You Boys Play Games Very Well

Chapter 30

The moment that Ling Meng’s voice went high-pitched, the atmosphere suddenly became tense.

As everyone knew in the Galaxy circle, Mang God was an amazing anchor who could play as the alien faction with a miraculous level of skill. Even those who didn’t follow live broadcasts would only need a few minutes on a social media site to discover this. Choosing to use this same faction against Mang God, was he an expert at this faction himself or was he confident he could beat his opponent using Mang God’s own specialty?

The initial development phase of the alien faction was long and tedious. Usually, the commentator would take this moment to introduce the players on both sides, but Ling Meng couldn’t think of anything to say during this period.

“There’s nothing much to introduce about either of these two players,” Ling Meng said helplessly. “Nili Mang God is certainly very familiar to you all. And as far as Guava is concerned, there’s very little information available. I had a fight with him and I was beaten badly. Including me, this small account has only played a total of 57 matches. I don’t think I need to say what the probability is of meeting a noob for 57 matches straight, let alone the fact that I myself don’t count as a noob.”

— Of course, how could you be a noob? You are Lemon Daddy!

— If Lemon Dad is a noob, then I can only be a bird’s egg.

— If Lemon Dad suffered a disastrous defeat against him, it’s possible this guy is in at least the top 10 of the national rankings, or even the top 5.

“Although my commentary should be neutral, I want to mention this in advance. First of all, we can only see Mang God’s perspective in this match, we can’t see the development of the opponent, and so we can only analyze the overall situation from Mang God’s perspective. Therefore, I can’t be neutral based on this alone.

“Secondly, I’m not a professional commentator. If there is any bias in the commentary, please don’t mind.”

— Why not mention the key reason? Isn’t your personal ♂ relationship with Mang God the most important factor of bias?

— There’s no need to explain so much if you want to be a Mang street guard, we all understand.

— There are two kinds of commentary: professional commentary and commentary by the player’s family members. The latter has the right to be biased. We support you!

“Mang God’s starting position is good with a natural geographical barrier and a slope as the only line of approach. It can be said that this will be easy to defend and difficult to attack. As long as this slope is held, it will be a struggle for Guava’s ground forces to attack.

“Now, Mang God’s mining station has been completed and the spy eye (alien scout) has been dispatched. The alien faction’s spy eye can’t be targeted and attacked, which is a unique advantage of the alien faction’s early stage.

“Well, we see that the opponent has also sent out a spy eye. The two spy eyes have met in the center of the map. Congratulations, you two can become a couple.”

A string of “hahahaha” drifted across the screen. Ling Meng had taken that opportunity to relax the tense mood, as he intended.

“Found the opponent, at Mang God’s 11 o’clock direction. The two sides are far apart and therefore can develop as much as possible.

“The development time of the aliens is really very long, unlike the Empire which can harass its opponents from the very beginning. That’s why I like to use the Empire.

“But the delayed effect of the aliens is quite horrifying, so I suggest that the Federation and Empire factions in the Three Kingdoms model should work together to suppress the aliens’ development in the early stage, otherwise they would deserve to be beaten in the later stage.”

— Yes, we especially can’t let the aliens dig too many mines in the early stage.

— Especially the mines of aliens who refuse to fight.

Shan Zhu loved the aliens’ small ground soldiers. This time he did not make a lot of lizards, but chose the smallest flea type with the quickest movements. This low-cost unit was a nightmare for directed attack missiles because they were difficult to target.

Thanks to the spy eye, the audience finally got a glimpse of the corner of Guava’s base. He hadn’t rushed to build the infrastructure or create troops. It seemed that he was hoarding resources to wait for more advanced units.

“Meng God sent out troops! Mang God sent this force very early, which is not in line with his usual style!

“His flea soldiers are divided onto three routes: going all the way to raid the mine, going all the way to harass the main line, and going all the way straight to Guava’s power station! This is a wonderful three-line operation that tests hand speed and responsiveness! Because it’s necessary to take into account the three directions at the same time, if your skill level isn’t enough, it’s very likely that you won’t be able to make it all the way.

“Guava reacts very quickly to move to defense. It’s obvious that he’s been through hundreds of matches; a man with only 57 matches of experience couldn’t do this.

“Mang God’s initial assault force has been completely annihilated, but he took Guava’s power station, which is a small profit for him. He’s now replenishing his troops. Guava isn’t willing to show weakness and won’t be outdone. He has upgraded the spy eyes and the spy eye has exploded! Both sides have suffered economic losses. Both sides have been defeated and wounded in this opening stage.”

Ling Meng swallowed his saliva and then continued his analysis: “As soon as both sides came up, they were in a tense standoff. It seems impossible for them to pass their developmental stage peacefully.”

Sure enough, as Ling Meng said, the two people launched mutual attacks on each other and both had to also defend. If you tear down my fort, I’ll destroy your barracks: the scene became this type of a stalemate for a time.

Twenty minutes into the match, Guava’s main combat units appeared on the battlefield.

“It’s a wyvern! It seems that Guava intends to focus on aerial operations. Considering the topographical features of Mang God’s home base, this is the correct decision.”

When Guava’s first wyverns arrived, Shan Zhu’s fleas couldn’t make ground-to-air attacks and so he had to sustain through the wave with only a single turret, resulting in heavy losses.

When the second batch of wyverns came over, Shan Zhu had bee soldiers ready and the wyverns were intercepted outside the base. The two flying units exchanged fire in the air: this was a competition between pure manipulation ability and hand speed.

“Mang God’s kiting is very excellent, taking full advantage of the rapid movement speed of the bee soldiers. The biggest strength of the bee soldiers is that they can fly backwards and shoot bee needles while flying, which can be very difficult to deal with.

(t/n: kiting – gaming term for attacking from a distance and running when the enemy approaches)

“Look at Guava again. Guava actually dodged by going over, it’s incredible! The characteristics of the wyverns dictate that their movement speed is relatively slow. Even if a small amount of them aren’t able to dodge, it doesn’t matter. The wyverns’ defense is very high, so this amount of damage can be ignored. But how Guava managed to dodge, that was really incredible.”

Over the next half hour, the two sides continued with the small skirmishes but neither launched a massive attack.

“Please don’t worry, master-level duels often don’t have a lot of activity in the first 30 minutes, and then in the 31st minute, you’ll find…huh? Is the match ending?”

Ling Meng suddenly picked up speed: “Mang God has to upgraded to the ultimate technology tree. He has started making ant queens! It takes eight minutes for the queen to get out of the nest. Whoever’s comes out first may decide the outcome of the match!”

Just then, a sound blared and the game interface shook a few times. Ling Meng stared at the screen along with the entire audience, tongue-tied.

“Guava used a nuclear bomb on Mang God’s ant nest? This incredible precision reminds me of the time when I was betting with Mang God and he blindly bombed my base.

“Mang God’s disadvantage is very obvious now. Will he spend another fifteen minutes rebuilding the ant nest or will he choose other strategy? …What’s he doing? Good heavens!”

They could see Shan Zhu selecting a few markers in the opponent’s area and calculating the center point. He launched a nuclear bomb in return and the system immediately prompted that the enemy ant colony had been immediately destroyed.

“A good way to do it is to return the compliment!” Ling Meng shouted excitedly. “Now we know how they locked on to each other’s position! They recorded the coordinates of the basic buildings in their early stage explorations. The ant nest covers an area of ??up to sixteen units, so only a few places can accommodate it. Therefore to analyze which location the opponent will select in the end, it seems that they relied on more than just luck!

“Now that the two sides are equalized again, will they continue to develop at the same rate?

“Mang God sent out troops! It seems that he gave up on the ultimate weapon and plans to use his existing army to force a prompt decision in battle!

“Guava’s wyvern regiment has arrived at the battlefield. The two didn’t play in the mid-field; they both tacitly avoided each other and went straight to other’s base!”

On the screen, Mang God’s and Guava’s regiments each pushed forward, leveling their opponent’s buildings to the ground, and they almost simultaneously attacked the other’s base.

The game entered a fever state; both bases were being attacked at the same time and no one put forth a defense. Both sides were gambling on victory.

“Now both sides have given up on defense and are just attacking the opponent’s base at the same time! Whoever takes the lead to beating the base health to zero will win the final victory! This kind of simple and crude fight to the death is rare!”

Ling Meng nervously leaned up out of his chair, just to see more clearly: “The health on both sides is basically the same, both at around 75%, 70%, 65%…

“Mang God is a little ahead. Although his fleas and bee soldiers are basic units, they are in large numbers and their attack speed is very fast! Especially when he upgrades the attack speed, the attack speed can reach 2.5 times that of the wyvern, which makes up for the lack of attack power!

“The offense and defense of Guava’s wyvern regiment is very balanced, plus there’s a bonus of fire attributes! The fire attribute will cause buildings to persistently lose health. It’s hard to say which side is fighting faster right now! … Mang God has taken the lead in knocking down 50% of the health! By visual estimation, Guava has about 55% left and Mang God’s DPS is obviously slightly better!

“Wait a minute!” Ling Meng’s butt left the stool. “Guava started using the wyverns’ special skill to condense time and space! Mang God’s forces have significantly slowed down due to this skill! Time-space condensation will reduce an opponent’s attack speed by 75% for a full 3 seconds. Even one second at this critical moment may turn the tide of this battle!”

Ling Meng was little irritable. “Because we only have Mang God’s perspective, we can’t see the opponent’s technology tree and skill cooldowns, so I don’t know how many cards are still in his hand. The audience and commentator can only rely on guesses as the players do! Since he put points into the time-space condensation skill, there won’t be any use of the space-time reversal skill. Otherwise the base health would be even more troublesome! But after the slowdown effect just now, Mang God has fallen behind!

“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Ling Meng roared in excitement, “Mang God has activated the hive laser beam! What does he want to do? It’s too far away! Too far away! It’s too difficult to hit a target such a distance!

“…… target! He hit the target! Hit the target for 8 full seconds! It didn’t deviate by even an iota! Just that one shot is enough to be included in the Galaxy Top Ten Moments of the Year! Truly worthy of being called the walking calculator, he’s too accurate!”

The health on both sides fell under 10% at the same time, with a constantly flashing red alarm that made everyone watching feel anxious. Ling Meng was itching to go into battle himself.

“The last 5%! Does Guava still have space-time condensation? No! He has no more big moves!

“Mang God has used an acceleration skill! He actually saved an acceleration skill for this moment! Mang God once again turns the tide. Who will prevail in this match between alien factions!?”

Ling Meng clenched his fists, his eyes fixed on the health bar of Guava’s base, heartbeat in his throat. “Whether Mang God can end Guava’s 57 match win streak depends on this moment! As long as his current advantage is maintained, Mang God’s victory is in sight! Can Guava still turn this around? I’m afraid not!”

In the last five seconds, Ling Meng roared out: “And the last 3%! 2! 1! Mang God has exploded the opponent’s base first and successfully ended the 57 match win streak! Guava’s base exploded! Mang God won! ”

Ling Meng threw off his headset in excitement and got up on desk. He hugged the monitor and savagely kissed it: “Amazing!”

Please read at tailor31415.wordpress.com. Otherwise, you’re reading stolen material.

Chapter 31

[System] After a fierce battle, the Alien Rebels won the final victory!

[Alien Rebels] Mangosteen: GG

[Alien Reinforcements] Guava: GG

Ling Meng reached to the side and picked his headset back up. His racing heart had not yet calmed and he wasn’t satisfied seeing such a painless conclusion.

“What kind of GG, ah? At this time, we should say, ‘You’ve grown up very strong, but Daddy is still Daddy’.”

— Even when he commentates, Lemon Daddy is still Lemon Daddy.

— Those kinds of words have to wait until you and Mang God are sharing intimacies.

— Lemon Dad’s commentary – super pumped up! I leapt to my feet in the last few seconds!

— Can I say at the end when Lemon Dad kissed the monitor, I also kissed my cat hard at the same time 2333 Now I have a mouthful of hair

— You should kiss the monitor and the cat, isn’t that equivalent to kissing Lemon Dad across the screen?

— Are you silly, wherever my household’s Lemon Dad was kissing on the monitor, obviously he was kissing Mang God. Based on Lemon Dad’s screen, I’d wager the kiss of that mouth landed on Mang God’s face.

With regard to all the over-interpretation in the barrage, Ling Meng had already long ago been ready to ignore the words of those people. His voice was hoarse so he guzzled 500ml of water in one breath.

On the screen, the summary screen ended and the two people return to the room. Shan Zhu was ready to offer some modest words in concession, but he saw a line appear on the screen.

[Room] Guava: Do you want to play pro?

[Room] Mangosteen: Sorry, not considering that right now. freℯ𝓌e𝚋𝐧𝘰vℯl.𝐜𝚘𝗺

[Room] Guava: Okay.

[System] Guava exited the room.

Throughout the game, the situation on the battlefield was fierce, there was a stalemate, then the situation climaxed repeatedly, the final conclusion was hair-raising, and finally the end of the show came unimaginably swiftly. In the end, the mysterious Guava was still taciturn and cold, leaving everyone with only a silhouette of a thoroughly beaten man as he made his exit.

Ling Meng was a little surprised. It turned out Guava really was a pro. Shan Zhu had won against a pro. Although he wasn’t the one who fought, Ling Meng felt that he could go brag about this for a whole year.

“Everyone must be tired after watching such a fierce match, so let’s have an early rest. I’m turning the broadcast off. Bye-bye.”

Ling Meng quickly shut down the live broadcast after that, leaving a group of water friends who had yet to fully express themselves staring the dark broadcast screen.

— Who said we’re tired? We can still watch three hundred more matches.

— I thought that since Mang God won the match, Lemon Daddy could at least sing a song.

— Anchor? Hello? Anchor, are you there?

Chapter 32

Shan Zhu was answering some questions about the night’s match when the dormitory room door was quietly pushed open and a small head popped in.

Shan Zhu: …

Ling Meng silently pointed to the computer and Shan Zhu understood.

“That’s all for tonight. If I have time tomorrow, I’ll do a re-watch.”

— What’s going on, Lemon Dad just came to Mang God after ending his broadcast? Did you plan to elope together?

— What will I do without the streams of Mang God and Lemon Dad tonight.

— The scent of something fishy comes across the line.

“Ending the broadcast. Good night, everyone.”

Shan Zhu shut down the live broadcasting software and looked up at Ling Meng, asking: “Why’d you come over?”

Ling Meng had suddenly just been excited to come over and see him, but he said, “Nothing, I wanted to congratulate you in person.”

“It was just a friendly training match. Look at all of you treating this like the World Cup finals.”

“It was at the same level as the World Cup finals.”

Ling Li grabbed a seat and sat down next to the computer. For the first time, Ling Meng had come to Shan Zhu’s room. The other’s mouse and keyboard were a professional-level configuration.

“Speaking of, I haven’t seen your commentary yet. What are they talking about…Lemon Dad’s kiss? What’s that?”

“Nothing!” Ling Meng hurriedly clarified, “There’s nothing interesting to look at, don’t watch. Nothing to see but you fighting well.”

Shan Zhu saw no need to rush. There must be videos of tonight’s match. They were probably still compressing and uploading right now; they would be available by tomorrow at the latest.

“Why don’t you go pro?” Ling Meng asked.

“It’s very hard to play a pro. I’d have to practice for more than ten hours every day. I just want to play the game as a hobby… Do you want me to go pro?”

“It’s not that, it’s just a pity. As an amateur just having fun, you beat someone who practices more than ten hours a day.”

“One match alone doesn’t say much. Professional players sometimes fail and amateur players sometimes play beyond their skill level.”

Ling Meng nodded his agreement in Shan Zhu’s words.

Looking at Ling Meng like this, Shan Zhu’s thoughts suddenly twisted.

“Actually, I can’t play pro.” His eyes drooped slightly, making him look as if he was feeling a sense of loss.

Not wanting to play and not being able to play were two completely different things. Ling Meng urgently questioned: “Why?”

“I have chronic tenosynovitis. It hurts to hold the mouse for too long.” Shan Zhu raised the right hand, with his five fingers lightly folded, “This match just now was a bit too tense and now my hand is a little stiff and it can’t move.”

Ling Meng listened anxiously: “What can I do?”

“It’s not a big problem. It’ll automatically recover if I calm down.”

“Is there no cure?”

“Only through physical therapy, a little rubbing would make it feel better.” Shan Zhu said this with a straight face.

Still, massaging was not a simple matter. Ling Meng willingly grabbed Shan Zhu’s right hand: “I’ll help you.”

“Is it here?” He referred to the spot where he, who often held a mouse, would usually feel an uncomfortable ache.

“Just a bit more towards the side, use your thumb to rub counterclockwise, yes, that’s it.”

Ling Meng did, seeing Shan Zhu’s brow wrinkle. “Is it painful? Take it easy.”

“It hurts when you rub it. Just keep rubbing like that.”

“What kind of inflammation did you say, is it the so-called ‘mouse hand’?” Ling Meng lowered his head and worked hard, “Sometimes I get it when I play for a long time.”

“Then I’ll rub it for you later.”

“I don’t feel any pain right now.”

Shan Zhu’s plan was in vain, it was a bit of a pity.

Ling Meng rubbed and kneaded distractedly, raised Shan Zhu’s hands and looking at the left and the right.

As a matter of fact, Shan Zhu’s hands had ten slender fingers, sharply contoured knuckles, and neatly trimmed and rounded nails. A single mole and scar couldn’t be found.

Unlike Ling Meng’s right hand tiger’s mouth where there were two permanent tooth marks, which he had chewed in when he was bored as a child.

Shan Zhu’s comment of “hand play year” suddenly came to mind. According to that standard, Shan Zhu’s hands and feet could inspire someone to play for three years. Imagining how such a slender finger can be quickly tapped on the keyboard, anyone who looked at it would find it pleasing.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing.”

Ling Meng touched the acupuncture point and pressed hard twice. He then released his hand. “Is it better now?”

Shan Zhu quit while he was ahead. He moved his hand and praised him: “Much better. With your skills, you could go to a pro team as a team doctor.”

“What skill is there,” Ling Meng said shyly. “It’s just ‘prolonged illness makes the patient into a doctor’.”

“Unfortunately, I still don’t know whose small account Guava is.” Ling Meng lamented.

“He’s very good. There aren’t many people in the country with that level of ability.” The implication was that as long as you’re diligent, you can find him out there sooner or later.

“I’m just blabbing. If he doesn’t want to be public, just let it go.” Ling Meng waved his hand. “It’s too late, I’ll go back.”

Shan Zhu swept his eyes to the clock. “There is still more than an hour before lights out. One more match?”

“Wasn’t your hand hurting? Still, better not, la, take a rest.”

“Then you fight and I’ll watch.”

“Here? Using your account number?” Ling Meng’s interest was piqued.

Chapter 33

Ten minutes later, a guy who didn’t know whether he was lucky or unlucky was randomly matched to Mangosteen for a casual match.

[Federation] GuestD: Mang God??

[Federation] GuestD: Wow, I got Mang God as a casual matchup, I’m so lucky!

Without them responding, GuestD could talk happily all on his own.

[Federation] GuestD: Just as legend has it, in the game, Mang God is so cold that he doesn’t like to talk!

Five minutes later:

[Federation] GuestD: Ah, Mang God, don’t tear down my fort, I just managed to build it.

[Federation] GuestD: Mang God, you’re developing so fast. How did you only need five minutes to use the atomic bombardment right in my face?

[Federation] GuestD: Killing a Mang God soldier, I feel like I can brag for a whole year.

After fifteen minutes:

[Federation] GuestD: I won’t vote to resign. It’s rare to go up against Mang God as a random match. I won’t vote even if the base is blown up.

Since he was asking for it, Ling Meng of course had to satisfy him and blew up the Federation base with one finger.

[Federation] GuestD: Wuwuwu, Mang God, you blew up my home base like this. There’s no love at all; you’re really ruthless!

The announcement of victory made Ling Meng incredibly pleased with himself and he forgot who he was supposed to be.

[System] After a fierce battle, the empire achieved the final victory!

[Empire] Mangosteen: This is Daddy’s Lesson Number One for you: people die from talking too much.

[Federation] GuestD:?????

—

Footnotes:

1. Nili: another Korean loan slang meaning “your (plural)” used for idols (as Wuli means “my”)

2. noob, bird’s egg: the term for noob is literally translated as “useless bird/penis” and the term for bird’s egg is literally translated “bird/penis egg”

3. station street (站街): term for police who stand guard along the street and also for street-walker prostitutes

4. 合体: to have a close/intimate relationship, joking euphemism meaning to have sex

5. 心中一凛: term commonly used in Wuxia novels, meaning surprised/secretly surprised with a little fear mixed in

6. baibai (拜拜): a kind of girly way to say goodbye, loan word from English obviously

7. mouse hand (鼠标手): carpal tunnel syndrome

8. tiger’s mouth (虎口): webbed skin between thumb and forefinger

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