking a deep breath, Lan Xi pushed aside the beaded curtain and walked in, and as expected, her gaze collided with Dong Ying, who was looking towards the door.

There was only Dong Ying in the private room now.

Xie Cheng hadn't arrived yet?

Lan Xi was about to question angrily, but before she could even open her mouth, she suddenly heard Dong Ying smile at her with ill intent. Lan Xi's alarm bells went off in her heart instantly, but before she could react to anything, she heard Dong Ying open her mouth—

"Now you will go back to Xie Cheng’s villa, and wait for Xie Cheng to come home. When you see him, you will say everything you truly feel in your heart that you can't hide.”

Dong Ying revealed an old treacherous smile: “I’ll make you embarrass yourself in front of Xie Cheng.”

Oh no!!!

How could she forget to be wary of this!

But it was too late.

Although Lan Xi didn't want to leave Jin Yu Lou, she still had to keep an eye on Dong Ying and Xie Cheng! As a result, her feet seemed to take on a will of their own and turned to walk back.

When Lan Xi reacted again, she was already reluctantly standing at the door of Xie Cheng's villa.

She hated Dong Ying to death!

How dare she and Xie Cheng eat and drink merrily in the restaurant, while she herself had to sneak back dejectedly to Xie Cheng’s villa door!

In the past, Lan Xi would have just opened the door and went in, but now... now she had to be a princess of quality.

The more Lan Xi thought about it, the stronger her grievances became. She angrily rang Xie Cheng's doorbell again and again, as if to vent her anger.

Unexpectedly, soon after the doorbell rang, there was a sound from the villa, and a while later, the door opened, revealing Xie Cheng's face. 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝓮𝓌𝑒𝒷𝘯ℴ𝑣𝓮𝓁.𝒸ℴ𝘮

He looked at Lan Xi in surprise, then his expression became embarrassed and at a loss, looking just like being caught cheating: "Lan Xi, why are you here?"

Lan Xi didn't want to hear that.

"What do you mean why am I here? Can I not be here?!"

"Of course you can come, but... now may not be the right time."

"Why is it not the right time! Are you secretly hiding someone at home to cheat?! And didn't you say you were receiving a male customer? How come you're at home? And isn't it true that you made an appointment to meet privately with Dong Ying? She was eagerly waiting for you early in the private room at Jin Yu Lou. How come you're still at home? Not only are you two-timing Dong Ying, do you have someone else hidden at home?!"

Lan Xi should have been calm, cool and indifferent, even if it was pretended. She should have maintained her dignity and self-esteem as a princess, but her damn cousin had messed everything up now.

Her mouth was like a runaway train, spewing out all the questions in her heart to Xie Cheng.

Completely illogical, no structure, and no dignity at all.

At this moment Lan Xi simply wanted to immediately contact her home planet to find a spaceship to flee the Earth at the speed of light, but the fact was that as soon as she turned around, Xie Cheng grabbed her hand.

His expression was helpless but somewhat amused: "What have you been thinking about every day?"

"It's true that I’ve been meeting frequently with Dong Ying recently, but I didn't make an appointment with her today. And yes... I didn't actually meet a customer either."

Lan Xi was still very upset, her eyes were almost red: "So what the hell were you sneakily doing! Why can't I go in if there's no one in the house!"

"And why were you frequently contacting Dong Ying before! I told you my cousin is very nasty!"

"But after all, she is your cousin, at least she has known you longer than me, and understands you better."

Xie Cheng said as he led Lan Xi into the house: "Come in, there really is no one else in the house, but the house is a bit messy... don't be too surprised."

As long as there was no one else, what else could surprise Lan Xi!

But after entering the house, Lan Xi was still shocked by the scene in the living room—

The originally neat and tidy living room was now full of inflated balloons everywhere, scattered with some decorative ribbons, and an air pump...

Was this a party preparation?

Lan Xi really wanted to control her mouth, but very helplessly, the words came out uncontrollably—

"Who are you preparing a party for! I'm unhappy that you’re preparing this for others! Because you are mine, the Earthling I conquered. Your time, your body, your attention, should all belong to me."

"You can't lie to me. You should be honest, because I really trust you, and I really need you. Although I can completely reconquer another Earthling, I am also a super noble princess. I shouldn't care about these trivial things, I should focus on the great cause of conquering the Earth. I shouldn't cling to these petty love, but I really... I really can't stand it!"

"I don't want you to have dinner with Dong Ying, I don't want you to smile at other women, I don't want you to ignore me!"

Lan Xi desperately hoped that Dong Ying's skills would lose effect immediately, but wishes were not horses, she still could not control the feelings that poured from her heart—

"I hope your gaze belongs to me, your smile belongs to me, your joy, anger, sorrow and happiness all belong to me," said Lan Xi.

"I know this is very domineering, but I am after all a princess! A princess's command should be followed, right?"

"I also think you should do this, you also have sufficient reasons to need to do this," replied Xie Cheng, his expression changing from initial bewilderment to later subtlety and finally to a smile of complex interest. When this man smiled—

"So what sufficient reasons do I have to need to do this?"

Lan Xi pathetically wanted to cover her mouth, but her voice still leaked out: "Because I like you, I need you."

It was all because of that wretched skill of Dong Ying's, and also because of her own wretched mouth.

After Lan Xi finished speaking, she felt extremely embarrassed and shy, thinking that she had lost face. She stubbornly continued: "After saying all this, I'm going to leave Earth!"

When one is in an awkward situation, there is no safer coping mechanism than thoroughly running away from Earth!

But Xie Cheng grabbed her.

"Lan Xi, I'm really happy and excited to hear you say these things," he said.

"Although after getting together, I was certain you also liked me, I had always felt very uneasy, not knowing how deep this liking of yours was, and also not knowing whether you could really understand human feelings on Earth..." Xie Cheng had a very serious expression, and his gaze was also very focused. "For a period of time, I would feel a little insecure, but thank you for telling me this, I feel much better now."

"It wasn't intentionally deceiving you that I frequently met with Dong Ying. It was because I wanted to understand you better through her, especially since I didn't know your birthday but really wanted to prepare a birthday party for you. Dong Ying said your birthday was coming up soon, so I wanted to give you a surprise."

"I couldn't participate in your past life, but I hope there will always be my shadow in your future."

So...

"So this party you prepared was for me?"

Then...Dong Ying had also deceived her. She had deliberately guided her to go to Jin Xiu Building, then gave Lan Xi a psychological suggestion to expect her to embarrass herself in front of Xie Cheng! Her wretched cousin who had come to Earth many years ago had clearly long understood the intricate schemes of Earth people!

Xie Cheng was a little awkward, but still nodded: "Dong Ying said that according to the calendar of Mu Yi Star, converted to Earth's calendar, it would be tomorrow. So I started preparing since tonight. The frequent meetings with her were also because each time she demanded that I treat her to a meal before she would tell me some of your preferences. However, she promised not to use any psychological suggestions on me, and she did keep her word. There was nothing unusual in our few meetings..."

"It was wrong of me to lie to you. I won't do it again in the future."

He felt somewhat embarrassed: "But a surprise birthday party would probably have..."

"It doesn't matter!"

Lan Xi was very happy instead: "Whether it's surprising or not is unimportant. Being able to prepare together with you makes me very happy already."

Dong Ying definitely hadn't expected that she thought Lan Xi confessing her true feelings to Xie Cheng would be embarrassing, yet people who truly like each other can accept all of you as you are.

And Lan Xi had never known that Xie Cheng was also insecure before.

Was it because of the disparity in status and identity between her and him? Was it because Lan Xi was a princess?

However, when faced with Lan Xi's question, Xie Cheng shook his head.

He looked at Lan Xi, then shifted his gaze away, pursed his lips: "Previously at your mixer, Wang Zhiqiang said that you were different from them. Your goal was to conquer Earth and then complete your tempering before returning to your home planet. I don't know when you would have to go back. Besides, after all you are the princess of your planet, unlike Wang Zhiqiang who is an ordinary civilian. So you shoulder some of the planet's missions and would have to go back right..."

"Sometimes I would often worry that I could still see you in the morning, but by afternoon you might have run back to your own planet."

This was an issue that Lan Xi had considered before as well.

But...

"Who said I had already conquered Earth?" She unnaturally cleared her throat, "Although I did conquer you, I feel that the conquest isn't thorough enough. Firstly, we haven't slept together; secondly, we aren't married either. So just conquering you alone still requires a long-term plan of spending a lot more time; additionally, after conquering just one Earthling like you, there is still some distance to go on the road of conquering Earth. After all, to conquer Earth, I should first understand Earth. Since I haven't explored all the places on Earth or tasted all the delicacies of Earth, how can I brazenly say that I already have sufficient knowledge reserves to take the first step of conquering Earth?"

"Besides, the 2003 edition of the Expert-Compiled 'Earthling Conquest Guide' that we have is already ten Earth years behind, with so many mistakes. As a princess, shouldn't I shoulder the responsibility of correcting and revising it? Only then would it be convenient for our other tribesmen who come to Earth later to integrate themselves and conquer Earth."

"As for my identity as a princess, I've said it before too. Reproduction on Mu Yi Star isn't the same as Earth. Other than me, Mu Yi Star has nearly a hundred other princesses. Losing me wouldn't matter much, Mu Yi Star civilization would still function as per normal. But for you, there is only me as a princess. Losing me might cause your life to collapse."

Lan Xi discovered that as she spoke, Xie Cheng's eyes became brighter and brighter, first moved, then gentle.

Lan Xi gazed into his eyes like this: "Besides, I've discovered now that the methods of conquest described in the 'Earthling Conquest Guide' aren't necessarily right. The true conquest of a planet isn't through military rule, but bloodless surrender.

Xie Cheng became interested: "So how do you plan to get bloodless surrender?"

"That is, fuse our genes on Mu Yi Star with Earthlings, passing them down through the generations, ultimately completing the multiplication and integration of the people of Mu Yi Star on Earth. This would be true conquest."

These were Lan Xi's truest feelings—

"I had previously felt that a princess should be strong at all times, not fragile. My combat power had always been my strength, and was also what I relied too much on. But perhaps military conquest isn't that omnipotent; a princess doesn't necessarily have to be strong, right?"

Xie Cheng hugged her.

He kissed Lan Xi's ear: "That's right, a princess can also occasionally be fragile, insecure, jealous, upset, because liking someone brings a person all sorts of experiences. You can also have these occasional negative emotions, but remember that you still have me. When you are by my side, you don't need to always be tough and strong. You can also be fragile because I will be your knight, protecting my princess all the way."

"This is because if the amount you like me is the distance from Earth to Mu Yi Star, then my feelings for you would be that distance of Earth to Mu Yi Star, then circling back from Mu Yi Star to Earth again."

"All of my time, body, gaze, smile, everything belongs only to you."

"You might not have completely conquered Earth yet, but you have indeed completely conquered me."

As Lan Xi looked into Xie Cheng's eyes, she felt they were more beautiful than any nebula she had seen during interstellar travel.

She finally stopped being so insecure, because she was certain that the Earthling before her eyes belonged to her, and only to her.