The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Lan Xi finished her shower, drank some hot milk, and felt comfortable and lazy all over. Then her set alarm clock rang.

It was time to learn the methods and postures of sleeping from Xie Cheng as the people on Earth do!

Unfortunately, when Lan Xi rushed to find Xie Cheng excitedly, the other party solemnly handed her a high school physiology textbook.

Xie Cheng had also just taken a shower and was still wearing a bathrobe. His hair was fluffy and his cheeks were slightly flushed, but his tone was serious and unquestionable:

"You need to study this book thoroughly from beginning to end first."

Lan Xi was very disappointed. "Can't you teach me directly? Doesn't practice make perfect?"

Xie Cheng looked a little awkward, and the redness on his face seemed to be more noticeable: "Your foundation is too poor. At least lay some theoretical foundation first, otherwise one-on-one teaching won't work either."

"Also, one-on-one teaching is not possible tonight because I have work to do."

"What work?"

"Dealing with the previous rumors about you and me," Xie Cheng answered. And that was indeed his plan.

Lan Xi's identity was special. Now was not the time for too much media exposure and attention. He had to deal with it as soon as possible. Ordinary legal proceedings took quite some time. By the time he was done suing and processing everything, it would be at least half a year later at the earliest. If some nosy media kept eyeing Lan Xi during that time...

Xie Cheng didn't dare to think further. He turned on his computer and searched using the keyword "Lan Xi".

His legal team was quite efficient. Some small online media accounts that were just trying to stir things up had already deleted their reposts. What remained were those who took Xie Jing's money but stubbornly refused to delete.

Xie Cheng was going to check the current popularity and public opinion trends but was shocked after opening those rumormongering posts.

Public opinion had completely turned!

"I know this girl. I've even gone out to play with her. Seeing this, I can't help but speak up to defend her - it's not possible for any man to forcibly do anything to her, because ordinary men simply can't overpower her. So stop spreading ridiculous rumors. It's more likely that she forcibly took advantage of the man!" The post was from an anonymous account. Originally, it did not draw much attention until Xie Jing's paid trolls tried to stamp out such nonconformist speech.

Instead of shutting the original poster up, it triggered their spite and defiance. Soon, they uploaded a clip from a car's surveillance camera.

Xie Cheng clicked open the video and found Lan Xi walking casually and calmly to the front of the car. She then easily punched and sent flying several youths on motorcycles who looked like hooligans...

Further down, the poster also presented medical records as proof that the scene in the video was not staged:

"These people were all beaten up by her! This time I'm truly outraged. Sometimes as men, we are also very helpless and pitiful. You women are always chattering about ‘girls help girls’. Well, I also want to serve justice today - ‘boys help boys’. Let me say something fair for Xie Cheng!"

"There's simply no way that Xie Cheng forcibly did anything to her as claimed in the news. Look at the video and judge for yourselves with a clear conscience - she's got the power of a god! No way an average Xie Cheng could overpower her! Rumors are too damaging. They can effortlessly ruin someone!"

The one presenting evidence and arguing passionately was, of course, Wei Yijun. After his awkward loyalty test experience last time, he did receive a red envelope from Wan Yan but it was far from enough to cover the medical expenses of the extras... Their injuries were much more severe than he had imagined.

In the end, not only did Wei Yijun suffer, but he also lost money - paying the medical bills on top of it all. After the extras recovered, they spread rumors everywhere. Through the game of telephone, the story became distorted. Eventually, no one knew how, but it turned into "Wei Yijun offended some famous underworld enforcer. Anyone around him would get caught in the crossfire and suffer vicious beatdowns." At first, Wei Yijun scoffed at it but soon the rumors grew fiercer. For safety reasons, no one dared to hire him for acting or extra gigs anymore...

Destitute Wei Yijun happened to see the news about Xie Cheng and Lan Xi when he was bored and surfing the web at home.

It's this Lan Xi! It was just a rumor! And it made him end up like this!

At that moment, Wei Yijun instantly put himself in Xie Cheng's shoes. Isn't this just an innocent, pitiful man, as vulnerable as himself, about to be dragged into the abyss by a dark rumor!

Wei Yijun was immediately filled with a sense of justice. At the same time, he finally thought of a way to turn his situation around!

The Xie Cheng and Lan Xi incident was so hot right now. Why not take this opportunity to stand up and clarify things for Xie Cheng? It would establish his image as someone who stands up for justice. He could also ride the hype wave for some exposure. When various media outlets come knocking for interviews, he could clarify what really happened with his own incident back then. It would refresh his public image, clear up the damaging rumors affecting his job prospects, and kill two birds with one stone!

Simply perfect!

...

Before this video and medical record exposure, public opinion was almost entirely condemnatory of Xie Cheng as an immoral perpetrator. But after their release, the tone began to shift:

"Holy cr*p! Is this a human or a weapon? She's a god!"

"Seeing the video, I thought it was some silly CGI short skit. But after the medical records, the silence is deafening."

"With strength like that, I suspect the man couldn't forcibly assault her even if he tried. But she could easily force herself onto any man. I suspect Xie Cheng is the real victim here, cruelly ravaged and taken advantage of..."

"UFC and other fight promotions need to recruit this talent ASAP!"

...

The previously one-sided barrage of attacks against Xie Cheng mysteriously dissipated into a comedic atmosphere instead.

Among them were also clarifications from Xie Cheng's employees:

"This girl is new at our company. She really is very strong. At the new employee team-building head-flicking game earlier, she flicked our boss Xie into getting hospitalized for a concussion! She's very smart and did not get in through any preferential policies. Her resume is outstanding and she has all sorts of certifications! Her data analysis skills are terrifying - on par with computers!"

...

To Xie Cheng's surprise, under the corroboration of all the evidence and testimonies, what was originally imagined to be a public firestorm was somehow mysteriously quelled.

But this video of her sending a man flying with one punch... Although he knew Lan Xi was strong, facing such a scene again, Xie Cheng still couldn't help sinking into contemplative silence.

Just then, Lan Xi curiously leaned over to take a look too and revealed an astonished expression: "Oh? They even filmed that?"

Xie Cheng glanced at her, still unable to restrain himself: "When did this happen?"

"That time, when that man said I was sick." Lan Xi looked very angry. "I clearly hit those people to protect him. How could he be like that!"

"So what exactly happened that time?"

Since Xie Cheng asked, Lan Xi couldn't help spilling the beans and recounted every detail of the whole incident from beginning to end. She was still furious recalling it now: "Wei Yijun is a bad person. He set up the tent himself, took off his clothes, and asked me to take off a piece of clothing too, then invited me into the tent to stay together. I had to threaten him with force before he finally stopped pestering me. What kind of person is he!"

"..." Xie Cheng finally pieced together the cause and effect but still clung to a thread of hope, "He only scolded you as sick after that?"

"Yeah!"

Ever since finding out Lan Xi was an alien, Xie Cheng naturally knew his previous conjectures about her were wrong. But he didn't expect he had been so preposterously off the mark.

What weak, helpless victim... With Lan Xi, it would be lucky if she didn't end up as the perpetrator herself... He really couldn't let his guard down for even a moment, otherwise who knows what kind of outlaw this princess could become one day...

"Fortunately, he knew better than to push it, otherwise I would have definitely punched him," Lan Xi still seemed upset, she glanced at Xie Cheng and grumbled, "He's not like you, I wouldn't have gone easy on him."

With just that one sentence, Xie Cheng didn't have any more thoughts.

That's right, if it wasn't for Lan Xi's super powerful combat ability, who knows how long it would have taken to quell the rumors through legal means. Not to mention that dispelling rumors is always harder than spreading them. Taking advantage of the event's peak attention to eliminate the negative impact, what could be better than this?

Xie Cheng contacted the lawyers to coordinate the follow-up evidence collection and cleanup work, then prepared to devote himself wholeheartedly to the launch of the weather system.

Today, he received notice that his software copyright application was approved.

The weather software he had painstakingly developed was finally nearing its ultimate launch, the countdown could begin. f𝚛𝚎𝗲we𝗯𝗻ovel.𝐜om

And it was also time to start closing the net.

**

Xie Jing had been sleeping poorly recently, agitated.

Step by step, he began to encircle Xie Cheng.

As expected, with the shocking spread of Lan Xi’s eye-catching photos, plus the oil-pouring vinegar-stirring chaos written by internet water armies, Xie Cheng's "scandal" fermented at lightning speed. Although Xie Cheng’s team of lawyers immediately sprang into action, how could negative impacts be eliminated so quickly?

The next morning when Xie Jing got up and routinely took out his phone to see what Xie Cheng had been scolded into online, he found that the tide had completely turned overnight.

A no-name web drama actor called Wei Yijun released a video showing Lan Xi effortlessly fighting several burly men. With all kinds of supporting evidence, he yelled hoarsely to defend Xie Cheng's innocence. That bizarre video, after being identified by multiple netizens, was indeed not an edit with special effects. It immediately attracted the attention of public opinion and shifted the direction of the whole event.

After gaining attention, this little actor swiftly accepted media interviews. Departing thousands of miles from the topic, he directly switched from Xie Cheng and Lan Xi’s matter to society’s stereotypes about men and the unreasonable presumption of guilt against men. He tearfully recounted the devastating blow rumors had dealt to his career previously. Relying on this, the little actor transformed overnight from an unknown bit player into a righteous spokesperson for men’s issues. As a result, the actor gained nearly a hundred thousand new followers overnight and was already preparing to start livestreaming and selling merchandise the next day...

In Xie Jing’s original plan, he would first vilify Xie Cheng’s image around gender relations as groundwork, then besmirch his reputation. Next, after Xie Cheng finally obtained the weather software developed by Chenxin, Xie Jing would make some tweaks before sneakily launching it ahead of schedule. That way, not only would he seize the first-mover advantage, even if Xie Cheng came to defend his rights afterwards, with his then weakened public opinion base, there likely wouldn’t be many people who believed and supported him anyway.

Xie Jing had spent quite a lot hiring internet armies to manufacture momentum this time. For things to suddenly change like this now was beyond his expectations. However, although resentful, the key was still in seizing the first launch of the weather software.

Today was his day to close the net on Xie Cheng.

Xie Jing felt rather proud and couldn’t help glancing at his watch again. The appointed time to meet Wan Yan was approaching.

Right on time half an hour later, Wan Yan arrived as promised, bringing a portable hard drive that made Xie Jing breathe a sigh of relief. He felt a sense of finality.

"So this contains all the source code for the weather software?"

Wan Yan nodded. "Yes."

She looked at Xie Jing, "So President Xie must remember what you previously promised me. I took such a big risk to help you steal the source code from Chenxin, you were the one who told me to do it!"

Usually Wan Yan wasn’t this polite and reserved with him. Although surprised, Xie Jing also felt it made sense. After all, now that he had obtained this source code, it was like grasping the password to future wealth. Of course Wan Yan would be so respectful of him now. It showed the girl had insight!

But Xie Jing hadn’t noticed her being so long-winded before. At such a young age it seemed her memory wasn’t that good. She had looked quite smart previously, yet kept repeatedly confirming the treatment and promises Xie Jing had made to her after letting her steal the source code. Xie Jing endured and answered her questions. Then she started asking how Xie Jing would use the source code.

Considering her admirable efforts this time, Xie Jing still answered some questions. But he soon grew impatient and resorted to cajoling and deceiving her, "You don't need to worry about these things. Pursuing a career is a man's business. As a girl, it's better to pursue stable happiness. After I launch this software and Xie Cheng is struggling desperately, you should go get some SPA treatments, put on makeup, buy new clothes, then it'll be time to appear by Xie Cheng's side to comfort him."

"Just being a pretty girl is good enough," elated, Xie Jing couldn't help but speak his mind. "Look at you working so hard for Xie Cheng, what good could come of it? He doesn't even glance your way!"

Wan Yan didn't speak, only smiled meaningfully at him.

The smile was very meaningful, but immersed in the ecstasy of obtaining the source code, Xie Jing was utterly oblivious. By the time he realized the source code Wan Yan had given him on the portable drive was only gibberish, and public security officers had arrived at the company's door to investigate and collect evidence, it was already too late.

"We received a report with audio evidence suggesting you are suspected of stealing trade secrets from another company. Please come back with us to assist in the investigation."

"......"

Xie Jing was dumbfounded.

He had been calling Wan Yan, on the verge of blowing up to interrogate her about why the portable hard drive only contained gibberish. The previously unanswered call finally connected after the public security officers arrived.

Lowering his voice, Xie Jing asked almost wretchedly, "The police are here, what's going on? What you gave me wasn't what I wanted either!"

Even now, Xie Jing finally sensed something amiss. He sinisterly whispered, "Don't forget, you're the one who gave me the stuff. We're grasshoppers on the same boat."

But unlike Xie Jing’s loss of composure, Wan Yan’s voice remained extremely calm on the other end of the phone.

"President Xie, there's one thing I may need to remind you—we were never grasshoppers on the same boat."

Together with her problematic hard drive, even a fool could guess what was going on from Wan Yan’s words. Xie Jing was practically wild-eyed with fury—

"You set me up for Xie Cheng? No wonder you asked so much, so you were trying to trap me and record our conversation! You want to be his dog that badly? Once he succeeds he'll have Lan Xi by his side, do you really think he'll even glance your way? He's just using you!"

"For Xie Cheng?" Wan Yan actually laughed openly for the first time. "Why does it have to be for Xie Cheng? Isn't stealing company secrets a major criminal violation? Why would I, a young woman with good grades and looks and a bright future, take such risks to violate the law and commit a crime for a single man like Xie Cheng that would ruin my prospects?"

"I really like Xie Cheng, I was unhappy he didn’t like me back. But that feeling will pass, I’ll get over it. But if I had really stolen trade secrets, that criminal record would follow me for life!"

Wan Yan adjusted her emotions, articulating fluently, "I’m not collaborating with you simply for my own sake. Whether he looks my way more or less right now isn’t what I care most about. What I care most about is that after this matter, I'll get the promotion and raise he promised, and my dream of leading an independent team to build a new data analysis model will also be achieved."

"Besides, compared to you, Xie Cheng has better professional and management skills. The software’s future prospects are completely different depending on whether it launches under him or you. A good bird chooses a tree to nest in, of course I would choose to support him."

"Girls aren't as foolish as you think, nor as short-sighted. On the contrary, aren’t you men always overestimating your own importance, mistakenly believing that a bit of affection could sway every girl’s life decisions? Lost love can be found again; missed opportunities for career takeoff and making money may be gone for life!"

"Uncle Xie, you still ought to reflect and mend your ways!"

Having said her piece, Wan Yan swiftly hung up, leaving Xie Jing to gape in dismay at the irredeemable conclusion before him.

At this moment, Xie Jing finally had a feeling that the greater trends had passed.

Xie Cheng received the news at the first moment that Xie Jing had been taken away by the public security authorities for investigation.

A few days ago, Wan Yan had found him and told him about Xie Jing's plan. Although Xie Cheng was also psychologically prepared for this, he did not expect that Xie Jing would actually want to take advantage of Wan Yan.

"I asked him that since he wanted me to come, other eyeliners should not interfere, and he had to tell me who the other eyeliners were, so that I would not hurt 'his own people' by mistake."

Xie Cheng still remembered that Wan Yan was calm, methodical, and then casually threw out a list: "This is the list of all Xie Jing's eyeliners in Xie Cheng's new company. It's just right that Xie Cheng's personnel can have some changes and updates."

Wan Yan's work ability had always been good, but this time her calmness and thunderous methods also made Xie Cheng look at her with new eyes.

Xie Cheng urgently convened an internal meeting of Xie Cheng's new company, and finally checked and eliminated all potential risk factors, and finally made the weather forecasting software system that he had been studying hard since he started his business officially launched as scheduled.

Within 24 hours after the launch, the number of downloads and uses of the software had exceeded 100,000 times, and the data was steadily climbing in an orderly manner. The phones calls from cooperating parties and investors to Xie Cheng were also endless.

Xie Cheng was almost unconsciously aware that he finally had a sense of accomplishment after enduring humiliation for many years.

With Lan Xi’s help in debugging, Xie Cheng further improved the weather software before going online. Therefore, today's weather forecasts are also much more accurate than during the trial run.

The previous rumors about Xie Cheng and Lan Xi have now also been dealt with seven or eight points. Security and privacy have also been strengthened at the door of the employee dormitory, and Lan Xi can return to the dormitory.

Although Xie Cheng naturally wanted to stay with his newly promoted princess girlfriend, the other party didn't learn much knowledge and was lazy, asking Xie Cheng to make an exception to teach her the corresponding sleeping postures first every day. Even with Xie Cheng’s self-control, he was afraid of staying by the riverside for too long and getting his feet wet.

"You should go back to the employee dormitory first." After thinking twice, Xie Cheng made a decision, "After all, you are still a company employee. Living with me directly will inevitably lead to some strange rumors again, which is unfair to you."

Although Lan Xi liked her employee dormitory very much, Xie Cheng’s big villa was better after all, not to mention there was Xie Cheng who could cook.

Therefore, until she got into Xie Cheng's car, Lan Xi was still very reluctant, and asked again and again, "The room facing south on the second floor, you promised to keep it for me! You can't give it to someone else!"

Xie Cheng felt helpless and amused. Finally, he couldn't help but pinch Lan Xi's nose: "I know, my princess."

After getting a definite answer, Lan Xi sat down happily and behaved. Then she looked at the still clear and cloudless sky at the moment.

"It's going to rain heavily."

Almost as soon as she finished speaking, the weather system software in Xie Cheng's phone also gave a prompt for heavy rain.

Halfway through the drive, as expected, the sky darkened suddenly shortly afterwards, and a heavy rain came as scheduled.

"So is predicting the weather also one of your abilities?"

"Well." Lan Xi nodded, "I'm a little more sensitive than Earth people to subtle changes in weather, such as changes in humidity and temperature in the air." "I thought it was a useless ability at first, but it turned out not to be the case after I came to Earth."

"Just like the system you developed, it can now predict the weather in advance, and more and more accurately, so as to avoid many losses in the future."

Lan Xi's eyes were bright. There was constant rain outside the car, but Xie Cheng felt calm, peaceful and warm inside the car.

Lan Xi just lay there on the passenger seat, watching the rain outside the window, then drew a planet on the fog that was gradually condensing on the window, and then drew the Earth next to it.

She whispered to herself, "Xie Cheng, unfortunately I didn't crash-land on Earth earlier, otherwise could I have saved your parents?"

Lan Xi didn't know how to pretend. All her words were very direct. Sometimes the things she asked were very childish and the suggestions she made were very unrealistic, but what she said always came from the heart.

Perhaps there was no hypocrisy or deception in the culture of her planet at all.

"But in the Mu Yi Star civilization, death does not really disappear, but transforms into another form. Your father and mother may have become the first cherry blossom to bloom gorgeously in spring, or the sweetest watermelon in summer, the first fallen leaf in autumn, or the first snow in winter, or even the heavy rain in front of us now."

"They didn't leave, but existed in another way, surrounding you, loving you, and accompanying you forever and ever in another form."

"So don't be sad anymore in the future."

Lan Xi's voice was soft but firm: "I will accompany you too."

There are no ifs in life, no possibility of traveling through time and space, nothing can be redone. Xie Cheng’s parents had been gone for many years, and he still couldn’t truly let go.

The young Xie Cheng who lost his parents when he was young had secretly sworn in many lonely nights that he would definitely develop a weather forecasting system that could forecast the weather more accurately and comprehensively, as if only by doing so could he save his helpless past self in the face of his parents' accident and relieve the self-blame and sadness in his heart.

However, at this moment, on the same day when this teenage dream finally came true, on the day when the accuracy of the weather software finally reached his goal, in a downpour that had always made Xie Cheng irritable, as he looked at Lan Xi beside him, he suddenly felt that the stimulation finally reconciled with his teenage self at this moment.

He finally did what he could do, and for the first time he was willing to face his parents' departure and no longer evade rainy weather.

Perhaps Lan Xi was right at all. The universe is so big with an alien princess sitting next to him. Perhaps everything is possible. Who knows if the deceased loved ones are not accompanying us on the left and right in another way?

Rather than cherishing the past, why not focus on the present?

When they finally arrived downstairs at the dormitory building, Xie Cheng stopped the car and took Lan Xi's hand, staring into her eyes—

"Lan Xi, I like you."

Xie Cheng heard himself open his mouth with a nervous but firm voice.

"To express this fondness, I want to kiss you and then hug you."

Xie Cheng leaned down. He felt the hot breath on Lan Xi's face. He moved closer to her ear, gently hugged her, "So this is our first kiss now."

He kissed her.

In this kiss, Xie Cheng's rainy season in his heart finally ended as well.