Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Hmm, switched most of the introspective text to dialogue for more immediacy and drama

Also, sorry for only posting one chapter. CNY is a busy week… a lot of cleaning, weeding and organisation to do…

At Jorgen, Verde and Radomir’s very serious ‘Do you have any alcohol’ question, my mind blanked out a little.

“Huh?”

“You know, alcohol? The drink?”

“We make our own, but…”

“We have some wine that was made from local fruits, but the alcohol level is so weak that it can’t really be called alcohol.”

“It’s more like fruit wine?”

“Fruit juice, actually.”

“The wives liked it, though.”

“Wait, wait, are you saying that you want to drink alcohol? You’re asking for alcoholic drinks? From me?” I tried to clarify. However, the High Elves were not listening to me, they were already in their own little world, reminiscing about all the drinks they had had in human cities.

“The ale from that town… I can still taste it…”

“Fruit wines from cities are so much richer and mellower. It’s sweet yet strong~”

“Even the regular honey mead from cheap taverns has more punch than the fermented fruit juices we make…”

Well, I guess even in this other world, you can’t beat professionals in their job… wait, does fermenting wine and other alcoholic drinks fall under ‘cooking’ which made it difficult for these High Elves to make?

Goodness, I guess some things don’t improve even with hundreds of years of experience, huh?

“We stocked up on a lot of alcohol and food when we left the cities, but…”

“After living here for hundreds of years, it’s all gone now!”

“We tried to make our own wines, but… I swear, fruit juices left out in the sun had more alcoholic content than the drinks we make!!”

“In short, you’re asking me for alcohol?” I said again.

“Pleasee~~~~”

Three exceptionally gorgeous young-looking men were staring at me with imploring eyes. If I had been a woman, or more specifically my sister, I’d probably be moved to the point that my eyes turned heart-shaped. However, as a man, I felt nothing but disgust as I shuffled backwards, away from their startlingly winsome gaze.

Who the heck asks you to look at me like this, huh?

Angrily, I stuck my hand into my [Item Box] and grabbed the case of cooking wine I had in hand for, you know, general cooking, and thumped the case in front of them. It was an unopened box of mixed cooking wines, three reds and three whites.

“Here,” I said with a grunt.

“Yay~!!!”

The High Elves seized the carton of cheap wine and tried to pay me with the skin of some unknown animal they had caught on the island. However, I refused to take it.

“Just do your best as my dismantling team,” I muttered, feeling a little guilty about taking the skin since it had to be from some rare and valuable creature. Also, the cooking wines were, like, only about 100 yen each, so my conscience could not make me take it.

All three of the High Elves looked extremely moved by my ‘generosity’, which made me feel even more guilty.

“Ahem, please drink in moderation,” I muttered.

“Yes! Thank you~!”

“Thanks!”

“We are truly grateful!”

The High Elves skipped off with the case of cheap wines. Well, to be fair, at least these wines came in bottles and not a box…

“Haahh… I’m exhausted…”

Unexpected side mission completed, I slunk off to lie down against Fer’s belly. His fur felt warm and comfortable…

“Delicious!”

Was that… my imagination?

The next morning, I was woken by Fer, Sui, Dora-chan and Grandpa Gon. All four were filled to the brim with energy and enthusiasm for the day ahead. It was way too early, but they were already up and crowing for breakfast.

“As soon as we’re done eating, let’s go get that Green Dragon!!”

“”Ou!!””

Augh… morning people are the worst.

I yawned as I stuck my hand into my [Item Box] with my familiars chanting ‘Hurry, hurry, hurry’ behind me. Fortunately, I still have some leftover cooked mince.

A closer inspection showed that it was the spicy Doubanjiang Soboro made with dungeon pork and beef mix. I like to mix pork and beef together when making minced because it gives the end product a good balance of flavour, fat and texture.

It was also pretty easy to make and practically foolproof.

To make this Doubanjiang Mince, or Doubanjiang Soboro, heat a bit of oil and fry the garlic until fragrant. Add the minced meat of your choice and fry until the meat is brown and crumbly. Then, add soy sauce, saké, sugar, doubanjiang and stir-fry until most of the liquid has evaporated and it’s done.

I had made loads of these emergency Soboro during my downtime just for these kinds of situations.

Now, all I had to do was scoop (read cooked and piping hot) rice into a bowl, heap the Doubanjiang Soboro onto the rice, crack a hot-spring egg (or many hot-spring eggs) and top it with some sesame seeds.

The Doubanjiang Soboro Bowl looked light enough as a normal breakfast, so I fixed a small one for myself (with one egg) along with some miso soup, pickles, and coffee on the side.

Speaking of which, while I was slowly putting my breakfast together, Fer and his friends already had two ‘seconds’. Well, their appetites were great today as well.

Finally, I settled down for my first bite.

Hmm, crushing the hot-spring egg added something like a sauce to the Soboro mince, giving it a lovely, creamy texture. Oh, the piping hot rice is just the thing. My first mouthful was mellow, rich and savoury at the same time.

Ahh, that’s the life.

I should put this Soboro set into my breakfast options…

Thump.

“Oh, good morning,” I called out to the High Elves who were just stumbling in, still rubbing their eyes sleepily. Looks like the stereotype of Elves being all fresh as a daisy in the morning isn’t quite the truth, eh?

Or maybe they were just hungover?

Oh, but the ladies also looked drowsy…

However, the moment these High Elves spotted my breakfasting familiars, their eyes suddenly sparkled with so much light that I had to look away. Ugh, the way they were staring at my personalised breakfast set was almost like a black hole.

It was as though they were trying to suck in my food with just their eyes alone… making it really hard to eat peacefully.

I had no choice but to say, “Would you like some-”

“YES!!”

All six of them immediately blushed and said something along the lines of ‘Oh no, we couldn’t’, but it was too late. Also, you were all drooling as you stared at my food.

Haahh… I guess I have no choice…

“It’s fine, I’ll prepare your breakfast,” I said as I turned around to put six breakfast sets together. While I could give them heaping bowls of rice and meat like animals, it… didn’t feel right.

Woah, the food’s disappearing at an amazing rate.

“Oi, seconds!”

“Master, seconds, please.”

“”Here too!””

“”Sui wants seconds too~~””

“Yes, yes…” I felt eyes pricking at my shoulders and looked to the side to see six empty bowls and six pairs of hopeful eyes. “Yes, yes, hand them over.”

I refilled all of their bowls. All 10 of them. That’s a lot.

As everyone dug into their food, I had to wonder if most Elves, including High Elves, are gluttons. What a blow to their image…

“Alright, time to go!”

“Hm?”

Fer was standing in front of me with very bright eyes. The rest were gathered behind him, staring at me with similar glittering eyes. There were pieces of rice and meat stuck around his mouth. I sighed and took a fortifying sip of my breakfast coffee.

[1]

“Take a break, you just ate,” I said.

“No need for that, let’s go-” Fer loomed forward, clearly about to throw me onto his back.

“Stop!” I said with my hand out. “We still haven’t collected the bowls and plates. Who’s going to wash them? Also, we have to put the futon away, don’t tell me we’re going to just leave everything like that. Huh? You call me ‘Master’ when you want something, but who do you think does all that, hhhaaaahhh???”

“Kuuhh—”

Fortunately for me, Fer still has some sense of shame.

“Sui! Clean those bowls and things. Dora-chan, you and I shall collect the blankets.”

“”Okay~~””

“”Ou!!””

“Oh, oh, we shall help too!” the High Elves cried, rushing over and making it even more difficult for everyone to work in that small space.

I took another sip of my coffee and stuffed more food into my mouth, chewing and swallowing before taking a sip of my miso soup. Finally, after much rushing about. There was a pile of clean cutleries in front of me, along with a stack of folded futon.

“Right, please take care of these for me, Sui,” I said as I set out my used cutleries for Sui. Then, I put away the futon and things.

Once everything was put away…

“Finally, we are going!!”

“I’m telling you now,” I said as I glared at Fer. “If you go too fast, I will vomit all over your back. So, keep that in mind when you run after that Green Dragon.”

“Kuuhh…”

Finally, I got onto Fer’s back with Sui and off we went. To hunt a Green Dragon.

[1]

“”Let’s take down that Green Dragon!!””

“”Sui will defeat Mister Dragon~~!!””

“Umu, time to go!”

“Let’s set out, Master.”

“Yeah, yeah,”

“Have a good trip~!” cried the High Elves.

Seriously, what happened to all that ‘human are suspicious’ attitude from before?

[Gumihou: Ah ha ha ha… a belligerent Mukouda is still better than a gyaaa–!! Mukouda, especially since we’re in the 500+ chapters now]

[1] I really can’t condone Mukouda being a slushy coward, so here’s him being a bit defiant.

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