I Don't Like The World, I Only Like You

001

I was suddenly hit by the idea of rearing a dog, and attempted to negotiate the issue with Mr. F. Mr. F took one glance at me before responding, “Don’t we already have a dog at home?”

I grit my teeth and bore the humiliation silently, “Can’t we rear another one then?”

“It’s enough that we are already housing a lazy glutton at present.”

Me: “……”

Undeterred, I continued, “Rearing dogs has many benefits! It helps to cultivate patience, so we can view it as training for the future rearing of our kids.”

“No way, I hate furry things.”

“But you owned a golden retriever when you were young!”

“It was my dad’s choice to rear that dog, I had no say in it.”

“Don’t you want me to go jogging with you? If you let me rear a dog I promise I’ll go jogging with you.”

After trying to persuade him for one entire month, he finally relented and agreed to let me rear a dog. As my friend had coincidentally picked up an abandoned a Schnauzer at that time, I decided to bring it back home. When I first brought it back home, it was extremely smelly and dirty.

Mr. F was mildly displeased, “Why is it so ugly?”

“Don’t say that! Our dog is just beautiful in an inconspicuous manner.”

After bringing my dog for its vaccination, I brought it to the toilet for a bath whilst Mr. F leaned against the door and looked at us both. Smiling, I looked at him and said, “Our child’s dad, why don’t you think of some names?”

Furrowing his brows, he replied, “Anything will do……Be careful and don’t get bitten.”

“What should we call it? What about Money? I love Money, and I hope that Money would accompany me at all times.”

The dog which was originally laying on the floor seemed to have understood what I said and lifted its head to look at me. Mr. F was also tickled and laughed.

002

Xiao Dao’s front legs suffer from certain defects. Thus, when it attempts to run with its tiny short legs, it would simply limp along, looking terribly silly and supremely cute. When I brought it out for a stroll, this stupid fellow maintained a lowered head the entire trip in order to be able to sniff the road. As a result, it knocked its head on the electric pole with a loud ‘Dong’, and got so confused that it was unable to recognize me, happily running after other strangers instead.

I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh, and commented, “Why is this kid so stupid?”

Mr. F smirked coldly, “It took after its mother.”

“……”

003

There are times when I’m feeling terribly lazy and unwilling to head out; during these times, I would beg Mr. F to bring Xiao Dao out for it to take its dump. Even though Mr. F is often unwilling to help, he would ultimately relent in the face of my incessant begging.

Once, I had to work overtime, and coincidentally met the two of them as I was on my way home. A certain fellow was walking ahead with his hand stuck in his pocket while Xiao Dao toddled shakily behind him. When Xiao Dao occasionally stopped to smell the flowers, a certain person would turn back and glare at it. A frightened Xiao Dao would then immediately hobble over to that fellow and follow in his footsteps.

Just then, a humongous Chow Chow made its appearance. My heart dropped instantly. Xiao Dao had an extreme fear of humongous dogs – probably because it had been bitten by a huge dog in the past. After having taken two additional steps, Mr. F discovered that Xiao Dao was no longer following him. Mr. F then turned back to look at a frightened Xiao Dao (which was rooted to the spot) and stared at it. After some time, an expressionless Mr. F walked over to Xiao Dao and scooped it up, only putting it down only when the Chow Chow was some distance away.

When I returned home, I teased Mr. F, “You actually like my son, don’t you?”

He rolled his eyes before replying, “Why would I like this stupid dog?”

004

After some time, Xiao Dao finally got over its fear of strangers. One day, Mr. F was sitting on the sofa surfing the Internet, and when I got out from the bathroom, I saw Xiao Dao sprawled on the floor and sleeping soundly, having taken Mr. F’s slippers as some sort of pillow.

Mr. F scolded it, “Getting more and more daring each day.”

I went to the shoe cabinet and helped to take a new pair of slippers for Mr. F, as I simply couldn’t bear to wake Xiao Dao up.

005

There was another incident – one night, I urged Mr. F to commence washing up, but this fellow continued dawdling and lazing around, taking his own sweet time to watch his soccer match and play his computer games. In the end, I got annoyed and warned him, “If you don’t go into the bathroom this very instant, I’m going to wreck your computer!”

Mr. F blinked his eyes in surprise, first looking at me before turning his head to look at Xiao Dao. He then chided Xiao Dao immediately, “Didn’t I tell you not to make Mummy angry? She’s currently going through her menopause, so we have to be understanding.” 𝗳𝓇ℯe𝓌𝚎𝚋𝓃𝚘𝚟𝘦𝑙.𝑐𝚘𝙢

Me: “……”

006

Mr. F was due to go on a business trip. Grabbing his luggage, he had already reached the door before he suddenly turned back and walked towards me, so I thought he had forgotten to take an important item.

Xiao Dao wagged its tail and ran towards him. Mr. F bent down, and told Xiao Dao in a serious tone, “When I’m not at home, you shoulder the responsibility of protecting Mummy……”

007

Xiao Dao is very tame and gentle, and had never bitten anybody in its entire life. Once, it started to eat all sorts of items that were laying on the floor; when I noticed some glass shards that were lying around, I immediately pried open Xiao Dao’s mouth without second thought and started digging out the shards.

When Xiao Dao first arrived, Mr. F was constantly worried that Xiao Dao would bite me; however, as time passed, Mr. F became worried that I would bite Xiao Dao whenever I was in a foul mood.

008

Having gone out for a run, Xiao Dao came back with an item in its mouth. After prying the mysterious object from its mouth, I saw that the object in question was a bunch of rose petals. Touched, I exclaimed, “Look here, my son’s all grown up – he knows how to give me flowers now.” After giving a certain person the side-eye, I continued, “Some people didn’t even bother giving me flowers when we were dating.”

He replied, “Since I didn’t give you flowers when we were dating, it’s even more unlikely now.”

I was so angry I commanded Xiao Dao to bite him. He looked at me with an expression of disdain, “Why bother with roses when we’re already such an old couple? Even though I don’t give you flowers, I gave you my wage card and allowed you to spend our money however you wish, didn’t I?”

Having given it some thought, I realized that there was some truth in what he said. Ah, our child’s dad is indeed the brainy one.

009

I have always kept my hair straight and parted in the center out of convenience. The previous time I cut my hair, I originally wanted a simple trim. However, the hairdresser managed to convince me into getting a perm for my hair – it was then that my nightmare started.

First, my hair had to be cut prior to perming. When I saw the hairdresser chop off long locks of my hair in one swift movement, I asked, “Is my hair too short?”

“No it isn’t! Hair must be layered in order for the perm to look nice.”

When the hairdresser was in the midst of perming my hair, an uneasy feeling began to grow in my stomach. Finally, I screwed up the courage and asked nervously, “Perhaps this hairstyle isn’t suitable for me?”

“I’m giving you an air perm right now, which has been extremely popular this year. Given the small size of your face, the perm would be fantastic!”

Alright…… I’ll heed the advice of the professional.

After four hours, the hairdresser finally let out a cry, “It’s done!”. When I raised my head and saw myself in the mirror – how should I describe my feelings at that precise moment in time? All my hopes and dreams were shattered, and life instantly lost its meaning……

I uploaded a photo of my new hairstyle group chat.

Female Goddess: Did you encounter a huge setback?

Me: In the past, my hairstyle was so ugly I had no courage to step out of the door.

Female Goddess: Well, now you probably have no courage to even continue living.

Me: Let me have a moment of peace.

Female Goddess: I’ll introduce a new hairstylist to you. Hopefully he’d be able to save what’s left of your hair.

Having suffered a huge blow to my ego, I was near tears. During the night, I peered at myself in the mirror, “Perhaps it’ll look better if I cut my hair after it grows out.”

Mr. F put down his book and took a good hard look at me, “It’s alright.”

“It isn’t ugly?”

He patted my head and reassured me, “It isn’t ugly, it’s actually pretty cute.”

I instantly brightened up – having heard nothing but disparaging comments the entire day, my battered heart finally received a short reprieve.

Mr. F coolly added, “Both you and Xiao Dao look more like mother and son now.”

Me: …….

010

Mr. F and I were terribly busy with our jobs and simply had no time to take care of Xiao Dao. Thus, I was left with no choice but to bring Xiao Dao back to my old home in order to allow my mum and grandma to care for it.

One day, my mum called me frantically and told me that Xiao Dao was missing. When I first heard the news, I received a huge shock. Subsequently, my mum called once again and reported that Xiao Dao had been found – Xiao Dao had actually ran into my room, sprawled itself on my bed and fallen asleep there.

My mum told me, “Perhaps Xiao Dao missed you too much. After all, your entire bed is filled with your scent.” When I heard that, my eyes began to fill with tears.